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Abused aged 6: 'I was screaming and had to be tied into a buggy with a rope to be brought to school'

Thomas Hogan said that even as a child he knew the clergy ruled and that he couldn’t say anything negative about a Christian Brother.

IRISH MEN AND women who were sexually abused in Irish schools when they were children are still fighting for redress, despite the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR) finding the Irish State liable for abuse suffered by Cork woman Louise O’Keeffe in 2014.

Prior to that judgement, both the High Court and Supreme Court had ruled that the State was not liable for the abuse O’Keeffe suffered. Subsequently, the State Claims Agency wrote to 135 people who had taken cases against the State, inviting them to withdraw their complaints, warning they would also fail in their attempts. 

It is now four years on from the ECHR ruling but Irish people abused as children in our schools are still fighting for redress. 

TheJournal.ie has spoken to some of the men battling for justice and heard about the abuse they suffered as children and the impact it has had on their lives. 

Thomas Hogan is one of those men. 

He remembers being tied into a buggy with rope to be brought to school when he was six years old.

He didn’t want to go because he was being sexually abused by his teacher and couldn’t tell his family.

I knew that I couldn’t bring home a negative story about the clergy. I’d be killed. The church ruled our house.

Hogan was sexually abused by his teacher at Creagh Lane National School in Limerick. The abuse started when he was just six. He had the same teacher for two years and the abuse continued during that time.

The children never spoke about it, we just kept our heads down and our mouths shut.

“I had the name of being very bold and very wild as a child and I was tied into a buggy with a rope to be brought into school.

The story was, ‘Thomas is very bold. Thomas doesn’t want to go into school.’ Thomas was not bold at all – Thomas was terrified.

“I had to be tied into that buggy to be brought to school but I couldn’t say why I was screaming and why I didn’t want to go to school.

“When I look at my kids, how could you say they’re bold or they’re crazy at that age? They’re not. They’re babies, they’re children, they’re perfect. No matter what they do they’re perfect because there’s no malice in it, they’re children.

“I was brought up in Limerick with my aunt and her three daughters.

Hogan describes his grandfather, the main male figure in his life, as “a big, strong man”. He was a dock labourer and struggled with alcoholism, but Hogan says his grandfather  was also extremely religious.

He was at Mass every morning, every morning he was at Mass… I knew the clergy ruled the house.

“When the priest came in, it was like ‘God Almighty’ came into the house.

“We were dominated by the church to the point that they could do whatever they wanted.”

Abuse

Hogan was abused by ex-Christian Brother Seán Drummond, the same teacher that abused Christopher Rainbow who we spoke to a fortnight ago.

He would drag the boys up to a high desk at the top of the classroom. He had a stool inside the desk and would put the boys in between his legs.

Hogan said that, even the days you weren’t called up, you knew what was happening because you had been there. They were scared every morning because they never knew when they would be picked.

“You could be called up for anything. You could be asked a question and fail on the question. He would create his opportunity.

A good day at school was when you weren’t molested. When you weren’t brought up to the desk.

“Even if it mightn’t happen you for a month, you still left home every morning terrified.

I can’t recall very much about being seven, but I can recall the fear of that and I can recall the anger of it, not being able to say or do anything about it.

In 2009, Drummond was sentenced to two years in prison for indecently assaulting 19 boys.

‘I lost all interest’

“I’d go into school that morning and I knew I’d be slapped around for not having my homework done but I could accept that, that was okay.

As long as I wasn’t sexually assaulted, I didn’t care.

“School didn’t register with me at all. I never did my homework, I lost all interest.

“The way I can describe it is, it had so much of an effect on me that when I went into school, I knew I was going in for trouble in some shape or form but the minute I got out of school, I was free.

“I would hit the swamps, hit the river. I wouldn’t be home until god knows how long and I was free. I wouldn’t do my homework, I never learned to read or write.

“As soon I got to sixth class, I was gone.”

