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There are triggering moments like the Karen Buckley case. It’s always going to be there I suppose.
Tom Meagher, husband of the late Jill Meagher, who was murdered in Melbourne in September 2012, said the family of Karen Buckley have a long road ahead.
Speaking to TheJournal.ie, Meagher said, “I was utterly heartbroken. I followed the case from the start.
I remember waking up the morning that I found out what happened and it was just so heartbreaking. I cried for hours.
“I just send them my absolute sincere love and support. It’s a very similar case to Jill in a way but it’s also very different in how individuals deal with this.
“The only thing I can say to them is take love where you can find it and take comfort in your family and friends. They have a very hard road ahead as I know.”
‘I paid for her, I can do what I want with her.’
Meagher was speaking at the launch of a campaign ‘Prostitution – We Don’t Buy it’, organised by The Reach Project. Discussing the men who purchase sex and the lies they tell themselves, Meagher said:
Two years ago I read this document from an interview with a man who had repeatedly and very violently raped a number of prostitutes in Australia. His answer to the question, ‘Why did you do this?’ was ‘I paid for her, I can do what I want with her.’Ten years later that man was out on parole and raped and murdered my wife.
Meagher told TheJournal.ie that he still thinks about Adrian Bayley.
“When I think about him I’m very angry but I don’t think about him as much. It’s not something that’s as prevalent in my mind as it was.
When I think about him my blood does boil but it’s not ever-present.
A Red C poll released today revealed that almost one in ten Irish men have paid for sex.
Meagher said, “The transfer of money does not turn a no into a yes.” He read out posts on a website men who rape women they’ve paid for go to:
“She didn’t even speak English. Not what I was looking for and I’m the one paying for this.
“I’m paying her €2.50 a minute and I can’t even fuck her in the position I want, this is not fair.”
Meagher added that, “Many of us believe that prostitution prevents rape” he said this was illustrated in a London study in which one man said:
“Sometimes you might rape someone but you can go get a prostitute instead.”
He said this feeds into the lie that ‘male sexuality is this uncontrolled force of nature- so therefore needs a constant supply of women to satisfy that man’.
That also feeds into the lie that men can’t help themselves. It’s a handy excuse for rapists and violent men.
“It’s a lie that dis-empowers both men and women. We need to end the lie that this is about sexual freedom or liberation. It’s not liberation, it’s exploitation.”
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Still can’t get over the fact bayliss ever got released,never mind parole with his track record, should never see freedom again that animal
@Mick
The retired judge who investigated the case found that the file on Bayley didn’t contain a complete record of his criminal history. Incompetence on the part of the Parole Board led to the granting of parole to him. I was shocked by the Parole Board’s failure because I thought that Australia was miles ahead of Ireland with regard to justice.
I feel for him. It must horrible to be reminded of what happened to his wife every time we hear these cases.
I can’t believe that such evil is in our midst, our young people go for a night out get robbed, beat up, raped and murdered…God please please help us.
Why did god let it happen in the first place Denise.
Don’t make this into a religious issue Richard based on an everyday saying.
He’s not listening because he doesn’t exist…..imo
God left this place along time ago.
Richard, did the concept of freewill evade your intellectual paradigm?
Obviously , divine intervention isn’t high on His priority ,frederick.
Don’t know about you, Frederick, but if i was omnipotent and all-conquering , I’d strike down any man who goes out assaults,rapes and murders women .Then again , i wouldn’t waych over with indifference famines,disease ,tragic accidents etc.
But then this ‘benign’ God must his reasons for appalling atrocities because apparently we’re all his sons and daughters and He loves us all…..
Just for the hell of it , can anybody that redthumbs me please explain why a supposed ‘benign’ God allows these tragedies to happen ?
Seriously, as i’d love to have ‘faith’ when cold,stark reality of the randomness of brutality in life seems the norm right across the globe.
Are you for real with that comment Paul? Your comment shows gross ignorance of what happened to Jill Meagher, Karen Buckley and numerous other women. It also shows gross disrespect to the grieving relatives. Tom is doing what he needs to do to come to terms with what happened. I think what he is doing is admirable and if his wife could see him now then she would too.
