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REPORTING ON MENTAL health issues is a sensitive task – laying bare one’s own experience of depression or a loved one’s suicide is brave beyond compare.
A combination of both of these, as featured on TheJournal.ie in the past 12 months, has been highlighted and praised today by Headline Ireland. The national media monitoring programme for mental health and suicide reporting dedicated its Voice award for the reporting of lived experience of mental health challenges to TheJournal.ie.
While we are delighted to receive the award from the organisation, which is celebrating 10 years in operation, we dedicate it to all of our users, interviewees and contributors who have shared their stories with us.
Thank you for your trust in us to represent your experience with dignity and respect.
We thought the most appropriate tribute would be to remind you of some of the articles which hit a nerve with our audience and brought mental health discussion to the fore:
If you need to talk, contact:
Samaritans 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
Aware 1800 804848 (depression, anxiety)
Pieta House 1800 247247 or email mary@pieta.ie – (suicide, self-harm)
Teen-Line Ireland 1800 833634 (for ages 13 to 19)
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It’s not the children that are the problem. It is the parents that let them run riot.
@Sam Alexander: Nail on head.
@Sam Alexander: Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep control of a few kids, while drinking a coffee and updating your Facebook feed…
@Sam Alexander: And it’s not just in cafés or restaurants, it’s in supermarkets as well.
@Sam Alexander: Agreed.
@Sam Alexander: if only the grandparents had raised them to be better parents.
Great initiative and would be brilliant to see this appear in Cafe’s all over the country…
Next let’s have Airlines introduce Child-free flights, no more screaming kids in your ear on the aircraft…
@Ixion99: Buses and trains, maybe! At least you can get off the bus or train at the next stop.. try that on a flight at 30,000 feet!
@Dotty Dunleary: you should choose your seat on a plane more wisely.
@Dotty Dunleary: Ah sure why not put a ban on them in public places altogether!!!
Just remember, the children of today will be looking after the elderly of tomorrow. Be nice to them on the way up, you might meet them on the way down!!!
@Dotty Dunleary: or parents with young children in separate areas on a plane. I travel on long haul flights and many times I’m disturbed by yelling babies or unruly children.
It appears that parents won’t or can’t control their children.
@Ixion99: Mine do
@Anita OGalligan: imagine that, a baby in a loud cramped cabin, their ears popping for the first time and being flung around the place, feeling the need to cry. Just get yourself some earplugs and headphones and learn a bit of compassion.
There’s a place for an adults only cafe if there is a demand. Kids are only a problem in a cafe when their parents don’t bother to control them and let them run around the place disturbing other diners and being a health & safety hazard to waiting staff carrying hot food. There is also the new trend of parents bringing tablets/ipads to entertain their kids and blaring everyone out of it. There is so much inconsiderate behaviour in society these days.
@AR Devine:
Live and let live
@AR Devine: Couldn’t agree more about the inconsiderate behaviour. Today’s world seemed motivated by the me, myself and I mentality driven by entightlement and responsibility and consequence are fluffy afterthoughts
@League of shadows: It’s much better to abandon your individuality and submit your mind entirely to a cult and do as they tell you.
@CaighdeanBAC: Huh????? this article is about coffee shops not cults
@courageous: Would you say that if you had a next door neighbour that played AC/DC at full volume at 3 o clock in the morning?
@Graham Wilson:
It means mind your own business
@Cindy Crawford:
No but I’d actually be asking how come you didn’t ask me to the party
It’s called a pub, after 9pm
@Random_paddy:
Some pubs serve still serve kids after 9
@Random_paddy: not everyone drinks and sometimes you want coffee and sandwich in peace.
@Random_paddy: Cafe isn’t a pub.
@The Girl: I think it was a facetious comment, peeps.
@Joe Mc mahon: I am a mother to 5 adult kids & there are just 8 years between the eldest & youngest. I have lots of grandkids also so nobody can accuse me of being anti-children or kid bashing but at this stage of my life if I want to go for a quiet coffee either on my own with my book or with a friend the last thing I want is to have somebody at the table near me with their kids being noisy, playfully boisterous or generally interrupting my little bit of peace. When my kids were young my friends & I went to each other’s houses for coffee & the kids played with each other happily so it was a win win. Personally at that time the last thing I would have wanted was to take my brood to a coffee shop & stress myself out trying to keep them behaved. A little bit of common sense and understanding of other peoples needs would go a long way in this world instead of constantly focusing on “our rights”.
