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Dulin Tiger Fringe Festival

Opinion 'We Irish deal with things with a sense of humour - even cancer'

The reaction is sometimes to ignore a situation, or keep it private. An attitude which we all know affects the perceptions of depression and mental health, writes Neil Douglas.

I’VE ALWAYS FOUND the message at the end of some TV shows odd. You know the one I mean, the message saying: “If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in tonight’s programme…” and then it gives a number you can call, or a website you can visit.

I find myself wondering what advice they would give you if you did contact them, wondering how affected you have to be to contact them.

I always find it particularly strange when the message follows a programme dealing with illness. Don’t get me wrong, I think that presenting these resources are very useful, I’m not passing judgement in any way. I just find it peculiar, like it suddenly gives what I have just watched a different kind of weight, it suddenly feels more serious, more real.

‘When she was sick though, I felt like I didn’t care’

My mum was diagnosed with cancer when I was 15, she survived and was sick for about a year and a half. Talking about it around the dinner table last week we worked out that it has been seven years, with my youngest sister not even remembering it. Statistically she now has as much chance of developing cancer again as any other person in the population. When she was sick though, I felt like I didn’t care.

My ambivalence ended up affecting my mental health. Manifesting in depression. It has been pointed out to me that when you consider my life so far, cancer and its aftermath has been a fixture for quite a large portion. The truth is I did care, just not in the way you may imagine (you’ll have to come along to the show to discover what I mean by that).

As a teenager I remember seeing performances and being incredibly affected by them. I’ve always been fascinated by the concept of sitting in a dark room, where anything could be about to happen.

When I was in Dublin Youth Theatre a lot of the things I did drew from my own experiences, it gave me an outlet (in the way I think art does) to express, or try to understand things that are difficult.

Express myself

When my mum was sick and off work it gave me an outlet to express how I was feeling, to funnel those thoughts into art. I was in a performance once where I said the line “We didn’t care when our mothers had cancer” in many ways this was kind of the catalyst that led me to want to make a performance discussing cancer.

The reality is that cancer is a frightening topic. I think that trying to find the language to discuss it is difficult. At the same dinner I mentioned earlier, my Dad made the comment that “It is kind of a taboo topic”.

I would be inclined to agree with him in some ways – for example, when I tell people I am making a show about this topic it is more often than not met with a look of surprise.

Part of me though feeling of ‘taboo’ comes from the feeling of not quite knowing how to talk about it. Something that’s obviously not exclusive to cancer, but something that I do think may be an Irish reaction. A reaction of maybe preferring to ignore a situation, or keep it private. An attitude which we all know affects the perceptions of depression and mental health.

Cancer is so often used for entertainment and in the seven years since my mother was diagnosed I’ve watched and read plenty that in some way have their own take on the disease.

No judgement

Again I’m not judging those things or saying they’re wrong for using it as entertainment. I don’t, after all, think in any way that my situation is unique. My mother is not the only person in my life and I am not the only son to have been affected by it.

I did however feel that I couldn’t talk about it, maybe because my experience was so different from what I imagined it would be. Maybe because for all of the “taboo” and choosing to deal with something, we Irish deal with things with an incontrovertible sense of humour. In my family, even when my mother was sick and I was scared, we still made jokes, we had some lightness.

I felt, if my situation was a television programme, it wouldn’t warrant a message at the end, directing someone to a helpful resource. Perhaps because its in our nature to make light of it and move on. In a way that’s what I’m trying to explore with this show. I’m trying to touch something that’s slightly taboo, by mixing the light with the dark.

‘We Didn’t Care When (Our Mothers Had Cancer) is on in Smock Alley Theatre – Black Box from 15-20 September. Tickets are from €11. For more information click here>>

Opinion: I wouldn’t have recognised the signs if my cousin hadn’t been diagnosed with breast cancer>

Read: The HSE’s campaign to protect girls from cervical cancer is working>

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    Mute John003
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:25 AM

    Isreal left Gaza in 2005 all the settlers were moved out….Gaza was going to be the Singapore of the middle East….Instead all the money from EU and Gulf countries is spend by HAMAS on digging tunnels and rockers from Iran to attach Isreal……Their brother Arabs Egypt has cut off all contact closed the border crossings HAMAS are closely linked to Muslim brotherhood……The Catholic charity Troicre denounces the sea and land blockage of Gaza…..However the sea blockage is the stop rockers coming in from Iran….If Isreal lifted the land blockage hundreds of suicide bombers would attach Isreali towns and cities on their way to paradice…

