Advertisement

We need your help now

Support from readers like you keeps The Journal open.

You are visiting us because we have something you value. Independent, unbiased news that tells the truth. Advertising revenue goes some way to support our mission, but this year it has not been enough.

If you've seen value in our reporting, please contribute what you can, so we can continue to produce accurate and meaningful journalism. For everyone who needs it.

John Cooper Clarke Paul Wolfgang Webster

John Cooper Clarke: 'I heard on the news that Bono's leather pants were robbed, so I put it to rhyme'

The godfather of British performance poetry will embark on an Irish tour in March and April.

MORE THAN THREE decades passed between the publication of John Cooper Clarke’s last two poetry collections.

During that time, Clarke has appeared everywhere from The Sopranos, to Arctic Monkeys recordings, the UK school syllabus, and ads for Sugar Puffs.

But casual fans of the so-called ‘Bard of Salford’ might be hard pushed to name the 1983 collection, Ten Years In an Open Necked Shirt, that was his last published work before The Luckiest Guy Alive came out last year.

So what was he doing between both collections? “I don’t have an intelligent answer,” he tells TheJournal.ie.

“I’m just bone idle. But you’ve just got to keep trying. Inspiration’s for amateurs – I’m a professional. Some days are better than others: sometimes it ain’t happening, sometimes it is.”

Instead, a unique performative style has seen him dubbed “the godfather of British performance poetry” and endeared him to fans across the world.

Clarke first shot to fame as the ‘people’s poet’ alongside British punk bands in the late 1970s, and his rapid delivery of humourous verse led to him being dubbed a “punk poet”.

The tag has no doubt been aided by his distinctive appearance, with Ronnie Wood-like hair and dark sunglasses a constant throughout his decades of fame.

But he jokes that, despite his rock star credentials, he could never be in a band.

“I’m not really a team player,” he says.

“From time to time I’ve worked with musicians in the studio on albums and things like that. But every school report I got back in the day said the same thing: no team spirit.

“I think that would forbid me from being in a band. I’m too much of a person of sudden impulse. You can’t do that when you’re working on a committee with five other guys.

“You just can’t work in the way that I like to work. Let’s give it a name: I’m a control freak, and as such, unbearable in a bad situation. I’m a tyrant.”

Bono’s trousers

Earlier this week, Clarke announced a series of April shows across Ireland – on top of an appearance at Dublin’s Vicar Street in March – to promote his new book.

The tour will take in dates in Letterkenny, Belfast, Sligo and Cork, locations Clarke says he has been to many times before and describes as “fantastic”.

On top of his thoughts on life, jokes, and classic material, fans can also expect to hear some of the poems in his latest collection.

The book contains verses on the destructive rampage of a 50ft tall woman, the fragile temperament of someone on psychedelic drugs, and an policeman who has a mental breakdown (“PC gone mad”).

There’s even a piece about Bono’s trousers.

“That’s something that actually happened – I heard it on the news on Radio 4,” he says.

“There was one of those ‘save the planet’ type meetings that they have, and I heard Bono had been robbed of his key pieces: the stetson, the shades, and the leather pants.

“So I converted it, hot off the news, into rhyme.”

But although the news might seem like an easy source of inspiration (“something’s happening all the time”), Clarke points out that he aims to avoid too much direct social commentary.

“I don’t really deal with politics at all, because it would date what I do in my poems,” he says.

“What I write is nothing to do with what’s happening this week. I like to think that I deal with all the eternal stuff, irrespective of things like Britain leaving the EU.

“I leave that to people who know what they’re talking about.”

The luckiest guy alive

At the same time, Clarke acknowledges that his work has social value when asked how he felt about his poems being taught on the UK’s school syllabus (“really glad”).

However, he’s almost as quick to distinguish himself as different to those he appears alongside in school textbooks.

“People have asked me since I began in poetry if I consider myself a romantic, because as everybody knows, the language of romance is poetry,” he says.

“My answer to that question is always the same: yes, I consider myself to a romantic – but to a sadistic degree.”

Despite his self-deprecation, Clarke doesn’t blink when asked if he considers himself the luckiest guy alive, as the title of his new book suggests.

“Oh without a doubt, no contest,” he says.

“I’ve got it all baby: a lovely wife, a beautiful daughter, a nice place to live. I make a living out of doing what it is that I’ll do anyway.

“What more could you possibly ask for than this?”

John Cooper Clarke will play in Dublin next month, and in Letterkenny, Belfast, Sligo and Cork in April as part of ‘The Luckiest Guy Alive Tour’.

Close
16 Comments
This is YOUR comments community. Stay civil, stay constructive, stay on topic. Please familiarise yourself with our comments policy here before taking part.
Leave a Comment
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Jackson Bollovks
    Favourite Jackson Bollovks
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:21 AM

    $cumbags

    762
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Pascal Coleman
    Favourite Pascal Coleman
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:31 AM

    @Jackson Bollovks: Totally agree……but a little part of me is impressed at the lengths these lovely fellas have gone to on this occasion!

