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“MEN DON’T TALK face to face, they talk shoulder to shoulder”.
Those were the words of Professor Barry Golding at the Second National Men’s Sheds conference in Australia where they drew a murmur of approval from the hundreds of attendees, eventually being adopted as the motto of the burgeoning and very popular international Men’s Shed Associations.
There’s a lot of truth to those words, and most men reading them will immediately understand their relevance. Today it’s more important than ever that the voices of men be heard on their own terms, especially when they feel as though there’s nobody listening.
And Irish men today do feel like their voices aren’t being heard. The most recent and indeed one of the very few surveys of men conducted by the National Office for Suicide Prevention tells us that almost three quarters of men believed that politicians and the government had little interest in the problems they faced as men, while a similar number agreed that the lot of the average man was getting worse.
Staggeringly high rates of male suicide
Who could blame men for having a less than rosy outlook on how their concerns are treated when up until very recently little attention was being paid to the grim fact that men are taking their own lives at far higher rates than women, with a staggering five times as many male suicides as female in Ireland today, a stark reality which has been ignored by officialdom for decades.
In 2011, 458 Irish men of all ages took their own lives. In that same year 186 fatalities occurred on Irish roads. When you think about how much attention is lavished on road safety, yes, a reasonable observer could say that men are justified in feeling neglected by the great and good as well as by society itself.
A phrase you’ll often find in research, treatment recommendations, and outreach programmes in the field of suicide prevention is “toxic masculinity” or some variation thereof. This is the idea that men are too stoic, too macho to look for help, that masculinity and male identity itself is somehow the problem.
However that doesn’t just betray a disturbingly deep misunderstanding of men and masculinity, it’s flat-out wrong. The National Suicide Foundation tells us that in the year prior to death, 81% of the people involved had been in contact with their doctor or a mental health service.
Men do look for help, but the services available just aren’t listening to them when they speak on their own terms, and that’s something which needs to change.
Men are expected to solve their problems on their own
The motto of the Men’s Sheds resonates so strongly because it’s a far better description of the reality of masculinity than blithely handwaving it away as machismo. For better or for worse, when a man cries in modern society nobody comes running to dry his tears. Men are expected to solve their own problems or look for constructive help, but this same self-reliant responsibility turns sour when the perception arises that there’s no useful help to be had.
We need to talk in practical terms about practical answers to the problems men face, such as during divorce where suicide rates for men (not women) soar. Why is that?
Maybe it has something to do with 99% of Irish husbands losing their homes during divorces, or judges making child maintenance orders that leave men with below-subsistence levels of income, or, even worse, access to children being restricted to a couple of hours every fortnight, and even then often denied.
How many fathers have been transformed by our legal system into walking cash machines, driven away from their own children? I think most of us know someone in that position, just as it doesn’t take long to remember a man you knew who decided to end it all.
Listen to what men have to say in their own way
We could talk about debt or unemployment, we could talk about domestic violence against men, another huge problem nobody wants to mention, we could talk about a lot of things, but really what we need to do before anything else is to stop talking and listen.
Listen to what men have to say in their own way and then give them practical solutions and support networks while working towards improving the way men are not just seen, but the way they’re treated.
The time has come to have a conversation about why it took so long for the problem of male suicide to be recognised, why a lot more isn’t being done – in particular, by the government – and what that says about the way we look at our brothers, fathers, sons, uncles, and friends.
John Gormley is a father and husband with a deep interest in the issues that affect men because they are men. He first became involved with the mens movement three years ago, and is today acting as the spokesperson for the advocacy group Mens Human Rights Ireland. [www.menshumanrightsireland.org]
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There is very little support for lads to open up here! I’ve started talking about my own struggles recently and even started counselling! Not because I’m crazy or anything but probably because I wasn’t coping and didn’t really know how to! I blog about it and talk about it because I felt alone and maybe I’ll strike a chord with someone else who feels the same and maybe then they’ll think it’s ok to get help!
