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'Lockdown, disability and me' One man shares his thoughts on the Covid-19 shutdown

James Rickard has Cerebral Palsy. He says this shutdown has reminded him of the importance of connection.

HELLO FROM DUBLIN’S Docklands where the streets are eerily quiet, and all the normal activities and the regular hustle and bustle have stopped.

Reflecting on the weeks that have gone by as I work alone in my office, in the front room (the parlour, as it was called when we were kids), the cranes are still motionless in the clear sky and the roads are empty.

This was a special room where the family greeted relatives and friends but was normally not used for our day-to-day activities.

This room holds particular memories for me because it was where, as a child I used to watch children on the street play, knowing that I could not join in, because of my inability to walk, run and be part of the normal rough and tumble of childhood.

In recent days, I finally stepped out of the house and moved my daily view beyond the four cranes from my front window.

This was not without fear. The fear was not of the virus, but I allowed my thoughts to focus on the possibility of falling or, for some other reason, not been able to get back home again.

Growing up, as a person with a disability, I always attempted to keep up with my peers, be one of the lads. Being involved in political, social and community activities was second nature to me.

At one time, I was more likely to be found in O’Neill’s of Suffolk Street, or Mulligan’s of Poolbeg Street rather than at home, and even if that was some time in the past, the need for interaction is still strong.

Since this coronavirus outbreak, I find my previous notions of independence, or should I say inter-dependence, being called into question. I reflect back to a time when I would have taken exception to the offer of help to board a bus, or to carry my shopping, now with the current restrictions, support is a wonderful gift. 

At times like this, where we are all asked to isolate, it is commonplace for all of us to feel a level of stress and concern. Such worries for me include:

  • Fear of self or a loved one becoming ill

I realise if I become ill, self-isolation would be near impossible. Even the process of washing my hands is made more difficult by the stiffness of my fingers and the rigidity of my hands. 

Other day-to-day functions would be extremely difficult. I need to keep well so I can get the assistance at home which I need, and the support of my colleagues and friends to get through this.  

I find myself feeling more anxious as more consideration is given to re-opening the economy. Will we all be asked to wear a mask (which I think is a good idea)? If we are, I myself would have great difficulty managing to get it on and off.

  • Fear of separation from loved ones due to social distance

As a single person, I live on my own, so apart from normally meeting people for lunch, coffee or going to concerts at the National Concert Hall, which forms a big part of my life, I rely on my phone and social media to keep in touch. This is the same for most of us. In this respect, my friends have been great. I don’t feel isolated, and I feel connected.

Over my adult years, I have always relied on a strong network of friends to enable me to pursue my interest and dreams. I was aware from my early years that things would be different for me, I know that the ‘normal’ progress from school to work would not follow the usual pathway.

The idea of stepping into work after school was a fantasy, and I in some way had to prove (to others and myself) that I could compensate cognitively for what I could not do physically. My dream came true when I went to college.

Of course, there was the doubt in my own ability to be successful in college, classic examples of ‘impostor syndrome’ (a psychological pattern in which one doubts one’s accomplishments and has a persistent internalised fear of being exposed as a “fraud”) but I realised this feeling exists in many students with or without disabilities.

In my undergraduate years, I had to depend on a network of friends to take notes at lectures for me and be a support to get coffee or lunch. 

During those years, I learned the importance in building strong interpersonal relationships to share positive as well as negative experiences, so we can understand the events which impact on us, and we can cope together, and continually nurture our support networks which are critical for all of us to develop ourselves.

  • Fear of losing employment and financial implications

I am working from home and hoping that my contribution to the teams at Rehab, and to our work community to assist our common aim, is of worth. I am aware I am in a privileged position, and how this coronavirus must have upended a lot of people’s lives.

I hope when this ends, and it will, we will all help to create a more engaged and inclusive work culture. 

An anxious mind can outrun, outpower and outwit rationality and logic any day of the week. What we must try to do is harness the strength and power of that fiercely protective mind and use it to work for us instead of against us. Trust yourself. You are strong. You are resourceful. You will cope. You always have.

We will get through this, and we should be optimistic. I know that I have not been through such uncertain times before, but personally I have experienced darker times, and I have got through them.

