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SO IT TURNS out it’s not only Shakira’s breasts that are humble; the international megastar revealed in last Friday’s Billboard interview that she is no longer permitted to appear in music videos with male co-stars, because boyfriend Gerard Piqué, in a fit of pique (sorry), has banned it.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel for fans who enjoy straight pop stars holidaying in same-sex relationships, though. In the absence of a burly dude to caress her, Shakira has enlisted the services of noted good sport Rihanna, who Piqué approves of wholeheartedly. Possibly because he thinks lesbianism is a kind of foreplay. An exhibition to whet your palette while you check if there are any XXL condoms left in your wallet, that kind of thing.
The video for Shakira’s “event single” Can’t Remember To Forget You is most certainly a thing of beauty, even if it runs on so familiar a concept as to be relatively tiresome. Beautiful lady rolls around on bed, humps wall, is joined by other beautiful lady, humps walls in sync. Shakira is, as always, gorgeous, and the similarly striking Rihanna adds her branded snarl to give proceedings an edge. Then they take their tops off and have a cuddle. If you’re 15, you’re gonna love it. (I’m a little jaded because I watch a lot of dance music videos and honestly, every time a dancer doesn’t take their top off in a dance music video, we sound the klaxons and hide behind the couch). It’s not pornographic, exactly, but you really don’t want to be watching this one with your mam: “Is that that nice Rhododendron girl? My, that’s a big cigar.”
But back to the reason for the topless cuddle: it’s there, Shakira coos, to placate Piqué, because “He’s very territorial. Since he no longer lets me do videos with men… I have to do them with women.” Not content with making her boyfriend sound like a conquistador, she continues, “It’s more than implied in our relationship that I can’t do videos like I used to. It’s out of the question — which I like, by the way. I like that he protects his turf and he values me, in a way that the only person that he would ever let graze my thigh would be Rihanna.” Now, I know Señor Piqué isn’t the only footballer to come across like a hormonal mix of Hernando Cortés, Veruca Salt and Tony from West Side Story, but to hear this from the mouth of his own missus? He sounds positively primeval.
The possessive partner is one of those tropes that’s used for romantic effect in bodice-rippers and problematic codswallop written by Stephenie Meyer and E.L. James, but it’s not an archetype to aspire to in reality. Search for “possessive partner” on Google and you don’t get directions for BDSM play and Interflora numbers; you get article after article on how to deal with a domineering loved one. Someone who tries to control their partner’s life to the extent where he or she has to examine very minor decisions in the context of whether it will cause offence, lead to an argument or end in a violent altercation is far from romantic. It’s exhausting, upsetting and potentially dangerous.
“Possessive” is a lot closer to “abusive” than it is to “starry-eyed”.
Shakira is a hyper-successful artist who’s sold over 125 million records. She’s got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. She’s a philanthropist and activist who’s passionate about childhood education. She has addressed governments. She has been honoured by the UN. She recorded her first album when she was 13 years old. Shakira is not the kind of person you would think to allow her partner dominion over her professional life.
Any successful relationship requires a little bit of compromise, and there is nothing inherently terrible about Piqué confiding in his girlfriend that her raunchy promos with male dancers make him uncomfortable. Hey, it’s understandable; no one’s perfect, no one’s 100 per cent self-assured all the time. He’s a decade younger. And let’s be generous here and suggest that there’s nothing entirely appalling about him suggesting she use Rihanna as a substitute, so long as we can roll our eyes at the notion that “girl-on-girl action” is primarily designed to appeal to straight men, rather than, y’know, girls. Perhaps it’s long been a fantasy of his, who knows? Perhaps Shak is happy to indulge him.
It would have been so much better had the lovers decided to keep this to themselves.
Giggling about how Piqué forbids her to employ male co-stars because he “values” her too much promotes the seriously dodgy notion that love can only truly be expressed through control. That may seem a delicious little conceit when you’re a 37-year-old, endlessly ambitious superstar, a cute fantasy that you have a big strong man who’ll mind you when you get home from dominating the music industry or fighting educational imbalance and prejudice. It’s not so helpful if it gets through to a 19-year-old fan who thinks being locked in on a Saturday night or bawled out in front of friends is just a demonstration of undying passion.
That’s assuming that Shakira’s comments are meant to be taken light-heartedly, though this isn’t the first time she’s portrayed Piqué as a domineering, kind-of-douche. In a January interview with Glamour magazine, Shakira said that she felt the pressure to stay superstar-thin had been alleviated somewhat because Piqué “prefers meat over bone”. From one kind of pressure to another, then. Let’s hope that Shakira is simply spouting the kind of heavily romanticised guff one is prone to when one is in love, in which case we feel justified wishing she’d button it. The alternative doesn’t bear thinking about.
Read more of Lisa McInerney’s columns here >
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He’s ‘territorial’?! I wonder if he pees on her to mark his territory…
I would.
On a more relevant point, what a bloke. Three times champions league winner, world cup winner, European championship winner and at the end of the day gets to give her a poke … Fair play!
yeah but he’s insecure as f*ck, sad fecker,
He’s laying down the law, you go G.