However, years later when Hogan’s daughter was born in 1983, he decided he wanted to go back to education to do his Leaving Cert.

He was now 23 years old, it was some 16 years after the abuse, but it still had a firm hold on him.

“I went back and I sat in the classroom and I almost got sick. I sweated… I was at the point of peeing myself, I got such a fright. I ran out of the school.”

He tried again. And then again.

“The other two times I tried to go back to gain some bit of education, I just couldn’t bring myself to go back the second night.

The first night was horrific, it was emotional, it was upsetting. The second time and the third time, I was prepared for that but I just couldn’t go through it. I couldn’t stay in the classroom.

Hogan also struggled with alcohol but has been sober since 1987.

“I’m an alcoholic and I went through the whole scene but I haven’t drank since my son was born. I’m 30 years sober.”

‘I was scared of life’

Hogan says he struggled with authority and anger for his whole life.

“Even in my working career, I’ve drifted from job to job – low-income and everything else – and the reason that I couldn’t stay in a job was, anybody who ever had control over me or could tell me what to do, I hated them.

“I hated my aunt, I hated my grandfather. I hated them because they were in control of me and they could put me to school.

But it was never actually what was causing the anger, I could never deal with being sexually assaulted. I hated everybody because I could focus on that.

“I couldn’t stand anybody having control over me – yet I never wanted to take control either.

“I was offered an apprenticeship when I was younger as a saw doctor and I never went with that, I could have travelled with that but sure I wasn’t confident enough in myself to go travelling or take a job in another country.

The trade was there, the ability was there but the confidence wasn’t there. The confidence is everything.

“I was scared of life. I lived my life around the damage that was done.”

IMG_0113 (1)

Vocads 

About a year before Drummond was convicted and sentenced to jail, a garda asked Hogan to call over to the station but he recalls saying to him: ‘Do we have to go here?’

“At the time [the garda called] I was sorry it ever happened, I was sorry it ever came out. The shame of it – but now I’m glad.”

Hogan has since joined Vocads, Victims Of Child Abuse in Day Schools, and says it ‘saved him’.

“It was only from meeting these lads in later years, I could actually say I was sexually assaulted. It was only lately then I could get a handle on my problems and where they came from.

Meeting the other men in Vocads, that’s what has saved me. That’s what allowed me to handle my situation. I think I’ve come through the other side.

“It was only the forming of this group, of us getting together after so many years, that I could talk about it, that I could tell people I couldn’t read or write, that I begin to analyse it for what happened because before we had it suppressed. We had it psychologically buried, it was sort of frozen as far as we were concerned.

I cannot read or write. At this stage of my life, I’m not ashamed of that anymore. I know that I’m not an ignorant person. I know I’m not a stupid person. I’m a very forgiving, compassionate and caring person.

“It had an impact on all our lives, it created the lives that we lived.”

Describing seeing Drummond in court in 2009, Hogan says “it was horrifying”.

‘Missed opportunities’

Vocads is fighting for redress from the State but survivors of abuse have a long history of battling with the Irish State.

In the high-profile case of Cork woman Louise O’Keefe, both the High Court and Supreme Court ruled that the State was not responsible for abuse she suffered in primary school, but the European Court of Human Rights (ECHR) overruled their judgements.

Following that ruling, the State said it would make settlement offers of up to €84,000 to people bringing cases similar to O’Keeffe’s.

However, the government argues that the ECHR decision applies only to people who were abused after an initial complaint was made against a teacher and no action was taken.

This has been widely criticised with survivors saying it essentially means that the second child abused by a teacher is entitled to a settlement but the first isn’t. O’Keefe described it as “discrimination of the highest order”.

Asked what redress would mean to him, Hogan said: “It’s sort of holding whose responsible to account and knowing we’ve achieved it.”

He added, “If they had come out at the time Drummond was convicted and said ‘okay guys, at the time we didn’t do our job and we’re sorry’, that would have nearly been enough.

