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Parents suffer broken bones in violent attacks by their children

Teenage issues and aggression are the most common reasons for calls to a helpline for parents in Ireland.

A HELPLINE FOR parents has said one of the biggest problems people come to them with is aggression by children, with some parents suffering broken bones in violent attacks.

Parentline deals with around 6,000 calls a year providing support to parents on a variety of different issues. Data provided to TheJournal.ie shows teenage issues and aggression topped the list of reasons for calls to the helpline in 2013.

“My instinct is that it’s teenagers, not that I want to forgive them for that kind of behaviour, because it’s unacceptable, but at the same time it’s a very difficult time for children,” company secretary Rita O’Reilly said. “If they’re starting a new school they have different subjects, different teachers, possibly new friends and on top of that pimples and all the physical hormonal things going on”.

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“The majority are roaring and shouting, banging doors or flinging things around the house – ‘shaping up’ is how I like to phrase it,” O’Reilly continued. “We do get cases there where there’s physical harm, we’ve had broken bones, that sort of thing.”

It’s terrifying for them, they’re frightened in the situation thinking ‘God, I’m going to get hit’ but that’s their son or their daughter and they’re wondering if that’s becoming of them, are they ever going to live a proper life – they’re fearful for their children. It’s all just fraught with tension and fear and worry.

Teens

Figures show most of the calls last year relating to anger and aggression were from parents with teens aged 14:

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There is generally little disparity between aggression by boys and girls, O’Reilly said, though there was a bigger gap last year:

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O’Reilly said primarily, parents are calling for someone to talk to as they can be embarrassed to tell people about what is happening to them.

She also said that this is an issue that affects people across the board and no sex, class, income, education level or marital status is prominent among callers to the helpline.

Recession

The organisation is one of few which did not notice a significant change due to the recession as parents were already calling frequently about aggression during the boom years.

However O’Reilly said there have been some examples in the last number of years of adult children returning to live with their parents because of their employment status, or because a relationship has ended.

“Previously, when a relationship broke up they’d both go out and buy a house, now they can’t so they move back to mam and dad,” she explained. “It’s not really anger and aggression in this case, it’s more about who owns the remote control, who does the washing, should you have to tell your parents where you’re going.”

Parentline will soon start a new programme to help train parents to handle aggressive behaviour and the issues that come with it. Some of the main tips include:

  • Wait for a calm moment to discuss their behaviour
  • Make your child aware this is not acceptable
  • Try to find out what is causing your child to behave in this way

If you are affected by any of these issues, you can contact Parentline through its website or on 1890 927 277.

Read: Abused husband was ‘knocked out’ and had knife ‘lunged’ at him>

Column: 10 ways to get on with teenagers>

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48 Comments
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    Mute Ronan Faherty
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:07 PM

    Can it not just be called “the national children’s hospital”

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    Mute Brendan Hughes
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:34 PM

    @Ronan Faherty: or if a name must go on it give it an Irish name. Cú Chullain Ospideal na leannì

    136
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    Mute P.J. Nolan
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:36 PM

    @Brendan Hughes:
    I can see that just rolling off the tongue….

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    Mute Jeanniejampots
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:56 PM

    @Ronan Faherty: no because that’s already what Tallaght is and this is a new entity.

    12
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    Mute Robert Jones Smith
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    Oct 29th 2017, 8:32 PM

    @Ronan Faherty: Hospital Mc Hospitalface

    114
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    Mute The Risen
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:08 PM

    Oh FFS. Perspective please labour. The choice of name won’t endanger children. Building it in a location already crippled with traffic issues at peak times will.

    441
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    Mute George Oscar Bluth
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:17 PM

    @The Risen: where would you have built it?

    17
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    Mute Dave Byrne
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:41 PM

    @George Oscar Bluth: green field site possibly blanchardstown.

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    Mute lavbeer
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:42 PM

    @TonyF: Westport maybe? Or where are you suggesting?

    6
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    Mute Dave Harris
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:43 PM

    @The Risen: yeah, the m50 is a breeze to drive most if the time. (Only a person who hasn’t driven the m50 in the few years would suggest blanch)

    30
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    Mute The Risen
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:50 PM

    @Diarmuid the 15th:

    twitter.com/urrfadder

    Diarmuid
    @urrfadder

    Joined October 2017

    Banned again dermo?

    58
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    Mute Jarlath Murphy
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    Oct 29th 2017, 8:02 PM

    @Diarmuid: Those aul plastic bullet guns don’t fire themselves you know, they have to aimed,

    36
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    Mute Steve Mac
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    Oct 29th 2017, 8:03 PM

    @Dave Harris: I’m on the m50 regularly. I suggest Blanchardstown.

