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Opinion A simple act of kindness could help someone feeling alone at this time of year

Spare a thought for those who will be on their own over the holiday period – this can be one of the worst times of the year.

AS YOU GET ready for the festive season and all the celebrations, reunions and parties that Christmas entails, spare a thought for those people who will be on their own over the holiday period. For the elderly or people who live in rural areas, this can be one of the worst times of the year.

It’s true that people suffer from loneliness all year round, but at Christmas time their feelings can get much worse and the problem is exacerbated because for most people it is a time of happiness, reunions and celebration.

In many cases, these people are your neighbours, relatives or colleagues. No one has to look too far in their community to find someone who is lonely and in need of human contact. According to figures from Alone, a charity that works with the elderly and the vulnerable, there are approximately 170,000 elderly people living on their own in Ireland.

Given that there is a clear link between loneliness and depression, it is not surprising that the Christmas period leads to an increase in people experiencing anxieties or feeling depressed.

Simple acts of kindness

How can we as a society help this group of marginalised people? The answer is simple: during the festive season we should extend our feelings of goodwill to those who live on their own or who feel isolated. Simple acts of kindness, such as calling in for a short chat and a cup of tea to a neighbour or friend, can make an immense difference if they suffering from loneliness or feeling isolated.

Call around to your neighbour’s house, especially in the evenings, and check if they need any help with small chores like getting fuel for the fire or making a cup of tea.

If you are aware of someone that is spending a lot of time alone, consider inviting them over for a chat, for dinner or to share in a family event as they may be too shy to ask. This kind of interaction can make all the difference to anyone who has to spend the long winter nights on their own.

It’s also important for people who experience loneliness not to isolate themselves and accept invitations from their family and friends to attend events.

They should also consider joining a local group or volunteering for a charity. This will get them out of the house and into contact with like-minded people. Volunteering for a charity will also make the participant feel good about helping others.

Make a plan to do something you enjoy

It’s also important for people who live on their own to remain in good health. They should take regular exercise, eat well and get as much fresh air and daylight as possible, all of which will help to improve a person’s mood and outlook.

If being alone is unavoidable at Christmas, then make a plan to do things that you enjoy – such as walking, watching movies or eating your favourite meal.

Most importantly don’t suffer in silence or bottle up your feelings during Christmas. Talk about your feelings to family or friends or consider contacting a professional such as a counsellor or psychotherapist.

Sharing these feelings is the first step to better mental health. Along with simple acts of kindness, it can go a long way to ending the affliction of loneliness this Christmas.

Shane Kelly is spokesman with the Irish Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy. For a list of accredited counsellors and psychotherapists in your area, visit www.iacp.ie

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    Mute Ellie Ward
    Favourite Ellie Ward
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    Dec 11th 2014, 8:44 AM

    If there is an older person living close to you and have no family and your cooking a Christmas dinner (or any dinner) throw on an extra potato and veg and make an extra plate. Be warned that not all older people will want the help. My 93 year old neighbour fought with me 3 years ago coz I took her over some hot food, I think she was embarrassed but now I cook a dinner for her and myself when I can.
    Something small means the world to some people, its small but effective.

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    Mute Yvonne Nic Gabhann
    Favourite Yvonne Nic Gabhann
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    Dec 11th 2014, 11:33 AM

    I had an elderly neighbour that lived next door when I was growing up. I never really considered him to be lonely, his wife had died young but he had 4 grown up children who visited every weekend and he drove so he wasnt stuck in the house. My younger brother was passing the house a few years back while he was out in the garden and they got chatting and he invited my brother in for a cup of tea. They just had a quick chat about the local GAA team and how badly they were doing before my brother went on his way again. My brother didn’t think anything of it, it was just a bit of chit-chat with our neighbour but it wasn’t until his funeral a few years later that he realised how much it meant to him. His daughter came up to him and told him how our neighbour was so thrilled that he called in that time and that he got all the news about the GAA club. He told all the family talked about that visit for years after. It makes me sad that I didn’t make more of an effort with him. A smile and a couple of minutes of chat would’ve meant so much to him and would’ve cost me nothing..

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    Mute Trevor Weafer
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    Dec 11th 2014, 9:26 AM

    The smallest gesture to someone who is alone means the world.

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    Mute William Willis
    Favourite William Willis
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    Dec 11th 2014, 11:36 AM

    Many years ago I left home and went to Australia. That first Christmas Day (next day in Australia) I rang home and my mother said “a beggar man came to the door this morning and your father ran him. I said to him “that could be our Bill away from home and in poor circumstances, have you no compassion?” So my dad ran down the street (in his slippers) and brought the man back and gave him a big fry-up for Christmas Day breakfast.
    The truth was, I was broke and in poor circumstances and hadn’t had a Christmas dinner but I thought it a great act of kindness that you only find in Ireland.

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    Mute Scorpionvenomm
    Favourite Scorpionvenomm
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    Dec 11th 2014, 10:47 AM

    Loneliness is a terrible thing and especially old people that have no family will feel it the most at Xmas and during thee year, it cost nothing to be nice to anyone in this life and if that means helping an old person or anyone and giving them a few minutes of your time could go a long way for that person.

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