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IT’S ALMOST 20 years since journalist Paul Howard started to write about a certain type of South Dublin rugby jock.
The character, Ross O’Carroll Kelly, was – not to put too fine a point on it – a little bit dim. He was rugby-obsessed, displayed an intensely posh accent, and was extremely un-self-aware.
He drank Miller and, says his creator “dreamt – this embarrasses me now – he dreamt one day of driving a Peugeot 205″. The Ross O’Carroll Kelly that we know and love in 2017 is, yes, a little bit different these days (he swapped that Miller for Heineken – or Heino – a long time ago), but the core of the man remains the same.
He’s still a great, big, posh eejit. Yeah, no, loike seriously.
“I didn’t think Ross was going to be in my life for more than 10 weeks,” says Howard on a visit to TheJournal.ie to talk about his latest book, Operation Trumpsformation (many of Howard’s ROCK books have pun-heavy titles: The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nightdress; Between Foxrock and a Hard Place; The Shelbourne Ultimatum).
The column was only due to run in the Sunday Tribune from January to St Patrick’s Day of 1998 – it didn’t even have Howard’s byline. “It was about five paragraphs long in the sports section,” recalls Howard. “And I used fictional names for the schools – now I use real names for everything, but back in those days Blackrock College was Blackstones College and Mount Anville was Anville Hill or something like that.”
But the main thing was that Howard hadn’t yet found Ross’s distinctive voice, goys.
“I think probably if I thought it was going to last a bit longer I might have put more care and attention into those early columns,” says Howard. “But I read them about a week ago and my toes curled in embarrassment reading them back. The big surprise for me reading the first one in particular was that there was ever a second one.”
Ross O’Carroll Kelly emerged mainly through Howard’s fascination with, and bafflement over, a certain type of South Dublin set: moneyed, young, clad in chinos and dubes (Dubarry shoes) and fond of rounding their vowels.
“[In the beginning] I had a chip on my shoulder, certainly, that was related to class,” says Howard. “And I was sending up rugby culture, and sending up that privileged, especially south Dublin, thing.”
Howard grew up working class, initially in the UK before his Irish parents moved the family home to Dublin. “Certainly the early columns and the early books were very driven by my class consciousness,” says Howard.
I grew up in Ireland in the 1980s, and class was a far bigger factor I think than it is today. And I was working class and definitely had an enormous chip on my shoulder about things like that – about private schools and money and children who went on skiing holidays.
When he started covering schools rugby for the Tribune, he started to see “these kids, they were so privileged”. He recounts a tale about getting the Dart in 1997, “and a kid put his hand on my chest as the doors opened and he said ‘sorry dude, this is a Rock carriage’”.
It was a conversation in the office about the idea of a fly-on-the-wall documentary on a school’s rugby team which led to the first Ross column.
“We both chuckled at the idea that you could write about the sons and daughters of Ireland’s middle classes in a newspaper in such a way. And in a fit of pique I created Ross out of that. I thought ‘there has to be a way to do this in a satiric way’,” says Howard.
As time went on, he realised that it “wasn’t good enough just to have that sledgehammer satire, that it was a bit too light on comedy”.
“So I invented characters like Charles O’Carroll Kelly and Fionnuala [Ross's parents] and eventually Ronan, Ross’s son entered his life and then Honor, who is the daughter from hell.”
When did he realise he had a gift for comedy and satire? “I don’t think I have a gift,” scoffs Howard. “And that’s the thing about writing – that’s why you get up early in the morning and you sit down in front of the computer and you face that blinking cursor with a blank screen, because you don’t know – you never do.”
Does he ‘become Ross’ while writing? (Noightmare)
“I used to. Now the challenge is to stop being Ross,” he admits. “I’m worried how easily the voice comes to me sometimes – I come home from work and my wife says to me, you know, leave that behind, you’re not Ross.”
So it is a strange existence for me in that I spend my working life sitting behind a desk thinking in the voice of an idiot. A south Dublin idiot, I spend 10 hours a day with this really loud, privileged, bombastic voice in my head and switching that off is often the most difficult thing.
Even though he is satirising a specific type of Dubliner, Howard says he hasn’t heard of people taking offence.
“Oddly with Ross, people tended to recognise their friends rather than themselves,” he says. Friends in bookshops would tell him about sailing jacket-wearing teens reading the book and exclaiming “that is SO loike Tiernan”.
“But I think generally it’s an affectionate portrait, it’s not really taking people out by the roots.”
Boom and bust
Through Ross, Howard has been able to explore the hot-tubbed highs of the Celtic Tiger and the lows of the subsequent recession.