“I can nearly say to you that that may have been enough for me but for the abuse that we’ve got from the government so far from then to this … it’s not enough. We need to hold them to task.

“Somebody said to me before, ‘It’s all about the money isn’t it? … It’s about lost opportunity, it’s about things I can’t leave my kids, it’s about having to suffer menial jobs all my life.

“It’s not going to change anything for me, it’s not going to take away the anger but it’s recognition for the damage that was done and who was responsible.”

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49 Comments
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    Mute Carmel O'Shea
    Favourite Carmel O'Shea
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:08 AM

    No effect on me. Some of the patterns look pretty, like the snail shell.

    230
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    Mute fergus
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    Sep 14th 2013, 12:29 PM

    Which hole does it scutter out of.lol

    24
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    Mute Alan Lawlor
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:51 AM

    Its not the holes in the Lotus fruit that gives me the willies. It is those eyes peeking out of them.

    195
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    Mute Fergal Kelly
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    Sep 14th 2013, 11:33 AM

    U was wondering myself whether being put off by the eyes made me an *insert word here*

    16
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    Mute Orla
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:13 AM

    All this time I thought I was a freak. Please can someone tell me if there’s a cure? I could only look at the first one and now my day is ruined. I can’t actually believe there’s a name for it!

    122
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    Mute Little Jim
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:13 AM

    Evolution has passed me by, I’d happily pick any of them up.

    103
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    Mute Robin Pickering
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:55 AM

    Au contraire, young Jim. Evolution has hit the pause button for the 16%, not you!

    46
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    Mute Little Jim
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    Sep 16th 2013, 11:20 AM

    Thanks Robin, just picked up this puffer fish.
    It’s not good.

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    Mute karla carroll
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:07 AM

    I like looking at the above images. Love the frogs…

    84
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    Mute Kitty Prendergast
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:12 AM

    That lotus pod thing totally gives me the willies!!!! :-0

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    Mute karla carroll
    Favourite karla carroll
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:22 AM

    The lotus pod looks like a larvae pod. Thanks to my dad keeping maggots in the fridge when I was a kid the picture has no affect on me.

    I find looking at the honey comb gives me a sense of tranquility.

    30
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    Mute R
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    Sep 14th 2013, 11:07 AM

    Where did you keep your food? Were they live?

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    Mute karla carroll
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    Sep 14th 2013, 3:03 PM

    They were kept in a container in the fridge along side our food. He used them for fishing.

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    Mute Patricia Mc Cann
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:14 AM

    I think most of them are beautiful

    51
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    Mute O'Reilly
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:06 AM

    Try them with a Sinn Fein/ULA budget proposal…

    47
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    Mute Stephen Downey
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:17 AM

    Hahaha…that’s brilliant that is! Really brilliant….More!More!More!

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    Mute Sean Claffey
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:18 AM

    Thanks

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    Mute Dermot Mc Loughlin
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:19 AM

    Oh for f**k sake.

    35
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    Mute Malachy Quinn
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    Sep 15th 2013, 9:39 AM

    Yes terrifying if you are on a large wage & avoiding Tax by the FF,FG & LAB schemes designed to benefit the elite!
    For what died the sons of Roisin,
    Was it greed!

    1
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    Mute Natalie May
    Favourite Natalie May
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:43 AM

    I’ve had this for years and never knew why it freaked me out. The lotus thing makes me feel terror and disgust and physically ill!
    Not sure I agree with the study findings though as none of those poisonous animals freak me out.
    To fellow sufferers: now that you know the name don’t google it. The images that come up will disturb you for weeks! I made that mistake about a year ago!
    *shudders*

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    Mute Fergal Kelly
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    Sep 14th 2013, 11:37 AM

    Aw man!!! I wasn’t freaked out by the holes so figured I was safe enough to do exactly what you said not to do….. Now I’m resolved to staying in bed under my covers forever.