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    Mute vNblxOSQ
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:27 AM

    @John003: hahahaha. Tommy Tiernan couldn’t do better

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    Mute Dave Hogan
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:35 AM

    @John003: the state of Israel was created by banishing the Palestinians using the terrorist Irgun and stern gangs.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 10:11 AM

    @Dave Hogan: Some banishing in 1948….60000 now in Isreal 1.5 million Muslim Arabs….In 1948 all the Arab countries attached Isreal they lost.the war …They is how Isreal was established….

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    Mute William Grogan
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    Jun 17th 2017, 10:40 AM

    @John003: ATTACK!!!

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    Mute Tom Molloy
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    Jun 17th 2017, 12:47 PM

    @John003: Jordan is Arab Palestine since 1948.

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    Mute Siouxsie Dumbtime
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    Jun 17th 2017, 1:51 PM

    @John003: For a Zionist you’d think you’d be able to spell Israel. Also, no rockers have come over from Iran since Iron Maiden played the 3 Arena in Gaza in 1985.

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    Mute Micheal S. O' Ceilleachair
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:19 AM

    Isn’t that strange Israel has blockaded Gaza but Egypt has closed the crossings. To my mind both Israel and Egypt have blockaded Gaza. Also Gaza was part of Egypt before being part of Israel. Maybe Israel should return it to Egypt. The Egyptians never had any respect for the Palestinian people. Israel protects itself. Hamas have made a “hames” of their situation. Like ISIS, Hamas has enslaved its own people. Two million people indoctrinated and docile to the will of extremists.

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    Mute vNblxOSQ
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:26 AM

    @Micheal S. O’ Ceilleachair: Jesus that is the most phucked up read of the gaza debacle I’ve ever read. Are you another of the Christian fanatics that believe the Israelis are the chosen people?

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    Mute Stephen Cumbers
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:44 AM

    @vNblxOSQ: christians don’t believe that. In fact they believe that they superseeded jews ad the chosen people.

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    Mute Each Way Thief
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:40 AM

    Authors of their own misfortune.

    Zero sympathy.

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    Mute Dave Hogan
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:49 AM

    @Each Way Thief: the same argument could be used on the old, sick, homeless and other groups left behind in our rich country

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    Mute Lorem Ipsum
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    Jun 17th 2017, 11:21 AM

    @Dave Hogan: How are the elderly responsible for ageing?

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    Jun 17th 2017, 11:50 AM

    @Lorem Ipsum: does everything have to be broken down and explained simply to twits like yourself.

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    Mute Squarepeg01
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    Jun 17th 2017, 12:57 PM

    @Dave Hogan: are you equating our old and sick anf homeless with terrorists?

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    Mute Honeybadger197
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    Jun 17th 2017, 1:32 PM

    @Squarepeg01: Its easier than holding Hamas to account. They govern Gaza, they’ve funnelled billions in cash to their pointless wars and enriching themselves. Gaza receives the most per capita foreign aid in the world. I’ll never understand why the so called pro-palestinians here don’t appear bothered by the abject failure of Hamas to provide for their own, the record on human rights, civil liberties, etc etc. Still, theres no real angle of attack on Israel here so the outrage will be muted. Palestinian lives only matter when Israel can be blamed.

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    Mute Paul Kelly
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:38 AM

    Gaza , Cuba, North Korea, Iraq

    All sanctions do is punish the poor.

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    Mute Jamie McCormack
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:35 AM

    Punished for choosing democracy.

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    Mute Honeybadger197
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:37 AM

    @Jamie McCormack: When was the last election in Gaza?

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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:39 AM

    @Honeybadger197: It’s hardly a functioning society.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:46 AM

    @Jamie McCormack: Yet Hamas has found the will to ban opposition parties, beat and kill dissenters and you dont seemed bothered.

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    Mute Rowe
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:51 AM

    @Jamie McCormack:

    You can thank Hamas and the PA for that.