So he’s a great person to ask about where he sees Ireland going in the future (especially since, on stage, he imagines an Ireland of the future – his next Ross play, Postcards From The Ledge, is set in 2029).
“I think the Ireland of the future is going to be amazingly like the Ireland of the past,” he says. “I think we’re just very attached to boom and bust capitalism, we don’t know anything else, it’s what we do.”
Just driving in today, seeing all the cranes and the building work, it’s beginning to feel like maybe 1999, 2000 again, and the same thing, the pressure for houses, for young people, nowhere to rent, pushing prices up, it just seems like we’re going back there again.
But this new turnaround is no great surprise to Howard. “I think when the Celtic Tiger happened, originally I was quite surprised because it didn’t feel like the country I grew up in,” he says. “The Ireland I grew up in, it was so difficult to borrow money, if you borrowed money it was a life-changing decision.”
Howard recalls “getting letters from the bank offering me €10,000 that I’d never even asked for”.
“So there was a whole change in attitudes towards indebtedness, it suddenly wasn’t considered a bad thing, to go into the red to buy something other than a house or a car – you could actually borrow money, as the ad used to say to go on holidays and to pretend you were buying it for braces it for your teeth or schoolbooks.”
20 years in, does Howard ever think about Ross’s literary demise? Loike, when will it be time for him to go?
“I used to think about it a lot more, and I used to put a number on it,” he says.
The books started off with a trilogy, grew to five books, and then when the crash happened, things took off again. “Suddenly it was a new challenge to put Ross in this suddenly changed world, the whole topography of his life had altered,” says Howard.
Then came Ross’s kids “and there’s all the challenges of raising them as good people – which he’s failing at miserably – so now I take it from book to book”.
I don’t put a number on it anymore, I think as long as I’m enjoying it, as long as I think it’s funny, as long as people are finding the books funny and as long as I can stay relevant, I’ll continue doing it.
Operation Trumpsformation by Paul Howard, published by Penguin, is out now. Postcards from the Ledge opens at the Gaiety on 25 October, running until 11 November.
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Time to end the council house for life. Time to get on your feet and on your way. We need to end generations of unemployed and leave social welfare for those in genuine need.
@DaisyMay: Average house price is €211,000. Average house price in Dublin €375,000
Average industrial wage (you know, people who have got on their feet and pay tax) €45,000
You can borrow 3.5 times your income for a mortgage
It’s not about generations of unemployed, it’s about a housing system broken for the purpose of making a small number of people a lot of money.
@The Risen: fair enough. I do agree that two people working should affordable a reasonable home. But that’s not social housing that’s affordable housing.
@The Risen: why doesn’t everyone just borrow the money from mammy and daddy, like leo suggested?
@The Risen: I’m not in an ass’s roar of average wage, the average wage for me is 27000.00@ year plus 10% premium pay nights Sundays etc, top of pay scale €37000.00 so for HCAs support staff the idea of a house mortgage is Narnia
@DaisyMay: ‘But that’s not social housing that’s affordable housing.’
LOL! Wrong.
People with an income of under €35,000 can apply for the social housing list. You really are coming across as somebody who does not want to learn the facts, lest it interferes with your stereotyping.
@The Risen: that’s fine in that case nobody is buying houses so prices should fall. But people are out bidding for houses so whose buying them all not landlords anyway
@ed w: The housing competition in Dublin seems to want winners and winners with no losers.
@ed w: foreign cash buyers fücking up the system too
@DaisyMay: The issue has nothing to do with the unemployed, or those on social welfare. The issue is all about neoliberal housing policy and the policy isn’t working. Neither is slandering those who for whatever reason cannot afford the artificially inflated housing and rent “market”.
Build social and affordable homes and stop the slandering.
@DaisyMay:
What an ignorant comment to make. I’ll never own my own house because i’ll never be able to get a mortgage. The only way is by getting on the council list.
@DaisyMay: We also nerd affordable houses Daisy,anf this is happening. Stop blaming one section of society.
@ed w: at those prices, not investors either.
@Bruce van der Gutschmitzer: Foreign money buying up apartments to hide their millions. sure leo encourages it.
@The Risen: how about a young couple who live in Dublin and earn €30K each which approx €4K net per month, they rent a one bed city centre apartment for €1.5K a month and try and save €500 a month giving them €2K per month to live off.
They save hard for 5 years and have €30K savings and apply for a mortgage of up to €210K using the 3.5 times salary and try and buy their own apartment for €200K-€230K where their mortgage repayments will be around €900 per month and off they go.