@Mary Cullinane: Excellently put, with so many things coming in and out of fashion these days I can’t wait for common sense and consideration to become a trend.
@Mary Cullinane: as much as I’d like to debate the point with you, its hard when my comments keep getting deleted. Censorship is alive and well in this fair country of ours.
@Mary Cullinane: I feel the same way about the over 65′s on rush hour trains.
@thesaltyurchin: I don’t see the connection between the two to be honest but I agree with you in the sense that priority on trains should be given to those who have pre-booked & paid for their seats. When the time comes for me to be able to avail of free travel I hopefully will have enough understanding of other peoples needs to make sure I try and travel during the quieter times on public transport. Maybe there should be a charge on people with free travel who choose to travel at the busiest times or at least have a cap on the number that a train can take at those times? Anyway it doesn’t apply to me at the moment so it doesn’t affect me whereas the question of kids in coffee shops does.
Absolutely. I’ll tie the buggy up outside and in for an hour of peace.
Yes, not everyone wants to listen to screaming kids.
@Ben Dawkins:
Not all kids scream while in a coffee shop with their mum or dad
@Nick Allen: True, however, unless kids are screened before they enter you’ll never know.
@Ben Dawkins: like a ‘screaming screening’?
My local cafe has a que out the door because the yummy mummies all meet up during the day with their buggies and prams that take up most of the space.
The cafe loses a lot business but what can they do?
@Gareth Cooney: you call them yummy mummy’s. What they are in fact is stressed out tired mums who want some adult interaction. You’ve obviously never spent long periods of time with kids on your own. They wear you down. Tire you out. Who in their right mind would deny that very same mum an hour chatting to friends with a cuppa. I’m off at work- if she want to spend the whole day in a cafe for sanity sake then off with her. Happy mum-happy house!
@Joe Mc mahon: Could they not arrange to meet at each other’s houses? A different person each day/week/whatever the frequency is?
It would give the kids freedom, and would be cheaper in the long-run as well!
@Joe Mc mahon: Well said Joe. Nice to
feel someone appreciates how tough it is being at home all day with young kids.
They do wear you down & test your patience to the limit – along with serious sleep deprivation – is an hour in a cafe too much to ask to feel human? Pity more men don’t have this view. Another case of perception vs reality
@Mary: As a mother of 5 adult kids, the eldest of whom was 8 when the youngest was born & in an era where there were no creches or playschools I could give lessons on how stressful rearing kids are but also I understand now as somebody who has gone past all that that I also need my to chill out & be able to meet up with a friend without being constantly listening to other peoples kids doing what kids generally do & that is being noisy, playfully boisterous & also making the most of the fact that because they are in a public place the will get away with a bit more misbehaving than they would at home. When my kids were young my friends & I went to each others houses to meet up. The kids played happily with the toys, we had our chat with no rush on us & we had no stress as regards trying to keep our kids quiet & behaved in an environment that was not really geared for kids doing what comes naturally to them i.e. being kids.
@Mirabelle Stonegate: they certainly could. But the same could be said for you. Can’t you have a nice quite coffee at home too?
@Joe Mc mahon: dont forget the daddy’s aswell.
@Mirabelle Stonegate: Are they not as entitled as anybody else to go for a cuppa and a chat just so they can have some adult interaction? If it bothers you so much then may i suggest you go to a different coffee shop.
@Joe Mc mahon: There are mother and toddler groups . There are fun zone places where kids can do mad while parents have coffee in piece. There are other options for meeting places and one would argue they are more suited to their kids needs. I’ve seen too many kids running into glass doors or servers in cafes and resturants. It’s really not a safe place to let a child run free. Saw one little guy heading out the front door once and only for the server who spotted him and caught him he would have been on a busy Rd in seconds. The mum hadn’t even realised until the server brought him back to her. Seems like the server had enough to do with his own job without looking after kids but he was really quick to grab the little guy that day thankfully.
@Catherine Sims: what’s that got to do with the issue here? Yeah, there are all those places- great. But should that mean a refusal of entry to a cafe? There are plenty of other places for the childless hoards to go as well to escape the terrible noise of a baby…
@Joe Mc mahon: where would I go to escape the hoards of children then 11 am can you tell me ? Pubs if they are open allow kids. Please tell me of these wonderful places currently available where you can go for a coffee with kids in the place ?
