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IS THERE REALLY any harm in taking a picture of yourself and putting it online? Or are we all rapidly becoming a new generation of narcissists?
As far as fads go, the selfie has transcended most. The term ‘selfie’ even made its way into the Oxford English Dictionary as the word of the year in 2013.
And in 2014, the popularity of selfies only grew. From charity campaigns to Kim Kardashian-West going as far as to make a selfie book for her husband, there is no denying the power of the selfie reign.
But was this craze just the next step on our path as a society of narcissists?
Up until the introduction of social media, the media we knew focused more on fictional worlds and societies like those of sitcoms and soap operas. Sure, some may have been based around or inspired by real-life but even Jerry Seinfeld fictionalised himself.
Then along came the reality TV boom in the 90′s. This made common viewers potential ‘stars’ in their own right and thus, our societal transformation from consumer to consumable was almost complete.
Social media was the final nail in the coffin for our humility in a lot of ways. From the very first site to now, these companies have been playing on our love of self-promotion and exhibitionism as they willingly turned us into the consumable products we are today.
MySpace fed the dreams of aspiring musicians in the same way Tumblr and WordPress brought out the creativity and writers inside us all. Facebook replaced our phone books and diaries, while YouTube gave us our own TV channel.
Twitter meant we could literally put our thoughts in the cloud as quick as they drop into our brain and express our undeniably valid opinions while LinkedIn gave us the ultimate tool for self-promotion.
Tinder takes that self-endorsement to a whole new level of egotistical while Snapchat has given society the ultimate tool for some friendly, transient sexting.
Instagram has arguably given us the entire stage. We can promote shamelessly on Instagram to our hearts content and here, it is applauded and even encouraged.
Common folk on Instagram can quickly have as many ‘followers’ as the celebrities we stalk, if you adhere to the levels of grandiose exhibitionism required.
This level playing field is a potential danger though. The difference between celebrities on Instagram and a common user, despite maybe having the same or more followers, is their level of success and the work they put in to achieve it.
Instagram is simply an outlet to most users but to some, they see it as a path. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing but it becomes dangerous when it is treated as the only path and hard work and graft get ruled out.
Nothing is more detrimental to yourself and to society than a sense of entitlement combined with little or no work ethic.
Obviously, not everyone who uses Instagram, or posts selfies, falls into this category but this type of shameless self-promotion and sense of unrealistic entitlement is certainly on the rise.
In fact, our narcissistic behaviour has been on the rise for decades. And interestingly, our patterns of association with others have evolved since the advent of Facebook and Twitter, showing a decline in our empathy and selflessness towards others.
So, we are becoming less bothered about others and their general well-being, but we are very bothered about their opinions of us.
TheJournal.ie spoke to Dubliner Lauren Bejaoui, who is rapidly becoming one of Ireland’s most prolific users of Instagram.
Using Instagram for three years now, Lauren has built up a following of over 14,000 people and posted almost 5,000 pictures, a lot of which are selfies. Speaking about her Instagram usage Lauren said:
I kind of dabble between just posting selfies or just posting inspirational imagery. It really depends on my mood. I think habit compels me to post them and expectation too!
Lauren is known for her fashion and beauty posts on Instagram and on her Tumblr page, which is equally as popular. Some of these posts are quite risque in nature, albeit for artistic value, and Lauren explained that she has never been worried for herself about having these types of images online:
…other people do the worrying for me. I’ve always been in touch with myself, especially physically. Being myself and open in general has worked for me and I’d recommend it to anyone. As of now its strengthening my long term goals.
Lauren has reaped many rewards from posting so openly on Instagram. Landing herself modelling jobs and bagging some great freebies, she explained how easy self-promotion on Instagram is:
It’s quite easy to accumulate an organic following especially with the use of selfies. Its basically self promotion, you’re selling yourself to companies based on how you look and what you ooze aesthetically.
“Its kind of crazy. It really got me noticed by the likes of American Apparel which has lead to a growing business relationship with the brand.”
It’s not all freebies and modelling jobs though, Lauren has experienced the dark side to the internet and the wrath of the many trolls that live in cyberspace.
I’ve had girls threaten to pour boiling water over my face. That was terrifying and I hid from the internet for some time. That was my worst experience so far.
