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Maria Walsh 'It might be a questioning glance or a curt refusal to shake my hand'

On International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia, we must stand in solidarity, writes Maria Walsh.

MY INTERNATIONAL ROSE of Tralee journey was unexpected. Much to the surprise of some, we don’t set out to be the ‘lovely ladies’ or the girls ‘with nice bottoms’. The experience of each rose is different, precisely because of her own unique differences.

So how was I different? Well, I represented Philadelphia. I was born American but raised Irish. I was a Pioneer. I was an advocate for young people. I was fiercely independent and considered fashion ‘savvy’. And, oh, yes, I was gay.

When speaking with the journalists after I was crowned, I was insistent on just one thing: you must share my whole story. And so they did. Being gay was just part of that story, but because it challenged people’s expectations it was the story people latched onto.

Other people’s expectations

I am fortunate to have felt comfortable in my own skin for some time. However there are certain incidents I look back on in my life that remind me of the feelings drummed up by other people’s expectations of who I am.

It might manifest as a questioning glance, an oddly put sentiment or even a curt refusal to shake a hand. Small, often apparently meaningless incidents that can nevertheless have an effect on one’s sense of self over time.

I have had the privilege to have travelled at length. On all of these journeys I often reflect on the place I was visiting and its expectations of me. Some cultures and communities celebrate who I am, including my sexual orientation, and how others, many others, can never know that part of me.

LGBTQ+ rights

In 2015, I visited Tanzania. I was on a ten-hour bus journey cross country with a mix of Tanzanians and Irish. Mid way through the journey, a debate was sparked on the bus on LGBTIQ+ rights.

Being the only known LGBTIQ+ individual on the journey, I was dragged into the discussion. One of my colleagues with whom I had a good rapport, Julian from Tanzania, was shocked and interacted differently with me after I told him I was gay. He did not expect this from me. I was the first lesbian (to his knowledge) that he had ever met.

He told me he didn’t think lesbians really existed. He said he thought I was a nice person but couldn’t understand why I was ‘different’. How could I disrespect the teachings of God, my parents, and my community? Over the course of the hour we shared and debated a lot.

Before leaving, Julian and I developed a better understanding of each other’s perspective and of the culture and beliefs that shaped each of us.

Marginalised and excluded

Article 1, Universal Declaration of Human Rights, of the UN General Assembly states that all human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights, yet LGBTIQ+ youth are among the most marginalised and excluded members of society.

We have significant work to do in support of our global LGBTIQ+ Community. 72 States or countries still criminalise same-sex sexual relations. In eight States or countries, such relations are punishable by the death penalty.

Legal challenges, combined with gender inequality, harmful social norms and practices towards adolescents who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or intersex or those who are questioning their sexual orientation or gender identity (LGBTIQ+) fuels stigma, discrimination and violence, often to an extreme level.

This can have lasting consequences on their social and psychological health and have substantial adverse effects on society as a whole.

In Thailand, research conducted by Plan International in 2014 found that 56% of school students surveyed, who identify as LGBTIQ+ had been bullied in the past month. Among them, 31% experienced physical abuse, 29% verbal abuse and 24% sexual abuse.

Plan International believes that working with adolescents to challenge discrimination works. The organisation works with young people, parents, local organisations, schools and the government to prevent bullying and violence, provide counselling and make primary and secondary schools safer for LGBTIQ+ youth.

International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia

Everyone – regardless of their sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression or sex characteristics – deserves equal access to opportunities and services and their safety should be protected.

Today, especially on International Day Against Homophobia, Transphobia and Biphobia, which was launched 14 years ago to raise awareness of the violence and discrimination faced by the LGBTIQ+ community, we must stand in solidarity and do all we can to protect and prevent further abuse of our global LGBTIQ+ community.

We all have the right to love and be who we want, and we must encourage this narrative as often as we can.

Maria Walsh is a broadcaster, 2014 International Rose of Tralee and Plan International Ireland Ambassador. Maria is known for her deep commitment to youth and gender equality and her passion for youth empowerment and education. Co-writer Aidan Leavy leads Plan International’s inclusion work by providing technical support for programming and influencing initiatives, developing guidance and tailoring capacity building for staff at multiple levels. To find out more about Plan International’s work with LGBTIQ+, see Plan.ie.

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    Mute Joe Traynor
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    Jul 11th 2013, 6:53 AM

    What a complete waste of money, this is going to be a bonanza for dodgy fas trained web designers putting up lame websites for dog groomers and hairdressers. Any business that has a genuine online business model should invest in their own business. Instead of a grant why not a low interest loan?