MaryEllen,
Which one of the names you mentioned were prostitutes?
Paul, none of the women named in my post were prostitues, far from it. Even if they were prostitutes then what relevance has that to them being murdered. Even if they were prostitutes then they got double victimisation, prostitution itself and then murdered.
My comment was in reply to your absurd accusation that Tom Meagher volunteers himself to be abused. It was a pretty pathetic comment to troll out.
Thanks MaryEllen,
Meagher is being abused every time he is trouped out to support some ridiculously one sided cause.
It’s unpopular to say that, sure, but somebody should.
There are many ways of dealing with grief, but making yourself a poster boy for every form of negative interaction between men and women isn’t an intelligent use of life.
He volunteers to be abused by people such as yourself who would like to see him as a hero, when in fact what we are seeing is extraordinary grief.
Nasty comment, Paul.
How else would you suggest I say it Petr?
1 in ten men have paid for sex, that should read 1 in 10 men told the truth.
Speak for yourself
Fair enough but is definitely more then 1 in 10
Really? I thought it would’ve been much less.
Polls in London confirm the 10% figure. However its likely there is under-reporting for fear of getting into trouble with the law.
Everyman pays for sex, some men pay cash on the night the rest pay over the coarse of a lifetime
While I sympathise with the husband its important to remember that the vast majority of clients of prostitutes do not harm them. The reason such killings happen is that the sex trade is driven underground, into the hands of organised crime and pimps. The solution is legalisation and regulation of adult prostitution, so that prostitutes can report abuse to the Gardai without going to jail themselves or losing their children.
Actually I read that the number of sex workers that have experienced assault on the job is around 50%. Violence against sex workers is huge problem.
It’s most likely a small group of clients doing the vast majority of the assault. It’s still a huge problem, but it doesn’t undermine the original point.
Yes it is, so legalise it so they can access the proper protection.
This not-so-subtle linking of every man who’s hired a prostitute with the murdering rapist Adrian Bailey is grossly unfair and yet another manifestation of the fear & hatred of male sexuality
It doesn’t matter that it’s not every client. Prostitution attracts the worst kind of clients because sex workers are seen as disposable. All sex workers are vulnerable to assault, particularly those who have been trafficked.
Legal prostitution is much safer for the sex worker as they can go to the police, access trade union representation, regulate for safe sex, hiv tests etc
Then why argue the point? As Irish Druid said prohibition is only making the situation worse for all involved.
Their vulnerability is in large part because it’s illegal
Saying only a minority of clients are bad sort of dismisses the problem.
No it doesn’t. Irish Druid said the vast majority of clients don’t harm prostitutes. You countered his point by saying you read that 50% of them have been harmed while working. My post pointed out that it’s much more likely to have one man assault numerous prostitutes, rather than each prostitute being beaten by a separate man.
Yes, that there is the problem. It doesn’t matter how many clients are culpable, a lot of sex workers still get hurt.
I agree, but posing your 50% statistic as a rebuttal to Irish Druids point is disingenuous as doing so suggests 50% of the clients are responsible. Using this mornings 1 in 10 statistic, it could be misconstrued that 1 in 20 Irish men have assaulted a prostitute. My issue isn’t in with whether or not the attacks occur, it’s with the flexing of statistics to suggest a point that isn’t there.
The problem here is feminism. Feminists want women to have the freedom to choose how they live their lives but then protest when they make decisions(like to become a prostitute) they don’t approve of.
It is far more likely women Will escape prostitution if it is legal than if it is illegal.
Well then you misconstrued my point =P
I could well have, but your original point doesn’t do anything to disprove Irish Druid’s claim that a minority of clients are responsible for the attacks. If that wasn’t what you were going for then fair enough.
Keeping it illegal causes more harm than good. It’s not known as the oldest profession for nothing. Like drugs, this won’t be swept under the carpet. Tax, regulate, educate.
The objectification of women is the underlying cause of most violence against women. Prostitution is the ultimate objectification of women.
Young men are being educated by the web and what they see on TV and in other media.
