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WHEN IT COMES to being pregnant, or parenting a newborn, everyone’s just figuring things out as they go. That’s why it can be so helpful to hear how other people are getting through the mess of it all, from the first nappy change to the countless sleepless nights.
Our Newborn and Baby Parents Panel is made up of parents and parents-to-be, all raising little ones aged up to 24 months.
This week, we asked our new parents to share a lesson they learned in the last year about motherhood or parenting. From lowering expectations and getting a bit silly with their kids, these new parents have shared gems other parents will certainly relate to.
Here are some of the best answers...
Splitting time between two kids is not easy: Having two kids is a lot more challenging than I initially thought it would be. Our oldest son is 5, so we had gotten slightly used to sleep again, and when the new addition arrived in March that went out the window! But the biggest challenge is how to split my time. I want to be able to spend time with our oldest son (who was used to undivided attention) while still giving attention to the baby. And then I need time for general house stuff, preparing meals and lunches, as well as laundry, etc. It's a constant balance that I feel I'm losing all the time.
- Olly Keegan
Housework can go to the end of the to-do list: For me it was learning how to lower my expectations. Especially now that we have two children, I really had to learn to live with things like housework not getting done or the dog not getting walked (he's delighted about this, his favourite place is the couch)! It took a while, but I've come to accept that nobody is on top of it all - and if they are then good luck to them!
I've also learned to stop comparing my children to other kids their age, it doesn't matter if they're reaching milestones at different time, they will all get there in their own time.
- Amy Molyneaux
The answer doesn't always have to be 'no': The single biggest thing I’d say I have learned is to lower my expectations and just let it go, it’s easier this way. The more I find I say yes to the messy play, yes to an adventurous climb, yes to helping mummy cook, yes to whatever it is my little guy wants to do (so long as it’s not harmful, within reason and we have the time) the easier things get and he actually teaches me what it’s like to be a child again.
My son is always going to act his age, and it’s up to me to set my expectations age appropriately, otherwise I find it is stressful for the both of us. I am by no means a pushover, there are firm boundaries in place, but I don't want him hearing ‘no’ to everything either. The house will be perfectly neat and tidy one day, but that day is not today (unless it’s a crèche day!)
- Jess Mushanski
I have more patience than I thought: I have learnt to have patience since my little man arrived. This has been a really important learning experience for me that has helped in all aspects of my life. From getting no sleep, to working long hours, to trying to keep the house clean. I have definitely surprised myself, as when it comes to my son I seem to have a lot of patience.
- Paula Lynch
Sleepy baby cuddles are magical: The simplest things are the most magical-like those smiles first thing in the morning and those sleepy cuddles on the couch!
Being a parent is the hardest but most amazing job you could have but all those night feeds, explosive nappies, annoying questions from people are all forgotten when you are sitting on the couch cuddling your smiling happy little boy!
- Laura Ryan
When you have a baby, your time stops being your own: The biggest thing I have learned is that my time is no longer my own, and that’s okay. It took awhile to get used to that when baba arrived, but we’re firmly in the zone now.
I laughed at my friends when they warned me about this life-changing fact before I had kids. But know I know what they were trying to say!
- Niamh Roche
Skip the Baby Bootcamp for once and the world won't explode: I realised that the most important thing is spending time with family. On my first baby, I was convinced that I had to bring him to all these classes! Baby Bootcamp, Sensory Time For Baby... All I could see around me were advertisements for all of these essential classes.
On my second baby all I am doing is hanging out with people close to me and enjoying it so much. And she's so happy just to be surrounded by people that love her. I don't do any classes or groups this time round and I don't feel we are missing out on anything. I'm even way more chilled out!
- Valerie Murray
Seeing own anxiety reflected in my kids made me loosen up: This year I have learned to enjoy parenthood a bit more, to be a bit sillier with the kids and to go with the flow. Very importantly, I have also learned not to be too hard on myself when I am not enjoying it. Everything is just a phase, everything passes or else you learn to cope with it and you wonder why it ever stressed you out.
You learn an awful lot more about yourself when you become a parent and when you start to see your more negative traits reflected in your children. When I saw how anxious my daughter was getting, it was definitely time for me to cop on and loosen up.