@Catherine Sims: * without kids in the place. This is completely relevant. If chdren are well behaved and parents control their behaviour no one has an issue. I was in restaurant Wednesday afternoon and it was busy and there were plenty of kids there. All incredibly well behaved with watchful parents. The only noise came from an Infant and the parents took it in turns to walk the child up and down outside while the other ate in.peace and consequently a other diners were spared the infants crying too. It was pretty considerate actions from the parents . The restaurant gave out colouring books and crayons and it seemed to just have worked a treat. Parents just need to understand they need to control their kids in public and if they do there will be no need for adult only places and they won’t have to take offence at not being allowed bring in their kids.
@Catherine Sims: if only we could rid the world of those pesky loud kids… oh what joy we would have..
@Joe Mc mahon: not really, given I don’t drink the stuff. I go for brunch once a month with a friend, which I pay for, and he then helps me with my shopping, as I’m short, so this is the one day a month I have someone to help me get stuff from high up. Other than that, I don’t go near a cafe.
I don’t drink tea or coffee myself, so having the stuff at home is a waste of space. It would take 5 years to get through a box of teabags!
@Derek Lyster: did I say it bothered me? My suggestion was about being able to have that interaction, whist giving the kids freedom, and being more affordable. If they then want to go to a cafe, why not arrange for a day the dad’s can take the kids? This is how it was when I was growing up. Cafes are boring to kids. Going to someone’s house is far better!
To me, this would be the sensible thing!
@Catherine Sims: You sound like a joy. A parent has to walk their tiny baby outside to appease you? Good grief. I pity those poor parents that they couldn’t enjoy an hour having a coffee/food together without being judged by the likes of you.
I would pay for adult only flights.
@mursim: Me, too.
@mursim:
@mursim: spoken like some one with no kids.
@Declan Kelly: Well I have and I’d still like an adults only flight. Why do you expect that everyone shod love kids ? There are people who have no interest in children and really don’t want to be around them in confined spaces. I would have thought that patents wpd be glad to remove potential complainers from their flights off to seperate flights. But then again some parents just don’t give a damn. They don’t care how bad their kids are and don’t think they should do anything to keep their kids well behaved and then they go St get offended when people don’t want to be around their kids ? Lol
I could see something like this working in a large city, but not in a location where the population is small and you are fighting to get people in the door. You could be in situation that you have to turn away a loyal customer if they have a baby.
@Do the Bort man: It would very much depend on the location of cafe. Can’t see people going out of the way to go to one. But if two cafe’s are close to each other on the high street and one is adult only. I can see it working. I know which I would choose.
@Janet McGowan: Either way I think it’s great to have child-free cafe’s, especially in towns and city’s where adults may want to go and have a business related discussion or adult conversation without having to worry about child-related noises close by?
@Dotty Dunleary: Absolutely, judging by this thread there does appear to be a need for them!
most coffee shops during weekday mornings are adults only… kids are normally in school
@William O’ Connor: but the crying babies and noisy toddlers aren’t.
It’s not only about me time. When having me time(no that it happens often) I can ignore the occasional rowd kid. In honesty, I don’t expect young kids to be perfectly behaved 100% of the time. They are kids after all. My son is a special needs adult. He has sensory issues and doesn’t cope well with loud, sudden noises or the high pitch of young kids shouting. While he has coping techniques, being around kids pushes him out of his comfort zone, especially when parents don’t bother expect their child to behave. As such, I can’t really ever relax when out with him. It would be nice to go to a cafe and not have to worry about a screaming child with exhausted parents or parents who just don’t care sitting down next to us after 5 minutes.
@Carol Oates: I don’t expect my kids to behave 100% of the time, either, but I certainly expect them to behave well outside of our home. Certainly expect them not to misbehave in public.
Was thinking of opening a restaurant called ‘peace and quiet’ , kids meals are €50.
@League of shadows: great idea, go for it!!
Will there be bouncers on the door? “Not tonight bud,there’s a coffee stain on your shirt. Try Insomnia up the road”.
Parents who stare into their phones while their kids are looking for attention freaks me out … its like the kids are distracting their parents from quality time on their phones ..
I’m mildly allergic to children but I would not bother with a cafe which discriminates against children.
@Michael Lang: good morning Micheal… Start of an other busy day for us.
God yes!
A friend and I used to talk about creating an “adult” town where no children would be permitted and how great it would be. If you had children you had to leave adult town (both the person who had the child and who got them pregnant, we were an equal opportunity kinda town…….)
Clearly they didn’t learn as they now have two children. So they’re now banned from adult town! :)
So it’s a Hooters, but with coffee.
@neuromancer:
Hooters does great coffee in jugs
I’ve 2 kids, 6&3. Most of time they’re well behaved, but kids are kids. We were all one. But I’d still love the option when I’m on my own to have a coffee when there isn’t kids running around. I think this cafe will do well though.