    22
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    Mute Jean McGrath
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:30 AM

    The lotus fruit image freaked me out a bit it looks like eyes staring out of the holes

    42
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    Mute Emma Brennan
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:16 AM

    First picture really gets to me!

    28
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    Mute Pokey2013
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:39 AM

    Call me nerd, but i think this really interesting stuff! I never thought that the patterns would be just as important as the crazy colours for warning off predators. I don’t think I have a phobia but there is definitely some faint weirdness going on!

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    Mute Eileen McGovern
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:31 AM

    Most of them are quite pretty! But the first one looks like loads of eyeballs! Yuck!

    26
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    Mute Chopstix
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:15 AM

    Trippppy!!!

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    Mute Lorraine Cosgrove
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    Sep 14th 2013, 12:42 PM

    You’ve just ruined my day :( vomit

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    Mute Carcu Sidub
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:48 AM

    In other news 85.87% of statistics are made up.

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    Mute Vic
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:53 AM

    I remember reading the Ryanair flight magazine last year and there was an article in which the writer described that he had eaten so much Hawaiian pizza that he felt like pineapple was squeezing from his pores. That image still turns my stomach and turned me completely off my favourite pizza. I’ve never read his articles again when flying.

    Apologies if I’ve turned anyone else’s stomach, blame Ryanair. Eugh I’m getting shivers thinking about it.

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    Mute Vonny Gavican
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:50 AM

    They’re all so colourful and pretty

    6
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    Mute Liam O Sullivan
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    Sep 14th 2013, 12:17 PM

    It ain’t the honeycomb that freaks me out but being that close to potentially hundreds of bees would make me kak the pants…

    5
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    Mute Emmett McNamara
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    Sep 14th 2013, 2:11 PM

    absolutely disgusting images. you can add the inside of a pepper to that. pure revulsion

    5
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    Mute Sharon Larkin
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:55 AM

    That blob thing that was named the ugliest creature really did turn my stomach. I’m sure he’s a lovely fella once you get to know him

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    Mute Noel Noblett
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:50 AM

    The first two images made me gag, the second image in particular.

    5
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    Mute Laura W
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    Sep 14th 2013, 11:24 AM

    I don’t have a phobia but I actually feel a bit sick now after looking at a couple of those. How bizarre. I’d never heard of it before

    4
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    Mute Siobhan O'Brien
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    Sep 14th 2013, 3:20 PM

    The spots on a banana or on a pancake make me feel funny.

    3
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    Mute Catherine Sims
    Favourite Catherine Sims
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    Sep 14th 2013, 11:53 AM

    I thought they were pretty some even beautiful . Wonder how the feck my ancestors survived at all if we don’t possess this genetic fear of poisonous animal and plant life. Can just Imagine it now. Sp pretty must taste ………

    3
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    Mute Niamh O'Regan
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    Sep 16th 2013, 2:47 PM

    First one freaks me out

    2
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    Mute Anthony Byrne
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    Sep 14th 2013, 5:40 PM

    The blue frog looks extremely unpredictable. Wouldnt trust him.

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    Mute Lorraine Keane
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:58 AM

    Yuck

    1
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    Mute Kat D
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    Sep 14th 2013, 1:28 PM

    U know what makes me ill…the inside of yellow melons!!! The pips/seeds and slime turn my stomach something shockin!!!!

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    Mute Marie Boran
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    Sep 17th 2013, 6:03 PM

    It’s more disgusting when it’s photoshopped like this: http://th04.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2012/239/a/e/trypophobia_by_otettttt-d5clgnk.jpg
    *barf*

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    Mute John Ward
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    Sep 14th 2013, 1:28 PM

    Unfortunately, the first picture reminds me of the “shower heads” in the Auschwitz gas chambers.
    Apart from that awful association, I find the pictures interesting.

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    Mute Kieran Casey
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    Sep 14th 2013, 10:47 PM

    Ya im not a fan of small holes myself:/

    1
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