- Aisling Drake
I never thought I'd love parenthood this much: I've learned that motherhood changed me as a person and I am definitely a different mother than I thought I would have been.
I never thought it would be as natural as it is and that I would love it as much as I do. It also taught me not to judge other mothers, because every family is different and it's the hardest job ever.
- Marta Lisiecka
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No confidence in Harris but this is nothing but a positive step.
Awaiting anti vax loonatics…..
@Barry Somers: *Lunatics* ..;)
And speaking of which.
The bould Simple Simon doesn’t exactly inspire confidence.
@tommytukamomo: that’s what science is for. It’s not just him saying it’s good it’s science.
@Barry Somers: We should stop calling them anti-vaxxers and call them what they actually are: pro-disease
If you won’t vaccinate your virginal daughters, perhaps you will vaccinate your young studs! Hopefully the stereotypes will work better for parents of boys. I believe there’s more denial about daughters becoming sexually active.
We should have a referendum that the government isn’t allowed to vaccinate our children without the expressed consent of Gemma O’Doherty
@thephantomshit: THEYRE INJECTING CHEMTRAILS INTO OUR CHILDREN!!!¡
@Tweety McTweeter: I’m hearing that in a loud shouty high pitched Gemma O Doherty voice. Please stop it’s too early.
The Irrefutable Argument Against Vaccine Safety – with Author Del Bigtree.. Must watch on youtube everynoe should watch
@Noel McGuinness: in 2017 there were 110000 deaths from measles globally. In the year before the vaccine for measles there were 99 deaths in the UK from measles. Afterwards there were none. In a measles outbreak 3 out of 10 will have complications 1 in 1000 will have brain injury or die. Autism is a spectrum that is often only detected when a child begins to miss milestones. I find parents that do not have other children often miss the autistic symptoms as they have nothing to compare it to but when you really investigate the symptoms are there from birth such as hypersensitivity etc.
@LittleBee: You’re aware Little Bee that most of those deaths are in Third World Countries ravaged with a lack of clean drinking water, little to no nutritional foods and where disease is rife.Yet we attempt to assimilate deaths in these countries as a possibility to what might happen here. You’re literally comparing apples with oranges. It is also never stated in these figures the amounts of deaths that are related to the vaccine strain of measles or the wild strain. So to claim there is 110,000 deaths worldwide from measles is only half the story.
You can also add to that, was it the measles that they actually died from or was it that they died and had measles at the time. What is being found out now is that when it is claimed that the amount of people dying annually from flu for example is now deemed to be anyone passing away with any sort of respiratory condition whatsoever. But this is par for the pharmaceutical world that likes to manipulate data and present it as such in a way that assists in the fear mongering to increase sales of vaccine uptake. !!!
@LittleBee: Ps in regards to the Hpv vaccine, the data manipulation that went on in the testing of that vaccine is off the charts. They laced the “so called placebo” with the adjuvant, knowing the adjuvant causes the issues so as to make the vaccine look safe.
Add to that they also only added half the adjuvant amount to test group age that this vaccine is targeted at. And that the male issues surrounding this vaccine are known as “rare diseases” so the likes of anal and penal cancers etc and have a tendency to mainly occur in homosexual males but this is left out because that ain’t good for sales figures.
But listen best of luck to anyone that decides to inject their child with this absolute Russian roulette of a vaccine that has the dodgiest of history in regards to it’s testing.
@Colie Mac: you do not get measles from the vaccine. Yes most of these deaths are in poorer countries where they don’t have the vaccine that’s why they have higher deaths like we did before you know we got the vaccine. So let’s bring it closer to home. When I lived in the UK between 2009 and 2013 there was a measles outbreak in the south east England and Wales. The number or reported cases reached 1000 in Wales and one person died and one person had brain damage and was in a coma (I’m not sure if he recovered) You accuse me of comparing Apple’s and Oranges and yet you liken the flu to measles. Measles specifically attacks the brain like meningitis. Flu deaths are often through secondary complications and not the virus itself. Measles kills and causes brain damage there is no disputing that
@Colie Mac: The concerns regarding the hpv are in relation to ME symptoms in teens. These conditions have always occurred in teens and these figures have not increased since the introduction of the hpv. While anal and penal cancers may be rare cervical cancer is not and the hpv virus even less so as 80% of us carry it. This is virus is easily transferred and not just through sex. The ingredients in this vaccine like all others are in such small amounts are easily absorbed by the body. Salt is also harmful when taken in high doses but a little on your chips is fine.