Great work Dan, I always thought about this stigma of mental health society not just here but all parts of the world. And be assured that there is nothing wrong in getting help at all. Like any other disorders these too manifest when on or more ability of brain, mind or thinking acts too much or too little. Interesting part is sometimes just sharing thoughts and talking and even listening can do more good that medications which fail miserably lost of the times. Sorrows decrease with sharing and happiness multiplies…..
It disturbs me how men’s own peers react to them opening up. It’s all man-up, stop whining, stop looking for attention. If they can’t confide in other men of course they’re going to be discouraged from talking.
I actually tried to talk to one of the lads about it and he said we should all be more like the 1940′s men who just sucked it up and moved on! There’s still that hardline “I’m a man and I deal with everything alone” crap! That kinda of thinking got me to the stage where I had to think about my wife and daughter and how selfish I was being to them by not looking for help to deal with my own stuff! But just as importantly how much I was denying myself by trying to bear all alone!
i feel this negligence stems from the fact of, so called ‘macho’ man image of men in society with tough voice, tough physique but NOT SO tough mind, when this NOT SO tough mind shatters, there’s no one to help. peers expect him to be tough in mind as well which is not possible without asking for support and help and the saga continues forever…
Joanna
I think you’re quite right it’s this stereotyping of “real” men and manly behaviour that causes a lot of the issues
You could almost call it “toxic masculinity”?
*sigh*
Except you can’t. It has nothing to do with being stoic, but a lot to do with being ignored.
81% of male victims of suicide searched for professional help, which means 81% talked about their problems, but they weren’t listened.
It’s not about what a man expect of himself, but of what people expect of men. (which also means other men.)
Who said they can confide in other women?
Look at woman’s blogs today complaining on how weak men are and worthless and a waste of life by not being invulnerable to anything but women.
men are raised to be disposable, but when they fail to cope with it and search for help, they are treated as less than human. As lesser than a sick animal.
Yup Cathal, bloody video games and tv! It’s all such a trope! ;D
I think men are afraid that if they recognise another man’s weakness and sympathise with him it might make them appear weak also, and very few things worry men more than appearing weak and effeminate , which they feel will make them undesirable to women. Women also reinforce this restrictive gender role either consciously or reflexively , as do men reinforce restrictive gender roles for women.
To be fair, sounds like you could do without that kind of negativity from a friend! Some people don’t understand it because they have never gone through, doesn’t mean they never will and doesn’t mean they shouldnt be there for a friend.. All this macho shite should stop, it has nothing to do with being so. Also, its through tough times when you reach out or distance yourself that you often find true friends that support you and you know you,can depend on
Joanna, this is because men have a fear of being considered weak if they acknowledge their own or other men’s problems and try to understand and help them. This is also reinforced by women who prefer strong stoic men with confidence etc. A lot of men feel that if they open up about their problems , women too will see them as weak and undesirable and unmanly. And to be honest, this is often the case.
Oh look… victim blaming. Why are men suffering? Because of men. Why are women suffering? Because of men. Why does society suck? Because of men.
All that blame heaped on the heads of men, and people wonder why men are killing themselves.
I agree with the author John Gormley 100%.
We have a society that expects all men to aspire to become the alpha male, and if they don’t, we just push them and their concerns aside. They need to be listened to and their concerns addressed and taken very seriously.
Many years ago when I was sectioned after my own attempted suicide, I was treated like dirt by the doctors (I’m female) I was told I was just attention seeking, my concerns brushed aside as if they were nonsense, and even told that I was lucky I wasn’t arrested and jailed. Whilst I was there I met and befriended a lovely young lad who was also sectioned as a result of attempted suicide, he too was treated in this abhorrent manner – we talked to each other, we cried, we helped each other to overcome our problems. We both survived.
We need to step away from the past, create strong awareness about a very worrying problem within our male population, and set up a service that will actually listen and pay heed to them.