    334
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Christy Nolan
    Favourite Christy Nolan
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 2:03 AM

    @Jackson Bollovks:
    I don’t believe this story and I am not joking.
    What’s the agenda??

    14
    See 3 more replies ▾
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Gus Sheridan
    Favourite Gus Sheridan
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:06 AM

    @Pascal Coleman: these lovely fellows are a cancer in society, someone tell Fitzgerald and the untrustworthy commissioner to sort these criminals out.

    89
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Ciaran Coye
    Favourite Ciaran Coye
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:05 PM

    They wouldn’t be operating if there wasn’t a market for what they are selling. I’ll bet that a lot of those who condemn their actions have no problem putting a few lines up their nostrils at the weekend.

    30
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Gary
    Favourite Gary
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 4:22 PM

    @Clever Jake: jaysus how do they let you vote.

    7
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Stephen
    Favourite Stephen
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 1:30 AM

    I blame the poles.

    386
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Colette Kearns
    Favourite Colette Kearns
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:27 AM

    Legalize the drugs with a 15% tax & invest all proceeds to our hospitals! Someone is making serious money here & I doubt very much its whom we might think it is!!

    288
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Karl Cleary
    Favourite Karl Cleary
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:33 AM

    @Colette Kearns: legalise cocaine? Yeah that would be very smart!!!!

    355
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Ck2
    Favourite Ck2
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:37 AM

    @Colette Kearns:
    Legalise cocaine…..what a stupid comment.
    And 15% tax yet I pay 23% on nearly everything else I buy.

    422
    See 9 more replies ▾
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Barry Davidson
    Favourite Barry Davidson
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 1:07 AM

    @Colette Kearns: the sad thing is there a lots of people that think it’s a bad idea to legalise drugs. Ignorance and hypocrisy.

    88
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Colette Kearns
    Favourite Colette Kearns
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 1:40 AM

    @Karl Cleary, its the rich person’s drug so why not, doctors lawyers politicians religious people use it all the time ( dont know if you remember how they tested the top of loos in the dail bar & came up very positive for cocaine) If its made legal then there is more safety measures in place

    77
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute John O'Driscoll
    Favourite John O'Driscoll
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:07 AM

    Cocaine was legal in Victorian times and society didn’t fall apart. The Monarch’s Royal warrant was even affixed to nostrums containing it. That said, it causes heart attack and aggression, to say the least, and nobody is talking about legalising it seriously.

    Decriminalising all drugs merely steers the user out of the criminal justice system and into the health system, not in any way lessening the sanctions and penalties against those who cause the harms, the dealers and pushers, kingpins and smugglers. In fact those sanctions can be increased if you like, without the current ineffectual targeting of sick people for their addictions.

    39
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Gus Sheridan
    Favourite Gus Sheridan
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:10 AM

    @Barry Davidson: look how Portugal has handled drugs use, making it illegal hasn’t been a success.

    44
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Pauliebhoy
    Favourite Pauliebhoy
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:34 AM

    @Gus Sheridan: maybe not but they won the Euros and Eurovision

    90
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute John O'Driscoll
    Favourite John O'Driscoll
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:37 AM

    Sang their hearts out they did.

    30
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Carlin Ite
    Favourite Carlin Ite
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 8:39 AM

    @Colette Kearns: sure that would only make sense

    9
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Gus Sheridan
    Favourite Gus Sheridan
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 11:58 AM

    @Pauliebhoy: and you can grow your own apparently…

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Conor Brady
    Favourite Conor Brady
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:29 PM

    @John O’Driscoll: they were probably high

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Niall O Neill
    Favourite Niall O Neill
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:34 AM

    I don’t see how the “strength” of the camera relates to it multi-tasking capability. Wrong adjective.

    190
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Jamie Mul
    Favourite Jamie Mul
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 2:29 PM

    @Niall O Neill: It zooms up to 11.

    19
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Jimmy Ireland
    Favourite Jimmy Ireland
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 8:49 PM

    @Jamie Mul: I was going to give you a thumbs up but you have 11 so I didn’t wanna run it.

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Paul
    Favourite Paul
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:34 AM

    Still sort of un breakable if that’s all they did……only different is the camera view!

    125
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Suzie Sunshine
    Favourite Suzie Sunshine
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:19 AM

    Maybe they should have had extra cameras watching over big brother …

    93
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Brendan McLaughlin
    Favourite Brendan McLaughlin
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 3:13 AM

    From the photo it looks to me that this giant of a surveillance camera with multiple zoom eyes, was placed directly overlooking obviously occupied houses and an estate!
    Even if a criminal lived in my street I would not want that invasive monster on my footstep.
    Thats the real injustice here.
    Open air prisons.