    55
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    Mute Joe Harbison
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    Oct 29th 2017, 8:05 PM

    @TonyF: Tell that to Jonathan Ball and Tim Parry’s parents.

    18
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    Mute were jammin
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    Oct 29th 2017, 8:06 PM

    @The Risen: Are you sure Diarmuid has only been banned 14 times? He was up to 13 a few months ago if I recall correctly……

    31
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    Mute The Risen
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    Oct 29th 2017, 8:55 PM

    @were jammin: LOL! Looks like you hit a nerve. Dermos throwing his adorable little name calling tantrum.

    34
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    Mute were jammin
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:07 PM

    @The Risen: Yes, quite abrasive and childish to be honest. I’ll report it after the weekend……WJ out

    21
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    Mute For Connolly
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:10 PM

    @Diarmuid: nonsense!

    I detest everything SF, the IRA and their trolls stand for. They are a threat to our democracy.

    FC out….

    25
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    Mute The Risen
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:15 PM

    LOL!

    Another sim card down the tubes dermo?

    Just for the record folks, the real For Connollys twitter account is at the following…..

    twitter.com/ForConnolly

    22
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    Mute The Risen
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:19 PM

    @were jammin: Were Jammin. Oft imitated, never emulated.

    12
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    Mute For Connolly
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:24 PM

    @The Risen: remember that usurper troll account you also ran was banned many moons ago werejammin… rofl

    FC out…

    18
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    Mute Paul Kelly
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:37 PM

    @George Oscar Bluth:
    In the Phoenix Park on the site of St Mary’s hospital.

    The new Alder Hey is a stand alone children hospital in a parkland location as is the new Melbourne children’s hospital.
    Funny how they don’t need to be colocated with an adult hospital.

    14
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    Mute The Risen
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    Oct 29th 2017, 10:01 PM

    LOL! Can’t see the stupidity of using ‘FC out’ twice one after the other.

    Silly goose.

    13
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    Mute Christine O'Reilly
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    Oct 30th 2017, 3:46 AM

    @Joe Harbison: sorry but what has that got to do with the new children’s hospital???

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    Mute Padraic Courtney
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    Oct 30th 2017, 8:43 AM

    @The Risen: “By the time I get to Phoenix “

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    Mute Liam Ó Cuinneagáin
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:10 PM

    Tír na nÓg !

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    Mute Fiona deFreyne
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:11 PM

    @Liam Ó Cuinneagáin: I like it. It works on a few different levels, however tongue in cheek.

    35
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    Mute Brendan Mason
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    Oct 29th 2017, 8:17 PM

    The Four Hour Traffic Jam Children’s Hospital.

    71
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    Mute Deborah Behan
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    Oct 30th 2017, 8:47 AM

    @Brendan Mason: the article claims St James’s is on the outskirts of Dublin city center! Ha!

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    Mute Jarlath Murphy
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:12 PM

    Can we just build it and then worry about the name? #spinoversubstance

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    Mute Deborah Behan
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    Oct 30th 2017, 8:46 AM

    @Jarlath Murphy: the problem with it having the exact same name as another major hospital will plague it and all the research and trials and accomplishments it makes until it changes its name or no longer exists. Ridiculous that this is not foreseen and avoided.

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    Mute Séamus Longshanks
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:11 PM

    Agree, it is an artificial name with no meaning.

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    Mute Fiona deFreyne
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:10 PM

    Someone suggested that the hospital be named when it is actually constructed.

    Others have suggested that it be called the AIB or Bank of Ireland Children’s Hospital in recognition of the marvelous and good humanitarian works done by the Banks in Ireland.

    I might suggest The Children’s New Hospital but it has to be a special name.

    53
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    Mute Stephen Maher
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:19 PM

    Brendan is allways Howlin but nobody is listening.

    65
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    Mute winston smith
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:33 PM

    On first impression ‘Phoenix’ just doesn’t do it for me.

    52
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    Mute xor
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:37 PM

    Talking about names, Labour is a bad name for the “Labour” party!

    58
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    Mute Jarlath Murphy
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    Oct 29th 2017, 8:14 PM

    @xor: Labour is a terrible name for a party that gleefully cheered austerity measure after austerity measure and then justified it to themselves by talking about “Tough Decisions” which affected them and their unvouched expenses not one iota while sneering about dregs and expensive phones!

    I will never vote Labour ever again!

