Sign in. It’s quick, free and it’s up to you.
An account is an optional way to support the work we do. Find out more.
A DUBLIN HOSPITAL has successfully treated a man who had an erection which lasted for seven weeks.
The Irish Medical Journal reports that the erection began when the 22-year-old suffered “a blow to the perineum when he fell on to the crossbar of his mountain bike”.
The man was in pain and discomfort for a number of days, but when the pain subsided, he had an ongoing rigid erection.
Five weeks later the man presented to the urology department at the Adelaide and Meath Hospital in Tallaght.
Doctors there found no signs of injury but the penis remained erect. The condition is known as a priapsim and there are only two reports of this ever occurring following a bicycle fall.
Hospital doctors found that the erection stopped when the penis was compressed but noted that “the penis rapidly refilled with blood to full tumescence”.
For two more weeks the condition was managed by a pressure dressing.
A penile angiograph was then taken and the number of catheters and four platinum coils were inserted to cure the condition.
Thankfully, the unwanted erection was resolved immediately and the patient had a uneventful recovery.
After one month, he reported satisfactory erection and intercourse. A happy ending for all involved.
To embed this post, copy the code below on your site
He wasn’t complaining for the first 5 weeks!
Neither was his missus lol
Neither was his moth lol
Or his boyfriend :)
Lucky fecker!! How exactly did it happen?
I can get ye a lend of that bike if you want
I can imagine the headlines tomorrow, “CROSSBAR PUTS VIAGRA OUT OF BUSINESS”!
By removing the saddle.
Could he not have used the old fashioned way to get rid of it?
No need for platinum coils just coil your fingers
I’d say he was feeling a bit lightheaded with all the blood gone from the big head to the small head! But at least it was a happy ending.
Not sure I understand the problem here ; P
The guy with the worlds largest penis used to pass out every time he got an erection!
He said it was an optical illusion. Or the pleats in his pants
You mean she wasn’t complaining :-):-)
That happens all the time in our house with my missus
Guinness book of records ?
This has to be a Guinness world record
Was running the risk of permanent blindness…..
Totally wrong. This is actually a very painful and unpleasant condition.
During the last 7 weeks he done the business with at least 6 female gardai who in turn have been suspended and charged with “receiving swollen goods “
The wife read this story and put my bike on Buy and Sell….
Imagine calling in sick……. well whats wrong with you?….ehhhhh
Men’s problems.. :)
Swollen glands
The wife sent me out to buy a mountain bike today on the cycle to work scheme…….why! I am unemployed
@Niall Griffin:
That’s swollen glans!
Some guys have all the luck!
Swollen glans you mean…
5 weeks with a horn. I wonder was his missus keeping him from seeing the doctor.
She hid his medical card
tumescence, must remember that word…
You’ve got to hand it to him..
Is that tumescence the yellow powder what they use to colour curry?
That’s hard.
Coulda been worse. It could have been 7 foot long.
He quite literally had a pain in his bollocks.
Also “priapism”..
There are too many “unwanted erections” in the world already…….
So sad!
Please ladies, give one a good home. #adoptahorn.
Gives a whole new meaning to the expression…. I’m going out on the bike for a ride!
…’a happy ending’..must remember those words..Freudian slip Rónán?!
Everything is cyclical…what goes around, comes around, especially if you rap your nethers off a crossbar…
Those dam sexy bikes
Be careful what you wish for… When he was young he always wanted a horn on his bike…
Jaysus, that’s a bit stiff.
What goes up must come down…
Thumbs up for the Happy Ending joke at the end of the article.
Luckily the accident didn’t kill him, they’d never have gotten the lid on the coffin!
How did he manage work? Must have been like the scene from anchorman!!! Move along now people nothing to see here !!
“Don’t act like you’re not impressed”
I’d say he had a “bone” to pick with his doctor.
Lucky you put ‘bone’ in inverted commas or nobody would have gotten your amazing pun.
Lucky you replied or else nobody would have known you’re a humourless sod.
Knob gobbler strikes again!
He did a Handstand to go for a piss..
He wanted something for the pain but leave the swelling.
Sad to see the noble sport of cycling dragged through the gutter once again. I wonder what the ICC will make of this latest headline.
I’m surprised the doctor’s made no mention of his chronic wrist injuries
Perineum. Commonly known as the ‘Taint’. Why ?? Because it taint your ass or it taint your balls. Its no man’s land.