    98
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute JustOneScoop
    Favourite JustOneScoop
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:10 AM

    @Brendan McLaughlin: yeah right bren

    64
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Dave Doyle
    Favourite Dave Doyle
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 8:55 AM

    @Brendan McLaughlin: They need such CCTV to monitor a building site. Yeah, right.

    27
    See 8 more replies ▾
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Revolting Peasant
    Favourite Revolting Peasant
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 9:33 AM

    Spot on Brendan, installed under the guise of watching over a building site in a classic case of distraction from the real purpose of spying on residents by Gardaí. No criminality here just resistance to big brother. Take the lesson to be very suspicious and cynical of authority when they say it’s for your own good.

    12
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Sean Murphy
    Favourite Sean Murphy
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 10:31 AM

    @Revolting Peasant: no criminality here….. I live nearby and criminals are destroying the place and decent people have nothing to fear. Go educate yourself about the area. I nominate your comment stupidest of the year.

    27
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Revolting Peasant
    Favourite Revolting Peasant
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:16 PM

    @Sean Murphy: I used to live up the road in Palmerstown, I know the area and its reputation but this is still state surveillance. How about proper policing, prosecution and sentencing of criminals as a deterrent ? take that to your paymasters.

    7
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Revolting Peasant
    Favourite Revolting Peasant
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:24 PM

    @Sean Murphy: I’ll be generous to you and re-phrase as ‘no criminality in this instance’ if your have trouble with what was meant.

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Sean Murphy
    Favourite Sean Murphy
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 2:54 PM

    @Revolting Peasant: my paymasters?? Makes as much sense as your other comment. I’ve checked with person involved in repairing the cctv and he said there were s software built in this stop it focus into people’s homes. It blocks it out. So you can take your tin foil hat off. Ps comparing Palmerstown to Cherry Orchard is rediculous. Close geographically but miles apart in relation to effected by crime.

    2
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Keith Evans
    Favourite Keith Evans
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 3:02 PM

    @Sean Murphy:
    This is the site where a digger driver was petrol bombed whilst on the digger a couple of months back…
    Maybe that is why it was installed??

    5
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Revolting Peasant
    Favourite Revolting Peasant
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 3:11 PM

    @Sean Murphy: Yes paymasters you obvious shill, after all you know the cctv contractors.
    Are the residents suppose to trust software? why do you think software has that name?
    So how about some proper policing?

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Jimmy Ireland
    Favourite Jimmy Ireland
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 8:53 PM

    Cameras are designed that when you pan around any windows into private residences are digitally mapped and completely and dynamically greyed out. Standard feature across all council/garda systems.

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Colette Kearns
    Favourite Colette Kearns
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:19 AM

    Not foolproof though, where’s there’s a will there’s a way!

    78
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Michael Dickson
    Favourite Michael Dickson
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:26 AM

    Did the shipment get through? If so why,if cops knew about it why wasn’t it seized?

    59
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Darragh Flynn
    Favourite Darragh Flynn
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 8:53 AM

    @Michael Dickson: they call it a cocaine seizure in the article so I’d imagine they caught it

    23
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Dylan McDonald
    Favourite Dylan McDonald
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:29 AM

    History has thought us that anything with the name unbreakable or something on the same lines is guaranteed to fail.

    Examples:
    Titanic – unsinkable
    PS4 – unhackable
    Unbreakable CCTV

    In order words don’t challenge people with these coined phases because your just gonna look like an idiot in the end.

    137
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute John O'Driscoll
    Favourite John O'Driscoll
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:37 AM

    The PS4 and the Titanic. Utter tragedies. Yeah.

    43
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Jonny Irish
    Favourite Jonny Irish
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:40 AM

    @Dylan McDonald: The Titanic was designed to withstand that which sunk it. The reason it sank was due to greed on the part of the engineers and the rest who built it as they cut corners and didn’t use the correct materials.

    10
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Ollie Conroy
    Favourite Ollie Conroy
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:29 AM

    They’ll find a way to bring the next one down ! It’s a shame they didn’t used their determination and problem solving skills for a legitimate business it would be more valuable ! Also They should watch brainiac’s thermite experiments for inspiration !!

    31
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute John O'Driscoll
    Favourite John O'Driscoll
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:41 AM

    You can’t get a bank loan to start a legitimate biz these days. Especially not if your education topped out at nine years of age and your accent appearance and address make you generally unemployable in the eyes of banks and businesses anyway.

    27
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Michael alder
    Favourite Michael alder
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 2:28 AM

    The next CCTV should be less visible so you can catch these criminals in the act

    36
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute John O'Driscoll
    Favourite John O'Driscoll
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:08 AM

    Put propellers on it and stick it up in the air higher than the dealers.