The HAP scheme is driving rents and by extension prices through the roof. the government is giving people who do not work €1,600 a month to rent houses. What working person can compete with €1,600 AFTER TAX! None, so the workers get pushed out and the HAP recipients enjoy their city center living.
It’s a joke, four years ago we were talking about ghost estates, the houses are there; but we can’t all live in Dublin. A national housing authority should be set up which places people in homes across the country – or at least across a province. You get one refusal and if you refuse it a second time you’re on your own! Housing crisi would be gone in the morning.
@The Risen: According to Revenue stated that there were 956,200 tax ‘units’ workers exempt from paying any tax:(single earners must pay income tax on earnings of €16,501 or more)& 769,809 income earners exempt from paying both income tax nor USC in 2018(USC paid by people with incomes of €13,000 or more,this is up 21,500 since last year’)
The average wage including all workers was €26,00 with 54% earning €30,000 & under.They will never be able to afford a house and with unaffordable ‘rents now higher than ever before’ according to Daft.ie
@Judean: You can work full-time and qualify for HAP!
@The Risen: where in dublin ? sure get a bus in from outside if your wages are that low , or get a job somewhere else . house prices will reflect what people pay for them .
@Judean: ??
Once the utilites are available and sitework is done, you can fully build a 3D printed home in 1-2 days for between €4000 and €10,000.
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=3d+printed+house
This crisis is completely solvable with a bit of radical thinking. But sure wheres the money in that for the 1%?
@The Risen: we have ghost estates in country villages and half filled schools. Is it physical houses we need for social housing or changes in location policies?
@The Risen: I’m far the one percent, I think houses should be affordable, but the idea of people just getting given free hosing to me is mental. Especially when they never plan on working instead only work the system.
@Sayitlikeitis: people in council houses pay rent. there are no ‘free houses’
@Sayitlikeitis: Go tell that to a disabled person who is unable to work. Ignorant fool
@Dermo Adams: when they pay a paltry rent from their social welfare benefit – how is that not free?
@Deb: I think in general all these comments are aimed at the permanently unemployed. I don’t think anyone would like to see a disabled or sick person homeless. In fact, being able to distinguish between the two would free up so many resources for those who are in genuine need.
@DaisyMay: you cannot make an assumption that all unemployed people are so by choice, yes im sure there are some who dont want to work but certainly not all, unless you know a person’s story dont judge them
@Dermo Adams: 80 million is owed in rent to the council, also people are living in council houses and paying their rent from dole money. If that’s not free, what is.
@DaisyMay: not everybody in a council house are unemployed. What a stupid, ill informed generalisation. Most of Dublin moved out of the city into council houses. And the vast vast majority of people worked. A lot of the houses people have bought were once council houses. If you really are this ill informed maybe refrain from commenting and making an idiot of yourself.
@DaisyMay: Showing your ignorance now, aren’t you. There are plenty of working people living in council houses, paying rent from their wages.
You come across as a person who has very little experience in the real world.
@Deb: nobody is talking about the disabled, and it’s lazy to come across like that.most right minded people have no problem with welfare payment to genuine people who are temporarily out of work or who have fallen on hard time but it’s the other half who want to be looked after from the cradle to the grave and give out about everything that’s afforded to them.
@John: That’s a welfare issue first and foremost. There were spongers in the 70s, 80s and 90s too, and no housing crisis. This is deliberate.
@DaisyMay: a small bit from a small bit is a big bit. So no it is not free.
@The Risen: the generation from the 70’s 80’s and 90’s have grown up and their kids and grandkids are expecting the same cradle to to grave assistance, and it’s at bursting point now.
There is no question that housing is needed, but not the levels people are demanding because if you say built 50,000 houses tomorrow(argument sake) you would never keep up with demand because everyone then would expect a house.every school leaver would immediately put their name down for one.
@Deb: They have to keep the divide and conquer mantra going. There’s enough fools out there to believe it.
@Dave Doyle: that’s right Dave, everyone that does not agree with you is a neo liberal Fine Gael loving fool.
@John: The show all the symptoms.
@John: Dole money never was and isn’t “free”. You’re just shooting your mouth off.
@Dermo Adams: There are for some. Some people rent council houses and top up the rent with money that they get for free. It’s not that complicated.
@Sayitlikeitis: exactly, the sense of entitlement these days is insane, houses for all??? Are we embracing communism…jeez
@Sayitlikeitis: ignorant clown I live in a social housing estate and both me and my wife have always worked payed for our own college fees to earn our degrees sometimes working 2 jobs.Our 3 kids have worked since they turned 16. My neighbors have good jobs and we pay plenty of rent. The govt and the banks need to be held accountable their like the mafia
@Deb: If you are healthy and unemployed for more than a couple months you are unemployed by choice.