Nah, that’s called your “Barse” cause it ain’t your balls or your arse
It’s also been known as the hollocks…you can figure out the etimology yourselves
The gooch is another one….
I always think Colm Cooper has an unfortunate nickname!
Its a Tisnt
If he was over 40 the article would have read somewhat different….. “Man with 7 week erection fights doctors off with all his strength”.
Was it a mounting bike that caused this?
I can see this article leading to a lot of cringe worthy puns
Don’t be such a stiffy
Ah no need to be so HARD ON us
No Pain No Gain.Hic!
No need for bells on bicycles any more. They come with a horn on the handlebars.
Should have given him “susan boyles 2014 calendar” would have saved the Hse a few bob !
That’s the comment of the day in my opinion.
I think it’s a nice story, particularly during these hard times !
Tallaghornication…
Now, who needs viagra!, a good old smash on the crossbar will do the trick!
Hard luck
Judging by your profile picture and the amount of steroids you consume, I’d say your 2 inches hard.
*you’re*
Aw play nice
Nope, “your” is spelt correctly first time.
Actually it wasn’t.
First time it was, missed the second one!
My wife’s a nurse in a Dublin hospital. She’s been doing a lot of nights for the past few months. I asked her was she finding it hard and she just smiled…
Rumour has it, in order to save time, he pole vaulted over to the hospital..
Did the nurses give him a hand?
Cold spoon
And the award for best accompanying photo ever goes to…
How’s the bike
She’s a bit tired and sore after the five weeks prior to his doctors visit, but other than that, thoroughly satisfied!
I’ll get me coat!
And now i’ve to explain to everyone why I’m snorting with laughter. Thanks xx
The journal is really stuck for stories. Pathetic. And surely this is personal details that the hospital personnel should not be giving to media. I enjoy a laugh but not at this misfortunes expense. Imagine if media made a joke of any injury that occurred to female genitalia?
The Irish Medical journey reports..ha someone didn’t read the article. Relax and loosen up, you are as stiff.
Wonder when the seedy side of HollyWOOD will be contacting him…
Ah here, he’s probably already linked this onto his Facebook page delighted with himself.
Sluazcanal, yes fair enough it was on the medical journal but the journal.ie put the article on this forum to create entertainment. They didnt put on much else from the medical journal as you may notice. I don’t need to lighten up I assure you, but I am not into laughing at the misfortunes of others.
Tom, i am sure the poor fella has been having a hard time of it lately, so please relax, let off some steam and enjoy the moment….
Tom, tell me, was it Misfortune?
Ok Graham I will relax, cheers for that because I was so stressed about it all.
No problems Tom, I am sure this guy was loving it at first, and the missus, no need for foreplay, but after a while, that stain on the ceiling in toilet would have got to her, and maybe thats when she said enough!
Hi Tom. We often report items from multiple medical journals. The IMJ had a paper on this today given the rarity of the case. There are no identifiable details at all given. thanks, Sinead
@tom, that would be a FANNY situation if that happened. BOOM BOOM!
What the hell is this in the news for! Garbage story
Someone’s jealous. Do u want to borrow my mountain bike?
Get up outta that !!!
Hi Shane. It was written up for the Medical Journal as it was noteworthy for being a rare case. Thanks, Sinead
Indeed……
What a load of Cock!
Shane, would you rather read about all our gruesome murders, stabbings, assaults , muggings, burglaries and horrific car smashes ? At least this article put a smile on a few faces, especially the ladies. This story reminds me of the lad who rang up his local chemist to enquire if they sold Viagra ,
” yes sir , we do ” ……..can I get it over the counter he asked …..” Yes sir you can, but only if you take two “
I would say he handled it okay….
The journal slowly slipping in to the gutter with the sun, sky news, itv2, bbc3 etc etc!! Shabby lazy journalism!
Says a fella with Tooler as a name..
Why would you assume I’m a fella? Should we call you psychic niallers from now on!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey Tooler, lets test my psychic powers, Big football fan who voted Fianna fail in the past …
Comments on the journal everyone and again..
Am I right?
Afraid not Miller’s, voted natural law party and sleep on Egyptian sheets every night, football is not my niche at all!!!! Well wide of the mark niallers, you must be a fake!
Not according to you twitter account ;-)
Who is Doogan and why do you want to tool him?
Great pun to finish the story “happy ending “!!!!!
If I had have known I could have sent him a picture of the mother in law.