Agreed. That was a lovely short story, thanks for sharing.
Thank you Arthur, but sadly it is a true story, and very little seems to have changed in all the years that have passed – 39 to be precise.
I’ve always encouraged my two sons to talk, if not to me or their dad, then to each other or a trusted friend.
i didnt think for one second that it wasnt. glad you are okay now :)
If the government can’t knock some cash out of it they don’t want to know, you can be fined and charged out the kazoo for driving related stuff, suicide just isn’t lucrative enough to get their interest
Are there any groups to assist men when the need support?
Weren’t a couple just highlighted in the article?
Also try amen.ie
http://www.amen.ie provide support for men in Ireland. Their support/advice phone number is in the website and they can be contacted directly by phone.
Small changes are beginning to happen on this as a society. As someone who suffers with depression,i have only in the past 2 years begun to open up on this and seek help. Having tried to deal with this by myself for almost 20 years,i can say that getting counselling and seeking help is the best step i have taken. Even before i got help i would have been one of those men who would never divulge any of this information to family or friends under the misconception that i would be viewed as weak or that wasn’t living up to this stereotyped ideal of great husband/father. Taking 5 weeks off work sick last year showed me that self care is vital,and that i can no longer be hostage to what i “should” be or ” should” be doing. Growing up it is probably true that in terms of male figures in my life these issues would never be talked about or discussed. But it is in the context of keeping that silence,that the inability to communicate and be open was able to develop as a pattern.
I think the more we see openess and discussion,this silence and non-disclosure will gradually be peeled back. I know that i plan to be more open on all things in future and that i want my 4 year old daughter to know that she can discuss anything with her family and friends and that nothing is off limits.
Many things can help in the first steps of recovery- counselling,medication,exercise,mindfulness etc. It is quite scary to take the first step,i will not lie, but it is well well worth it.
More men die from suicide than the total number who die on our roads. And yet millions of pounds are poured into safety campaigns etc to reduce the number
@big willy
This is a shocking reality. Suicide remains very much a taboo subject in Ireland. Perhaps it has something to do with the religious angle and about it being a “mortal sin”.
I think that because the family unit is still something that is held very much in revere in Ireland, if a person commits suicide, there is the perception that the blame will fall on the other family members for not being there or for not helping them. There is shame and guilt and blame. Ireland can be a place where people like to blame others for things that go wrong.
I think that, mixed with the ‘man up’ culture is creating an environment where men find it incredibly hard to either reach out for help or to be taken seriously when they do.
We need a lot more money to be put into campaigns. Ireland needs to bring the topic out into the light. It needs to lose its stigma. And campaigns are one way to do this.
The small amount of replies and minimum of women being concerned says a lot. :(
Men’s sheds is a great idea and I regularly share their pages. Commenting on here requires time, effort and a leather skin so don’t make assumptions when people don’t. Female or male.
Peer support seems to be the way forward and is been put in place. Also Recovery College’s are starting up in parts of the country. And ASIST training + networking meetings. http://www.nosp.ie/html/training.html
Suicide or Survive are running wellness workshops throughout the country. Yesterday there was one in Longford. They have put some of their work up online ~ http://www.wellnessworkshop.ie/
Once in there, there is Module navigation on the right. Within the module there is an Introduction, Live workshop and Worksheets.
Recovery College information ~
The first one in Ireland was set up in Mayo. Also one in Roscommon / East Galway now. Not sure about rest of country.
For information on Mayo ~ mayorecoverycollege@gmail.com
@Arthur
These pages do not reflect reality. A hell of a lot of women are concerned. I was once married to someone with depression and the risk of suicide during very black moments was always there.
Plenty of people give a damn.
Not sure how red thumbs reflect reality either. When you give links to what’s going on in the country and groups that are trying to help. As well as links into online workshops. I comes across as a bit idiotic. Seriously !