Excellent news, I hope the same numbers as water protests are mobilized..that showed that policies can be changed by threatening politicians with ballot box rejection..
Hopefully this will lead to more protests against other disgraceful atrocities this government has created like tusla, turas nua, jobs bridge etc and put the final nail in FFG dictatorship coffin
@Deb: well jobridge is shut down over a year
@Harry: no it just got rebranded as turas nua, same people working there same policies
Time to tell FFG we need to support those without, not all for those with…
There will not be any real change I’m afraid. The homelessness profitability is one if the highest than any other business or activity. Noone in their right mind involved in all this and profiting from it would want any change, but they would seek/lobby for even more homelessness. The emergency accommodation for the homeless is the most profitable business it seems with 100′s of millions paid out annually by the government to those that provide such accommodation. How else to explain the rise in homeless despite our economy booming again?
I don’t think it is completely the government’s complete responsibility to solve the housing problem. People need to take responsibility for a roof over their heads. I like hundreds of thousands took out a mortgage for a house or an apartment. And while I was paying for my own place , I did with a foreign holiday flash car, meals out or a massive tv
People need to realise that you need to work hard, save and continue to work hard for your own place
The country simply cannot afford to build tens of thousands of houses, and simply hand them our free. I for one will completely ignore their homeless protest
@Peter Byrne: There you go again with the “personal responsibility” neoliberal mantra.
@Peter Byrne: Guess you’re not on minimum wage then. Fair play to you for what you’ve achieved in life. Just bear in mind that perhaps, just perhaps, there’s been a touch of luck in your financial world of life, or indeed your life in general – bit like mine. But we’ve possibly had more than some not so lucky.
@Peter Byrne: you gimp, the greatest sponsorship for business and commerce is a stable and competitive workforce is rooted in affordable social housing ! Rents are low and stable meaning no chasing wage claims, a disposable income to spend in those businesses, and of course the ability to save and grow up the ladder if possible.
Yes Ireland has lost the model believing this neoliberal clap trap that everyone can afford a has the career for a mortgage. At least 65% of the population never will through a meridian of life events.
SF as the largest party in DCC need to start being held to account for their complete inaction on the housing issue bar pointing fingers and blaming everyone else
@Ian McNally: the same co councillors who voted to reduce property tax are the ones looking for this motion. Property tax was supposed to incentivise people moving out of dwellings that no longer suited them. It was supposed to fund co councils and be used for housing.
Yes, people who work do live in council houses. But the max rent they pay is 200 per week, that’s even if two are working & earning €100,000 between them! The system needs radical change!
Time to end this free houses for everyone culture. Because you can’t afford to rent in Dublin shouldn’t class you as homeless. You are homeless when you can’t afford a house/rent in Ireland. These people can still afford to rent in Ireland, i.e. other parts of the country. People need to move out of Dublin if they can’t afford it instead of demanding that the taxpayers pay for their house.
@Denis Doherty: are u 11 years of age? Most immature comment on here
@Denis Doherty: What about people with disabilities Denis. Should we just ship them off too?
@Denis Doherty: who will do all the lower paid jobs in Dublin City if you force them out? In case you haven’t heard rent and house prices are sky high all over the country. It is unsustainable and will damage the economy.
@Denis Doherty: why should born and bred Dubliners have to move out of their city because greedy land hoarders and vulture funds want even more money? These capitalist scavengers are the problem not poorer or unemployed. Dubliners
It’s not just that people are homeless, it’s that people are being ripped off by landlords like FG TDs who have a vested interest in keeping supply tight. It is sickening how little money you have left at the end of the month, even on a professional salary after rent and pension contributions and saving for a deposit.
Anyone who goes to protest Trump but doesn’t show their face at this should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. Let’s hope it gets good numbers!
We have adequate housing policy now, we just don’t have enough money to fund it, and the velocity of the money we do have is have slowed by the planning system, counter-intuitive local area development plans, and busy-body NIMBYs
Unfortunately I don’t think a march will fix this crisis, government don’t give a 5hite, just sound bites is all we hear.
I see leo trying to take the sting out of the housing crisis activists plans by saying yes, there’s a crisis, but nobody can fix it. They done quite a good job of creating the problem with their poor national governance, they’re incapable of getting rid of the problem, but don’t want to let anybody else fix it either!
@Adrian: Leo doesn’t want it fixed.To many vested interests would be upset. Private developers, banks, vulture funds, landlords, hotel owners,some charities.
As long as FFG are in power the gravy train the homeless industry has become will continue.
