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'A tragedy beyond our understanding': The murmur of a community in mourning

Crowds made their way up to the small, ancient church to say their farewells to the Hawe family.

THE ROAD THAT leads to St Mary’s Church, Castlerahan, looks like no one has driven along it in decades. Stone-walled ruins and picturesque cottages are dotted along either side of the road which is barely more than one-car wide.

Eventually, the route’s overgrown ditches open up into a small clearing, busy with cars, ushers and people.

The crunching sound of feet on gravel fills the air as the crowds make their way to the small and ancient church to say farewell to the Hawe family.

Brothers Liam, Niall, and Ryan, who attended the primary school across the road from the church where their funeral will be held. Parents Alan and Clodagh, pillars of the community and local teachers who were married for 15 years.

Students in navy school jumpers hug each other’s waists, and altar assistants, some of whom went to school with Liam, wait patiently outside the church, which is surrounded by evergreen trees and hundreds of mourners.

The hearses arrive by garda escort along the winding road. As the hearse carrying Liam’s coffin makes its way through the church gates, it stalls, and after five minutes it still won’t start.

While four men in white shirts carry Liam’s coffin up from outside the church gate, we’re reminded that the scale of this tragedy is almost too great for the community to bear. The four hearses barely fit around the church’s grounds.

3/9/2016. Hawe Family Funeral. The bodies of the H Eamonn Farrell Eamonn Farrell

Earlier that day, a newly-wed bride walked down the aisle with her husband – hours later a mother’s coffin is carried up that same aisle and placed in front of the church altar: side-by-side with her three sons and her husband.

Family members place items on the children’s coffins: a basketball on Liam’s, a sporting trophy on Niall’s, and on the youngest, Ryan’s, a “woolly dog with appealing eyes”.

Father Felim Kelly, a close friend of Alan’s, addressed the confusion and disbelief that the church teeming with mourners were dealing with:

We all are trying to cope with a tragedy beyond our understanding.

Throughout the requiem mass, students, colleagues, family and friends call for prayer, love, and strength. Members of the Ballyjamesduff community listen in through the doors of the church and to the outside speaker. Elderly men with their hands in their pockets, heads hung deep in thought; daughters holding their mothers’ hands.

After the funeral, the congregation inside the church merged with those listening outside and followed the coffins being carried to the adjoining graveyard.

They form a giant square around the Hawe’s final resting place.

Husbands hugged their wives close to them, while men in suits lowered the coffins into the ground. A boy cries while his father pulls his hood around his head, to protect him from the threatening sky.

Five doves are released from a basket and disappear over the treeline, while the priest asked the congregation to join him in prayer:

“Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name…”

As the community make their way home, driving their cars back down that small rural road, the heavens open up and the clouds that had seemed so threatening before broke their silence, covering Ballyjamesduff in a blinding rain and mist.

The awful truth of this terrible tragedy is that we may never know why this family of five, pillars of the community, salt of the earth people, are gone.

Read: ‘How can so much goodness be destroyed?’: Hundreds of mourners attend Hawe family funeral

Read: Four hearses on a country road: a community in anguish at suspected murder-suicide

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62 Comments
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    Mute Anna Kavanagh
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    Sep 4th 2016, 11:32 AM

    I’m angry beyond words! Alan Hawe has got away with murder. At his funeral mass, the priest instead of condemning the murder of a mother and three children described “Alan standing with his back to the kitchen sink, totally at ease, enjoying the bean an ti and the antics of unspoiled and respectful sons – though it must be said that Ryan, the youngest, had the eyes of a rogue.” Fr Kelly went on to say that “is not for us to seek answers or to surmise about behaviour.”
    I totally disagree. I know that it was a dreadful situation for the family present but it was up to Father Kelly to send out a very clear message that what Alan did was evil in the extreme but that we believe in a merciful God.
    Can you imagine the message sent out to hundreds of other women around Ireland trapped in a similar situation to Clodaghs. All week Alan Hawe has been canonised in the Irish media. Terms like “wiped out” have been used instead of the word “murdered”. Hawe was described as “a valuable member of the community”, “very committed” and “the most normal person you could meet”. We were told that Mr Hawe was “quiet and a real gentleman”, by one representative of the local council.
    His brother talked about his big passion, handball: he’d “won a number of titles”, “played from about eight years of age” and used to play “with his brother and his cousin”. A neighbour offers more praise: “He was the sole person who would do anything for anybody at any time of day or night. He was very obliging.”