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    Mute Jamie McCormack
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    Jun 17th 2017, 7:27 PM

    @Rowe: The people of Gaza, Christian and Muslim alike, would vote for Hamas tomorrow.

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    Mute John O'Leary
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:18 AM

    “Hamas and other militant groups have fought 3 wars with Israel..” From memory Israel just bombed the bejeesus outta the palestinans. Hitting hospitals. Killing civilians indiscriminately. Hardly call it a war

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    Mute Rowe
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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:37 AM

    @John O’Leary:

    The Hamas charter or Covenant plods along these lines…

    The charter states that “our struggle against the Jews is very great and very serious” and calls for the eventual creation of an Islamic state in Palestine, in place of Israel and the Palestinian Territories, and the obliteration or dissolution of Israel. It emphasizes the importance of jihad, stating in article, “There is no solution for the Palestinian question except through Jihad. Initiatives, proposals and international conferences are all a waste of time and vain endeavors.

    Now replace Israel with Ireland.

    Also just yesterday a female Israeli police officer was murdered by Palestinian terrorists claiming to represent Islamic State, though Hamas, another Islamic terrorist group deny this claiming it was them. So basically terrorists disputing who commited the evil deed…http://in.reuters.com/article/israel-palestinians-idINKBN19805W

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    Mute John O'Leary
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    Jun 17th 2017, 10:13 AM

    @Rowe: I don’t know about that now Mr. Rowe. 100 years of genocide, mass evictions and sanctions has driven the people to retaliate. It has nothing to do with extremist or jihadist religious beliefs. Its a share of the spoils. Material goods. Land. Civil rights. Zionists moved in there at the start of the 20th century and for one hundred years, stole the land, slaughtered at will and branded you an extremist if you fought back. Its still going on today. And lets be honest about it. The world turned a blind eye because of what hitler did.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 10:29 AM

    @John O’Leary:

    The Genocide argument falls flat on its arse, the population of Gaza has grown year on year, do you not understand what genoicide means?
    Jews have been in the Levant for over 3000 and have lived there under various empires and at no time in history has there been an independent State of Palestine, there has been a Roman Provence of Palestina but Jews live there.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 11:20 AM

    @Rowe: If I went in and killed the lad next door and told his kids to f___ off up to Offaly and to stay there. Would they hate me because of my western ideologies? or would they hate me cause i killed their auld lad and sent them to Offaly? Its disgusting what’s been going on out there. Where were the peace keepers? Why didn’t they step in and put a to stop Israel’s murderous march? Nobody is born hateful.

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    Mute Lorem Ipsum
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    Jun 17th 2017, 11:23 AM

    @John O’Leary: You’re calling for a UN invasion of Israel/Palestine?

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    Mute Rowe
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    Jun 17th 2017, 11:33 AM

    @John O’Leary:

    True, nobody is born hateful, so again refer you to the Hamas Charter or any the Islamic terrorists groups Charter regarding Jews, Christians or any non Muslim..it’s called the Koran.
    Murderous march? As far as I am aware Israel is surrounded on all sides bar the Med by countries that wish it did not exist or wish to be wiped of the face of the Earth, that’s called genocide and ethnic cleansing.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 11:34 AM

    @Rowe:
    *years

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    Mute Squarepeg01
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    Jun 17th 2017, 1:01 PM

    @Rowe: these Palestinian apologists won’t address any of the points you raise. They just fall back on sanctimony.

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    Mute John O'Leary
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    Jun 17th 2017, 1:01 PM

    @Rowe: Decisions should never be based on fear of another people. The Conflict in the middle east should be analysed on what has actually happened out there. And what has happened is this. A state was set up in 1948 to accommodate one group of people. Shed loads of people from another group were murdered and terrorized to achieve this. Land was given to group and civil rights were denied to the another. Forget about all this horse shite about the Bible, the Koran and what ever book Jewish people read. They’re just a front used to connect people in their struggle to achieve a common, material goal.

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    Mute Squarepeg01
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    Jun 17th 2017, 1:07 PM

    @John O’Leary: what are you talking about? 20% of Israel’s population is Arab and most of those are Muslim. Why don’t you ask them if they would rather be part of a Palestinian state? They can and do become judges on the Supreme Court, they can and do serve in the IDF, they can and do get elected to the Knesset. Think Jews have similar rights in most other ME countries?