@Dave Doyle: how about vineyard owners like you? You do remember you said you had a vineyard and Asian property. Staggering neo liberalism right there Dave.
@Paul Fahey: I said i had some vines, not a vineyard, where you got the Asian property from i haven’t a clue.
What i own has nothing to do with neoliberalism.
Neoliberalism is the political dogma pursued by FG.
It’s a bigger blight on society that ever communism was.
@Dave Doyle: You know nothing about communism. You are western wannabe socialist who dreams about communism with all the perks of capitalism included. It does not work that way I am afraid.
We can debate socialism all day long as I did live in that vile system. You only read about it.
@Dave Doyle: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
This is why people are going to the right, because of clowns like you trying to say Leo is worse than Stalin, dear lord can you just settle yourself.
@Pat Patovic: Like Paul above, you’re making a lot of assumptions. You haven’t a clue.
@Judean: Yeah, whatever.
Is there any harm in attending the protest, whatever about people who abuse the “system”, and did so for decades as “The Risen” has alluded to, we shouldn’t make sweeping generalisations about council/social housing recipients or needy. That introduces a societal class system, and is wrong. If this protest commands a large enough attendance, and media around Europe highlight it, perhaps it may shame our political class to address it. Maybe, just maybe.
Failed government policy is the issue here ,and its been that way since the seventies , housing is related to wealth creation, its been seen as a money making racket for the few at the top of the tree .in any other country in the western world you would have a citizens revolt .the Fg government have sold their souls to the venture funds at the expense of the working man .This is a political and social issue that should not merit all the time that is being spent on it, if the right social economic policies had been put in place . a serious amount of political contrivance leads us to where we are .
A protest to get Leo, Eoghan Murphy, Simon Harris and the rest of FG out! We need a general election
We’re being governed by hopeful politicians, FF and FG politicians who hope that somebody else will fix all the messes they create because they certainly can’t fix anything themselves but will happily take credit for anything that’s fixed so they can remain in power in gov.
State hasn’t got the proverbial pot. Every penny straight to pay debt. The new lie money no problem is just that.
@Ann Sorah: 28 million a month spent on landlord welfare, 45 million a year spent on hotel owners welfare, never mind what is spent on farming it out to charity, would go a long way in building affordable and social housing.
@Dave Doyle: what
Landlords, hotel owners and charities are responsible for the housing shortage??
@Andrew Dillon: Some conclusion you’re jumping to. Try context in reply to a comment. If you have the comprehension skills.
Will all the male “partners “, and children be present? Just wondering
I think at this rate you are rewarded more for not working in this country so we should all just give up work and have it handy. There are very deserving cases for sure but if you’ve never worked a day in your life you shouldn’t have a free House and free everything, simple as. Most families can’t live in prime locations and then pay a fortune to live in commuter areas and just about pay their bills. Seeing families with 7 kids and none of the family ever working a day in their life get free housing, back to school allowance and everything else makes it too easy for them to stay not working. Why would they?
@Mrs Mops n Mr Mops: I’m from n. Ireland I worked most of my life from the age of 14 I’m nearly 50 I’ve been on disability since I came to the Republic of Ireland I’d love to get a job but I’m not able to were I live in a village
@adams: as you’ve worked and have a disability you deserve support. Many of those unemployed can work and chose not to because they’re better off. Our government shouldn’t allow that but the problem is getting worse.
@Mrs Mops n Mr Mops: Would you like to tell us where these free houses are to be found, also include the free everything.
In Singapore 80% of the population live in state housing. Its expected that people will buy their own home (usually an apartment). The homes are built by an efficient state building company that’s run like a business. The developments are at the cutting edge architecturally esp on things like density and green space. People take out mortgages on those homes and can only sell them back onto the state subsidized market after 5 years of living. A certain profit is allowed when its sold back. The idea is that property ownership gives people a stake in society and ensures the property is looked after. There is zero tolerance policy for anti-social behavior. If you’re able bodied you’re expected to work, if you choose not to then your on your own. There’s no such thing as a generational welfare class. A housing policy like that makes sense but is unlikely to work here as the state company building the houses would devolve into a huge inefficient union dominated quango and actual working people probably would put back to the end of the queue.
Why would the Labour party be involved sure they created the mess #NotWithLabour
@Gav: Labour are desperate to jump on the homeless and housing bandwagon in an attempt to rehabilitate themselves. They can eff right off.
Claremorris Council are absolutely useless I’ve been on there housing list for 7years not one offer then they build houses near me and tell me I’m not getting one when I kicked up a fuss they threatened to take away my rent allowance
have your say