“I used to have to remind myself that it didn’t matter because these people don’t exist in my physical world. Now, I just ignore anything I don’t like and I block any Instagram accounts that give me hassle.”
At 19, having essentially grown up in a generation who live their lives so openly on social media, Lauren says she has learned to see the benefits of keeping some things to herself over the years:
I don’t post as many revealing pictures as I used to, purely because I am only starting to enjoy the rewards of keeping that part of me private again. It’s all about finding a healthy balance.
Balance really is key and it is a fine line when it comes to these types of posts. The fact that the dictionary definition specifies sharing these images on social media is reflective of the type of thinking they so widely induce.
According to Psychiatrist Dr. David Veale of The Priory Hospital North London:
Two out of three of all the patients who come to see me with Body Dysmorphic Disorder since the rise of camera phones have a compulsion to repeatedly take and post selfies on social media sites.
“Cognitive behavioural therapy is used to help a patient to recognise the reasons for his or her compulsive behaviour and then to learn how to moderate it,” he told the Sunday Mirror.
Lauren spoke openly about her experiences of self-consciousness as a direct result of social media:
…I went through a stage of being desperate to please everyone and I became a self-conscious shell of myself. There was a pressure to be absolutely perfect, a pressure I put on myself via the internet. Thankfully, I got myself out of that hole and began to understand that being perfect is just not possible and Instagram became a healthy hobby once again.
Speaking to Zak Powers, Dublin based Psychotherapist, he spoke of the fine line between these photos being a help and a hindrance:
There is no doubt that there is an increase in the number of young adults who present themselves at my clinic for therapy relating to distorted body image.
The selfie onto itself is harmless. But when you attach it to all the other social media elements, that can lead to self-criticism among the emotionally vulnerable and I feel you are dealing with yet another potentially harmful social tool.
Needless to say, most Instagram users and people who post selfies are definitely not narcissists. But outlets like Instagram and social media sites can be to narcissists what alcohol is to an alcoholic.
It has been scientifically proven that the amount of status updates, the number of followers and friends, check-ins and posts on social media have a direct relation to people’s levels of narcissism.
A narcissist is much more likely to take advantage of social media outlets as a way to showcase a desirable but unrealistic image of themselves and their lifestyle. Social media channels fulfill their needs and allow them to broadcast their life shamelessly to an audience of virtual friends and followers.
But of course, we do all need some approval. Mr. Powers added:
We all want to feel that we matter. We all want to feel that we are valid. And as humans, every one of us are beautifully flawed. At some level we all struggle with validation and feeling good enough.It has been said that when we are 20 years old we worry about what others think of us. When we are 40 we don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of us. And when we are 60, we realise that nobody has been thinking of us at all.We all think about ourselves and that’s fine, as long as we are balanced in our self-acceptance and our self-criticism.
It’s really only when this goes beyond normal levels and becomes a never-ending quest for approval that it is an issue. This type of behaviour can affect a persons career, friendships, relationships and line of thinking.
Ultimately, all of our social media activity could stem from a need for approval or act as a cover-up for dwindling self-esteem. Albeit, the current set-up of these outlets allows this type of behaviour to be championed and reinforced at an astronomical level which is what causes the narcissistic tendencies and delusions to grow.
There are already countless examples of how living our lives online has benefited us in the form of social data being used for social good. But is there anything to be said for an algorithm that could be built into our social media pages, alerting us to our increasing levels of self-promotion?
Or have we simply gone too far?
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The worst is ppl saying they’re self conscious and then posting a close up of their face.
It’s cringeworthy stuff looking at how self obsessed society has gone with the selfie era, and sadly, it’s becoming more vacuous by the day..
We’ve always been self-obsessed, modern technology just makes our self-obsession more obvious to others.
I really, really despair for the selfie generation, but good lord, that was a poorly written article. Pick a voice and a tense and stick to it!
You think a photo of your cacks is “inspirational imagery?”
Reality tv, social media, selfies! What did we do before we had these? Oh yeah, we had actual lives, not virtual ones.
Selfies no new thing to us.
We used do em all time back in the 80′s when we were at gigs to get our mugs in the same frame as the artist.
