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I WISH WE had understood more about how the hospice worked before we came to avail of its services. Though I can’t speak for my siblings, I knew nothing about palliative care beyond the idea that it involved minimising pain.
My father, Dr John G Goodbody, had been an anaesthetist. Over the course of his career he would have been involved in pain management with his own patients. During the course of his illness I realised, with some discomfort, that as a medical professional he knew exactly what was happening to his failing body. I didn’t envy him that but I was in awe of his pragmatism.
From his diagnosis with Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, right to the very end, he made sure to do exactly what he needed to do, from treatments and medication through to getting his affairs in order and ensuring my mother would be looked after.
On a number of occasions his GP suggested that he should go for respite to Blackrock Hospice, just down the road. He declined. He was determined to keep on keeping on. I believe he saw going to The Hospice as giving up.
The source of my regret
This is the source of my regret. From the experience we were to have later, and from what I have learned since, I know he could have benefited greatly from the palliative resources available to him.
I remember hearing that he had asked to be taken to Blackrock Hospice and, from then on, his decline was rapid. It was a decision that meant the battle was nearly over.
He was admitted on Thursday afternoon. By the time I got to him on the Friday he was unconscious, probably as a result of medication. The staff were amazing. I think I had expected a sombre and dour atmosphere but, on the contrary, everything was warm, friendly and welcoming.
I was struck by how unlike a hospital it was. There were open areas with comfortable seats, a play area for kids and his room was really nice – had he been awake he would have appreciated both the view through the window and the real paintings on the wall.
I remembered reading Bono’s account of his father’s death. He had asked the hospital if they would let him stay the night in his father’s room, something that had really helped him on the journey. I’m not a rock star but I thought it was worth asking.
The “Yes” was immediate and I was made to feel very comfortable. I didn’t get any sleep but a great deal was communicated through the long silence of the night.
I went home on the Saturday morning feeling that I’d said my goodbyes and that any subsequent time would be a bonus. It was to be two more days.
We could treat the hospice like a living room
On the Sunday, I brought my four-year old son to Blackrock. At one point he came into the room, from the play area, and drew over a stool to the edge of the bed. He then got up on the stool, held my father’s hand, leant over and kissed him on the forehead. That is a moment I will have forever. He then got down from the stool, dragged it back into place and went back to the play area as if it was all just a daily routine.
Throughout the course of that weekend, my family treated the hospice like a living room. We were losing someone we love very dearly but whose time had come. We were given the time and the place to reconcile ourselves to our loss and to be together at a milestone in our family story.
Greater awareness
This is Palliative Care Week 2016. Co-ordinated by the All Ireland Institute of Hospice and Palliative Care (AIIHPC), it aims to bring a greater awareness and deeper understanding of palliative care across the island of Ireland.
Given my experiences, and help that palliative care gave to me and my family, I am very happy to support the campaign and encourage people to use it as an opportunity to find out more.
The findings of a nationwide public awareness survey, commissioned by All Ireland Institute of Hospice and Palliative Care (AIIHPC), found that a greater awareness is needed.
The survey found that half of adults surveyed in Ireland (55%) said that they have a basic or minimal understanding of what palliative care involves. Eighty-five percent of respondents did not believe that there is sufficient public understanding of palliative care.
The Palliative Care Week campaign slogan is ‘Enabling Living’ to highlight the positive impact palliative care has on the quality of life of people living with a serious and progressive condition.
The key messages of the campaign are that Palliative Care:
I encourage people to learn more and to understand that palliative care has an important role to play to support both patients and their families.
Easy to understand videos, leaflets and links are all compiled at thepalliaitvehub.com
Denis Goodbody is the son of Dr John G Goodbody and told his story to us in order to highlight the major difference that palliative care made to the quality of life of his father and surrounding family.
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Cool article. The Brits are hilarious.
@Lisa Saputo: and they make your corps wait wks till burial . We just prefer a 3 day bender
Another tradition is one hundred years old this week, the tradition of Irish Republicans refusing to swear allegiance to the British queen and refusing to take their seats. Surely it’s time FG and FF put their money where their mouth is, run candidates in the north and take their seats in Westminster? Surely if they believe SF should take their seats then they would do the same? Surely they would win seats in the north after all they’ve done for Northern Nationalists? Surely!!
@European Bob: that tradition is not 100 years old. The tradition died out in 1921 when Ireland got its independence, but was started again in the 70s by a splinter faction of the Workers Party calling itself Sinn Fein.
@European Bob: calm down Shirley.
@European Bob: surely you can’t be serious?!
@Big Red: Actually the Workers Party came from Sinn Fein not the other way.
Sinn Fein split into Provisional and Official, the Officials became “Sinn Fein the workers party” then just “The workers Party” from which Democratic Left split, who then merged with (took over) Labour. I think The Workers Party is still around, but I believe that Thomas McGiolla was the last to be elected to any major position.
@European Bob: slight lack of understanding what a republic is, there Bob. A office holder of a republic cannot swear alligeance to any royal of any origin or to any other power that does not eminate for the people of that republic. FF, FG or anyone considering that would have to form an external party, taking note that any crossing of the party whip (over serving office holders) would be illegal and treasonous to that republic. I dont know, but I suspect it’s similar for the house of commons over there.
@Greg Blake: I’d imagine taking up the oath in the UK, would negate any right of SF MPs to direct or influence the voting of any SF TDs.
@Big Red: You might want to recheck your facts there. They are a little bit on the alternative side.
@Big Red: Note to Red, Ireland didn’t get its independence in 1921. 6 counties still occupied.
@European Bob: its a pity it can’t just become another British parliament tradition, where they symbolically deny sinn fein mps entry a few times, and then just let them take their seats…
@Big Red: partial independence
Maintaining all the fuss and feathers of empire is the root cause of the British sense of self importance.
@Kevin Barry: like wearing a shamrock to commemorate a 1,500 year dead kidnap victim Welsh “saint” who drove the non-existent snakes out of Ireland?
@Robin Pickering: you have us on that one. ;-), All countries have their quaint customs, it’s what makes the world interesting. As long as they are harmless, then let them at it.
@Greg Blake: true. Life would be boring if we were all the same.
A total bunch of clowns the lot of them
@Ciarān: word
@Ciarān: Why are they a bunch of clowns?
@jo mixon: Do i need to explain or have you not been following the news for the the last 2 years?!
I knew a village bycicle who loved the black rod
“Right honourable” means a member of the privy council. Nothing to do with ministerial office
@Dave Ringer: that’s correct. Jeffrey Donaldson from the DUP gets referred to as “the right honourable” just because he is on the queen’s privy council. He is not a minister.
I find this very offensive to Blacks & Rods
MPs are traditionally called ‘honourable’, or ‘hon’ for short. They aren’t referred to by name by other members, but by the constituency they represent. The Speaker calls them by name.
A ‘friend’ is an MP in the same party; referring to others, they are just a ‘member’.
‘Right hon’ means the member is a member of the Privy Council; the get the letters PC after their name.
‘Hon and learned’ means the member is a QC, the equivalent of a SC.
‘Hon and gallant’ means the member is a Sir, a knight.
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