@Stuart Dickens:
Usually If I want peace and quiet I walk into a cafe and if it’s busy with noisy kids I walk out and find somewhere that’s quite
@courageous: Yes I don’t blame you.
Anywhere with no screaming and messy children gets my nod of approval.
Surly its illegal to bar kids from a cafe. Age discrimination case taken by a 5 year old on the way….
@Jamie Jj Tobin: Some pubs have a “no under 21″ policy etc, I think that they can set an age limit on their customer base.
@Ben Dawkins: I have seen age limits on pubs and clubs alright. Restaurants and pubs/clubs must be exempt from discrimination law it would appear.
@Ben Dawkins: I don’t think you can legally enforce an “over 21″ door policy any more, the law changed around 15 years ago. However, most clubs that have a door policy like that has an older crowd, so you wont get many 18 year olds in there. In effect, banning a 12 year old or younger in a cafe, is the same as banning over 50s. A licensed premises can refuse entry to an under 18 at any time, 9pm is the just the norm. I was in a group refused entry into a Dublin city center pub last Saturday around 6pm, as there was a 10 year old in the group.
can they not just be left outside the door?
@Rear Admiral: Exactly, just tie ‘em to a lamppost and give them some water, it’ll be grand. ;)
@Tricia G: It wasn’t a problem in the 70′s.
So here’s the deal…. Me and my 2 boys (7 and 8) go for coffee etc once a week…. We try and sit away from the people bumming free WiFi or as they call it ‘working’…. We talk and have a laugh and make some noise without being disruptive to other customers. It’s a coffee shop, not a library…
@Neil Fitzpatrick: 100% agree
@Neil Fitzpatrick: in your senario the kids aren’t running, screaming, or what have you.. which is fine. I love kids like that and often comment on well behaved kids.
Blame the bold kids who don’t behave though, for when yours are considered a problem.
Does that mean they will be showing pornos?
@Frankly Mydear: If you’re interested in watching porn with a random group of strangers I think that’s a whole other business you’re looking for.
But hey, whatever floats your boat there Pee-wee.
@Tricia G: I’ll ahhh……I’ll ahhh…..I..I….I’ll get my trench coat
@Frankly Mydear: I just watch them on my phone when having a cup of tea. Isn’t modern technology great.
@Tricia G: Ah, but I didn’t say I would be interested in watching porn now, did I?
@Frankly Mydear: You also didn’t say “I don’t give a damn” but you can’t blame someone for going there now can you? :)
@Tricia G: Sure I would go anywhere with you Scarla my dear haha
You could make it a retro experience sell bottles of TK red lemonade and packets of Tayto so people could leave their kids in the car with them just like they did outside pubs in the 1970 ‘s
@garrett: When was the last time you got to park outside where you were actually going though?
To be honest it’s not the cafes but pubs where I think kids shouldn’t be let in. I was in a Roscommon pub a few weeks back, c. 9.30pm, kids knocking around. I don’t think they should be allowed into pubs at all. Then again, publicans won’t turn the business away.
If it has a play area, I’d go.
@BatMon:
You must be a kid otherwise that’s a really weird comment
I once walked out of a cafe when a couple came in with their baby screeching like a banshee. I had ordered my food but told the waitress to cancel it.
@Cindy Crawford: Go you!
I’d have an ‘adults only’ gaff if my daughters stopped calling over with their poxy kids
@ROG Reacts: LOOOLOOOLOL haha, ah chrisht, that tickled my nips
Genuine question. What kind of places are most of ye going to? Or are you just making a single incident into the norm. I like most here go to cafes often enough, both with my kids and also without and cannot remember the last time that I noticeably said Jesus those kids are loud/unruly/bold… but yes it has happened, but it happens so rarely that it is to me insignificant. 99% of the time, kids sit quietly coloring,playing with toys or eating their lunch while their parents eat too. For the times that they don’t the parents give out, tell them to sit down/be quiet and again for the most part they do. It is a very very small % of parents out there that openly let their kids go nuts. If you see parents/kids like that more often than not I’d question where the hell your frequenting.
@Joe Mc mahon: We’re only here for the argument! Stop diluting the dialogue with your ‘reality’… (agreed).
@thesaltyurchin: ha ha.. you mean the journal comments section is not for genuine concern? I should just stick to disagreeing with everyone, silly me trying to get real. If even for a second – wont do it again. Promise!