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    Mute Andy Murray
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    Jul 11th 2013, 7:21 AM

    Joe, I have grown a business from 1 employee to 14 without any financial backing over the last few years, so I feel qualified to comment here. First off, I think this is an excellent idea – for a small business this would be a huge help. Businesses NEED to be on the web these days, but it does cost about 2500 for the most basic decent web presence (unless you are a web designer yourself). Small businesses don’t have that kind of money. It’s a vicious circle. You know you could increase sales (way more than 2500 per year) with a good web presence, but you don’t have the spare money to get one and the banks won’t lend it to you unless you are buying something tangible that they could repossess if they had to. Websites do not fall into this category.
    Second, there’s nothing wrong in Fas trained people. Whenever I hear people talking down FAS training, I know they have never employed anyone who has completed a fas course. It’s an unfounded prejudice with no basis in fact, you are merely quoting “bloke down the pub says…” and it doesn’t reflect well on you. I’ve employed 4 fas trained people and they are excellent.

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    Mute Andy Murray
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    Jul 11th 2013, 7:23 AM

    Having said all that, yes, I think the idea of a low cost loan, with a long repayment period is a fair compromise, though.

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    Mute Jeroen Bos
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    Jul 11th 2013, 7:32 AM

    I agree with most of your points Andy, but I think Joe is talking about FAS trained web designers. I am a web designer myself and I agree with him that a course in web design with FAS doesn’t make you a designer. You might learn how a website can be created, mostly with outdated software and techniques, but the design part is not taught. This results in pretty ugly bloated websites.

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    Mute cormac flynn
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    Jul 11th 2013, 9:16 AM

    IT Developers can not be got at the moment, lucky for them they are flat out if they are good.

    Good sentiment here but poor execution again. Grants are a joke. We need on the ground assistance, less red tape and a lowering of costs for doing business.

    This is like what FF did in the 90s &00s horsing out grants to build and worsened a “building bubble”. IT Developers will do as the builders did and jack up prices.

    I wonder if an IT lobby had anything to do with this decision??
    Oh I am getting very cynical about politics in this country.

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    Mute john cooling
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    Jul 11th 2013, 10:37 AM

    Andy I have what I believe to be a brilliant web based business idea but cannot secure funding to get it off the ground,as a man who seems to know about such things what would you recommend my next step to be? Thanks in advance.

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    Mute Darren Ó Ceallaigh
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    Jul 11th 2013, 3:21 PM

    John, I’m working on a few ideas online myself at the present with a business partner. There are ways of doing it cheap. Drop me an email if you’re interested, darrenoceall@gmail.com

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    Mute Paul Roche
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    Jul 12th 2013, 2:31 AM

    Use open source software, dip into your own pocket and start designing.

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    Mute Andy Murray
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    Jul 12th 2013, 6:49 AM

    John, try kickstarter. Crowd funding is really taking off. Either that or talk to enterprise Ireland about their hpsu (high potential start up) programme. Good luck.

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    Mute myownboss
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    Jul 11th 2013, 7:34 AM

    Why not cut real business costs for us like rates! If 2,500 was gone off my rates bill this year it would be a start! Government please start listening to small business’s, we are on our knees. Asking business’s who don’t have a shilling to spare to “match” any money invested by government is down right insulting at this moment in time, as we struggle daily to pay government induced costs. We need urgent incentives that mean something, not watery options like this were only a few will benefit!

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    Mute Taxi Bill
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    Jul 11th 2013, 9:31 AM

    Lets face iy it looks better for Rabbitte to be seen givng out (taxpayers) money than cutting rates and sorting out restrictive rent contracts.

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    Mute Adam Hurley
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    Jul 11th 2013, 11:12 AM

    Your rates aren’t set by central government they’re set by your local authority.

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    Mute Patitas
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    Jul 11th 2013, 7:23 AM

    In the meantime at Enda’s breakfast table…eur 50 tax for every new domain plus we can create the mb tax, that works out at…

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    Mute John Thomas
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    Jul 11th 2013, 7:34 AM

    Once the money is handed over to a damn good web designer or developer then I think it’s a great idea for small business. Portfolio and good testimonials/refererrals can help you find the right developer or else It’s money down the drain.

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    Mute David S. Armstrong
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    Jul 11th 2013, 8:48 AM

    Seconded.

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    Mute TheIrishBrain
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    Jul 11th 2013, 9:25 AM

    People with MONEY to purchase products, thats what small business requires.

