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EACH WEEK IN our series, Am I Being A Bad Parent?, we hear from a reader who can’t figure out what to do about a tricky parenting situation.
To get a balanced view, we put the dilemma to a group of Irish parents, keeping things anonymous to encourage honest answers.
Sending your child to primary school is a big milestone for you and for your little one, but what if they’re not ready for that first big leap to independent life just yet?
This week, one parent is seeing signs that her four-year-old son may not be mature enough for ‘big school’ in September – but she adds that waiting a year is going to be a logistical nightmare with her family’s childcare arrangements. What’s the right thing to do?
Have a parenting question you’d like some other mums and dads to weigh in on? Let us know anonymously here!
My son turns five in November and the plan always was to send him to big school in September. We’ve already enrolled him in the school his brother goes to, but I just don’t think he’s at the same level of maturity his brother was at that age. As it is, he gets so upset going to pre-school each morning and he still hasn’t gotten used to me leaving him for the day.
Deferring the place is going to be a big hassle for us, childcare-wise. At the same time, I’m worried that not deferring will be a big mistake for his emotional and social development. Am I being unreasonable by sending my child to big school when he’s not ready?
Yes, you are being unreasonable. He will struggle all the way through school if he is too young starting. It’s unreasonable to send him when he’s not ready just because of childcare hassles.
You’re being unreasonable. You’re fairly certain he’s not ready for it – and your instincts are powerful, so trust them. Rather than think about how it might negatively affect his emotional and social development not to send him, you need to consider how it might positively influence him to have more time to build up those social skills in pre-school. Yes, it’s a hassle for childcare, but it is one year in the rest of his and your life and it’s a super-important one. Do the right thing for him.
Also, the hassle factor won’t be eliminated just because you’re sending him to school – imagine how much more difficult it will be to get the poor guy out the door in the morning to ‘big school’ if he already baulks at pre-school.
Yes, it would be unreasonable to send him to school before he is ready. I would say that it sounds like you already know the answer here really and are maybe just looking for someone to tell you. Listen to the cues your relationship with your child is giving you. Childcare is always a hassle, but that’s (at least partially) because it’s important and the stakes are high. Do the right thing and give him another year of getting used to pre-school first.
So what’s the final tally? Is this reader being unreasonable?
Yes – 3
No – 0
Tell us your thoughts in the comments!
Have a parenting question you want answered? Let us know anonymously in our survey here or email us on family@thejournal.ie and we’ll put it to the real-life experts: your fellow mums and dads.
Plus, want to win a getaway to Kilkenny’s luxurious Lyrath Estate? Enter right here – and don’t forget to subscribe to our Family Newsletter in the box below!
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The things people get compo for and then there’s this! Just give them the money and let them have a bit of comfort fgs
@Patricia Ellis Dunne: Yes, these women do deserve compensation. Last week a survivor of clerical abuse was hospitalized after going on hunger strike in protest at the trauma inflicted on survivors by Caranua, the state redress authority. When are FF-FG going to start to treat these people as decently as they claim to treat them when they’re giving speeches in the Dail?
Wouldn’t be like the State to do something like that at all now would it!? Sometimes I really really dislike this country.
How thoroughly Christian of them.
And the church’s marketing team has just pulled off ‘Red Wednesday’ where cathedrals around the world are lit up in red in aid of “justice and victims of suffering”. Practice what ye preach ye hollow, defunct crowd of hypocrites.
Rants McCrank:The decisions to deny redress was done by the organs of our State in our name ,we are all responsible.
@Brian O Reilly: no we are not all responsible. I did not abuse or ill treat anyone and I don’t see why me and my children, through borrowed money for compensation, should have to pay. Your decision and opinion to centralize the liability for all wrongdoing to all citizens is a dream for the legal profession.
@Ranty McCrank: Its a pity the fathers can’t be found and the pensions/estates used to fund this. Remember when lovely auld Johnny dies and leaves the house to Mary & Paddy but unknown to them Jimmy is being denied a share.
@lavbeer: Presumably he would have a will leaving it to who he wants.
So 27 people would get on average a € 82,000 payout,which = 2.214 m
Around 2 million Irish people are paying taxes
That means it will cost me about €1
I’m livid at that loss..How will I cope!!
@Francis Mc Carthy: That’s for this incident alone and 27 people. They are all adding up and increasing in payment amount. If the 1 in 4 stat for abuse is true then 1.25 million people could claim for “redress”. That is €102 billion. Indeed how will we cope. We truly are a failed state with no true leadership. All divided and fighting for scraps.
So who will be Who’s redressing them? Dumped in the taxpayer again? Decisions like this to garner votes from lobby groups may please those members but the working people remember the politicians that are making innocent workers financially liable for the grave misconduct of others.
Why can’t the state sue the Vatican. To get the compensation money back? The way it is. it’s the taxpayer paying the compo!
The DJE is an appallingly bad and oppressive Government Department. It is a law unto itself.
Kudos to the Ombudsman for standing up to Fine Gael on this one.
Stop the prevarication and cough up the dough.
That’s what happens when you combine corruption, nepotism, cronyism, ineptitude and a blatant lack of any kind of morals or dignity!
Shameless crooks running the Banana Republic of Ireland but people care more about the soccer team getting hammered by the Danes!
Its kind of hilarious these days the way women come out with these #metoo stories about how a man grab their arse or tits and the whole world cries for them while the mans career is ruined. meanwhile people have been screaming from the roof tops for decades about the abuse the catholic church carried out in this country and there’s hardly a word about it and 0 justice
@Alfred Pennyworth:
Just do not forget that many a woman’s life was ruined because the fathers of their children abandoned them and that is why they ended up in these awful Laundries. It is the State that is now denying these women the compensation that they deserve to get without delay so they can at least feel that their suffering will be recognized. But no the State could not wait to give the Banks who ruined the country Shedloads of money but they make the women beg for the crumbs .
Flannagan reminds me of Noonan when he dragged dying people into court in the attempt to save the state money and cover up a deadly mess in the blood transfusion scandal.
have your say