More so when there were only a few snaps left on your film, we’d use em up with Selfies.
We were mad.
Course we waited 3 days for the prints to be developed.
Who cares actually,, if ppl want to take a picture of themselves let them, I you don’t want to….. Don’t!!!! Sure did Van Gogh off not paint pictures of himself!?! #pelfie (painted selfie)
#pelfie. word of the day! Now that’s a talent!
Selfies in the U.S. are turning people to plastic surgery because they think that the distorted image of themselves is really how they look. It also creates pressure on teens to keep on posting images of themselves which they think is normal even to dirty old pervs who are acting as 20 year old girls online?
It has become a contest like everything people do especially when they try to prove how sexy they are, is it to be part of the right group or are they lonely and that is why they do it?
Some even do things with selfies that would make porn stars blush lol.
Or is it all really about fame?
To finish off….. Mary down the road takes a selfie, feels good about it, puts it online and her friends sad she looks great! Mary isint a picture of perfection but that image o her helps her think she is! Mary feels good about herself and more confident too!!!!!
Mary shouldn stop taking selfies because others think she should!! Because others think the only photos she’s allowed take are the ones of her standing awkwardly beside her prettier friends!!!
Give it a break ppl!!!! If it makes one person feel better, it’s worth a million selfies!
@Christopher; I agree, but I think it’s unfortunate that Mary can only start to feel good about herself when other people approve of her selfie by giving it a thumbs up or whatever. It’s probably the numerous selfies posted by other people that get in on her and contribute to her insecurity and lack of self worth in the first place.
Not that I don’t agree with your idea that her self loathing doesn’t come from selfies but the root is not the issue I’m afraid!!! It’s the act now!!! It’s the society we live!!!! I just think if the act now helps even the most u confident feel good, why not!!!!
@Christopher; Hey, I’ve a live and let live attitude, and if brings her out of depression and motivates her etc., then all the better. The whole selfie thing though just isn’t for me and I personally think it’s kind of shallow and don’t think it’s good for young people to be glued to Instagram/Facebook all day like some sort of zombie waiting for their existence to be validated by someone telling them how great they look in selfie no. 3678.
I don’t see why it’s a problem at all. If you want to post a selfie where you look good, do it! I don’t see why people should feel bad about thinking that they look good.
Says herselfie!
I have a neighbour with the “perfect life”.. I cant help but be envious.
When she posts pics on fb there is never a hair out of place. She always manages to share pics of her “pre night out” drinks party every Sat night with her “soulmate” husband and her bessie mates. The visit to Santa Claus, the Christmas Dinner table, the turkey, her dinner plate full of turkey, dessert, the Christmas tree. We got the hen party, the Wedding Album. The stick she piddled on to say she was pregnant, the baby scans, the baby, his first tooth, his first bowl of porridge, the first step etc etc etc
Is there nothing private anymore?
I’m not at all surprised by the down votes. Self obsession and narcissism are words that are thrown around that I don’t necessarily agree with. Is it so wrong that women (and men too) are confident? Is it so wrong that someone put a picture up of themselves on a good day? People are unnecessarily angry over something that we should feel positive about. If a person feels enough confidence to put up a picture of themselves, and people like the picture, what harm can it do? If it makes them feel better, what is wrong with that? Lots of negativity and very pointed feelings against something that I can see as quite a positive thing.
Sinead, if it bothers you so much, there is a great little function on fb where you can unsubscribe to peoples posts. But then you’d have nothing to complain about, I suppose.
Then bloody unfriend her. Also NOONE posts the bad shite like the turkey burnt or the fight her and the hubby have or the baby that screaming its head off at 3am. No Ones life is what their social presence claims, it’s just the best bits.
@Lola; I’m 22 yrs old, bursting with confidence but don’t even have a Facebook account (excluding this fake one I use to post on the journal). I have real life friends, but probably not the thousands that people are said to have on Facebook. I don’t like selfies because they perpetuate the “because you’re worth it” attitude and promote self obsession. Once in a blue moon if you’re beside some historical monument or natural wonder or something then maybe that’s alright. However the Facebook/Instagram selfieholics remind me of the guy in the gym that’s constantly gawking at himself in the mirror.
