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LOTS OF SERIOUS things happen in Leinster House and the political world, but there is also a lot of daft stuff that goes on every week.
With that in mind it’s important to remember that when they’re not deciding and voting on important pieces of legislation or debating matters of State our politicians are up to all sorts, some of it good, some of it bad, some of it just kind of silly.
So here are our not-so-serious political awards for 2014…
The ‘Lost the Complete Run of Ourselves’ Award
Remember when the whole country was convulsed by the Garth Brooks saga? That extended into Leinster House and we had bizarre and unprecedented tweets like this…
The ‘Stand-off of the Year’ Award
No doubts about this one as Mary Lou McDonald’s four-hour Dáil sit-in saw her refuse to leave the Dáil with the Ceann Comhairle refusing to continue the day’s business.
The ‘Accidentally Posing Beside an Object You Shouldn’t Pose Beside’ award
Spliffs are stealthy. One minute there’s none around. The next? There’s a giant one RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOUR FACE.
Winning this accolade will surely come second only to taking over the Labour leadership when Tánaiste Joan Burton reflects on her highlights of 2014.
The ‘That’s Not a Graph, THIS is a Graph’ award
A Twitter spat between Fine Gael TD Alan Farrell and a voter got graph-ic (sorry) last month. David Kenny described a graph posted by Farrell to highlight falling unemployment as “nonsense”. Farrell responded by calling Kenny a “moron”.
Kenny then made his own graph:
The ‘Na na na na na na, I’m not listening to you’ award
Children’s Minister James Reilly won this hands down for choosing headphones over Richard Boyd Barrett when debating the Budget.
The ‘Compliment of the Year’ Award
Former Fine Gael strategist Frank Flannery was full of praise for Health Minister Leo Varadkar, describing him as ‘tall and good-looking with a certain exotic feel’.
The ‘Best Use of the Word Anti-Christ’ award
Michael Healy-Rae had some choice words for whoever cut down the cross at the summit of Carrauntoohil.
The ‘Wedding Crasher of the Year’ award
The Taoiseach, em, made a bride’s day while out canvassing in Carlow.
We always knew Enda Kenny had a bit of Owen Wilson about him.
The ‘Best Promotion of Recycling’ Award
This one goes to Anti-Austerity Alliance TD Paul Murphy, for tearing up his Irish Water registration form in the Dáil.
The ‘Least Expected BFFs’ award
Kiss frontman Gene Simmons rocked up to the Dáil earlier this month. Because he’s good friends with Fine Gael Deputy Pat Breen. Duh.
Sadly, Simmons is not in the running to be a celebrity candidate for the party. Opportunity lost.
The ‘Best Post-Election’ Speech
New MEP Luke ‘Ming’ Flanagan kept it short and sweet.
The ‘Worst Comparison of the Year’ award
Fine Gael TD Noel Coonan warned that the country faced “an ISIS situation” if the more extreme elements of water charge protests were not “nipped in the bud”. *facepalm*
He later withdrew the comments.
The ‘Mick Wallace Sartorial Elegance’ Award
For the second year in a row the independent TD comfortably wins this one.
The ‘Having a Great Time in My New Job’ Award
Former Environment Minister Phil Hogan got to leave his water woes behind when he took up the position of EU Agriculture Commissioner. He’s been having great fun in Brussels ever since.
The ‘Best Throwback to the 1980s’ Award
Anti-Austerity Alliance TD Ruth Coppinger revealed her nostalgic TV preferences when describing Government ministers promoting the new water charges package as being “like Del Boy trying to sell discounted goods from the back of a truck”.
The ‘Technology Fail’ Award
Fine Gael’s Andrew Doyle tweeted that he was attempting to download the ‘Do They Know It’s Christmas’ charity single … before it was recorded. He meant well.
The ‘Worst Spelling Mistake’ Award
The Department of Transport got Green party councillor Roderic O’Gorman’s name hopelessly wrong. The incorrect moniker has a nice ring to it, though.
The ‘Letting Off Steam’ Award
Fine Gael Councillor Kenneth Egan was the only real contender for the title here. (Did you see what we did there? You did? Brilliant.)