    There have been 24 murder-suicide cases in Ireland since 2004 with the loss of 36 children. However no proper record is being kept. Alan Hawe’s death will be recorded as suicide and the murder of his wife Clodagh and three children will be recorded as homicide alongside those from criminal gangs that died this year. The media circus that descended on Cavan this week has already packed up and left and there will scarcely be a word ever again about Hawe’s savagery. The media and the Catholic Church has lost its sense of outrage and in particular the Church has lost its moral compass.Alan Hawe has got away with murder. Don’t be surprised if you see a huge increase in the number of women and children being murdered in similar circumstances in the years ahead!

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    Mute Suzie Sunshine
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:46 PM

    Chris , maybe the families didn’t want all the details being brought up in church at the funeral? He would’ve spoken to them beforehand and he would’ve respected the wishes and decisions the families expressed to him ..

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    Mute Ava Emc
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:48 PM

    I don’t agree with you about the priest. He was told to say mass the way the family wanted. The reality here is that the shocked family are still in massive shock at the moment and there are young people, cousins of those three boys. I do not agree with saying he was a nice man but he was a friend to many in the community. I do not agree with the family being buried together but the remaining family are trying to deal with it in their own way and give them a break, they are damn shocked at the moment. Just see the photos of the aunts, uncles, grandmothers and cousins. It is obvious they are in shock.

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    Mute Con O Sullivan
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:57 PM

    Alan, Is that the best you can do that to engage in Catholic bashing on this tragic occasion. Brendan Smith has nothing to do with the terrible event No one will ever know what entered Alan Haw’s mind which made his kill his wife and children. What we cannot understand we should not judge

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    Mute Sinead Hanley
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    Sep 4th 2016, 1:13 PM

    Con.. i am a practising Catholic and i have to agree with Anna and Chris.. This isnt Catholic bashing. The priest should come forward and CONDEMN the actions of his friend. Instead we are treated to the bull of how incredible he was. As we speak there are men kicking lumps out of their wives, is this something we shouldnt judge either. Alan Hawe has you fooled. I am disgusted with the priest, the media for all the glowing tributes to this murderer. Imagine the terror that his family went through Con. Imagine the crying of his children. Do you still think we should not judge???

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    Mute
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    Sep 4th 2016, 1:52 PM

    I am surprised with all the people on Alan’s side that it is called a murder suicide at all. I mean they are making out he lost his mind and thus saying that it was not murder at all. Killing yes but not culpable. The do-gooders like to say they don’t know what was in his mind but he did take steps to let the world know. The letter he left will say what it was. The do-gooders do not focus much on what it must have been like for three boys seeing their father armed with a knife.

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    Mute Con O Sullivan
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    Sep 4th 2016, 3:19 PM

    Sinead. I totally respect your view, but was Alan Hawe is sound mind when he murdered his family. Was the sermon planned with both Alan’s and Clodagh’s family. I was surprised that all the Hawe family were buried together but that was the wishes of Clodagh Hawe’s family. I know it was desperate for the young boys and wife of a man beloved of them turning into a monster. but was he totally unhinged at that stage. I will leave judgement those who are closest to this shattered family

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    Mute Turlough Conway
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    Sep 4th 2016, 4:22 PM

    Con here is a significant British study of
    Past cases of murder suicide.
    http://www.wired.co.uk/article/family-killers
    In every case the male perpetrator had a proprietary outlook on his family.
    If you’re an open minded man, can you have a look and comment?

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    Mute Kelly Wild
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    Sep 4th 2016, 4:49 PM

    that’s right, what sort me message is this sending out? …. you can do what ever you want in life, murder, rape etc, its OK cos God will forgive you?!

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    Mute Fidelma Frewen
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    Sep 5th 2016, 12:18 AM

    I would just like to point out this is not the same bishop that over seen Brendan Smiths burial he has long since passed away

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    Mute bobs_your_aunt
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    Sep 4th 2016, 9:35 AM

    How many articles can you have about this. They’re buried now. Let them rest in peace.

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    Mute ARIS
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    Sep 4th 2016, 10:13 AM

    We have to learn from this otherwise it will keep happening. No more brushing this kind of stuff under the carpet. There needs to be a national enquiry into all such incidents in the last 10 years and put in place the required assistance to try to make this the last of its kind. Do so so many people suffering now……

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    Mute Em Ni Mhurchu
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    Sep 4th 2016, 10:40 AM

    Thank you Warren. It’s hard to believe so much has been written about this awful murder and almost all of it glosses over the fact that this was domestic violence at its worst.