    20
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Dilly Phun
    Favourite Dilly Phun
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:34 AM

    @John O’Driscoll: Or slap aload of emoji and Google stickers on it

    6
    See 3 more replies ▾
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute John O'Driscoll
    Favourite John O'Driscoll
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:39 AM

    I was wondering why they didn’t just tool up with a load of paintball guns and just cover the lens in gloop. Tony Montana Irish style. “Hey camera meet my liddle friend!!” Splat. Not rocket science. Well a bit.

    18
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Gus Sheridan
    Favourite Gus Sheridan
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 11:59 AM

    @Michael alder: maybe attach a minigun to it ?

    3
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Gus Sheridan
    Favourite Gus Sheridan
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:01 PM

    @John O’Driscoll: you would have to a good shot, It would be beyond the average Dublin hitman’s ability.

    7
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Stewart O Neill
    Favourite Stewart O Neill
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 6:27 AM

    That pole was never an undestructable one. They need one of the poles they use on the motorways junctions .

    22
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Ken O Flynn
    Favourite Ken O Flynn
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 8:12 AM

    now you need a camera to watch the camera

    15
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Cindy Crawford
    Favourite Cindy Crawford
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 8:38 AM

    The gardai are clever basta*ds using for their own ends a cctv system installed by DCC.

    17
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Ben Coughlan
    Favourite Ben Coughlan
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 8:30 AM

    Good article, no schoolboy errors or spelling mistakes. Nice to see for a change.

    12
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Stephen Jenkins
    Favourite Stephen Jenkins
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 9:17 AM

    Release the drones.

    10
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Catherine Sims
    Favourite Catherine Sims
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:36 AM

    Well placed …..? do they have a job in the civil service or a bank with a good pension or something ? Or are the second on the last lap making good time for a final sprint to the victory line in a race somewhere ?

    10
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute iMoan Brutal
    Favourite iMoan Brutal
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 8:45 AM

    An unbreakable pole.. just asking for trouble eon that one.

    9
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Lord Clanricarde
    Favourite Lord Clanricarde
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 8:51 AM

    What didnt they set it in large concrete pad similar to those used for floodlights. The truck wouldnt lift that!

    8
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Lydia McLoughlin
    Favourite Lydia McLoughlin
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 9:28 AM

    Looks like they need unbreakable bollards to protect this unbreakable camera pole!!

    9
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Richie Tyndall
    Favourite Richie Tyndall
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 10:01 AM

    Why was so much money spent on this camera system to watch the construction of modular homes? Who owns the site? Who is building the homes?

    7
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute RogerRamjet
    Favourite RogerRamjet
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 8:31 AM

    Concrete blocks…

    6
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Gus Sheridan
    Favourite Gus Sheridan
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 12:02 PM

    @RogerRamjet: yes. Great big Lego type concrete blocks

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Eoin
    Favourite Eoin
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 7:56 AM

    She’s up the pole

    5
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Gerry McAuliffe
    Favourite Gerry McAuliffe
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 10:14 AM

    No alarm on pole linked to nearest Guard Station!

    4
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Sean
    Favourite Sean
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 8:54 PM

    I once volunteered to bring children from disadvantaged areas around UCD to encourage them to pursue an academic career. They were a great bunch and bright as buttons but I digress. The idea was that they’d get lectures from professors in different disciplines. The Engineering professor handed them an unbreakable fibreglass aircraft wing and asked them to try and break it. He had probably done the same in countless lectures before to more refined students. The children from the advantaged areas succeeded however by forming a pyramid and dropping one of the big boned boys from a height onto it. The prof in question was furious and complained bitterly about the broken wing as it had apparently cost quite a good deal of money but to my mind he only had himself to blame!

    3
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Stephen Finn
    Favourite Stephen Finn
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 4:11 PM

    Cherry orchard put the rents up and let the locals pay for the damage or put a big wall around this dump and let them pray on each other!

    3
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Blackwalker617
    Favourite Blackwalker617
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 10:06 AM

    There’s always a way. At the end of the day it’s the evening. Sddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddffdfddfffdfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffx

    2
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Awkward Seal
    Favourite Awkward Seal
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 9:08 AM

    Sounds like they need to install a camera to keep an eye on it…

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute whitecross
    Favourite whitecross
    Report
    May 16th 2017, 12:40 AM

    Would it not be better to use very small cameras inserted into walls and monitor a larger area . and why are the cameras not turned around at the banks .sure the biggest thieves are behind the counters ?

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Conor Sweetman
    Favourite Conor Sweetman
    Report
    May 15th 2017, 10:51 AM

    What brand of camera was it?…..

    1
Submit a report
Please help us understand how this comment violates our community guidelines.
Thank you for the feedback
Your feedback has been sent to our team for review.

Leave a commentcancel