Men’s Groups have sprung up in recent years, perhaps in response the the unmet need referred to in the article. These are safe, confidential places where men can get stuff off their chest or simply listen and other men and find out how they’re dealing with life and challenges. You can find them through this website http://mensgroups.ie/ or on facebook at https://www.facebook.com/mensgroupsireland?ref=hl
Men do look for help, but the services available just aren’t listening to them when they speak on their own terms, and that’s something which needs to change.
I would add “the services such as they are” to that statement. We currently have an entire mental health system based on “toxic masculinity”-and the message men are sent is “it’s your own fault”. Suicidal-it’s your own fault-you suffer from “toxic masculinity”. Not comfortable talking to someone whose beginning premise in mental health is that you are somehow “toxic” by definition? Well, then, it’s your own fault for not talking. Feel like you need someone to allow you to express yourself as a male? Nope, sorry, that’s “toxic masculinity” again. Rinse and repeat.
There is NO real system in place to help men (in most of the Western world, in fact) on suicide, health issues (2/3 of every dollar goes to women’s healthcare), DV issues (which start from the biased Duluth model), homelessness (2/3 or more of the homeless are men) or a range of other issues. But say anything and you are shouted down as a “privileged male” who can’t POSSIBLY have these issues and, once again, told you “suffer” from “toxic masculinity”.
To solve this problem will require more than just saying things like “men need to open up” or mouthing other mindless platitudes. It will require a societal change in which men feel they CAN speak-and in which THEIR lived experiences are given EQUAL worth with those of women.
Sadly, I see little hope of this actually happening. Right now we have feminists actively (and effectively) depriving men of due process on a scale that, were the situation reversed, would lead to massive, worldwide outcry, and yet most of the media, and indeed most of the world, is silent. Boys are killed in large numbers and all we hear is “bring back our girls”. The US President issues an order declaring any male in a combat zone a “presumed” combatant (i.e. guilty by mere presence) and the US is silent on this horrific, and sexist, abuse of basic human rights. Given the current circumstance I am, quite frankly, entirely cynical about the possibility of any real change coming to pass or any actual recognition being given to the issues men are now facing.
Which no doubt proves to some feminists that I must now suffer from “toxic masculinity”.
Correction to my earlier post, Men are 10 times more likely to take their lives at the end of a relationship.
Then that’s a time to really help and support someone. When going through a relationship breakdown. It’s something I’m aware of but must feed it back to the ASIST meeting this week. And at other mental health meetings.
For all separates father from Mayo, join a free Fathers group running Wednesdays 7pm to 9pm in Westport, in the family and community centre. https://www.facebook.com/fathersgroupwestportmayoireland
There is also a Mayo Recovery College. I don’t like some of the wording in this article but it’s one of the few articles that has information about this ~
Also another article ~ http://www.mayo.me/irelands-first-recovery-college-to-open-in-mayo
Have been there. Know the reasons. Not strong enough to disclose here though publicly, but was strong enough to survive. Just to say, our society, and the way we’re brought up, our teachings, has a lot to do with it. If you’re different to social norms, it’s tough.
I can speak from experience ,after a failed suicide attempt ,i was put on a waiting list to be accessed ,that took a month ,then 6 months on a waiting list for psychotherapy ,,It really helped me to see the baggage i carried from my younger days sexual abuse ,,I thought that going to work every day ,keep busy ,was the way to cope ,until i snapped , BUT i still feel alone and a couple of people i trusted to talk about it to (females) just dropped me as a friend ,Got their questions answered and their curiosity satisfied ,At least i have my family all do my wife wont touch me since ( damaged goods ) Am working away ,but it is lonely and some days the thoughts of suicide do come back , Depression is a lonely dark place full of self-blame ,self hatred ,and sometimes the person becomes judge ,jury and executioner ,
My own opinion on this is. “I think one of the most crueless things you can do to someone is to denie/stop them from seeing their own children, especially if the father was a good father to their children while married and was not harmful towards the children physically, mentally or emotionally. This is so horrible for both the father and the children (who now don’t get to see their father very much anymore). “
Why does suicide have to be gender based?