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    Mute Rowe
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    Jun 17th 2017, 1:18 PM

    @John O’Leary:

    But the Bible, Koran and Torah are relevant in this case, just because you think it is not doesn’t make it so, two of these major religions that billions follow rose in this very area, and you ignorance of not knowing the name of the book the Jews look to shows your blinkered Western view. Five times since 48 the PA were offered peace by Israel and a country to call their own and 5 times the PA rejected it, can you explain? To me it seems the PA care more for the destruction of Israel than the notion of an independent Palestine of their own.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=76NytvQAIs0

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    Jun 17th 2017, 1:27 PM

    @Rowe: What would you propose?

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    Mute Honeybadger197
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    Jun 17th 2017, 1:36 PM

    @John O’Leary: Can i propose you address the points made? You haven’t managed it yet.

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    Mute Squarepeg01
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    Jun 17th 2017, 1:51 PM

    @John O’Leary: the 2-state solution is dead. The last 20 or so years have shown that. RIP. But Caroline Glick has exposed the myth of the Palestinians outbreeding the Jews and has put forward a 1 state solution as an alternative, where Israel just annexes Judea and Samaria aka the West Bank. If the political climate is right, it would not surprise me if they tried it. Then everyone in greater Israel would have the same freedoms and rights that current citizens enjoy. The security situation would be a nightmare though.

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    Mute Rowe
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    Jun 17th 2017, 2:08 PM

    @John O’Leary:

    I’m afraid with terrorist orgs Hamas and Fatah involved, true peace has no hope.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 2:17 PM

    @Squarepeg01: I’d agree in that a one state solution is probably the only way forward but way to much has happened to ask one nation to stand under the flag of the other. An entirely new state. New name-New Flag-No Muslims-No Jews. Do away with religious practice altogether and move forward.

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    Mute Rowe
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    Jun 17th 2017, 2:38 PM

    @Squarepeg01:

    Spot on.
    Here is the highest ranking Muslim in the IDF.

    https://davidsoakell.files.wordpress.com/2017/03/cv1rvtiw8aafkxp.jpg?w=600&h=418

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    Mute Avina Laaf
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    Jun 17th 2017, 11:01 AM

    A lot of morons on here seemingly supporting Hamas because it’s the ‘cool’ thing to do.
    You don’t have to choose between Israel and Hamas – you can be critical of both.

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    Mute Andy K
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    Jun 17th 2017, 3:13 PM

    @Avina Laaf: Firstly: Its more like supporting the underdog. If a group of guys are beating up one person do you choose no side? Most would take the side of the individual. It is the same situation here.

    Secondly: Hamas is a product of over 50 years of opression by Israel. It is comparable to the IRA (back in 1916, not the 90s). They fought for independence and against opression by a much larger and more powerful nation. It may not be the right footsteps to follow, but you can see where it comes from.
    I guess we Irish feel a deeper connection to their struggle than most.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 3:19 PM

    @Andy K:
    Identifying with oppressed Palestinians is one thing – identifying with Hamas is another thing altogether.
    Forget your romantic notions, the reality is that Hamas have also played a huge part in oppressing ordinary Palestinians.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 3:35 PM

    @Avina Laaf: So what would you do if your family was bombed by Israel, and the medical supplies required to save them was not available thanks to the embargo by Israel?

    Would you go back to your day job?

    What if you lived in a place for generations and then Israel came by and forced you out of your home so that they can build a settlement there?

    Would you happily live in a tent for years to come?

    Extremists dont jump out of holes of the ground, they require opression and continuous violence applied to them and their community in order to exist. You get the odd madman everywhere but people dont listen to them unless their lives have been literally destroyed by others.

    Bombing them again will only result in greater support for their cause. And condemning them without placing blame on the people that made it possible for them to exist is about as ignorant as it gets.

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    Mute Honeybadger197
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    Jun 17th 2017, 3:56 PM

    @Andy K: Have you an opinion on how they treat their own people?

