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Mother who relapsed and went on 'cocaine session' wants children back

The children’s social worker said there is a plan in place to return the children to the mother’s care if she engages with drug user services.

A COURT WAS told that a mother whose children are in State care relapsed after going out on a “session”.

A social worker for the young children said the mother, who has drug issues, relapsed and her urine tested positive for cocaine.

The mother indicated to the social worker that she had gone on a “session” but said she was back attending her therapies.

Tested positive for drugs 

The court was told that the mother had never missed a visitation with her children except for the incident where she tested positive for drugs.

The children’s social worker said the mother was correct to not present for the access visit on the day she was under the influence of drugs.

Their social worker said the young children had settled in well at their new homes and got on very well with the children of their foster parents.

The children were told the reason their mother missed the visit was because she was unwell. The social worker said the children did not like being asked questions about their mother.

The mother consented for the care order of her two children to be extended.

Attending rehab 

The court was told that there was a clear reunification plan in place and that steps were being made for further engagement with rehabilitation and mental health services for the mother.

The court was told the father had not been present for some time and his address is unknown. The judge said that he was satisfied based on the evidence that the interim care order be extended.

“Hopefully, mother can continue with the services being provided,” said the judge.

Read: I chose to put my four children through private secondary school, here’s why>

Read: I love a drink but I don’t want to end up like my dad: an alcoholic and alone>

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55 Comments
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    Mute Darren Mccarthy
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    Dec 29th 2015, 10:32 PM

    Addicted is no joke, i see it every day at work. Sadly if you relapse once then you can easily relapse again. These children need to be heavily monitored if returned to their mother.

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 29th 2015, 10:37 PM

    Yes and I’d hope the plan would involve a very slow process of reintroduction into each others lives as often the pressure of being a parent again triggers relapses.

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    Mute Maire Ui Riain
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:13 PM

    Never eve return them

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:24 PM

    I’ll grant you it’s not terribly common, but some do turn their lives around and are now responsible loving parents.

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    Mute jenni
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:25 PM

    Unfortunately I agree with you Maire..those kids can only expect an up and down life if they are given back, more down than up. Its very sad to say..but they would probably be better off away from their mum. And thats a heartbreaking thing to say.

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:33 PM

    if people genuinely turn their lives around and believe me, some actually do, they deserve a second chance. A lot of the people I have worked with themselves grew up in care homes or had a history of abuse, most didn’t just decide one day to become addicted to whatever they took, all too often, to avoid a life of hell that they were living. These people are not bad people and I believe they are at least due a second chance as often they were dealt a hand that let them very little choice but to become addicts. Nothing is ever black and white I think.

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    Mute Ken Pepper
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:58 PM

    well said

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    Mute Sinead Hanley
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    Dec 30th 2015, 12:40 AM

    Its sad but true. I knew a girl who was fond of the coke and then had a son. She turned her life around but went on a “night out” and overdosed. Terribly sad for the little fella and her parents are bringing him up now

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    Mute jenni
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    Dec 30th 2015, 12:48 AM

    Sinead..unfortunately this happens too often. Its awful.

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    Mute John B
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    Dec 30th 2015, 6:07 AM

    Dell, and now that this women has had her second chance, do you want to give her a third?

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 30th 2015, 2:14 PM

    John if this woman was your daughter, sister or mother, would you like to see her given another chance?

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    Mute John B
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    Dec 31st 2015, 3:42 PM

    Dell, of course it would change my opinion, however my thoughts, even if it is my family member are irrelevant in my opinion, all that matters is the right of that child to have the best life they can. Why is it that when you are under 18 years if age that your rights take second place?

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    Mute Dell
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    Jan 1st 2016, 2:21 AM

    Ah they don’t John. More often than not these kids see their parents in two lights.. Their mum and the addict.. They love their mum and they want her back and they would prefer to be with her than in foster care, no matter how loving their foster parents are.. Most kids I’ve spent time with want their parents to get as many chances as possible.. I’ve come across some parents that I thought would never come good and they didn’t and then some that surprised the hell out of me and did. it was not so long ago that the state, through church owned institutions took children from mothers who they perceived to be ill equipped for motherhood or unfit. sinners, adulterer etc. I’ll grant you that there are definitely unfit parents out there but people do change and after 15 years they still surprise me. Having grown up in a very abusive home myself, I would be the last person to advocate children’s needs coming second but most of the kids I’ve met want their parents to get second and third chances so that they can have them back. Should we not try help them achieve that? 2015 was my last year doing this work, I loved it and hated it, I lost a loved one this year and decided it’s time to do something less heartbreaking and stressful. I miss it but it’s time to move on.

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 29th 2015, 10:22 PM

    Poor kids. I see this kind of thing often. And all too often there is no father on the scene and despite what commentators on here would have you believe, no one is hunting him down to pay maintenance or to live up to his parental responsibilities.