I would call it insecurity !
Just saw the video. Shakira makes Rihanna look mediocre at best.
Rihanna is mediocre at best, though
What man first want to see his woman fool around with another woman.
*doesnt
Wouldn’t kick either of them out of bed for eating biscuits
Probably over the top from him alright but then again he does have to train every day with 30 footballers who would just love to tear into him about his wife’s on screen exploits
I wonder how he would feel uf she told him he couldnt play in the same team as a gay footballer ( no pun intended) for fear he would see him naked in the showers?
Great player but a fool of a man if he thinks any relationship will last telling ppl what they can or cant do…
Well Victoria Beckham did plenty of dictating to David on that front, but hey, let’s ignore that one.
I don’t know how you could compare looking at someone to actually fondling and kissing, if not more (esp nowadays) with someone that’s not your partner. Every one looks I think the idea here is that he doesn’t want anyone to touch. I sure as hell would not be happy having to watch my bloke *act* that way towards another woman and have the whole world see it also.
Who would it matter if the footballer was gay or not?
Gerard Piqué MIGHT be a dick. Can I get a job writing for The Journal now?
…Oh I’m sure this relationship will last long…
4 years so far.
The most word heavy and picture light article I’ve ever seen….
Let’s be honest here and talk about how notions like this devalue lesbian relationships. It’s alright to gyrate around other women because that’s not “real”. Only another man could possibly “steal” his woman. It really grinds my gears how this type if sh!te feeds into the whole “lesbians are there for entertainment” trope. P!sses me off.
You can thank evolution for that. It’s a primal thing. It’s why stags butt heads. Does it make rational sense? No, but it’s human nature and you’re simply never going to change human nature.
Also, if Shakira was gay or bi, he might actually have a problem with it then.
“Shakira is not the kind of person you would think to allow her partner dominion over her professional life”
Why not? Why wouldn’t he have a problem with his long term partner half naked prancing around with blokes? Would she not have a problem if it was the other way around?
She’s a 37 year old woman. People outgrow that kind of nonsense. Mind you, some people stay in their perpetual teen mindset all their lives, but they are to be pitied.
Either way, whatever agreement they came to is no one elses business. Looking for a female victim seems to be one of Lisa’s constant urges.
I agree Sam constantly looking for a victim that one and spinning nonsensical stories! The reality is Shakira says odd things all the time and I’d bet money that this is just another odd thing thrown out in order to get “coverage”! She also said at the start of her relationship with him she has nothing to offer him but her womanhood (interview in elle magazine) who says that? This video is very like her video for beautiful liar with Beyonce which was released well before she was with her current otherhalf, sex sells and beautiful liar was a huge success it’s only natural she’d want to replicate that success and what better way to go about it than take it one step further with Rihanna, it then gets a bit of backlash due to the raunchiness involved and she comes out with a line about how she only does videos with women now out of an unspoken understanding between herself and her partner, hmmm it really does all boil down to money the least she could do is be honest about it!
If it was the other way round Lisa would have no problem with it. Harrison Ford’s wife and many other spouses and partners of actors don’t allow their actor partners to do sex scenes. It makes them uncomfortable and upsets them. Why? Because they are human, that’s why.
However Lisa just can’t help herself and has to turn everything into man = bad. Woman = victim. It’s pretty pathetic.
Idiot
Gossiping and speculating about the nature of a celebrity relationship? Is this The Journal or The Sun? If there was evidence of abuse, fair enough but there isn’t any. There is literally no evidence as to whether it’s “possessive” or “passionate”. Nobody knows what goes on behind closed doors. So what’s the point of this article other than to gossip about people’s private relationships?
The point is to cast him as a control freak – or to suggest it. Truth is almost any person, celeb or otherwise, male or female, would have an issue with it were their partners doing it. Common sense alone dictates that, but some people prefer to make it into something entirely different and prefer to think that people’s emotions don’t exist – or shouldn’t exist – to suit their own agenda.
I totally get the ‘smash the patriarchy’ thing but this is a totally ridiculous hill to die on. Female pop star stops cavorting with men in her videos because her boyfriend doesn’t like it? Is that a big deal? Really? I mean, I’m not a woman so maybe there’s a perspective I’m missing here. And to suggest that he’s being controlling because she “doesn’t feel pressure” to be skinny cause he likes a bit of meat on the bones is scraping the barrel. Really.
I think any man ‘banning’ a woman from doing something sounds controlling. The language used, territory and turf, is also problematic. If they have an agreement by consent that’s one thing but the way she has framed this sounds unpleasant. Shakira has always been an advocate and role model for young women, particularly in Latin America. The signals she’s giving out here aren’t great.
Of the genders Sam, women are the more bossy in my experience.
There is, in my estimation, more than one double standard going on here – as there often is on Lisa’s articles.
My partner and I have agreements on things that are off limits. So, I am forbidden to do certain things, as is she. Everyone, and every relationship has boundaries.
My preference is for the Shakira Beyonce duet video. Rihanna is not on the same page as these two as performers..
Another man who prefers meat to bone, then.
