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AS A WORKING mother I know that in order to survive, it is essential to ignore lifestyle experts like Gwyneth Paltrow who says that incorporating much-needed Me Time into my weekly routine is as important as tucking my kids in each night.
Not for them, the 3am dash across the corridor with a child projectile-vomiting along the way, while simultaneously conducting war talks with my husband about whose ‘turn’ it is to take the day off to mind said puker.
They obviously have not felt the cold sweat of fear as city traffic threatens to enforce noticeable lateness to an end-of-term play, or tried to cram in as much valuable family time into a weekend as humanly possible – “Who fancies a trip to a petting zoo followed by stopping by the actual zoo to compare sizes?!” – in order to combat the bone-crunching guilt of missing out on crucial parts of our children’s lives.
When my first child was born I went back to work on the allotted 6.5 month timeline. He was so tiny, and I felt absolutely horrified leaving him, but even worse – it was so very amazing to be back at work that I was confronted with a new level of guilt. I WANTED to be at my desk and not at home. It felt so good to be doing what I loved again, and for my brain to work in a different way.
Upon reaching home, the second shift of the day would begin and go late into the night, as is the way with tiny babies. When I found out that I was pregnant with my second child a month later (ever the overachiever) I took on more work, as if to prove to the world that having babies was not going to slow me down. Oh how wrong I was.
The pressure that working parents today find themselves under today is undeniably immense. The cost of living in an actual house with four walls has never been higher, and childcare continues to test the boundaries of wages for many of us. More of us are raising a family while both parents work full-time jobs, meaning that we are spreading ourselves thinner and thinner.
Mum of two Patricia O’Regan knows the struggle only too well. “It all comes down to having not enough time in the day,” she says. “I have constant guilt that I’m not spending enough time with my children. We seem to be rushing all the time; we wake them up early to get them out the door to get them to school or childcare, rush off to work ourselves, rush to pick them up and then rush to get them fed and to bed so that we can start all over again. It is exhausting!”
Those of us who feel like we are succeeding at least half the time at being a working parent say that planning is key. Many cite batch cooking at the weekend as a solution to weeknight dinners, and most prep packed lunches the night before. But unless you can afford a cleaner twice a week (who does all your laundry and changes your sheets), there are some things that just have to go by the wayside in order to facilitate real actual life. Rather than ensuring everyone has had their five-a-day, I think it’s quite OK to grab a bag of chips on the way home from a midweek GAA match every once in a while.
The anxiety that pervades modern parenthood is endemic in our society, at least to me. While at work, Patricia O’Regan says, she is constantly clock-watching to
ensure that her carefully planned childcare situation stays afloat. “I’m always so conscious of leaving so that I can pick the kids up on time, and then finding myself sending hurried apologetic texts to our child-minder because I’m running late as a result of sending that one last email, or finishing that one last letter or report.”
Is it possible to strike a balance? Answers on a good old-fashioned postcard please. When my friends and I get together our most common conversation is about Sunday
Night Fear, parenting edition.
This is not the kind of fear where you languish in your own self-hatred after a particularly raucous night out. This is the kind of fear where you mentally go through the week ahead with militant precision, planning meals, pick-ups, doctor’s appointments, meetings and Actual Real Life.
I asked my children what I did for a living recently, and after conferring quietly for a few minutes, the five-year-old announced confidently “You are a Mam.” My six-year-old nodded sagely beside him, “Yes, being a Mam is your job.” After sitting on my hands and restraining the indignant roar of “I am NOT JUST A MAM” which threatened to
careen around the room, I realised that my sons were telling me that I am achieving at least half of my life goals.
And that, my friends, is real life balance.
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Dirty savage, 8 years not enough!
I ask this as a serious question. Would the general public agree with chemical castration for men who do something like this?
I would Creamy! Your name in certain circumstances is a bit…well
You need to watch more family guy joan…although that might only confirm your suspicion..
Totally disagree with the chemicals. Knife much better and I am serious.
How could she have been a teenager for 9 years?
I would vote YES!
Rape is about violence ! Not just self-gratafacation ? I think boiled slowly in hot oil might surffice?
8 years for raping a child. Sometimes the law just seems so inadequate
Horrible excuse for a man . Dirty rapist 8 years is not enough.
No punishment is great enough for ruining a innocent life .
Agreed, but I could think of a few that I’d like to try out.
8 years!