@Joe Mc mahon: last time I was in a cafe, about a month ago, I was very sick at the time. I wouldn’t have been there only I had errands to run, and needed help from a friend. The meds I was on left me in a lot of pain. I had toast, and even that was painful. However I also needed forms filled in, which I physically couldn’t do. My friend had to.
I ended up in tears leaving, because there was a baby nearby screeching and being encouraged to screech. It overwhelmed me, with the state I was in.
Ironically, it wouldn’t normally have bothered me, as it was happy playful screeching. It was just that, I was in a place where I couldn’t cope, but needed to be there as it was a middle ground meeting place, and I live alone.
@Mirabelle Stonegate: Maybe as you were obviously not at all well, a more appropriate place to meet would have been in your home (or perhaps a doctor’s office?) if you required that degree of silence.
If a parent brought a child that was that ill into a cafe (and disgruntled as a result), you would be complaining about that too.
Cafes are not designed for business meetings, they are for socialising!
@Janet McGowan: my friend and I live on opposite sides of the city, and I needed to be in town to do other things. I live alone, so I’ve to sort everything out myself, even when sick. And it was a case where even being at home was problematic. For every episode of something I watched, I needed an hour in a dark room to recover. This was after having been to a GP the day before.
As I said, it wasn’t a noise that normally bothers me. I’m used to babies and kids and related noises.. but an alternative option would be nice.
As long as the responsible adults use headphones when they watch YouTube videos. It is probably my biggest pet peeve to be in a cafe reading a book or chatting with a friend and next to me is someone watching a video with no headphones.
Snowflake B.S. when your out in the public domain you will come across noisy children, people with disabilities , even rude or load adults , if you want to have complete peace lock yourself in a closet FFS , banning children , thats nonsense , im pretty sure banning children from a cafe on the grounds that it is a children free zone would be discrimination .
‘Hear, hear! ‘(Inaudible over the shouting kids, crashing chairs, YouTube videos and I-love-the-sound-of-my-own-voice-mummies)…I say ‘HEAR, HEAR!’ ‘I COMMEND THIS MOTION TO THE HOUSE!’
Yes, yes and thrice yes.
If a café like this opens near me I am going to wait until its full and surupticiously approach the door with my baying brats…..force them inside to increased braying . I will then block the door to stop the escape of braying children and horrified adults . For extra effect I may employ help to secure the rear exit .
I do hope to still enter heaven .
@Pl O’neill: Lol! open the front of the cage… Go lads Go!!!
Discrimination against children and parents with children. Plain and simple.
@Lad_The: What makes you think children should have right of entry to everywhere though ? I’m also you didn’t give a fiddlers about children’s right if entry before you had your own. Once yours are grown you won’t give a damn again . No loves your little darlings as much as you .That’s just a fact .
@Catherine Sims:
I didn’t say “children should have right of entry to everywhere”
I didn’t say I had kids
Interesting assumption that people who don’t have kids don’t “give a fiddlers about children’s right”
Discrimination is discrimination. Replace the word ‘children’ in this article with ‘women’. I suppose that’s not discrimination either.
@Catherine Sims: First of all, they don’t!!
Secondly, a cafe isn’t ‘everywhere’.
Thirdly, wtf??
Jeez, talk about intolerant!
With the screaming and roaring or words hissed through gritted teeth ,thats just the adults ,If you want to keep away from kids ,stay away from McDonalds at the weekends
It’s 2018.. Children are going to sue for discrimination.
Elitist bullsh!t… plenty of cafes are already child free, it’s simple, stools instead of chairs, narrow door at the entrance, free-jazz, and so on. You don’t need a sign that says no dogs, no kids!
@thesaltyurchin: Such a sign is just a lawsuit waiting to happen. Just say ‘we cannot accommodate you, sorry’ and nothing more.
@thesaltyurchin: Literally every other cafe in the country allows kids. Whats your problem?
@Fergus Flanagan: I just want a thread with no Fergus Flanagans, you can literally have any other thread in the world (wide web) just not this one.
@Gav Quinn: In general, telling people what they can and cant do is a problem. We love doing it in Ireland. It’s great, it fuels our hate satisfaction.
We love a bit of hate.
@thesaltyurchin: stools are actually a way of saying “no short people wanted”. I’ve fallen off so many stools in the past as there was nothing else available. I now have to turn and leave.
@Mirabelle Stonegate: Children are short people too you know.
Adult only Aeroplanes Please
This page is full of Gammons!!!! Chock full of them haven’t read so much moaning in all my life.
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