The ‘Hamlet Award for Indecision’
This prize is shared equally between former Fine Gaeler Lucinda Creighton and Independent Shane Ross. Will there be a Reform Alliance party? An alliance of Independents? Anything? Nothing? Oh right.
With contribution from Hugh O’Connell
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Wow, I’m amazed at the fact that people still use teletext!
Probably still have a black multi channel box too.Equipped with channel 18.
I’m amazed that teletext is still on ! I don’t think my telly has it
If it’s a low tech checking system that works then I am going to check all future lotto results by telegram and if that doesn’t work by carrier pigeon.
That’s Meath for you. Soda Streams are expected to be huge next year
Saturday Night Fever now premiering at the Navan Palace Picture House.
They can even splash out on an internet connection now. I thought teletext ceased to be about 10 years ago, or 5 years from now in Meath local time.
Bamboozle!!!!!
Wow Teletext?! That takes me back…
I didn’t know it was still a thing.
What’s teletext?!
Prepare to have your mind blown.
Neal…lol moment, thanks
They are going to upgrade their Betamax video recorder to a brand new VHS.
I think some people say they are in a syndicate so they can avoid giving gift tax. I wonder if the other person in the syndicate is a family member. I bet they’re siblings.
Just remember if you ever win the lotto tell them you’re in a syndicate with family members if you intend to share the money with them.
Avoid *paying
Im pretty sure its called aertel. Teletext i think is the bbc version. I often use aertel. Always check lotto numbers there. Maybe a good omen.
Ceefax on the BBC
Aertel is the name of the RTE’s teletext service. Ceefax was the BBC’s teletext service.
Ah yes thats it.
Not only are they selling the winning lotto tickets there diesel seems be the cheapest in Ireland!!!!
Their petrol deal looks even better!
Can you not leave me alone Conn, From your abusive messages to you trying to rob my JOKES. You are just a mean person in General.
haha that is actually pretty funny….
I defy anyone to stay angry after the panda defense ;) but to actually address your message there… this is only the 2nd article i’ve seen your name on and I went pretty easy on you in the other one, considering what you were saying. I probably should have taken you down another peg or two. You were mockin’ my pic in the last one. That’s fair enough. I would’ve thought Leprechauns and Oompa Loompas should probably stick together though!
Firstly CONN. I did not bring up anything about your picture nor did i disrespect the way you look or the way you dress. If you want to make a mockery of your disability by giving other people abuse by all means go for it but Karma will bite you in the ass!! Secondly I was stating what i thought about the water charges and you yet again mocked me to the point i felt i was on my own in the world with no one who supported me. YOU MADE ME FEEL REALLY SMALL ABOUT MYSELF!!!!
Yet again?? That was the very first time we ‘met’! You’re a bit mad, really, aren’t ya? No offence like… ya seem like you’re probably a nice lad n’ all, but, just possibly not the brightest light in the harbour? A few fries short of a Happy Meal? Elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor? An intellect rivalled only by garden tools? One twist short of a slinky? Battery not fully charged? A few tacos short of a fiesta platter? Antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels? Forgot to pay the Brain Bill? Receiver off the hook? No grain in the silo? A leak in the skylight? A few shades beyond blonde? A few Bradys short of a bunch? A few burgers short of a barbecue? A few colors short of a rainbow? Well, ya see where I’m going with this.
Also… please don’t call me disabled. People on here will think I’m a “welfare sponger” and thus not entitled to an opinion.
You are unreal Conn. It’s seems like you resorted to the internet to come back at me. It goes to show what type of man you really are. A FAKE.
All articles relating to lotto wins are the same! “I just couldn’t believe my eyes!!” Goway! Tell me more please! Who did you phone first? Will you pay off the mortgage first or what?
Yeah they should really mix it up a bit. “Congratulations, you’ve just won €10m and ensured the financial security of your family. How do you feel the current impasse in Israeli/Palestinian peace talks can be overcome?” What do you expect them to be talking about after winning the lotto other than how happy they are to have won the lotto?
Still shouldn’t pay the water charge
What a win…well done to them. I hope it brings them much joy as I am sure it will.
Of course I am envious. I do not deny it.
I wish them much enjoyment now they know they are safe from much as there is no doubt living does cost. Lovely to have a security cushion for your family. Enjoy!
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