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    Mute JimmyMc
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    Dec 29th 2015, 10:56 PM

    Father should be there to give his full support, unquestionable. Genuine question though, who exactly would be responsible for hunting him down, or what would be the procedure?

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:12 PM

    I’ve actually never seen it happen and I’ve done years of work with at risk kids and families so I couldn’t tell you to be honest. I just know that whenever an abortion debate occurs, commentors on here use the argument that men are made take responsibility financially at least for their children. That may be the case in family Courts where the father wants access rights or whatnot but I have never seen it happen with any of the people I’ve helped and worked with. that doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen I guess, I’ve just never seen it.

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    Mute Maire Ui Riain
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:13 PM

    He’s probably another junkie

    39
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    Mute jenni
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:39 PM

    Dell..are you actually saying you have worked with instable families, where kids have been removed for safety reasons, and you put it all down to the abortion debate?..and thats why kids in vulnerable positions are where where they are. Shame on you.

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:51 PM

    No Jenni, that’s what you read into what I’m saying. I was saying that as an aside, commentors on here use the argument that men are made be involved in their children’s lives financially when they are arguing against women having reproductive rights. I was saying that I’ve never seen that happen. And also this from a woman who believes no one deserves a second chance, shame doesn’t lie with me Jenni, it lies with you and your unforgiving, judgmental attitude.

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    Mute jenni
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    Dec 30th 2015, 12:34 AM

    Thays a whole two different arguments. And absolutely unfair. Did you post your point on the other article..no you did not. Well you cannot have it both ways..when you walk in the paths of others. Then you get to make an opinion.

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 30th 2015, 12:39 AM

    What the hell are you on about? If you are talking about the article on abortion, yes I did express my views on there. Might I suggest you walk in the path of others before you start spewing rubbish about shame, thank you very much.

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 30th 2015, 12:46 AM

    Oh and given that I’m the one advocating second chances and you writing people off without actually knowing them or their circumstances, it’s rich that you would preach to me about walking in the paths of others. Also everyone, that is everyone is entitled to an opinion Jenni, no matter what path they walk on

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    Mute jenni
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    Dec 30th 2015, 1:02 AM

    Absolutely Dell. Everyone is entitled to an opinion. I would never ever dispute that. Can i just point out that seeing as you dont know me, you dont know what paths I have walked? But I have been down some long roads.

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 30th 2015, 1:06 AM

    And you don’t know me yet you jumped to conclusions about me.

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    Mute jenni
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    Dec 30th 2015, 1:23 AM

    Emm. No I didnt. If anything, as I said above, I think we both would like to see the same outcome, which would be the best for the kids. We can agree on that. That does not mean I made any opinion of you.

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 30th 2015, 1:43 AM

    Eh you did that whole shame on you thing… A tad over the top and judgmental don’t you think?

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 30th 2015, 1:46 AM

    Oh and not quite the same outcome… I also want the best outcome for the adult and believe they deserve a second chance.

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    Mute Celtic Fern
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    Dec 30th 2015, 2:53 AM

    Social workers having a cat fight on the Journal , if you read into their comments you’ll see it’s always ‘what they want’ . egotistical profession,’ if that.

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 30th 2015, 4:07 AM

    I’m not a social worker. I am however entitled to my opinion. I work in a career that supports people who want help. Have you got a problem with that celtic fern.?

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 30th 2015, 4:11 AM

    You clearly have some kind of issue with social workers which maybe you should take up with actual social workers. I support people who ask for help, how in hells name is that all about what I want?

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    Mute Daniel De Síne
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    Dec 30th 2015, 10:02 AM

    Why don’t you advocate a 2nd chance for the innocent unborn child before you decide to support abortion. Or are they only foetus which are easily disposed of without a 2nd thought. Such hypocrisy!!!!

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 30th 2015, 2:36 PM

    Why don’t you visit a rape crisis centre and talk to a 14 year old girl who is pregnant or spend some time with a mother of 6 with a husband she is terrified of who can’t actually afford to feed the children she has who is also pregnant or how about when you grow a womb and experience what it is to have an unplanned pregnancy and no financial or mental or emotional support you get back to me on hypocrisy!

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 30th 2015, 2:38 PM

    I don’t advocate that any of these people should have abortions, I believe though that they should have the choice to do so.

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    Mute Kelly Duffy
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    Dec 30th 2015, 1:30 AM

    I was on drugs and had 2 kids taking into care and given to my family. I never missed a visit got clean and got my kids back. I’ve now been of drugs off any sort and completely clean for 8 years and have an amazing family with my partner. People change.

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 30th 2015, 1:40 AM

    Well done kelly. You are an inspiration and deserve to be proud of what you have achieved.

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    Mute George Hogan
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    Dec 30th 2015, 6:54 AM

    Fantastic achievement Kelly, well done!!!!

