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BY THE TIME your little one reaches toddler and preschool age, they’re well able to tell you what they want. And that’s where the trouble starts, from dealing with tantrums to navigating playdates. That’s why it can be so helpful to hear how other parents are getting through it all.
Our Toddler and Preschool Parents Panel is made up of parents with little ones from 24 months up to age five.
This week: What one parenting app or resource would you recommend to other new parents?
I used the What To Expect app when I was pregnant with both of my boys: You join a “home board” where everyone is due in the same month, that way you are all going through it at the same time. The home boards tend to stay quite active until the babies turn one. Some of the threads can be quite helpful but with over 100,000 members on each home board, it’s good to take it all with a pinch of salt.
- Kaisu Healy
Gina Ford’s The Complete Sleep Guide helped me in the early days of parenting: When my twins were a few months old l, I resorted to this book to get them into a routine. I didn’t stick to it rigidly (or I never would have left the house) but I did find it great and having them in a good routine really paid off.
- Joanne Burke
No Sex, No Sleep: So You’re Going To Be A Father gave me a much-needed laugh: You might as well have some humour! To be honest though, we have lots of books but I learned more from practical experience along the way.
- Ger Lowry
Those booklets from the public health nurse are actually pretty helpful: I found the free HSE guides given out by our public health nurse really helpful, they are full of practical advice and answers to everyday questions.
- Nicola Barry
I loved What To Expect When You’re Expecting: I found this book [by Heidi Eisenberg Murkoff] really useful while pregnant. To be honest though, nothing satisfied me as much as It’s Not Your Fault, Toddlers Are Assholes by Bunmi Laditan which I read a bit later on. This was laugh out loud hilarious (so much so my toddler would ask me what book I was laughing at and still talks about that “funny book about toddlers”).
- Emily Lewis
My mum gave me her copy of Penelope Leach’s Your Baby And Child: She used the same copy when I was a baby, and I have found it invaluable. It’s a classic and it’s my bible. Leach’s book is written in a very empathetic voice, it’s an encyclopedia of everything you need to know from birth to five, and it’s nicely balanced in a way that makes you feel supported as a parent while equipping you to raise a happy and healthy child at the same time. I have the original version but I believe it’s been updated in recent years too, I would highly recommend it to parents of newborns upwards.
- Juliet Ward
If you only use one resource, make it WhatsApp: Parenting resources mainly come in the form of WhatsApp groups for me! Support more than instructions are welcomed in this house.
- Michelle O’Brien
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Too much paperwork. This only adds to the burnout that many child protection workers face. The job of a social worker has become too administrative and less front line
@Alison Maguire: Do you think its the front line(visiting dysfunctional homes were there’s child abuse) or the admin element that causes turnover in staff ……
@Murr Paul: the frontline also deal with a lot of admin
I believe there is room for all, please note that some of the private agencies are social enterprises that re-investing the children in their care.
As a country though we need to really start investing in support of vulnerable families from pregnancy, good preschools good family support. Our legislation also needs a complete overhaul with a much stronger emphasis on what’s in a child’s best interest not the parents. A child in foster care can at any time be returned to the birth parents, how can a child fully commit to a new family if they are aware of this.
@Anne Kearney: A child in foster care can at any time be returned to the birth parents, how can a child fully commit to a new family if they are aware of this.
A child will always want to return to their parents as when turned 18 kick out by foster families regardless.
@Murr Paul: a significant number of foster carers would and do keep the child in their care after the age of 18. I feel some of the issue is the after care work that goes on from 15 or 16 preparing for independence can instill a fear in the child so there is increased acting out that causes the placement to break down. I reject you before you reject me. A lot of children during access are told that they can go home also the foster carers in their own eyes is only temporary. We need to be able to make a home more permanent for some children and carers.
Why do they try and privatise everything???
Never has a good outcome
In no way am I comparing a Child to a dog here but look what’s happened with privatization re Ashton Dog Pound. Neglect, Abuse, and power pulling where everyone in Dublin is in fear of calling for the dog warden.
@Margaret Doyle: You don’t want to compare the two, and yet you do.
€325 not much to cover all the costs involved with children who have been neglected. The government trying to do all the really important stuff on the Cheap again.
@Alan Kelly: what costs do they have more then any other child? They also receive child benefit, social welfare CDA increases etc. I know cases were they claimed the foster children were disabled to get carers allowance, care grant and domicile care allowance all untaxed. A right little money earner.
@Murr Paul: you cannot just CLAIM someone is disabled!!
Do you know the trauma these kids have been through? Do you know the time that goes into making sure all the needs of these kids at met?
@Murr Paul: would you work 24/7 for 1.93 euro an hour and take the child’s expenses out of that too.
@Murr Paul: What is wrong with you? The state is neglecting and allowing lifelong damage to occur to children. They are pouring money into private companies and you point to a baseless, imaginary problem of welfare fraud. Do you think that so you can feel better or are you just bitter or thick or both?
@Alan Kelly: Making foster caring financially too appetizing is far too dangerous. It attracts the worst of people, to the detriment of these especially vulnerable children. Of course low income families with the right intentions shouldn’t be excluded from fostering simply because they can’t afford it. But that’s why the system allows for specific expenses for the particular foster child in question (with receipts and review process with regards to expenses etc). But just a nice lump sum lodged into your account with no questions asked every month will end up attracting too much interest for all the wrong reasons.
The cost factor here must be quantified, the cost given of €1,000 in a private placement includes other support. It includes the cost of social work support available 24 hours a day 7 days a week not currently provided by Tusla. The private fostering agencies also provide support services such as educational supports child care workers etc.
The private agencies also may be asked to locate careers for children with a complex level of care needs.
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