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How to support a bereaved person at Christmas

This time of year can be particularly difficult for someone who has lost a loved one.

LAST MONTH THEJOURNAL.IE looked at death and dying from an Irish perspective.

During our Last Rites series, Dr Susan Delaney, bereavement services manager with the Irish Hospice Foundation, spoke to us about how people can best support those dealing with a death.

“In bereavement any day can be a bad day,” Susan says.

However, she notes that Christmas can be a particularly difficult time for some bereaved people.

The run up to 25 December can see us bombarded with “images of happy families that are apparently having amazing Christmases and never fight…it can add to the loneliness”, she says.

Here, Susan gives advice on what people can do to help someone bereaved at Christmas:

Orla Ryan / YouTube

Video: Órla Ryan/Aoife Barry

For more information on dealing with bereavement, visit Bereaved.ie.

bereaved

You can read more from our Last Rites series here.

Read: Everything you wanted to know about grief but were too afraid to ask

Advice: What to say – and not say – to a friend who is recently bereaved

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17 Comments
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    Mute The Galway Crusader
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 4:15 PM

    What will they be basing the calculated Grades on? These students won’t have done any 5th year exams (due to Covid this last year) and no mock LC (from Covid this year).
    99% of LC students in a regular year would take your hand off for calculated grades. The State Examinations commission need to start planning for an open book exam rather than teachers handing out grades with little to no basis for the result given

    69
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    Mute Sean Higgins
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 4:54 PM

    @The Galway Crusader: There is only one viable solution. Rock, Paper, Scissors.

    32
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    Mute Thomas Armstrong
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 5:52 PM

    @The Galway Crusader: I agree 100% with you. They haven’t sat down and done a Final end year exam since there 2nd year 3rd was their Junior exam a State exam and none of these can be used. I know they sat 2 Christmas exams but what could be asked of them in each of these test exams. Have they completed even 8months of schooling since all Lockdown’s. Home schooling is new to them unless you are a border. They go to the study hall each night and I say would find it easier to adopt than day students. I do think they have to seat the Leaving but I do fear for them unless they study pass papers in their courses it may be the only way for them to get thegrade they need if the exams are held in June.

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    Mute Declan Doherty
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 4:49 PM

    Good on Reuben Murray. That young man would run rings around the minister with his mature approach to this situation. She should take note. The LC isn’t going to happen. We just need Norma to wake up and realise that.

    42
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    Mute Tony Gordon
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 4:45 PM

    Junior certs student THE FORGOTTEN
    No info on mocks and juniors cert, children facing into state exam for the first time don’t even get a mention, no dates, no update NOTHING.

    it isn’t just leaving cert students.

    30
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    Mute Jonnie Marre
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 4:48 PM

    @Tony Gordon: junior cert is irrelevant! Forget it! It won’t happen and should be scrapped fully anyway.

    79
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    Mute Tony Gordon
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 6:19 PM

    @Jonnie Marre: I’m glad you think having a child locked up going through the exact same experience as someone heading into the leaving cert, stressed out of their minds irrelevant.

    Sure who cares about them.

    12
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    Mute Jules
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 4:43 PM

    It makes more sense to move to a continuous assessment model. Perhaps the journal could run a poll on the topic, just a suggestion.

    29
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    Mute Lydia McLoughlin
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 5:04 PM

    @Jules: agreed as next years leaving is also going to be affected here at this rate.

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    Mute Maria Heraty
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 4:50 PM

    Why not do an exam as planned but half the curriculum….if they have 30 chapters do the first 15 chapters and same for every subject ….. at lease half the pressure but still some form of an exam in the end …. to much missed school for the normal LC to go ahead

    17
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    Mute Eoghan Joyce
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 6:23 PM

    @Maria Heraty: chapters? The days of teaching directly out of the book are long gone, thankfully.

    13
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    Mute Thomas Armstrong
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 6:25 PM

    @Maria Heraty: Would the student’s still have to answer the same amount of questions or half plus you would be taking away half of the curriculum that more then likely would be a favorite for a lot of students and be banking on answering 1 or 2 questions on those. I fear this question won’t be answered today or by the Minister if your idea was presented but its a start. I would like to see our teachers & TD’s do what you just did “Give an alternative”

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    Mute Dino Manning
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 5:13 PM

    The junior cert is gone! It’s junior cycle now! All higher and ordinary gone in all subjects except for maths English and Irish and even they have been made easier! Only common level in all the others! Sure it’s only a joke of a thing nowadays

    17
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    Mute Tony Gordon
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 6:17 PM

    @Dino Manning: Like you to say that to a stressed out teen.

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    Mute John Donnelly
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 8:16 PM

    No child should be stressed out about Junior Cert, where is the stress coming from?

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    Mute Joan O'Boyle Mitchell
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 9:33 PM

    In the North at the end of 5th year you do an exam on everything you studied that year, then that course work is over. In 6th year you study second half of A level and do exams at end of that year. 5th year exams called As and are then added together to give an overall A level mark. If for some reason you drop out after 5th year you still have a qualification.

    So it’s kind of like semesterisation that happens at plc and some Uni’s

    8
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    Mute Edward Ucator
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 7:47 PM

    Just a heads up, as an examiner I’d have received my application for this year by now from the SEC. They haven’t sent me anything yet. What do you make of that?

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    Mute Watchful Axe
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    Jan 22nd 2021, 6:59 PM

    You’d have to feel sorry for them, it’s basically an early experience of what third level is like, getting new material right up to the death fired at you in notes. On a normal year, most good teachers would have their subject fully covered before the mocks bar one or two bits.

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    Mute Seeking Truth
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    Jan 23rd 2021, 10:06 AM

    Could they possibly do in-school mocks in April to build on their calculated grades, and then see about the actual Leaving Cert?

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