@LittleBee: I never compared measles to flu I advised how they manipulate the data regarding flu deaths so don’t think they don’t do the same regarding measles. In regards to not getting measles from the vaccine it clearly states it in the insert that taking the vaccine can cause “measles like symptoms” yeah…the measles. It has also been proven the vaccinated actually shed the disease for up the a month after injection. Hence why recently vaccinated are required to stay away from ICU and why I got a letter out from my school to advise if recently vaccinated due to us having an immuno-compromised child in the school. But that doesn’t get mainstream media….it’s the unvaccinated that cause the issue right. Measles is terrible….in rare circumstances.
In most cases it is nothing other than a rash for a week. Also completely treatable with Vitamin A which we never hear about either because that is cheap and effective. The last time a healthy child died of measles in this neck of the woods is decades ago. Yet all we have heard for the last two years now is measles propaganda. Now measles season is over we’re onto hpv. Cervical cancer is not rare, you are right, but it’s not rampant either. How many cancer deaths a year and how many relate to cervical cancer and then look at the media coverage.
Cervical cancer is completely treatable through a proper screening process. It effects a very small percentage of the population yet there is a need to inject the full population of children with a very unreliable and dodgy vaccine rather than increase and improve a screening process. Absolutely horrific the amount of lives that are going to be effected by this (as well as those who suffer through getting cervical cancer) and yet all that is required is people to be screened and treated properly.
@Colie Mac: why do you think there have been no deaths from measles? Just a coincidence that the death rate dropped once vaccination began?
@Colie Mac: Sigh ! The reason is been a long time since a measles death in Ireland is because of vaccinations and herd immunity you do understand that right. 3 in 10 who get measles will get complications that’s not rare. You are injected with a small amount of live virus which triggers your immune system to build the antibodies. The other ingrediemts act as stabilisers etc.
You do not have measles the rash that you see is your bodies defesnse mecanisim working. You may get a runny nose , a runny nose means you are susceptible to spreading more germs …all germs … hense why you are asked to stay away from immumo compromised people. I’m really not sure you understand science or statistics best get some gaffer tape to keep that tinfoil hat firmly on your head.
@Colie Mac: My friends son has ME. she blames the booster he had 3 no the before. He didn’t have the HPV and didn’t get ME after his first dose of the vaccine he received of the booster. He also had a virus and was very sick immediately before he started suffering the ME symptoms. In fact he never recovered from the virus. A little how someone can be sick for years after having glandular fever or meningitis. This boy is also a long term suffer of extreme anxiety . As a parent of a child with anxiety I know first hand this can manifest in physical conditions and effect their immune system. Yet they choose to blame the booster he had 3 months before and should absolutely no side effects to rather them all the other compelling evidence that lead to other causes.
@Dave O’Keeffe: I bet he swears by his Himalayan Salt Lamp too
look up livewire to be educated about vaccines
@Noel McGuinness: or you could talk to your doctor? Read peer reviewed articles/research. Or otherwise engage with actual, you know, science.
look up livewire and get educated on vax
@Noel McGuinness: our of curiosity do you believe there’s a link between vaccines and autism?
@GrahamMManning: out
one sided arguments
@Noel McGuinness: science is never one sided that’s what makes it science and not opinion.
The Irrefutable Argument Against Vaccine Safety – with Author Del Bigtreeh
@Noel McGuinness: anybody that calls their own argument irrefutable is not to be trusted. Especially when it comes to science. Also, his thing is based on the work of a thoroughly debunked doctor.
Some shop somewhere just sold out of tin foil
FFS The Journal, why do you have to keep showing photo’s of needles? That’s the 4th one I’ve seen this morning. Lucky I’m sitting down!
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