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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:03 PM

    @Andy K:
    You seem to be completely ignorant about how Hamas operate, and how they treat fellow Palestinians. Potential political rivals get thrown from rooftops (as do homosexuals), they refuse i give Palestinian people the opportunity for self-determination by holding elections, and Hamas officials live in luxury while ordinary Palestinians starve.
    Criticize Israel by all means, but don’t be one of the morons I mentioned by thinking that if you oppose Israel (which you clearly do) it means you have to support Hamas.
    Hamas are Islamic State Light.

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    Mute Richard Keogh
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    Jun 17th 2017, 5:05 PM

    Funny how the Gaza described above sounds nothing like the Gaza shown in the Hamas promotional video https://youtu.be/zeRlfcLAUII

    The only reason electricity is being cut is because of a power struggle between the PA and Hamas with the PA refusing to pay, this one can’t be blamed on Israel though the usual suspects will try http://www.timesofisrael.com/energy-minister-refuses-to-cut-further-electricity-to-gaza/

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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:11 AM

    What a player though

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    Mute Keith Fay
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    Jun 17th 2017, 12:15 PM

    “Hamas – labelled a terrorist organisation by Israel, the United States and the European Union.” … but not by the journal? Hamas are a disgusting terrorist organisation that has used the civilians of gaza as human shields.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 3:21 PM

    @Keith Fay: And Israel built a gigantic wall around their land so that they may not get medical aid to the people, they stop shipments of construction materials to rebuild bombed buildings and claim it was a shipment of weapons for Hamas, they limit food and to top it off, blow up schools, hospitals and designated UN safe places.

    Care to explain why any of that is justified?

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    Jun 17th 2017, 5:30 PM

    @Andy K: I remember the news in the 80s. Every second week “another bus bomb in tel aviv” all the time. They built that wall and those bombs stopped. They also share an 18km border with egypt that is never criticised. Anyway, hamas spend all their money on concrete for tunnels. I have witnessed truck after truck full of concrete enter gaza to be used for tunnels. Hamas are a disgusting shower of inhumans that throw lgbt people off tall buildings and prevent civilians leaving when there are attacks.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 5:31 PM

    @Andy K: seriously how can you support hamas? You people are so messed up. Even the civilians in gaza dont support them but they are under their rule.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 10:20 PM

    @Andy K:

    Hamas store their rockets in said schools and hospitals like true cowards, the wall was built to prevent suicide

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    Jun 17th 2017, 10:23 PM

    ….. attacks by vehicles and high enough to prevent the bullets of snipers.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 9:06 AM

    That’s a civil war waiting to happen.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 10:54 AM

    @Honeybadger197:
    It already happened a few short years ago – it was just limited by lack of weaponry.

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    Mute David Meehan
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    Jun 17th 2017, 11:43 AM

    A sad and desperate situation for the ordinary people of Gaza. Islamist such as Hamas, Palestestain Islamic Jihad has brought terrible death and destruction most notably through suicide bombings and rocket attacks. They run Gaza with an iron and unforgiving fist. They have hounded out and killed their political opposition Fatah, and teach hatred and intolerance of Jews, Women and LGBT. A once thriving place which is now another hell-hole ruined by extremists.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 3:23 PM

    @David Meehan: Technically it was ruined by the opression of Israel which created the extremists in the first place.

    Sadly not many people see the larger picture….

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    Jun 19th 2017, 1:19 PM

    @Andy K: Technically you’re talking horse crap.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 5:04 PM

    Wow what a disgrace of an article, full of misinformation. Now maybe I’m wrong but as far as I’m aware Hamas was somewhat democratically elected by the people in Gaza according to multiple international watchdogs. Secondly as far as I’m aware Hamas was removed from the the terrorist list, then formed a unity government with the PA. Also as far as I’m aware, a pre condition to peace talks imposed by Israel was that they would not have talks or negotiate with Hamas as they were a “terrorist organization”. Having been removed from the terrorist list Israel still would not negotiate. Now I could be and am open to being wrong if someone would care to clarify.

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    Jun 17th 2017, 6:33 PM

    @Gazza Lazza: Yes, 2006 was the last election in Gaza. They’ve outlawed political parties and hammered dissent from their own people since. Yes, they formed a unity government with the Palestinian Authority (2006) but promptly started murdering Fatah members to oust them completely from Gaza (shootings and thrown off buildings). Hamas are still on the terror list. The EU Court only issued a non binding opinion – they are on the list as of January of this year.

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