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WITH THE COST of childcare being as much, if not more, than paying a mortgage these days, many Irish families are turning to au pairs.
A recent report from the Migrants Rights Centre of Ireland says that au pairs are working in up to 20,000 Irish homes, and many are being subjected to exploitation or abuse.
Au pairs often come from countries to learn English and generally get about €100 pocket money to help out with the children.
However, the latest report finds that many are working around the clock, caring for the children as well as carrying out all domestic duties, such as the washing, cleaning the house as well as preparing all the meals for the family.
TheJournal.ie spoke to one au pair who travelled from Europe to be an au pair. She has worked in Ireland for over a year. She wishes to remain anonymous.
‘It wasn’t what I expected’
“I came to Ireland as I wanted to learn English. I came to work with a family, and I expected to be friends with the family and help out with the children, but it was not what I expected it to be. It was something totally different.”
The family in which she was to work for was organised by an agency, she said, stating that all of her friends used one of these agencies to find work with Irish families.
“I came over by myself, but while I was attending college, I soon realised that pretty much every one of the friends I made were working as au pairs.”
“I had only been in Ireland and with a family one week, when they told me I had to go. They said there was no connection with the children and I had to leave. It was very disappointing.”
This was very stressful, she explained, as she was worried about money and getting by. She said the agency gave her another family to work for.
Working around the clock
The family were from a good area in Dublin. Both husband and wife have very good, well-paid professional jobs.
It was fine at first, but after a month I began to not feel comfortable there. I would get up every day before 7am and work until 7pm when the parents came home.
There was too much housework, and it was not well paid for what it was.
Before I came to Ireland, I thought being an au pair would be helping out with the children, playing with them, minding them while there parents weren’t there. But I had to do all the housework – cleaning the whole house, bedrooms and kitchen, do all the ironing, clean the toilets and prepare all the meals. There was a lot to do.
She said she also had to bring the children, who were quite young, to and from school every day.
Children’s behaviour
There were also issues with the children, she explained, adding that they had never been shown any sort of discipline.
“The children were so spoiled. They could have whatever they wanted and if you said no, they would just scream and sometimes punch you.”
There was not enough consequences for the children from the parents after such behaviour, she explained.
This was not just in my case. After speaking to my friends, this was something that happened often.One friend of mine was not allowed to close her bedroom door when she left the house. The mother said her child liked to play in her room, with all of the au pairs things. These were her personal things and her personal space.Once, the child found headache tablets on a shelf in the au pairs room. The mother gave out to the au pair for having them, and said she wasn’t allowed keep them in her own room.
Nothing was mentioned that perhaps her child should not be in her room playing with her things.
She said that her friend had since left Ireland as there were too many issues. Other issues included being called on the phone to come home to babysit when her and her friends had time off at the weekend.
One of the children had also not been potty trained, despite being over the age that this would be expected. She said that things like this that should be done by the parents were left up to her.
The children are just children, so you can’t blame their behaviour on them.They want to be with their family, their mother and father. They want them to be doing these things, but you are the person with them all day and then putting then to bed.They hate you because you are them instead. They can’t understand it, as they are children.
Would she be an au pair again?
It was not what I expected and I wouldn’t do it again, but my experience was not as bad as some of my other friends. But, I have to say, the experiences were mixed – some people only worked 20 or so hours a week, and it was fine.It depends on the family you get, but you have to be lucky.
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I drive a taxi and for many reasons I don’t belive it’s a job for a woman. I would hate to see my wife or daughter drive a taxi. And before I’m bashed I am not sexest
You clearly are a sexist if you believe women are too weak to drive a taxi. You didn’t say they were weak but that is clearly what you are inferring
Implying, damn it.
No Philip I’m not ! But keep trying
Ah I see your Twitter has been suspended Philip Hogan bit of a troll are you hiding behind false names !
Just curious, what exactly are you saying?
OK Mr Weddingcar, why shouldn’t women drive taxis?
Because of the Philip Hogans off this world !!
That doesn’t even make sense. You don’t think your wife and daughter are capable of driving a taxi. Is it any wonder that feminism is so aggressive when your misogyny is so engrained
Are you busy tonight, weddingcar?
I dunno. All the other car jackings had male taxi drivers. Is the experience less terrifying as a man? I wouldn’t say so.
I wouldn’t think it would be either. If they take the car and let you go unharmed it’s the only good thing to come out of a car jacking.
Why I wouldn’t like my wife etc driving is because you are dealing with people at their worst late at night drunk or worse on drugs. It’s hard enough without having guys trying it on or been intimidating which would and does happen with female drivers.
Day time work wouldn’t be to bad but nights would be a disaster waiting to happen.
what do you mean it’s not a job for a woman? you didn’t really say why :L
So what you ate saying is that you would rather see women treated like glass, always kept away from danger. Give them a bit more credit. They might surprise you
James and Philip grow up !
but…i was asking a legit question. im not trying to be mean or cheeky
He is concentrating on his new big job in Europe from now on…
I’ve never seen one female taxi driver working at night. It’s common sense really.
Daniel there is many
Would you suggest that women don’t work as police or in A&E then? They’d be facing the exact same people. What I’d suggest is taxis that have a partition between the driver at the front and the passenger at the back. You’d have to have fairly thick skin to be a taxi driver, so why shouldn’t a woman be a taxi driver if they’re as thick skinned as the male taxi drivers?
Guys stop trying to prove Wexford limo a sexiest . what he is saying is very true. After a wild night out, most of the time Drank man make trouble at the street…you wont see many woman making trouble at night while they are drank. an drank man has a common issue to harass women. so in a Saturday night, when lots of drank wild mans are in the street, who will not bother about law and order or maybe not in a state of thinking clearly would probably find a woman taxi driver more easy rather than a Man driver. Its just a fact.
@Danny. Your a&e remark just makes no sense. In relation to female gardai, at night time gardai have to work in pairs. The also carry pepper spray, something which taxi drivers are not allowed have.
If working at night was the same as day they wouldn’t have the pairing system.
That young pup deserves the mother and father of a bating when caught..
Wow must admire her bravery for refusing to hand over the keys. May not always have worked out so well. But she definitely showed that chap there’s no messing with her.
I admire her bravery but it was a silly thing to do
This type of crime is going on a weekly basis in dublin. Noting new here
Women taxmen are not that uncommon now.
Women taximen are not that uncommon now.
Bit of an echo here ;)
Here.
Women taxi men maybe even women taxi drivers
Why make a point of the taxi driver’s gender? Is it relevant?
Yes
How?
Fair play for standing her ground. Little cowardly asswipe.
Wow a female taxi driver. It is so amazing that it must be put in the headline
When i saw the title. I new it was up north
Brendan ere you implying that such acts don’t happen south of the border???
Shouldn’t have made any difference if the driver was a man or woman it shouldn’t be happening , why can’t a judge make a statement and send the next attacker down for at least 5 years and this might stop it ?
but unfortunately it is always the case. weaker taxi driver are the easy target.
have your say