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TRISHA MOONEY IS adamant that her son died by suicide – not by hanging.
Yet, his current death cert says ‘Asphyxiation by hanging’ under the ‘Cause of Death’ box.
“Gareth did not die from hanging,” she told TheJournal.ie recently, following an announcement by Joan Burton that she will introduce new short-form certificates which can omit the cause of death.
“He died from a mental health illness. He took his own life by suicide, using the method of hanging.”
It is something the Wicklow mother has thought deeply about in the four years since Gareth died.
It is also something she has been confronted with on a regular basis as she see her granddaughter – Gareth’s daughter – grow up.
“I have lobbied and lobbied for this short death cert,” she explains. “The reason I wanted the wording changed was not to remove suicide or to change the statistics of suicide.
“I want to see suicide on the death cert. It’s not on my son’s right now… That word hanging is so insensitive.
“When my son’s daughter (who is now almost seven years old) has to get a passport, she has to produce his death cert. She needed to bring it in for various things in school. She’s can read now. She can see that word, hanging. And, really, I don’t think the school secretary needs to see that either.”
Gareth Mooney took his own life at his home in Wicklow on 23 July 2010. He had been to see a psychiatrist that day after a long battle with his mental health.
His daughter was just a toddler at the time.
“She knows he’s dead but is too young to comprehend the seriousness of suicide,” says Trisha today.
“We will tell her when the time is right. When she can understand. She has been told her daddy died and that he won’t be coming back. We say he had a pain in his head and the doctors couldn’t make him better.”
Trisha says that she will be able to get the short death cert in about six weeks time and it will be a happy day in her life.
She recalls his inquest, which took place Christmas week in 2010, with pain.
“It was on the 23 December in the heavy snow. There were 11 other families there… It was so cold and impersonal. First, we had to listen to our child’s measurements, irrelevant details such as the content of the stomach.
But then there was a detail that sparked a memory which Trisha describes as “our last funny moment”.
“There was high garlic content in the stomach,” she remembers. “We left the doctor and had lunch in a nearby hotel. He was looking for garlic sauce for his chips and he looked up and there was a woman in her early 50s there, but he decided to ask another girl. A tiny, foreign girl with a beautiful figure.
He asked her for that sauce from her feet to her head. I called him out on it and said he was disgraceful. That was our last funny memory – he was eyeing her up. That’s where the garlic contents came from.
With Burton’s announcement last week and the death of Robin Williams on Monday, the Mooney family were reminded that the illness and suicide touches people of “every age and gender and in every walk of life”. They were also reminded of their own loss.
It is like a little button being pressed inside you again. Every time you hear of a suicide, it’s that button. Like a recall button. I was very upset this week.
“It is the little things,” she adds. “He is not here to meet his niece – my daughter had a baby six weeks ago. There’s another grandson who is celebrating his birthday today. He’s five. He’s not here for his daughter starting school. He’s missing out on life. And we had no chance to say goodbye, to tell him we love him. Suicide has that knock-on effect. It is more horrific because there is also this tinge of guilt.
Burton clarified after the announcement of the short death certs that they will not impinge on statistics or, in her opinion, stifle debate about mental health.
Helplines
Samaritans 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
Console 1800 247 247 – (suicide prevention, self-harm, bereavement)
Aware 1890 303 302 (depression anxiety)
Pieta House 01 601 0000 or email mary@pieta.ie - (suicide, self-harm, bereavement)
Teen-Line Ireland 1800 833 634 (for ages 13 to 19)
Childline 1800 66 66 66 (for under 18s)
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You couldn’t imagine how the world could let this happen??? Neither can I Nadia…..
@Nora McElhinney: Not taking away the fact from your comment Nora but you do realise there is a lunatic in Russia with the power to destroy the world as we know it.
I can’t belive that Ireland is not helping Ukrainians leave Ukraine or around the western borders. I can’t believe that all the charities raking in donations are not here on the border helping women and children. I can’t belive the Irish government expect Ukrainians to walk to Ireland. There’s a lot of things I can’t believe about Irelands response to the Ukrainian refugees, the trafficking at the borders, kidnapping of women and children. I so happy you got to Ireland Nadia. Please tell the story of the hell on the borders and the lack of help Ukrainians are getting down here from Ireland.
@Joby Redmond: what have you done? Have you taken in a refugee? Are you going over to fight? You can if you volunteer. Stop pretending to care.
@John Moloney: actually, I think Joby is on the ground in Poland doing everything that he can for the refugees. From what I’ve seen online anyway.
@John Moloney: Did it ever enter your head that there are people on here that genuinely care, and are involved in whatever capacity they can. Say something positive for a change.
@Colleen: has he taken one in? NO. End of. Its a great time to appear as a good person online. Everyone doing nothing is doing it. It’s utter nonsense. Supporting arms being sent to ukraine for a war they will never win, what is the final outcome people want here? People need to be realistic, it is terrible, Putin is a disgrace but the reality is that prolonging a war and while asking people to help the refugees it creates is like throwing more petrol than water on the fire.
@John Moloney: John. There are a lot of people like you online and we have Claire and Mick mouthing off about supporting the war against Russia and I am always interested in hearing what exactly they and you are actually proposing. I would really appreciate a genuine reply without resorting to half insults and popular tag lines and tell me what it is you are suggesting the people of Ukraine should have done when Russia invaded. Just tell us what you would do if you were a Ukrainian citizen in ukraine right now and what would you be asking your country’s leaders to do? Genuine question and I will respect your answer whatever it is.
@John Moloney: did ireland lie down and die once the British came? No we didn’t, and neither will the Ukrainians, and as most of them are consistently saying, they will not stop until every Russian soldier is ridden from their country. They’ve asked for weapons to fight back, not to prolong, and we should listen as we would hope for the same good forbid it ever happened to us.
We were neutral on Hitler and neutral on Putin
Things have to change militarily
@John Byrne: neutral with Hilter as a country, yet 100,000 Irish people went to the UK and volunteered
@John Byrne: Are you daft we are not and never will be in a position to be a military power. Neutrality is the most common sense weapon we have. Decades of proper politicians realised this but the shower we have at the moment are only interested in soundbites and being the good little boys of Europe. By all means help in any non military way we can but other than that we are in no position to help militarily
@John Byrne: go over and join the war. Nothing stopping you.
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