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THERE WAS A time, in the not so distant past, when ‘being on top of things’ was not only realistic, but expected. Those days are gone.
We have to let go of our fantasy of getting back in control through better organisation; there is just too much information and too many demands on us, writes Tony Crabbe in Busy: How to Thrive in A World Of Too Much.
Buffeted by wave after wave of demands, we become overwhelmed, defeated and even begin to feel guilty. Accept it; you will never, ever be in control of everything again.
That should be hard for a recovering control freak to hear, but for me it’s actually quite a relief. Letting go has been a continuous thread through the talks I’ve had about this book project.
‘Pulling yourself out of burnout is about embracing your own capacity,’ Annika Fogarty of Mind Smart says. Embracing your own capacity. That to me hits the nail on the head of burnout and banana-level busyness.
You are probably a very capable person. But you have limitations. And that’s OK. That’s normal. We are not all Beyoncé. Even Beyoncé probably isn’t ‘Beyoncé’. If you can embrace and accept your own capacity, if you can lower your expectations (in a good way), it can take an awful lot of that pressure off you. For me, that release of pressure is where the magic of slow lies.
What can you take out of your life that is making you feel too stretched? Do you really have to make all the cupcakes for the parent–teacher meeting at the school again? Or can someone else do it this time? Or can you buy them in your local bakery? Do you absolutely have to work over the weekend to reach a Monday morning deadline or can you ask for more time, so that you can take a proper break and hit the ground running at the start of the new week? Do you really want to take on this project or are you just saying yes so as not to disappoint others?
Burnout and busyness are relative. But we have become competitive about our busyness, haven’t we? Take an honest look at how you feel when you send an email close to midnight or at dawn, or when you cancel another meet-up with a friend in favour of staying late at the office. Are you being a work martyr? Is that who you really want to be? Can you take a step out of the cult of busyness and forge a path at your own pace?
I think you can. There may be consequences. Maybe you won’t get a promotion. Maybe you’ll need to accept that you’ve reached the peak of your pay grade. Maybe you’ll have to embrace the power of no, and pass on opportunities. What is more important to you, really? Your health and happiness? Or your work and money? I’m not here to judge what your answer is. But I’m here to ask you this: what are the costs of burnout versus the gains of working all day, every day, without prioritising recovery time? Are you choosing work or life?
‘In the workplace,’ Carl Honoré, author of In Praise of Slow tells me, ‘those who will inherit the earth are those who know what speed to do things at. They know that certain things are fast, while other things need slowness. It’s about the dance between the two. The magic happens in that music as you move back and forth between fast and slow.’
For me, slow means calm and considered yet flexible, fluid and loosely controlled – anything too rigid feels like the enemy of slow. It definitely doesn’t mean coming to a complete stop. Instead, it’s about stepping outside the cult of busyness to gain some perspective on the way we are choosing to spend our work days and whether we have the power to change that to make it more sustainable. Personally, I feel much clearer about what choice I want to make. I’m choosing my health and happiness. I’m leaving the cult of busyness.
It turns out that the secret of slow work is giving ourselves the space and time we need to master the art of knowing when to go fast and when to go slow.
Aoife McElwain is a freelance food writer, food stylist and creative events planner who lives in Dublin. Slow at Work by McElwain is published by Gill Books priced €14.99. You can buy the book in all good bookshops or online from Eason orDubray.
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Woooooo! Well done Scotland!
Fair play Scotland, showing other countries how it’s done!
Kinda proud to be Scottish today.
Suspended a/ “Anus”???
I have a feeling your one of our re-named Troll accounts.
Ignore him, Jeremy. He’s just an assho1e.
Scotland points the way. France has also permitted same sex marriage.
In time, Irish society will come to accept that horrible unfairness and the inherent discrimination involved in denying gay people the opportunity of same sex marriage.
Congrats Sean!
Ah has nowt to do with me, just happy for some people back home!
Still worth congratulating you. You come from a country that has made a great leap forward. Fair play to ya
To be fair, they were probably all pissed during the vote.
Ah, much like the dáil then is it? Feck it, they got the job done
See what can happen when a country refuses to let itself be dictated to by the church!
It’s fantastic isn’t it. People end up happier. Glad to see you’ve changed your tune Rodrigo
Good on ye Scotland!
?
Nice one Scotland
I’ll throw a party tonight to celebrate!
Congratulations, Scotland!
Now I wonder how long it will take for the “fabric of society” to fall asunder, or all the currently married people to feel that their own relationship is jeopardised!
I’m going for never.
Well, there is a storm coming.. And as we all know – gay people are responsible for the bad weather..
And autism. Oh and did you hear about the glass roof in RTE that collapsed. Apparently Shirley Temple Bar was there at the time. True story. Must have been Gods revenge
God’s revenge for the Iona payout!
The island Iona could def find a market in marrying Irish gay couples…
They could set up an Institute of Equal Marriage there.
How lovely would that be? The Iona Institute doing good, for a change.
Up your kilt!
Always the anonymous trolls who come out with the most homophobic comments….come on guys…..show your real profile and make the same comments!! Keyboard heroes!!!
What is it with all the gay stories today. Are we in the middle of some secret gayfest or something?
If you were in the middle of a gayfest I’m sure you’d know
“Back into the pile!!”
Clearly you don’t know what a gay festa is by that question, you should go to one just so you know.
Shame we can’t have the referendum a little sooner.
I was kinda hoping we would do it before our friends across the water
every one to there own. ..but dont need it rammed down our neck. ..for example and this is fact
protesting to have pictures of man and woman marriages taken down from register offices as they feel it’s bias and not equal. ..come on you got yer vote leave ua who believe in the marriage of a man and woman at peace
You do know, that tomorrow heterosexual people in Scotland WILL be able to get married in peace.
Nothing will be rammed down your throat.
You do realise that the vote was in Scotland right?
Patric – did I see you in Jurassic Park?
Patric…. How would you feel if you were not allowed marry the person you love because the law discriminates against you even tho you are a tax paying citizen involved in nothing more disturbing or illegal than being in love..?????…… gay people don’t want extra or special rights. .. Just The equal rights that the rest of our population have
How about you don’t ram hetrosexuality down our throats with all your different sexed marriages, mixed gender couples in the media and on the street. Even most of the politicians are ramming it down our throats by being blatantly married to someone of the opposite gender whilst holding office. Dreadful!
Upset you are losing your privilege? Well tough, losing privilege is not oppression.
Cyberspice, I wanted to high five you for that brilliant response.
As a matter of interest Patric – where is this supposed to be happening?
I’d say if we keep fighting for it, gay marriage in Ireland will be permitted within the next hundred years or so!
It’s a matter of the Government leading out the Referendum. It will be a very popular Referendum and it will pass easily. It’s a shoe in for the short to medium term.
Politicians can recognised a vote catcher.
I don’t care about the motives. I just want to see my gay brothers and sisters have the opportunity that straight people take for granted. Equality cannot come soon enough.
Dirt
I know you are but what about me?
I know now why them jocks like the kilt. they will be celebrating in suckyeall street.
Chris, nice avatar. Who is he?
Says the fella with the gay avatar.
Congrats to Scotland. #Revolutionof love
The logical outcome for a country that embraced Calvinism?
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