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    Mute Boganity
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:26 PM

    I’ve been working the past week off the grid and the several articles I’ve read since my shift finished are quite confusing: what happened to this poor family ?

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    Mute Suzie Sunshine
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:49 PM

    Boganity what do you know so far? Because I’m sure you know pretty much the same as we do …

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    Mute Alan Scott
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:52 PM

    It’s so hard to understand why this fella was buried anywhere near his family that he so taken their lives I also feel the priest had a very hard job in keeping everyone together .

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    Mute Kelly Wild
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    Sep 4th 2016, 4:31 PM

    how can they rest in peace, they was murdered, a mother could not rest in peace knowing her children have been killed in cold blood

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    Mute Deirdre Doherty
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    Sep 4th 2016, 10:16 AM

    If he was suicidal why kill.his wife and kids. There’s more to this story . its so tragic.

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    Mute alive
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    Sep 4th 2016, 10:51 AM

    Her name is Clodagh

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    Mute LogicalSarah
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    Sep 4th 2016, 1:14 PM

    We know her name! Give this stupid feminist agenda #TimeAndPlace

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    Mute Flip off
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    Sep 4th 2016, 3:00 PM

    I find this feminist agenda hijacking absolutely grotesque

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    Mute Amy Smith
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:25 PM

    I’m sick of Alan Hawe being described as the “pillar of the community” as if that somehow excuses him for murdering his wife and three sons.

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    Mute Alan Scott
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:58 PM

    Amy there’s times in everyone’s life is to shut up and say nothing on this occasion. I agree with you as to why people seem to be accepting this guy knowing what he did to his family .

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    Mute Peter
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    Sep 4th 2016, 8:44 PM

    Most male annihilators are upstanding, productive members of society.

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    Mute Turlough Conway
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:45 PM

    Every study on murder/suicide states that the unifying factor among male perpetrators is a sense of ownership of partner and family. This study was carried out in UK on 2013 as a response to murder/suicide there.
    http://www.wired.co.uk/article/family-killers
    The media there have started to report honestly. Yesterday in the Irish times an article bemoaned that Irish society would not learn from this. Yet the article completely omitted to mention this proprietary attitude which would surely help society understand and would be hugely beneficial as a warning sign for potential victims. The article also claimed that 70% of female perpetrators and 30% male perpetrators had been in contact with a
    Professional in mental illness. Inexplicably the author omits the gender split among perpetrators which is 95/5 male to female which puts the mental health statistics in context (33% of total had seen a professional) and would be a vitally relevant statistic in its own right. Studies also reveal that often times a cause or aggravation of mental illness for male perpetrators is ‘resistance’ from those he is trying to control. Depression, if present can explain the suicide but his possessive attitude alone defines his decision to kill family with no consequences for him. It seems that even amongst the paper of record on an article purporting to enlighten Irish society, facts are been ited and distorted to support the default ‘good guy had mental blip’ story.

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    Mute Ava Emc
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:55 PM

    I don’t think people are stupid about this at all. The reality is that most people suspected what happened but the police need to be left alone to do their jobs. Then the truth will come out in time. God help the remaining families as they are so damn shocked with this.

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    Mute Turlough Conway
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    Sep 4th 2016, 1:05 PM

    Ava the guards do not have to solve a murder or establish motive here. They’re requirement is to prepare a report for the coroner at the inquest. If the Irish public and the media don’t speak out then the remembered ‘truth’ about this case will be a lie.

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    Mute Ava Emc
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    Sep 4th 2016, 3:01 PM

    Turlough, I know that but the reality is that the police has to do their job anyway even that we all know what had happened. Am sure the police knows full well what happened too but they can’t say it publicity. They are bound by confidentiality of their work.

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    Mute Turlough Conway
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    Sep 4th 2016, 4:03 PM

    Yes, but it means the truth won’t come out in time if people don’t speak out.

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    Mute Peter
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    Sep 4th 2016, 8:43 PM

    Spot on. Male annihilators – as they’re called – have a common set of characteristics and motives. Irish media coverage, including this article, has been mushy dross.

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    Mute Chris Kirk
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    Sep 4th 2016, 10:15 AM

    This sad case has made me think, that when I die I will have made my own arrangements for funeral and burial without the interferance of the church. It is a nonsense to thiink that a priest or bishop can have such a hold over people in this day and age, as reported that the curate was a friend of the murderer……right!

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    Mute Suzie Sunshine
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    Sep 4th 2016, 11:10 AM

    Chris , what hold had the priest got over the people.. everyone was this bloke friend . He had everyone fooled that he was this great guy ..