I’d love to know what picture they showed him to get his “un eventful recovery”
Susan Boyle woulda brought it down fairly quick
Maggie tatcher naked on a cold day
I’d say his missus wasn’t too upset all the same!
My friend had a girlfriend who was halfway to London when she found out Big Ben was a clock……
It isn’t. Big Ben is just the bell.
platinum coils inserted…… *shudder*
Doctor Doctor I have a permanent erection
Come here and we’ll see whats up
Dont you just hate when that happens.
5 weeks with an erection ,that must have wrecked his head ..
He must have been peddling for days.
my ass is hittin’ the ceilin 3 times a night , every erection is a wanted erection
You come across as being soooooooooooooooooo sadddddddddddddddddddddd!!!
You must have a fat ass
what dyu mean ryleigh? why am i sad? explian? If your trying to make me feel insecure its not working?
an BTW ryleigh i gave your comment a red thumb. everyone red thumb ryleigh!
and roland 303 is so 90′s get a fantom boi!
You can put the trampoline out in the garden now again Steve. The wind is gone.
mcGoo your jealous i bet youcoxafloppin
Stop stalking him then, Rayleigh
3 times a night Steve???!!!
That’s one heavy duty inflatable woman you have there.
I must get the old bike out of the shed and see can I recreate this.
Almost 44,000 views on this article now! Probably a multiple of article confirming mandela’s death…….what a country we are haha!
Cut the pocket ov his trousers
At least there’s not much chance of him falling out of the hospital bed.
Must have felt like a right p***k!
Must have been a hard time for him ;)
Now ye know why I cycle to work everyday!
Hey hey c’mon now everyone stop giving him such a HARD time
Tumescence! Now there’s a word to remember!
Awwwww, I love a happy ending!
And tell me now were you on the bicycle when you fell off of it.
It’s hard not to laugh :-D
Hope for his sake he is not a priest, or undertaker or surgeon or….
Why does every comment on this page end up in a slanging match????
Your owl wan.
Doctors told him to keep a stiff upper lip.
Fun times eh.
What happened to patient confidentiality?
“Hard” to say
My mate is a nurse and she told me last year a bloke came to hospital with a week long erection and it had built up gangrene and had to be snipped. Poor fecker was only 23!!
Hard to believe.
the new “stiffie on the liffie”?
Heard he came off a two stroke
How long is seven weeks?
Been there. Won’t lie, my stock went up around the stables for a while, but after 6 weeks it does become a bit boring!
It’s what you call
“Riding your Bike”
The seven week itch..
A hard man to please, how long was he waiting in the A+E and how did he hide it?
That is the number of bicycle accidents set to rise drastically,there will be fellas throwing themselves off bikes left right and centre all over the country!!!
If he makes a claim do you think it would stand up in court?
Turns out it wasn’t a medical problem when they found is missing bike stand.
At least he could sleep safely on a slope.
That must have been hard for him……
There was a case of cannibalism in the Carlow/Kilkenny border area during the 2nd World War years.
Most people use a more common measurement system!
What goes up must come down…
Kleenex shares have soared I’d say
Would’ve thought there was an issue a bit before 7 weeks!! Haha
Id say the doctors and nurses at the hospital had a “hard” time keeping a straight face
onwards and upwards
How was it resolved?
The surgeon was singing Stephen Foster:
“Hard times, hard times,
Come again no more….”
Poor mans viagra
How long is 7 weeks in inches? ;-)
He must of been smashing some pussy
Must get up on the bike!
The photo of the monument with the article is brilliant.
Does the picture have a hidden meaning?
My missus wants to know what make of bike he was riding as it’s coming up to valentines day soon !
Was it a hard tail?
I’m sure he’ll get up on it again soon.
Sounds like a rigid course of treatment.
Hope he doesn’t get a fat one from the hospital.
That’ll do for now.
He’s has it hard
Loving the choice of picture hahaha
I know how he feels….
That’s it ; I’m getting my bike fixed tomorrow and going for a cycle
That must’ve been a hard one…
The nurse’s we’re probably just good looking.
Is the bike for sale?
I believe the issue at the root of it all was the unsatisfactory Pedal and Crank on the bike.
Tumescence – well I did learn something after all by reading this rag. ”I’m at full tumescence tonight my dear ”
It was a hard one for them to treat?
What a Dick
Many’s a girl I’ve asked to blow on my perineum….. The last laugh is on them now for refusing ….
I’d say his lady had no complaints!
I have a weak, long erection.
have your say