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    Mute Ger
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    Jul 11th 2013, 1:53 PM

    A business owner that needs to be incentivised to get online, is not a business owner that should be in business.

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    Mute richardmccarthy
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    Jul 11th 2013, 8:14 AM

    I just find it incredible that just 37pc of SME business in this country use the internet and now they are being subsidised by the taxpayers with a grant to do do,i have used it for years and im nearing 70,and would find life impossible without it, as would most people,as i say it just beggers belief.

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    Mute Darren Norris
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    Jul 11th 2013, 9:49 AM

    sPEND IT IMPROVING THE BROADBAND NETWORKS OUTSIDE OF DUBLIN, THEN MAYBE A BUSINESS CAN ACTUALLY GET ONLINE TO SET UP A WEBSITE!

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    Mute Niall Ó Dochartaigh
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    Jul 11th 2013, 7:31 AM

    Super idea! Good move by the govt!

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    Mute TheIrishBrain
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    Jul 11th 2013, 9:22 AM

    You really must be stupid.

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    Mute Niall Ó Dochartaigh
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    Jul 11th 2013, 9:33 AM

    Hey Brian,

    Take your negative comments and name calling some place else. If you have a counter suggestion on how the govt can assist small companies I would love to hear it.

    Name calling is for little boys.

    Good lad Brian.

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    Mute TheIrishBrain
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    Jul 11th 2013, 10:07 AM

    It is not name calling its an observational comment, Unlike your back Kenny and Co at all cost reductions contribution.

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    Mute Niall Ó Dochartaigh
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    Jul 11th 2013, 10:49 AM

    Kenny has his major faults however this initiative is a great one. To think it is stupid is stupid, are you stupid?

    Actually you sentence does not make sense. It’s grammatically poor.

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    Mute TheIrishBrain
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    Jul 11th 2013, 12:26 PM

    You are correct the word “reductions” should have been “ridiculous”

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    Mute Niall Ó Dochartaigh
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    Jul 11th 2013, 5:24 PM

    No counter suggestion then Brian or are you just a negative person who points out faults and doesn’t contribute?

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    Mute M Bowe
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    Jul 11th 2013, 9:59 AM

    The majority of SME’s are begging for cash flow. Free up cash to assist in this. And not thro the corrupt banking system. Companies like pay pal, visa etc take up to 6 months to forward payments to suppliers from
    On line sales. Where is the working capital for even 60 days coming from. No bank over drafts or credit facilities for established SME. What chance a new start venture have???

    6
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    Mute ClubHotelBars.ie
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    Jul 11th 2013, 9:07 AM

    Support for SME’s. Started a new business, promised before I came off the live register of a grant from my local development office. Went for grant to be told in April I may add that there was no funds left for that grant for the rest of the year. Disgraceful !!

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    Mute David S. Armstrong
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    Jul 11th 2013, 8:47 AM

    As initiatives go, it’s a step in the right direction, but there is a caveat – and this is not a complaint, but a genuine concern, which I hope will be yielded by even one SME business owner.

    I hope there is some vetting involved in sourcing the website designers and developers, before a lump sum is paid out. My fear is that a growing number of template-merchants and hack ‘designers’ will be running (if not sprinting) to cash in on this.

    So – please vet any third party based on portfolio, testimonials, ask for ‘links’ to previous work (and how these sites are doing on Google), and an outline of their working process, discuss website warranty etc

    A hint; if you receive offers of simply ‘x pages for x€’, this is selling on a template as a commodity, and ‘not’ an invested designer interested in finding a ‘solution’ for your business.

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    Mute Chris
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    Jul 11th 2013, 8:44 AM

    Muppet

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    Mute Williams Andres
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    Nov 15th 2014, 4:18 AM

    End your financial worries today:

    I am from Russia I can smile with this God Fearing man I received a loan of $45,000.USD last two weeks also two of my colleagues have also received loans from this man without any difficulty. I advise you not to choose the wrong person if you actually apply for a cash loan for your project and any other. I publish this message because Mr.Andres Williams made me feel blessed with his loan. It is through a friend I met this honest and generous God fearing man who helped me get this loan fund to regulate your life, You needed financial help, You are stuck, No access to bank credit, or do not have the benefit of a bank, you need to finance your construction, real estate development, creating your own business up your personal business, you have seen and need to make money, a bad credit or need money to pay bills or debts. So I advise you out there to kindly contact and meet you for the services you ask of him. His contact address: andresloanfirm07@live.com
    Contact him for more information, be clear and honest.

    His Email: andresloanfirm07@live.com

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