Should be at least double that for each person he brutalised.
But at least he is serving a life sentence in daily life when he gets out.
His life will be an absolute misery! Probably worse than being inside!
I wonder what goes through the minds of judges when they pass light sentences of eight years for such a monstrous act , when the prosecutors asked for 10 to 12 years? Is it misplaced compassion or are they completely out of touch. Child rapists should be given a life sentence. I’d have no problem with castration either.
Ll fine calling for life for rape , but think about this- why would a rapist leave his victim alive to bear witness against him when he would get a lesser sentence if he kills her.
By giving severe sentences for rape increases the potential for MURDER, think about that if ur sister or daughter does not come on time.
Sorry come home on time.
Pedophiles, rapists and child molesters or any kind should be locked up for life, and have there basic human rights taken away because they aren’t human, they should be given, basic food and little to no time out side there cells !!
How about we place a rat on their tummy and seal with a metal helmet ! How do u think the rat will find it’s way out????
He should get a bullet. Simple as that.
i think we’ve become too politically correct.there is 7billion people on this planet and money is tight,so bugger it just put him down(with a cheap medicine)along with others who do this type of thing.REALLY why can’t they just do it?
the above comment from robert smith was actually posted by me gavan smith.we use the same computer and it was logged onto robert smith’s facebook page by accident
I have no idea why a certain length sentence is given to people who do this. So if after 8 years, he still has these urges, he has done his time so let him out? People like this should be given a sentence to pay for what they have done but be held for as long as necessary after that time for rehabilitation. If that can’t be achieved then they should choose chemical castration or life in a facility. I thought the whole point of laws, courts and jail was not only to punish people when they have committed a crime but was to keep society safe.
The whole point of punishment to fit the crime is lost on the judicial system and it needs to reflect the times. There is so many reports like this one that surely the whole system needs to be looked at. I’m not for a second suggesting that this is a new crime and it wasn’t being committed in the past but now that there is plenty of research done on this type of offender and their likelihood of reoffending it seems a crime in itself not to devise a sentence that is suitable.
Absolutely Liz. Well said. Interesting article on the subject
Death
I presume the last sentence is a typo?
Perhaps it is worth considering …..by undermining the traditional values/foundations of society…this is what you get…fer pities sake ….you liberals…fer pities sake….whatever next…
Mason change your name. I suggest Manson? You deranged creep!!
…..@ Martstjon…Before pressing submit…best you think about what you are saying …clearly must explain to the uneducated amongst us ….back when yer man were a boy homosexual acts were considered criminal…by making such depravity acceptable the foundations of respectability …of society were weakened…it is sugested this contributed …by degrees to the perverse amongst us thinking “well if homosexualiy is acceptable..all forms of self gratification must be OK” …thus society saw the behaviour of such as the French Tennis coach and the American Football coach take place and continue to this day..when the liberals amongst us condone same gender marriages…the adoption of the young by these people…how long will it be before the act of the pedophile will become acceptable ….along with incest…take it further ….cannibalism…..break the rules expect the unexpected…rules were made in sociey for well founded reasons…break them and the flood gates are opened….you cant have your cake and eat it …..Do you now understand? …..consider, before abusing others….
….it is pointless coming up with all these medieval ways of dealing with people who are socially unacceptable….we have to ask ourselves why people do such….what is happening to respectable behaviour…It be suggested that the Liberal..”progressives” in our midst….by condoning that which in the past was totally unacceptable….suggest to those unable to quell socially unacceptable desires….that self gratification of any form needs no restraint…This may be seen in film/ staged performance/ art /literature/ www sites/ magazines/popular music lyrics….Possibly alright for the minority seen as “we’ll balanced” a totally subjective notion…dependent on who/what/where you are….That said overall…most people are generally uneducated unable to form an opinion if it is against the trend the so called “progressive” mindset…..This fear of being rebuked by fellow man leads us down the avenue of “anything goes” the erosion of standards of civilisation… as the majority would like to see it ….As a teacher of Humanities KS9 to KS12…it is with dismay the notions of young minds are so easily influenced by the popular media….No the answer is not known! other than to discourage rather than encourage that which is felt to be unacceptable….
@mason…typos…homosexuality…well….
@mason …young people…are seen to be so easily influenced…..
…@MartStJohn….an apology for your abuse will be graciously accepted….courtesy costs nothing …perhaps a little loss of face…which does nobody any harm….
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