Lovely thoughts and nicely written.

Thanks for your honesty. Both of my parents passed away in the past couple of years…one to cancer, the other suddenly with a heart attack. We must move on…and move on we do. But we will be OK if we take our time and grieve well. Congratulations on making it through the first year after your loss, and may your grief continue to ease with time.

I’d recommend leaving a journal behind and doing one or more video messages, if you know you’re dying or at risk of it. Its all in how they say their goodbyes to u and what tone that leaves.

This is how I did it. started the journal as if it was a biography, going back as far as I could remember.
I put all my political musings and policy ideas into a separate one that if I come out OK I can turn into a book or something
An aunts funeral not long before got me wondering what way I’d want that done. So I wrote a will, laying out s secular memorial no church,

It used to irritate me to see generic catch all prayers and vague Eulogy’s not specific to the person. So I picked a friend who is like the brother I never had to do the eulogy.
For the video message I got a haircut n metrosexual spit polish, a 9 hour sleep, picked a nice A&F sweater, jeans n shirt doing my best to look like I normally do n less of a pale tired burnout and made a video in the present tense talking to the memorial service. Made some joking refs to the family myths around death, said hi to the priest I knew sisters would bring to do a blessing despite the secular nature of the event, and said my goodbyes. Body language is relaxed and informal like I’m sitting in the room with them. I figured that way their last memory isn’t seeing me laying motionless (however peaceful) in the casket but sitting on a sofa in my nicer clothes smiling and alive, I think its a nicer memory to leave them with.

I could only hope to be so brave. You remind me of my mother.

I wish you, your kitty and your family all the very best x

I lost my aunt some years ago who was like a mother to me she died suddenly in st James hospital I was devastated, my whole world fell apart, then 5 years ago my dad died of lung cancer, he was my knight in shining armour, you never get over a loved one passing on you just learn to cope with it, and know they are happy and pain free..

Thank you for sharing. ..yes life does go on and in time pain, loss, gets a bit easier to deal with and im sure your husband is loving every second of your new found happiness in life …

Beautiful piece

The new fella could do with getting those teeth sorted out.

Beautiful writing so lovely and gentle choice of language.

To parents who lost a child, that is to say the toughest grief my advice is take a moment at a time when your alone and deal with their memory and loss. Then fufil your day with plenty of tender loving care.

To children who lose a parent , you don’t have the words to express how you feel. But if your sad and not in form to do much tell people I am sad. Mammy or Daddy is gone away. To the adult let the child express the emotions and if it has been a traumatic event that caused the death talk to Barnardo’s they give excellent advice.

To the surviving sister, brother, son or daughter. You must grieve because grieving is a process of letting go and honouring the person who is gone with tears of admiration. Take your time set your own pace and don’t rush it.

To all people grieving this article is excellent but allow yourself to live again when your raw emotions heal it normally can take uo to two years. For cancer deaths there is the awe stage of grieving and it can be confusing because you might have delayed onset of grief this is quite normal.

Best treatment is to talk about the person gone. Some day you will think of them and not cry but move on to a better acceptance their gone.

nice but “jameson” as a baby boys name?

Lost both parents to brain tumours; my dad in 1998 and my mum in 2010. After my own dad’s death, whatever my own mum did afterwards, I respected and supported everything she did that kept her happy. After her own death four years ago, it started a long journey to move forward. There was no denying that I changed in certain ways and it wasn’t easy. There were things that I didn’t have the same enjoyment for as I previously did and there was a reluctance to do some things as it just would have brought back memories. I also developed new routines that would keep me positive. In the last year, I started to once again enjoy some things I used to do, but doing it in a different way. I may never have forgotten but in my own ways, I’ve moved on. It’s a journey that requires a lot of patience and understanding and every day is a new day, every step taken is a goal and every bridge crossed is an extension of a journey. The only person who knows when they are ready is oneself.