Sign in. It’s quick, free and it’s up to you.
An account is an optional way to support the work we do. Find out more.
EACH WEEK, WE hear from a reader who can’t figure out what to do about a tricky parenting situation. To get a balanced take on the dilemma, we ask Irish parenting experts to weigh in.
From choosing whether to push toilet training to allowing a baby to ‘cry it out’, being a parent involves decision after decision – and a whole lot of questioning yourself.
This week, one parent is struggling to decide whether to follow their head or their heart when it comes to getting a family pet.
Have a parenting dilemma you’re struggling with? Let us know anonymously here and we’ll share it with our panel of experts.
My two children are desperate for us to get a family pet. They’re four and six years-old and, despite me regularly saying ‘no’, they keep asking if we can get a dog. They’ve both (especially the four-year-old) hung onto the idea for nearly a year now. To be honest, we could make a pet work with our schedules but I’m not sure we need something else on our plate.
Lately we stayed with some friends who have a dog and the kids were so delighted. After seeing them so happy, I’ve been worrying that I’m keeping them from something they really want. Plus it’s a chance for them to have some responsibility. Am I being unreasonable by telling the kids we can’t have a pet?
You are absolutely not being unreasonable. Taking on a dog is something I personally feel very strongly about. There are so many reasons this should not be a child-led decision. For example, consider the money, time, commitment and responsibility that comes with having a dog. I say this as someone who absolutely loves dogs – sometimes I adore mine more than people! Because of that I feel people should be fully aware that this decision should not be made lightly whatsoever. What about a lower-maintenance pet like a goldfish?
- Deirdre Holland Hannon, Behaviour Specialist at @deehollhan.
Ruling it out is unreasonable. From personal experience, I completely understand where you are coming from. We went to visit our local DSPCA as a way to understand the importance of caring for an animal and the implications of when it doesn’t go to plan. Our heads have ruled our hearts – for now! It doesn’t mean we have ruled it out altogether, but certainly there’s nothing to say we won’t consider it down the line when the kids are a bit older.
By what you have explained in your question, I think you’ve already decided what is best and what you want for your family. Having a pet is such a big commitment that goes far beyond what the children want. I’m sure you’ve gone through what it will take, however it’s obviously completely up to what is practical and feels right for you. Best of luck in whatever you decide!
- Aoife Lee, Parent Coach at ParentSupport.ie.
Shutting the idea down is a bit unreasonable. A pet makes a great addition to any family. However, choosing what kind of pet and when to introduce a pet to your family does require some thought. Puppies take a lot of time, effort and money and may not be ideal given the age of your children. It may be better to get an older dog, or to foster a dog, bearing in mind you or you partner will be doing most of the minding of the dog in addition to parenting your children!
In general, it’s only really at eight or nine-years-old that children can realistically contribute to taking care of their dog, so if you don’t want to take on most of the work, you may want to think about another pet, for example a gerbil, a hamster, a bunny or a goldfish. If you are still keen getting on a dog, Dogs Trust have useful information on introducing a dog to a young family.
- Krysia Lynch, Maternity Care Expert at Krysia.ie.
So what’s the final tally? Is this reader being unreasonable?
Yes – 2
No – 1
Have a parenting question you want answered? Let us know anonymously in our survey here or email us on family@thejournal.ie and we’ll put it to the experts.
To embed this post, copy the code below on your site
Its very simple to see tell the difference….the southern Mr Tayto had an amusement park for all to enjoy….the Mr Tayto up north just says no to everything
@Dave Ryan: Also,Southern Mr.Tayto says “Top of the mornin!” whilst Northern Mr.Tayto says “What about ya!”
White bread, slice of cheese, bag of Tayto perfect
@Ronan Lawler: kerry gold butter
@joe celtic 1888: Barrys tea and Avonmore milk to wash it down.
@Ronan Lawler: No cheese! Fresh white bread, proper butter and Tayto Cheese & Onion!
@Ronan Lawler: Fresh white bread, mayonnaise and Tayto Chesse & Onion, lovely!!
No comparison. The real tayto is in the Republic. No comparison with the foreign brand. Of course when there is a United Ireland a new protocol will have to be signed. Let’s see what the dup will do. Boycott I think would be the best option.
@John Flanagan: only one of them is Irish
Could they not just put a bowler hat and sash on the northern Mr Tayto so we can tell them apart.
@Fr. Fintan Stack: Maybe only serve Coca Cola with Southern Tayto and Fanta Orange with Northen Iron Tayto
There is no such place as The Republic of Ireland
@Larry Ryan: …..sorry about this…but…..”Geopolitically, Ireland is divided between the Republic of Ireland (officially named Ireland), an independent state covering five-sixths of the island, and Northern Ireland, which is part of the United Kingdom”
There has to be a way to work in both ‘King’ crisps, and Red Hugh O’Donnell’s crisps into this conversation #taytogato
@Phil O’ Meara: That would be fantastic if it could happen,Phil. Hopefully it’ll all be Hunky Dory in the end
@Larry Betts: wouldn’t that be the real McCoys?
Well played Tom.
“The Irish brand is currently owned by German food company Intersnack”… lol, not suprised.
Technically Tom is right..
Nordi Tayto has a ‘gone off’ taste yuck
have your say