If we say prostitution is ok then we are justifying in the minds of all men that its ok to treat women as objects or as a commodity , which goes against any notion of respect or dignity for women.
everyone should take a moment and realise how strong and amazing this man is. Not often you hear men speak out for women’s right. Well done!
I don’t care what anyone says – Men are streets ahead of women when it comes to fighting and raping and killing – FACT !
You’ve never met my wife.
And yet still not as crazy and unpredictable.
There appears some fair degree of hypocrisy by Tom Meaghar on this issue . He rightly chastised the Australian court system for treating sex workers as ‘less than proper women’ , thereby allowing evil Bayliss to do what he did almost with disregard.
Yet Tom now disregards sex workers here who overwhelmingly reject criminalisation (98% of 170 + sex workers in QUB research last year) in favour of an approach which forces prostitution underground.
If Tom read out the statements by wife-beaters who felt entitled to rape & beat their wives, should we now regard all husbands as potential abusers?
Paul Roche is right – Tom Meaghar’s awful awful story is being used to push an agenda which sex workers strongly oppose .
But hey, since when do their views matter…..
Kate McGrew a sex worker was on Newstalk in the last half hour opposed ngvthe Swedish model, pointing out the government was not decriminalising the prostitutes themselves contrary to what Ruhsma has said. It will endanger women because they will still be forbidden from working in groups, which makes them in more danger from violence on the safety in numbers principle. Also as she pointed out Sweden didn’t have trafficking statistics before it was introduced so how can its police know the numbers trafficked have reduced?
I’m sick of these pious do good ers .. If 2 adults want to enter into a business agreement it’s nobodies business but their own.. Piss off
Why does Meagher volunteer to continue to be abused?
The bigger question is why is the Swedish model still touted as successful.
You’re an idiot Paul… I say this to draw your attention to the fact, since you don’t seem to be either aware or ashamed of your idiocy.
Babaloo,
Meagher is drawn into one sided campaigns against violence to support radfem agendas.
The “Swedish Model” is in disrepute yet because Meagher wishes to be the poster-child for secondary victims we’re encouraged to forget reason because of his pain?
The people encouraging him to keep coming forward are the ones who are abusing him.
He has my sympathy, not my support.
True. Same thing happened Praveen Halapanavaar. Allowing himself to be wheeled out and abused by those with agenda.
What is wrong with you?
Praveen saw what was going on.
@Paul
Tom Meagher knows what he is talking about. He is working to draw attention to violence against prostitutes because one of the women who Bayley previously raped was a prostitute. If it had not been for indifference towards prostitutes who are the victims of violence, the prostitute who was raped by Bayley might have reported the crime that was committed against her.
Ciaran,
“Meagher was speaking at the launch of a campaign ‘Prostitution – We Don’t Buy it’, organised by The Reach Project.”
Campaigning to criminalise using prostitutes by demonising all men who are their clients is going a bit further than “working to draw attention to violence against prostitutes”.
The creation of these new offences and the rights given to a police force to investigate them are disproportionate responses to a crime that took place in AUSTRALIA.
@ Ciaran,
Tom Meaghar is also completely ignoring the expressed views of women inprostitution who overwhelmingly reject Swedish model in favour of a rights based approach. Considering , his criticism of the Australian judiciary for their lack of respect towards women in prostitution , then therein lies hypocrisy.
@John Mac
He spoke about violence against female prostitutes, not prostitution “per se”.
He said:
“Two years ago I read this document from an interview with a man who had repeatedly and very violently raped a number of prostitutes in Australia. His answer to the question, ‘Why did you do this?’ was ‘I paid for her, I can do what I want with her.’ Ten years later that man was out on parole and raped and murdered my wife.”
It begs the question: Would Bayley have been granted parole if the crimes that he committed against those prostitutes had been taken more seriously?
@Paul
I don’t believe that criminalisation of payment for sex is the answer but what The Reach Project is doing is still morally justified. So why shouldn’t Tom Meagher work alongside The Reach Project? His aim is to help vulnerable women.
“Morally Justified”?
You might believe that. I don’t.
A life for a life should be the minimum Sentence for these sick people
This guy s starting to annoy more than James Blunt.
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