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    Mute f m
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    Dec 30th 2015, 7:23 AM

    Fantastic achievement ??
    Woman helps her kids. Why is that fantastic ? It’s the norm to help your kids.
    If an addict really wanted their kids they wouldn’t be an addict. Most people would lay down their lives for their children and yet this addict won’t even give up taking drugs
    The children deserve a chance to live a life without ending up being an addict themselves. This will only happen without being near the addict.
    She’s only a mother in name anyway. She chose drugs over her children and now should live with that decision. Simple
    How much money is wasted trying to help people who don’t really care. Most of them will relapse anyway. Let them at it; but as a society we have to take the children away from it.

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    Mute Martin Gallagher
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    Dec 30th 2015, 9:56 AM

    Sorry fm but that doesn’t sound very Christian of you. People can find themselves in serious trouble for whatever reason, drugs, depression, alcohol, gambling etc. In the case of Kelly’s comment I would think that having reached such a nadir it might also have been the starting point when she began to reclaim her life and family too. Bravo Kelly, I say.

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    Mute neil carroll
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    Dec 30th 2015, 2:13 PM

    well done Kelly my daughter was taken 2 weeks after she was born from her mum sadly her mum died 2 years later when my daughter was taken in to care I was in rehab and had to agree with the order to keep my baby safe. 11 years later she’s with my mum still who got a new lease on life at 65 and I am after finishing level 5 addiction studies and hoping to move on to level 7 this year… not one here hasn’t made a mistake just tend to dumb theirs down as justification and rationalization is massive character defects

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    Mute Kelly Duffy
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    Dec 30th 2015, 2:56 PM

    Sorry to hear that I was extremely lucky I had support from my family. It was never a forced decision it was my choice I was a mammy and they were my baby’s. I made mistakes but I got there in the end through the blood sweat and tears. But the person I am today is because of my past.

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    Mute jenni
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    Dec 29th 2015, 10:21 PM

    Theres always ‘a plan’. A plan wont help the children involved.

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:56 PM

    Have you worked in this field? do you think that there should be no plan and the children taken from their parents never to be returned and the parents left Without help or rehabilitation? What exactly are you advocating? that nothing be done to at least try help people???

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    Mute jenni
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    Dec 30th 2015, 12:24 AM

    Not in all circumstances, off course a few can be helped, and that is admirable. But lets be honest here..there are kids of absolute junkies out there, and they should not be given back, they are merely used for social welfare payments, and that is dispicable. Yes I do have experience in this type of work, and I do have a clue as to what I am talking about. And I do think, under certain circumstances, especially drugs, kids should be removed. End off. And theres not one sane person on this site would disagree.

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 30th 2015, 12:33 AM

    I never said they shouldn’t be removed Jenni. Not all can be helped but all deserve the opportunity. None of us really know who can and will take that opportunity and make good out of it and even if it’s just one in ten thousand it’s still worth trying.

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    Mute jenni
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    Dec 30th 2015, 12:43 AM

    Dell..we obviously have different approaches to the issue .but we would both like a similar outcome. Cudos.

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    Mute Richie C
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:03 PM

    At least someone’s having a white Christmas wha? Wha!?

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    Mute Al-Right
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    Dec 30th 2015, 12:47 AM

    You’re one sick individual!

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    Mute cormac o connell
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:16 PM

    All the PC Liberal brigade will be out demanding the kids be returned. In The USA she would never get them back

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    Mute Rashers Tierney
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    Dec 30th 2015, 1:22 AM

    G ob shite

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    Mute Séamus O'Keeffe
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    Dec 30th 2015, 6:05 AM

    Of course people can change their lives for the better. You simply cannot put down blanket logic and say that every abuser of drugs, be it alcohol, cocaine or whatever, will not change.

    My life was thrown into chaos four years ago when I became addicted to painkillers (OxyContin) after a major operation. Lost my job, wife and way of life as a result. But I have managed to turn my life around and am now back in full time employment and working on reconciling with my wife.

    Of course some people out there can never kick their addiction, but some can, some do and have. To read some of the comments that state to the effect ‘once a junkie, always a junkie’ shows to me, at least. That there is a lot of ignorance out there in terms of addiction.

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    Mute Maire Ui Riain
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:13 PM

    Junkies rarely recover. Why torture the children….if it was a dog, cat or horse….they’d get more media support and a bigger wave of public support….

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    Mute Dell
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:22 PM

    Ive seen it happen. One or two actually did such a good turn around that they themselves became addiction counsellors and support people for others. Their kids love them and most want to be with their parents, albeit without them using.

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    Mute Paddy Kavanagh
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    Dec 29th 2015, 11:56 PM

    i feel no remorse for these people. get clean and stay that way. then maybe down the line they might get their kids back

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    Mute paddy
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    Dec 30th 2015, 2:16 AM

    she should be sterilised

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    Mute Louise Ní Riain
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    Dec 29th 2015, 10:58 PM

    Mind boggles

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