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    Mute Chris Kirk
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    Sep 4th 2016, 11:40 AM

    I take your point Suzie, living in a small rural community where everyone knows everybody and tradition carries on where people look up to priests and teachers (father & master). Older people go to mass every morning and attend all of the funerals along with the local politicians (parasites). The GAA is also held very strong in these rural communities. This is the pattern of lifestyle which people follow without giving much thought to what goes on elsewhere, where the local newspaper is the source of contact with the outside world aand people hang on every word regardless of how it is reported.. I know this because I live in a similar village not a million miles away from Castlerahan and read the same local newspaper, I even know some of the reporters (they don’t do journalism).

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    Mute Joey_Westland
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    Sep 4th 2016, 11:55 AM

    @Chris.
    You’re free to do as you please but the article is not about you so please respect the wishes of the family involved.

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    Mute Suzie Sunshine
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    Sep 4th 2016, 11:58 AM

    Chris , I agree with there .. I think because of who he was and how involved he was with community that there was really nowhere that he wife could turn for help . She must have been living in tertible fear while he portrayed himself as a pillar of the community .

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    Mute Chris Kirk
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:09 PM

    Maybe Suzie, who knows what goes on in private lives. I certainly didn’t know them and my comiserations are with everyone affected by this.

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    Mute Turlough Conway
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:14 PM

    And this article described him as a pillar of the community/salt of the earth.

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    Mute Ava Emc
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:53 PM

    The reality here is that the remaining family are still in massive shock at the moment. There is a lot of young people including the boy’s cousins are trying to take in the news. I don’t think the immediate people are stupid at all but are trying to make the best of a dreadful shocking situation. All the photos show that the remaining families are too damn shocked right now. Leave them be.

    17
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    Mute Con O Sullivan
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    Sep 4th 2016, 1:05 PM

    Chris. So this article is about you, is it . To have the Family buried after a Requiem Mass the local church was the families wishes. You can make what arrangements you wish, but again the article is not about you

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    Mute Alan Scott
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    Sep 4th 2016, 1:29 PM

    As a pillar of the community what pillar is higher than a family surley not sport . I don’t know anything about this man or his family what I know is from the media and the few neighbours who spoke about them as a family . I have a very hard time in understanding any of this from every angle.

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    Mute Barry Hogan
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:26 PM

    Please don’t describe this man as a pillar of the community Grainne.

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    Mute t
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:54 PM

    How could someone murder their own children? There is no excuse for this evil crime.

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    Mute Matt Beaumont
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    Sep 4th 2016, 3:50 PM

    He shouldn’t have been buried at all!

    He killed his whole family in cold blood, he was an evil person and that’s the end of it!

    All that ‘pillar of society’ crap is nothing but hot air, enforced by the Catholic Church in the good old Irish tradition that every dead man was a saint regardless of reality!

    I’m sick of this hypocrisy!

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    Mute Kelly Wild
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    Sep 4th 2016, 4:35 PM

    100% right!

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    Mute Catherine Mill
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    Sep 4th 2016, 7:30 PM

    Go into any DV court in Ireland and you will hear that the perpetrator is a pillar of society.
    You ask yourself ” What colour is the sky in their world.?

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    Mute Catherine Mill
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    Sep 4th 2016, 7:34 PM

    We’ve already seen that once crimes are reported, it’s a long road to prosecution and conviction, and the process can sometimes take years. Over the past few months a trend has become apparent in the way crimes against women are treated in Ireland by the courts. Lenient and inconsistent sentencing in particular is a concern, and I’ve detailed in this separate post just some of the more unacceptable examples of sentencing reported in the past few years. There are undoubtedly more, and the number of judges referenced indicates that this problem is ingrained in the judicial system.

    Sentencing is not the only problem. Take the case of Danny Foley, a bouncer from Listowel, who in 2009 was jailed for five years for sexually assaulting a 22 year-old woman. Before he was jailed, approximately 50 people in the courthouse lined up to embrace him and shake his hand – in front of his victim – before he was jailed. Foley later lost a bid to overturn the conviction.
    https://ancailinrua.com/2013/08/12/a-womans-worth-reporting-and-sentencing-of-violent-crimes-against-women/

    Plenty of court judgments here to see the truth about Ireland and its view of its women – breders.

    Wombmen are simply livestock under Law of the Holy See and men are charged with husbanding them like cows.