If someone writes on domestic violence, we read, what about us men?
One could do the same and ask what about the women and suicide?
So why not make it about human beings regardless of gender?
During the last depression in the 1930 ‘s lots of men committed suicide and left their wives alive to deal with it all. My grandfather was one of those. My grandmother was left to deal with 8 children under 12 , all starving etc. But she did the best she could and they all made it through. Suicide was taboo back then of course and other excuses were created. There are suicide cases today too that are not documented as such – for insurance reasons.
because of feminism it cant be gender neutral, its despicable how long they neglected men for so long.
If the suicide rate for one gender is five times as high it’s perfectly reasonable to ask why and to suggest we might do something about it.
I can assure you I’ve never posted ‘what about us men?’ in response to any writing on domestic violence.
Your post comes across as rather churlish with regard to your grandfather and to men in general. You might ask yourself why.
Although I have mixed feelings about ‘men’s advocacy’ I don’t see anything in the article that would diminish women in any way or that would justify your defensive reaction – defensive on the basis of your gender, that is: exactly what the content of your post ostensibly criticizes.
It’s one of the leading causes of death amongst men. Simply put, men are 4/5 more like to take their lives in general, and 10 times more likely to end their lives in general. It’s a public health issue at the very least.
also her grandfather wouldnt hve done what he did, if there were a helping hand to address his issues unlike her grandmother.. sorry to be blatant about it.
Catherine , there is no ill-intent here , it is necessary sometimes to separate gender issues in order to be more specific about how to approach them .
men and women have different ways to deal with life’s difficulties , and that fact does not lessen the importance of either gender .
(bye the way , as a retired Counselling therapist , I can confirm this fact , my male and female clients always had a variety of differences regarding their emotional issues and how they were trying to deal with them , )
men and women are naturally of equal importance here and deserve equal consideration , just perhaps affording each one a different forum.
Hope you understand what I am trying to say.
Catherine, it’s kind of the same reason that workplace issues can be gender based, too….men and women face different issues all the time, you can still be all for equality and realise that too, acknowledging it doesn’t belittle either sex…
My Grandfather died of TB in 1948, leaving my grandmother with two small children a brother in-law with downs syndrome and a small farm to run (and she had to work too). It’s called life and it happens to us all to one degree or another, you’re not special, nobody is, we’re all just trying to do the best we can with what we have.
Drop the axe and move on.
Maybe it’s because the suicide rate among men is 5 times higher than women, in every country that suicide rates are looked at?
So why do people say “what about the men?” Maybe because in every western county DV is looked at, men are half the victims.
I agree with Catherine to an extent, but it’s the fembots who desperately want to define things by gender, not men.
Catherine unfortunately you comment is totally incorrect re insurance and suicide figures.
I agree these issues should be ungendered, but unfortunately there’s been a somewhat lopsided approach to them to date so there’s a need for a men’s movement to put things in perspective.
In this particular context, I don’t think there’s an issue with depressed women not being supported because of their gender.
Catherine, with respect, are you not doing exactly what you complain happens on articles about DV?
More men are killing themselves than women. Maybe lots of women have unsuccessful attempts but right now more men are dying so it requires a more urgent focus. It would require a different tactic than seeking to reduce female, LGBT or even suicide resulting from bullying, so this focus in no way detracts from a desire to reduce suicide in other groups.
I don’t think there is any need to try and drag the discussion off topic in that way, this is an article about the alarming suicide rate among men. A topic that requires urgent focus.
