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HUGH GRANT HAS a new movie out this summer and it got me thinking about how far he’s come, and how some would say he is now part of the Hollywood elite.
Hugh’s well respected, been in high-grossing movies and has a career spanning 30 odd years. Yes, he’s made mistakes but he’s bounced back. And we can learn a lot about handling mistakes from how he’s handled one mistake in particular.
Cast your mind back 21 years to his dalliance with Divine Brown. This in 1995 was shocking, yet Hugh handled it brilliantly. He released a statement the very next day saying sorry and took his punishment (a $1,000 fine and attending an Aids education programme).
He also appeared on Jay Leno where he apologised again and was publically mocked and shamed. While on with Leno he said “you know in life what’s a good thing to do and a bad thing to do. I did a bad thing”. He took it on the chin and moved on.
We all make mistakes - it’s how we handle them that makes a difference
Now things don’t always go swimmingly at work. Deadlines get missed, a customer isn’t happy, there’s a misunderstanding with a colleague. Our cockups are a little less racy than Hugh’s but how we deal with them shouldn’t differ a whole lot.
Like good customer service, sometimes a mistake handled well can be better than normal solid service. It depends on how you handle it.
If you do make a cock-up the first thing to do is try get out ahead of it. Own up quickly. Don’t wait for your boss to come to you. Figure out what happened and what you’re going to do to fix it. Maria Sharapova attempted this last week, announcing her failed drug test herself, fronting up and trying to stay ahead of the story. (Although, her issue may be too much for most people).
Depending on the magnititude of the error the key, if not the only, question is: will the apology be accepted?
Of course, if we raid the company bank account, no matter how good the apology, is we’ll be packing our bags. (And meeting members of An Garda Siochana shortly afterwards.) However, thankfully, the errors we make are rarely, if ever, so egregious.
Saying ‘I’m sorry’
For an apology to work it needs to be more than “I’m sorry”. The perfect apology has four steps. Call them the four “A”s.
Apology. The “I’m sorry” bit. Straightforward. No ifs, buts or maybes. No conditions, mitigating factors or modifiers. Just “I did it and I’m sorry.”
Acknowledging. This aspect of the apology demands that you elucidate precisely what was wrong with what you did, and acknowledge, also, the damage you directly or indirectly, caused. “I’m sorry for…”
Attending. If apologising in work (or anywhere) the person saying “sorry” must attend to those offended/hurt/. You have to wallow in it. Spend time with the apology. Make the other side know that you register the damage and hurt done to them.
Action. This is where reparation comes in. Payback time. You seek to make amends to everybody you damaged along the way.
The same in work if you mess up. Tell your boss you’re sorry, acknowledge what you did, figure out a way to fix it and a plan to make sure it never happens again. Hugh Grant pretty much gave us the blue-print.
You get your good reputation back through delivery, and from the fact that you clearly learned from your mistake. Doing the job better than you did before.
Eoghan McDermott is a Director of The Communications Clinic and is Head of Training and Careers there. www.communicationsclinic.ie. Follow him on Twitter @EoghanMcDermott.
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He was cought with a hooker 21 years ago. You d swear it as murder
Eddie Murphy had a worse scandal…
Divine Brown also shook it off and took it on the chin.
On the chin???
Yes, we need the Communications experts to teach us how to fake contrition.
Very few politicians or powerful peole ever admit error or mistakes.
sometimes you just need to come out and say “yes, we were wrong and it was wrong to bully people”. we are still waiting, communications clinic, but in the meanwhile, let’s brush it under the carpet and get all this work with thejournal and today fm. remember, eoghan – don’t be the story, and don’t be blatantly hypocritical.
Didn’t do Liz Hurleys ‘career’ any harm either….
Let me guess he’s playing a socially awkward love struck loner in the new film…as usual
Or just don’t get a @@@@@@b in a public car park if you’re a major star, thereby avoiding the need to apologise
Quite right. Or drive a car with blacked-out windows. There’s nothing wrong with a fella getting a bj, but he broke the Eleventh Commandment: Don’t get caught!
WTF is the point of this article?
Jaysus.
I kind of get it but maybe it should be in the business section. What had me confused was bringing up Hugh Grant, there must be more current celebrities stories to pull from than that. I thought Hugh Grant did something today because of the head line. Also I really think if that happened today there wouldn’t be a huge demand for n apology. I don’t see why getting a hooker is such a huge deal that you have to apologise to strangers for it. Sure he broke the law but that’s his private life. So yea, even a better analogy than the Hugh Grant story would have been more relevant to the message.
I made a mistake once……..’86 I think it was….
Some companies have a No mistake culture. I own up to my mistakes pretty much the way outlined in the article and it has worked well for me. However I know of one high pressure environments in a certain workplace where the first person on the team to admit the mistake to the boss and that things weren’t going well was subsequently let go. Nobody backs down in there anymore over the most blatant and obvious small mistakes.
Productivity is zero.
How does an employee cope with such obviously poor management?
This article is improved tenfold if you read it as Alan Partridge
Its strange the way laws differ around the world if he had sex with a Prostitute in Holland or Australia were its legal would it still of been such a big story or full stop a famous person using Prostitutes is a big story.
the issue was getting arrested for kerb crawling, not using prostitutes. it was the seedy and unnecessary element of it that publicity worthy. to this day, it could still be a staged publicity event.
Didn’t he famously say “to err is human…” and had to stop himself mid sentence?
Fr. Jack had a famous “sorry” as well lol.
Take drumm and some of our equally irresponsible politicians. Drumm single handedly didn’t cause the financial crisis. Some politicians were equally negligent. They should be prosecuted too, some of these guys are getting away with murder and the culture in irish politics is not to take responsibility for anything, which is disgraceful behavior.
Show this to the bankers.
” If you do make a COCK up, the first thing to do is try to get out aHEAD of it” Awh come on journel it was 21 years ago. No need for the little reminders between the lines
Cockups !!very appropriate word considering the piece is about Hugh Grant but hey its 21yrs ago and makes no since in that article.
You didn’t get the AHEAD ref donna
The only time I say sorry as it seems is trying to pass those who always have their shopping trollies in the way like blind and deaf eejits in the shopping aisles, they do be in another world. Then they don’t answer you, the only one who does is a shelf stacker with his big ladder in the way as well and between the both of them they have the aisle blocked… Feels like Robot Wars when shopping sometimes…
Kate Fitzgerald.
But what happens if your blamed for something that was not your fault. As some people rather blame a stranger than their friends, passing the buck is great with some people as when they do wrong they try to pass it onto something or somebody else.
The reason something starts is never the excuse that is used, people will find any excuse to pass the buck or to keep it going because they need to or because they get something from it?
Look at the Birmingham Six and then read that, plenty of stories like that… Even to workplace bullies.
So David Drumm should just say sorry and thats okay!!!
The others got off and so will he…
He got his bag of coal. He should have been hanged drawn and quartered
Alternatively…if you’re absolutely certain you can cover your ass and get away with it then do it……….
what people don’t know won’t hurt them.
have your say