    Women and children are chattels – owned by men under patriarchy.

    https://ancailinrua.com/2016/02/12/a-womans-worth-part-ii-sentencing-for-violent-crimes-against-women-in-ireland/

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    Mute Turlough Conway
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    Sep 4th 2016, 8:17 PM

    Hi Matt, I agree with the sentiment. The British study also identified this socially revered type of killer. Not exclusively an Irish phenomena with different ‘pillars of society’ to occupy in different countries. The Catholic Church would be a particularly huge source of camouflage though obviously. Since that report which was widely covered by British media, reporting has improved since. The reporting may have been similar to Ireland before then.

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    Mute Tricia Lowry
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:08 PM

    It’s family/next of kin who make these decisions and usually meet with the priest celebrant to discuss what will be read/said at the service. Can we not respect the wishes of this family. If Clodaghs family are prepared to see them buried as a family who are we to talk. Alan Hawe has parents maybe brothers and sisters who have lost precious family as well the hate filled comments don’t help them or Clodaghs family. No one knows how they would deal with this horrible situation these families have chosen to unite in they’re grief.

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    Mute Deborah Behan
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    Sep 4th 2016, 1:33 PM

    They are not hate filled comments they are truthful comments about a man who killed his family. Not one person on here wants either families to suffer more but we cannot make these actions acceptable. They should be condemned in the harshest way. This is not acceptable.

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    Mute Turlough Conway
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    Sep 4th 2016, 4:12 PM

    Tricia, if the killer had murdered random school kids and a teacher who were not part of his family then you can be sure the priest would have been more forthcoming with condemnation at the killers funeral regardless of family wishes. It is when the man kills his own wife, his own children, that priests journalists and society go scrambling for excuses for him. Historical cases show that these men murder family because of a sense of ownership of family. Our culture accepts and excuses this brutality because it views family the same way.

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    Mute James Onedin
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    Sep 4th 2016, 11:06 AM

    Wonderful article, simple, to the point, poignant and painfully descriptive. Thanks Gráinne.

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    Mute Philip Howlin
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    Sep 4th 2016, 1:21 PM

    I am amazed at the amount of disrespect shown to the grieving families. So many people telling them how they should behave and grieve. Compounding their grief.

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    Mute Kelly Wild
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    Sep 4th 2016, 4:57 PM

    I don’t think anyone is telling them what to do, this is other peoples opinions, not disrespect at all, I doubt very much the family would be bothering to read any of this

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    Mute Chris Kirk
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    Sep 4th 2016, 12:06 PM

    Pull your horns in Joey, the article is an expression of people opinions, not about you either my friend.

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    Mute Con O Sullivan
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    Sep 4th 2016, 1:07 PM

    Chris, Or about you

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    Mute Helen Dempsey
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    Sep 4th 2016, 7:21 PM

    Alan must have been an amazing actor to have so many close to him fooled, the community and church are an outrage in the situation. This case has all the signs of a controlling, mind abusive bully who would have worked very hard to show everyone what an amazing husband and father he was!! Unfortunately, the message being delivered will only encourage women being abused to retreat and question their behaviour and security, who can they turn to……the church, the community, family……..These peoples daughter, grand children, cousins were murdered in their own home, brutally.

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    Mute Catherine Mill
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    Sep 4th 2016, 7:53 PM

    Yes, if I had known what I know now, I would never have come foreward re DV.

    Our abuser fooled the professionals, the judges etc

    One solicitor even said that the situation is 100 times worse now than 20 years ago because of all this fathers rights and them being pillars of society.

    Our younger women know what happened to us old ones who dared to come forward and they are wise not to end up legally abused by the very system paid to protect.

    No victim wants to be called liar, bitch, wrore etc in court – but it happens…..leaving the victim utterly retraumatised and all legal .

    Even when an Irish woman became the voice of EU/FRA in DV ….the powers that be silenced her—-and we know that because how many here saw her on video/TV. etc?

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HbaiBu9KBto

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    Mute Dusty Labamba
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    Sep 4th 2016, 5:22 PM

    Psychotropic drugs …although it will never be admitted too much money to be made

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    Sep 4th 2016, 3:06 PM

    Whenever a woman has murdered her children in this country, she has been presented by the media and viewed by the public in a very sympathetic light. Not usually one to engage in whatabouttery, just want to add some balance to the vitriol.

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    Mute Turlough Conway
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    Sep 4th 2016, 4:16 PM

    The idea that men kill intimate partners and family due to a sense of family ownership is backed by every study on murder/suicide. Just because you don’t like the truth doesn’t make it vitriolic.

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