Ah no. No need to unfriend her. She is a nice girl.
I just do not understand the need to share your private life with the world. Some peoples FB page is like Hello Magazine. FB should be fun but its a big PR exercise to some people. You’d have to wonder why do they do it.
She probably cries herself to sleep.
I like your positivity Lola. I don’t understand all the hate/thumbs down. People need to stop putting each other down.
It’s fine to post selfies when you feel good about yourself, it’s rare to see a selfie with a caption that actually shows that the person is confident about how they look. I hardly ever take “serious” selfies because I can never “get it right”. I’m always thrilled to see people I know genuinely feeling good about themselves and liking how they look on any given day (or every day!). But, if you decide to post six or seven selfies in the space of fifteen minutes, just what are you trying to say? You’re feeling confident? Great! You like your outfit/makeup? Fantastic! You want everyone to see your face over and over again? Why?!
I dont think people post selfies because they are confident – I think its because they are insecure! They need the “likes” and they only post perfect selfies. Its not the healthiest way of gaining self esteem. Self esteem should come from being altruistic and doing good deeds – not from constant self promotion.
Ah sinead do you not wonder why that lass feels the need to share so much? I have a fb account but am very cautious abt what I post – I don’t want to portray a perfect life because my life isn’t perfect, I wouldn’t want anyone feeling worse about their lot in life just because I’ve had a great day or have tweaked a picture to my ideal. Unfortunately I find fb is a lot of half truths dressed up as ‘the wonder of me story’..& yeah lola you have some good points..people should feel proud of a nice pic etc but humans are more than the outward portrayal and allowing yourself to be judged by pictures is undermining all the other positives that don’t show.
Mrs b.. I agree with you… And Lola does make sense in a way with her positive outlook.. But i see my 13 and 14 yr old cousins too taking selfies in a mirror wearing next to nothing.. Are they waiting for x amount of likes to feel good? What if accidentally no one spots the pic? Will it upset them. They shouldnt be on FB at that age anyway.
My teenage years in the 80′s were filled with lack of confidence. So much more pressure on the teenagers these days with FB. Its gone crazy…
I believe it’s the pursuit of constant self affirmation. Some people are relentless and sometimes I have to admit they can drive me up the wall.
On calm reflection I understand that maybe this is what this person needs to feel good about themselves etc etc. but I think ultimately it’s a fruitless medium to enhance your self esteem.
I have difficulty with people who are constantly posting selfies with their toddlers and ‘spontaneous’ shots which you know are anything but. It troubles me that they have created an indelible digital footprint for their children before the child can choose how they want to present themselves to the world.
I’m not sure it warrants this ahem indepth investigation. Selfies are not going to go away unless something better comes along. Selfies and social media lives are just the pretend. Everyone understands that they are all part of the game and if they are not they soon will be. Let’s wait to see what happens as the Selfie generation grows up.I’ve never taken a Selfie but am very used to and ok with everyone’s else’s. As long as they expect me to believe that it’s a natural pic or reality
I’m 31 , So glad I grew up at time when we had a bit of self respect ,knew how to enjoy ourselves , so many sad shallow insecure girls out there, get of yere phones.
Selfies are embarrassing
people are waaaay too self absorbed these days – they haven’t a clue about what really matters in life…. like having good health,, 4 limbs that work, eyesight, a home to live in etc etc. We obsess over what angle a photo should be taken from and the best pose to make us look good, day in day out…….people need to stand back and really think about how self absobed that is … not good :-(
Should it not be selfies are revealing the narcissist in those who take them?
I have to say, I love the Justin Bieber one in the top right corner. As an archer I can tell the following:
1. Bow is kinked to the side, wherever his aim is, the arrow won’t go anywhere near it.
2. His arm is at completely the wrong angle, not using the correct muscles, if the arrow even leaves the bow it is most likely to land on his foot. Completely inappropriate shooting posture.
3. Due to incorrect posture his head is drooped onto his arm, so he is not even aiming at whatever he thinks he is aiming at properly
With all of the above, he is more likely to hit himself than whatever he thinks he is aiming at. He is definitely setting himself up for a slap of bowstring to the arm (assuming there is a string there, I cannot see it and it even looks like the bow is made of lego).
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