    68
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    Mute Ted Murray
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    Oct 29th 2017, 8:18 PM

    @xor: __ That would be like the old British socialist newspaper that changed its name from The Daily Worker to The Morning Star. The Alf Garnett line was that they had to change the name because most of the people reading it were on benefits, and never had a job in their lives.

    8
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    Mute Barry morcom
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:30 PM

    can’t see why they don’t call it ‘ The vastly over budget and completely in the wrong place children’s hospital’ think that’s more appropriate….

    40
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    Mute Davy Boy
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:13 PM

    The Phoenix centre is the name of the new mental health hospital in Dublin 7 but I sure they know that

    35
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    Mute Colette Kearns
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:23 PM

    If they are going to name it after someone it should be “Cathrine Corless children’s hospital”!

    36
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    Mute Colin Masterson
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    Oct 29th 2017, 8:12 PM

    Keep it simple. “Lir”..then the kids are the children of lir..

    35
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    Mute Irish Cottage Rental
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:00 PM

    National Children’s Hospital. Nothing else to say.

    30
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    Mute @mdmak33
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    Oct 29th 2017, 11:24 PM

    Labour party seem the public outrage on twitter etc and jumped on the bandwagon. They have 0 credibility on issues effecting the familys of this country after betraying them when in government 2011-2016.

    27
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    Mute Triona Murphy
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    Oct 30th 2017, 12:28 AM

    Brendan Howlin thinks the name is bizarre?? Most of us are far more worried that the location and model of care are bizarre! All decided when labour were in Government! My favourite name is “The Hames in St James”

    23
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    Mute Paul Coughlan
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    Oct 29th 2017, 10:24 PM

    And the Labour Party is trying to rise from the ashes. LABOUR PHOENIX

    11
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    Mute Dónal MacAonghusa
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:11 PM

    It is a sh*t choice … and probably will be changed ..Katie Taylor children’s hospital after this weekend is the best choice … but called it something like ICH and when some thing worth while happens or when someone dies change it…. all this cr*p and nothing done so far

    25
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    Mute lavbeer
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:30 PM

    @Dónal MacAonghusa: Agreed .. just build it!

    18
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    Mute Fiona deFreyne
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    Oct 29th 2017, 10:30 PM

    The test will be whether or not sick children are ever admitted to this planned hospital.

    10
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    Mute alphanautica
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:13 PM

    It should be named The Mayo Clinic after all the fine nurses that come from the proud county of the country’s best ever Taoiseach managing from economic crisis back to economic health.
    Surely this won’t cause any confusion, our Mayo came first.

    9
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    Mute Eric De Red
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    Oct 29th 2017, 7:26 PM

    A stupid place for a hospital and now a stupid name to go with it.

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    Mute Paul Byrne
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:57 PM

    They should just call it The Children Of Ireland Hospital.

    8
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    Mute ED
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    Oct 29th 2017, 11:01 PM

    We do have the Phoenix park so saying it has no link to Irish history isn’t really accurate..

    And actually that’s one reason to reconsider the name, you wouldn’t want some taxi man bringing a sick kid to the park instead of the hospital or GPS making the same mistake.. A unique easy to say and remember name is important.

    10
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    Mute Anne Marie Devlin
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:42 PM

    It’s hardly a burning issue. However, is it not really close to the Phoenix Park? Or maybe we should rename that too

    6
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    Mute Slim Browne
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    Oct 30th 2017, 11:58 AM

    I reckon they shud name it the “this shudnt have been built here childrens hospital”

    4
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    Mute Paul Kehoe
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:19 PM

    Tir na Og

    3
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    Mute Brian O Reilly
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    Oct 30th 2017, 7:17 AM

    May be put the future name up for grabs to get funding via Advertising Revenue”,The Diageo,”sounds good.

    2
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    Mute John Scott
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    Oct 30th 2017, 8:04 AM

    Maybe the Moan Joan Kelly Hospital

    2
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    Mute Anthony Gallagher
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:40 PM

    Stupid name phoenix ,was this not the name of a alcohol beverage ,lets give its name to someone out of our history books ,the wolf tone childrens hospital ,a hospital which through the fullness of time will serve all the nations children ,from all political and religious spectrums and all parts of the island of ireland

    5
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    Mute Jun Stone
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    Oct 29th 2017, 8:23 PM

    Ah give it a rest, some people have f u c k all to give out about.

    9
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    Mute joe
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    Oct 29th 2017, 9:41 PM

    Who gives a shit about the name! The last cation probably makes sense in fairness.
    It’s close to an existing hospital, not too far from the m50 and is accessible by rail + Luas from all major cities in the country

    5
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