The difference is that half of the victims of domestic violence are men, therefore asking “what about the men” when talking about domestic violence is appropriate. Women only make up 20% of all suicide victims… so your false equvialency is false.
men will always die younger and commit suicide more than women that’s the way it is around the world
Just because that is the way it is, doesn’t mean that can’t change
Simply can’t understand that comment
. Could you explain please ?
Samaritans is a great help and resource ~ 116 123. Suicidal feelings are temporary. A person can lose perspective on their life. Things do get better.
It can’t change Micahel beacause it is a direct derivative of the world we have already created. Support is of course so important, but opening up doesnt necessairly change one’s view of the world, sometimes it confirms it, regardless of one having apparent good or bad circumstances in life. I guess though support and awareness is really the only possible way to try to change it.
The top killer of new mothers in the year after birth is suicide.
Awaiting red thumbs but that’s not really relevant to this discussion…
When Post Natal Depression is treated with “anti-depressants” / SSRIs it doesn’t help.
Considering the causes ~
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/postpartum-depression/basics/causes/con-20029130
Sad consequences of SSRIs for some ~ http://antidepaware.co.uk/medicating-post-natal-depression/
But then these drugs are also one of the causes of male suicides. At least some of the males I know. Don’t believe me. Ask their mothers. These drugs even carry a FDA black box warning for certain age groups in the US.
One article about men and straight away it gets highjacked for women’s issues because God knows there’s precious little discussion about those in the media.
Post Natal Depression is everyone’s concern. The babies come out both male and female. A mother’s mental health and a fathers affects the children. And their future mental health.
Hijack” ~ To take control of (something) without permission or authorization and use it for one’s own purposes, is a bit of a strong word.
Plus my comment refers to male suicides and the impact of “anti-depressants” on some people’s mental health. Not everyone starts running around with a smile on their face because of these so called “happy pills”. Not everyone can metabolize these drugs. And saying that the “rebalance neurotransmitters” is mythology. If you can find me people who have had their neurotransmitter levels checked before and after taking these mind altering drugs let me know.
As pointed out by Danish Dr Peter Gøtzsche we have serotonin receptors in our brain, heart and gut. In fact most of our serotonin is in our gut, hence the importance of what we eat and drink. Mental / physical health are not separate. They are very much connected. Hence the need for a holistic approach. The current biomedical based approach is obviously not working. I regularly read of suicides where the person was on “anti-depressants”. If these drugs work then why are there so many dead people ?
At the same time, if anyone is on these drugs they should not stop or change them without talking to a good doctor, due to the dangers of withdrawal. A lot of tragedies can happen too when people stop psychoactive drugs incorrectly. Or are taken off the drugs incorrectly.
Catherine, please. This is a discussion about the staggering rates of suicide among men, if it bothers you when some groups start taking over the comments in discussions on women’s issues then why turn around and be the hypocrite here?
Discussing male suicide in no way diminishes or claims that it is more important than any other type of suicide, but as its so common it deserves a slightly more urgent focus. The exact same thing we try to explain to those who complain certain female issues get too much focus.
Don’t be the hypocrite. This is a serious topic and doesn’t need to be dragged off course.
Tom, aged 14 ~ http://antidepaware.co.uk/tom-aged-14/
George, aged 15 ~ http://antidepaware.co.uk/george-aged-15/
2001 ~ A VERDICT of “self-inflicted death” was returned at an inquest into the death of former CIE boss Michael McDonnell yesterday. “He had to be treated at St Patrick’s Hospital for depression and was prescribed medication” ~ http://www.independent.ie/irish-news/coroner-finds-excie-chiefs-death-was-selfinflicted-26068875.html
Robin Williams was on the anti-depressant Mirtazapine which showed up in toxicology results and also prescribed Seroquel. Over 2000 “Completed suicides” registered on Seroquel / Quetiapine on http://www.rxisk.org
I could go on about men all night. A brother of a friend of mind took his own life by hanging while on Effexor. Another male friend of mine who was on Lexapro has been through a similar experience as myself. I was on Citalopram. Lexapro and Citalopram are very similar drugs. Another friend of mine, her brother acted out of character while on Cymbalta. Won’t go into the details but it would have been a scandal.