More fool her if she is letting him dictate what to do and who not to work with.
Girl on girl is better anyway!
Mark, some bad news for you, lesbians in real life don’t look like lesbians on the internet
Is the internet not real? Dammit!
Really CPM, so you’ve seen every lesbian in ‘real life’? That’s impressive!
He’s just thinking of the common man. Haven’t heard any man complain yet.
Pique for all his wealth and talent is insecure.Honest question why do girls put up with control freaks? Guys that do it are pathetic.
He is latino and therefore “macho”.latina women like this believe it or not. I should know cos im married to one. If youre easygoing about such matters they consider you dont care for them enough. Men are expected to be strong and macho and women get to be real women. Not these half batshit crazy feminists we have on this side of the world. Any latina woman turns her nose up at feminists and feminism and this androgenous shite. They are women and love being women and want their men to be men. Old school and traditional values. Awesome
macho? he’s obviously an insecure jealous scorpion. he’d cry if he’s football mates stole his woman , that is his biggest fear and it will come true, always does. insecurity is a no no. macho men are not insecure.
insecure macho men? your logic does not not makes sense. i’ve known lots of brazilian women here and i can tell you, some like macho men, protective but…. jealous, possessive behaviour does not go down well, with anyone! theres protective but then theres going overboard. you need to know when to draw the line.
I never said insecure. You came up with that my man. Hes macho. No way is another guy cavorting with his missus. And the missus resects that. Believe it or not. Build a bridge and get over it. Other cultures have different values. Do some travellin!
“Do some travellin!”
*cringe*
He’s very Pique isn’t he
Thats hilarious man. Good one!
The reason that we know this is because Shakira chooses to tell the world about her obedience to her mans wishes. Lisa uses this to portray him as weak, while ignoring the fact that Shakira is employing attention seeking behaviour.
It looks like somebody needs somebody more than the other in that relationship. Anyone care to guess who that might be? Having done so, would anyone care to suggest a reason why anyone should be interested? No?
What a load of convoluted, excessively worded, vacuous, and above all, biased rubbish!
Oh, it’s Lisa, the ever smiling beacon of equality and fairness. Never mind. Carry on.
Just want to say im a huge fan of your work in Number 10!
I am gratified by your plaudits, sir, and thank you for them.
I seem to have misplaced my key to the connecting door, though. I wonder if Woolley has it?
I may yet be, the one who knocks.
Quality references. Particularly the last one!
Think I’ll be starting Yes, Minister agai tonight!
I thoroughly recommend both series. The new one is terribly poor though.
Agreed. The new one is awful. I gave it 15 or 20 minutes and had to turn it off.
The comments so far are trying to be funny this is quite a disturbing situation. The bf is a control freak. Imagine what he be like if she gives a guy a hug. I bet he lose the temper and give a smack.
Just like Rihanna’s fella so
Good man yourself Gerard. More girl on girl videos on the way then. Pique for president of Catalonia.
Girl power
‘Let’s hope that Shakira is simply spouting the kind of heavily romanticised guff one is prone to when one is in love, in which case we feel justified wishing she’d button it.’
Surely she is doing what professional celebrities do, i.e. making it very easy for columnists to write about her?
More like territorial, and he’s only her boyfriend ! What would he be like if they got married. Get rid of him !!!
Passionate or possessive?
Neither. The word you are looking for is primitive.
I wouldn’t mind grazing her thigh. On the other side pique said he doesn’t want her to be stick thin. He’s happy for her to have some meat on her bones. Surely this is a good thing?
I would say she would love to see him giggling and girating up against a few sexy ladies of course or would the feminists here have a meltdown?
Publicity stunt.
Judging by the photo in the front page, it might be very cunning.
He don’t have a problem with her been felt up by another woman do bit psycho alright
Should kick him to the kerb.
Looking all over the place…but damn it, I can’t seem to find a sh@t to give about this…
Rihanna is WAY hotter in this vid.
Jason, I heartily endorse your sane and sensible analysis.
Maybe she could go get singing lessons and sing in her videos instead of this soft porn masquerading as music shite ! Neither herself rhianna or Beyonce have a note in their heads.
I wouldn’t like to see my other half cavorting with another female on video, but I wouldn’t ban him from doing so.
Kn€b head
A great piece on the subtleties of Domestic Violence, male vulnerability expressed through a very dominant masculinity and the strange behaviours of how really successful women and their sexualities are framed by what can only be described as a sad, insecure man.
Then again she ate the face off a half naked Rafael Nadal in her ‘Gypsy’ video.. Didn’t think that sent a good message either!! Only had sympathy for her boyfriend after seeing that..must have been tough for him!
Who ever wrote this needs to keep there nose out of other people’s business, #manhater
Publicity stunt. …. fact
Infairness if I had a women as fit as her I’d be pretty worried she’d leave me lol saying that she’s a fantastic artist. Seen her live, she’s bloody epic!
No speaky until the man speaky first…
he says… shakira, do like me , you can kiss only the same sex …you can ask to ibramovich …
He obviously doesn’t trust her I’d dump him straight away possessive little pique. ;)
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