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WHAT ARE THE traits of a dysfunctional family or household? Maybe there is conflict and tension. Maybe there is poor communication. Maybe people don’t understand each other and maybe they don’t want to understand each other.
There may be control issues or maybe there is no respect for diversity, with an expectation that all family members will behave in the same way.
At times maybe there is bullying, intimidation and violence.
In a dysfunctional household when visitors come calling there may also be a concerted effort to hide the problems and put on the “outward” face – to show that things are “normal”. No problems here – until the visitors leave. Then back to as it is.
Is that what is happening in this region when it is suggested flags and emblems, and murals, are removed from the Giro d’Italia route?
Are we the dysfunctional family? Visitors are coming so let’s clean the place up; let’s not argue while they are here. Let’s pretend it’s like this all the time. Isn’t it great?
But for many people flags on lamp posts and murals with gunmen in aggressive poses with bullying and intimidating messages are an everyday reality, not just on the route of the Giro d’Italia.
For many, they demarcate territory and with them come the messages they are designed to send.
I understand why there are calls to remove the flags, emblems and murals on the race route. Something is better than nothing.
But isn’t the most important thing that like many dysfunctional families we recognise that some behaviour isn’t normal. We simply don’t understand each other and maybe still don’t want to understand each other.
Underlying everything is the need to recognise that building a shared and reconciled society will take decades and generations, and will need major resourcing and commitment to make it happen.
And what does not help in that work is allowing intimidating and bullying images to shape space and distort attitudes.
And agencies have a duty of care to all people, including those that feel intimidated whether they are a member of a dysfunctional family or whether they are just living their lives within the community – our community.
Peter Osborne is Chair of the Community Relations Council and can be followed on Twitter at @PeterOsborne_
This article first appeared on EamonnMaillie.com
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What could they have possibly come up with at the 11th hour that no one thought of before. My guess is that it will be Mays deal but with new language and the DUPs are the fall guys as they will have to try to convince the media it’s a different deal. They also need to convince their electorate that it’s a new deal because they want happy campers post Brexit and to be able to say they saved their precious union.
@Paul Furey: Boris’s paper has adopted a long awaited change of tone – interesting … looks like the Boris bus is on the way
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/politics/2019/10/10/northern-ireland-burden-rest-uk-cant-let-get-way-brexit/
Boris was always planning a deal. It was noted in Sept by senior Tories Johnson had said he’d have no problem throwing the DUP under the bus. For that, first he needed to lose the majority, go for the no deal and flush out the patriots from the Tories, Gets rid and the majority’s gone and with that the DUP became meaningless. The blame game and erratic nonsense since wasnt for the EU’s benefit, the ridiculous offer was for Arlene Foster so she’d row in behind and lose public support in NI-job done. Unlawful actions was to throw parliment up in arms and have them aghast so when he comes back with something similar to the red line May Deal that she wouldnt put to parliment, the Labour rebels and theTories set adrift will row in behind him and suddenly he has the majority again. I think the first vote he’ll win will be that deal and the DUP are thrown away. Its the only thing that makes sense the past number of weeks. Its actually genius when you think about it a s much as I hate to say it
@Daimhín De Naois: the Editorial in The Daily Telegraph today reflects exactly what the Tories think of Northern Ireland within the UK – a millstone! Terrible stuff.
@Daimhín De Naois: you’re giving the tories too much credit there.
….not sure the DUP see the bus coming…..
@Michael Murray: I’m sure the penny must be dropping – Boris’s newspaper, published this morning, is letting them know of the imminent arrival
Ireland and EU can and hopefully will drive a deal through . EU the ones always using Ireland as a stick to beat UK. Varadker needs to get a deal done that’s best for Ireland , not the EU. Junk the drunk and mister Barnier won’t be best pleases at Boris and Taoiseach making progress. EU don’t do democracy and will do all in their power to stop Brexit.
@Willy Mc Bride: poor UK been forced to leave and look for a deal oh wait there choice there lies.
Easiest deal ever , they need us more than we need them , we can get a great deal .
On the plus side, Johnson at least bothered to tuck his shirt in this time. He must mean business.
Good conversation about socks so
@Eugene Conroy: Haha a sock joke so original
That’s Ireland and ‘UK’ can and hopefully will ensure a deal…
@Willy Mc Bride: hey Willy where’s the bus .
How did the DUP ever think, could get a veto on the backdrop? These are big boys games, as they are about to find out!
I hope Varadkar didn’t flinch.
@JoyMonkey: When could FG ever say no to the Tory party???
Nothing like a good fudge?
Veradker should make a deal with Johnson for a free trade deal
@Alan Scott: Ah jesus come on, inform yourself.
He’s now even tying his bloody tie like Trump!
@Big Red: Boris gets Trump to tell Leo what to do and that is my fear… And Boris does what Trump tells him then???
It’s not just an Irish border but also an EU one as well???
@TamuMassif2019: In case you did not know Ireland is part of the EU – and quite happy to be a member according to latest polls. So if it would be an Irish border with a non EU country then you can call it both – Irish and EU border – no problem. What is exactly your question?
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