A number of my friends have lost sons before of “anti-depressants”. Tommy, Shane, Toran and Jake. These drugs carry black box warnings in the US for young people due to the suicide risk.
Another lady who I know, her husband is in prison because of a serious tragedy in their family. He was on a cocktail of psychoactive drugs, including Prozac. His wife stands by him as she knows he would not have done this if he wasn’t on these drugs. He was having symptoms of akathisia before the tragedy. A severe inner restlessness. Something I have experienced myself after stopping drugs abruptly, without being warned of the dangers of that. I wouldn’t wish the feeling on my worst enemy ! It took me 3.5 years to learn the truth. From 8O + year old doctor Ivor Browne. I thought it was a “breakdown”. I now realise it was drug withdrawal. Luckily I didn’t hurt myself or anyone else.
Samaritans ~ 116 123
To anyone struggling out there right now, who’s feeling depressed. I don’t know if this will help you, but i guess anything is worth trying to see if it will help. I found it help me a bit, so just wanted to share it with you.
Your not alone my friend, it might feel like you are right now. But it will get better, it just takes time.
Just keep trying to keep trying. Don’t give up hope, just yet .
I watched a lovely documentary called “happy” Director: Roko Belic its on http://www.netflix.com
Its really interesting. It explains a lot about human psychology and what the basic tools are in life to help/make yourself happy again.
Happy takes viewers on a journey from the swamps of Louisiana to the slums of Kolkata in search of what really makes people happy.
People take their own lives for many different reasons. I could have taken my own life when I was misunderstood by those who thought they knew best. Maybe if we are concerned it would be better to create a better world where we all get a chance to live a content life with all its ups and downs. Maybe if we encourage each other to accept that there is no gain without pain, that less can be more, that we can be content living even in bad times then we won’t become obsessed with statistics which can be manipulated so easily.
” When the power of love overcomes the love of power then we will have peace.”
There’s no value to men expressing emotions, none. For women victimhood and weakness are expected, lauded, and rewarded.
But for men the rewards are few, the responsibilities many, and the consequences of failure severe. While women may have a glass ceiling, they certainly have a glass cellar.
So, men step off the ledge, or become Elliot Rodgers.
I presume that men are quicker to become unsatisfied with their lives and would prefer not to burden others with their problems.
Hence the higher suicide rate.
I watched a lovely documentary called “happy”
Director: Roko Belic
its on
http://www.netflix.com
Its really interesting. It explains a lot about human psychology and what the basic tools are in life to help/make yourself happy again.
Happy takes viewers on a journey from the swamps of Louisiana to the slums of Kolkata in search of what really makes people happy.
The Public Mental health system in Ireland, really needs to be improved some how. Unless you have a lot of money to pay for treatment/help yourself, your not going to get much help in Ireland (your doctor will probably just give you a load of anti-depressants which will not solve the problem long term). The problem with this system is, if some one is suffering with depression, they may have lost there job due to it or not be able to work because of it, therefore they do not have the funds available to them to pay for the help/treatment they so badly need to get better. They probably will not have the money to pay to see psychologists ect…. privately (which are over 60 euro per hour in Ireland). And maybe this is very dangerous, because then if the person who may want to get better, but can not afford to get the proper help they need, may be at risk of committing suicide. Maybe if there was more affordable Psychological help etc.. out there, this could help save a lot of unnecessary deaths.
Men are losing access to women, that’s the basic problem and underlying cause.
We are becoming beautiful mice. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_B._Calhoun
The unbelievably biased Family Law legislation in Ireland is the number one cause of male suicide in Ireland. Forget Pieta house and their walks and all that bolloxology , until the family law legislation is changed and brought in line with the divorce laws of countries like the USA male suicide will keep on rising.
have your say