  • Feeling powerless in a pandemic

I remember from my studies in psychology, the concept of the ‘locus of control’. Locus of control is the degree to which people believe that they, as opposed to external forces, have control over the outcome of events in their lives.

The concept was developed by Julian B. Rotter in 1954 and has since become an aspect of personality studies. A person’s “locus” is conceptualised as internal or external. Individuals with a strong internal locus of control believe events in their lives derive primarily from their own actions.

In the current environment, most of us feel that we have little or no control over the present situation. My own strategy is to be aware of what is still within my control, such as how I structure my day, setting out what I can do or have to do in a particular day, and realising my own limitations.

I think it is important to keep it in the day, and not be thinking too far into the future. Look forward in hope, but concentrate on today. 

  • Feelings of anxiety, boredom, restlessness and loneliness

I am fortunate I have a passion for classical music and literature and they are my go-to activities when I begin feeling any or all of the above. Be kind to yourself, indulge a little. I feel this is not the time for hypothetical thinking. This is, what it is, live in the current realities, and try not to be overwhelmed.

Having so much free time is fertile ground for negative thoughts to break loose. The fear of the disease and its consequences can become a double-edged sword that makes us assume a hyper-vigilant attitude, which will make us exaggerate the symptoms and imagine the worst possible scenario; don’t allow space in your head for these thoughts.

Remember Seneca’s wisdom:

There are more things that can scare us than crush us; we suffer more often in the imagination than in reality.

I know all this will be much harder for some people, especially parents, who have reported being bombarded with wonderful free resources and tools from schools but also feeling overwhelmed and guilt-ridden for failing to keep up with home-schooling activities. 

In addition, others have been thrust into a primary caregiving role for sick or older family members which has a particular level of demand as external resources may not be available or indeed may be restricted by concerned families due to risk of exposure. 

The dual demands of responding fully to a public health crisis and the need to keep working mean that it is imperative for us all to follow the guidance of health professionals and do everything in our power to protect the health and wellbeing of all individuals. 

I hope these few thoughts make sense and some of you can relate to them, and by having such conversations may help us to feel more connected and less isolated. Take care of yourselves and others and we will get through this together.

James Rickard has Cerebral Palsy and is the Diversity and Inclusion Manager at Rehab Group.

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    Mute Joseph Caulfield
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    Sep 27th 2018, 8:01 AM

    At this stage I think an FBI investigation would be appropriate. To look into the orchestrated fraud of these claims. I’m guessing David Axelrod has been very busy the last few months.

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    Mute Herbert
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    Sep 27th 2018, 9:27 AM

    @Ossi Fritsche: Please tell me how you managed to bring race into this? Is that all you’ve got?

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    Mute Otranto
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    Sep 27th 2018, 9:49 AM

    @Larissa Nikolaus:
    Calm down Larry, let’s wait for some evidence before you go on you usual anti Trump rant.

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    Mute Otranto
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    Sep 27th 2018, 9:49 AM

    @Ossi Fritsche:
    Oh no, Godwin law.

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    Mute John Mullin
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    Sep 27th 2018, 9:58 AM

    @Ossi Fritsche: Don’t you think it ironic that you think it’s ok to believe this woman, who you don’t know, considering the timing of her reporting the alleged incident & defend her to the hilt, yet when Trump does the same for someone he does know and trust you admonish him for it. Btw, am not having a go at you. Also, I think that saying he views her as a piece of meat has no bearing on this incident as his main spokesperson is a woman. If she was accused of sexual misconduct 30years ago by a man, I believe that he would defend her also saying (or tweeting) something unpresidential like “that guy is a dumb looney”. Im no fan of Trump but I believe that its best to show good example ALL the time & not lower ourselves to his level where we have a trial by media…innocent til proven guilty

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    Mute Kem Trayle
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    Sep 27th 2018, 10:09 AM

    @John Mullin: The timing is not because the Democrats went looking for dirt – it’s because he was about to be appointed to the highest court in the U.S. for life and these women felt they had to let the country know who he actually is.

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    Mute Neal Ireland Hello.
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    Sep 27th 2018, 12:02 PM

    @Otranto: if the highly publicised detailed sworn statement release yesterday (which the accuser risks being jailed for if false) of gang rapes at multiple parties of multiple women, isn’t enough evidence to at least merit some sort of investigation, then please tell me what is?

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    Mute John Mullin
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    Sep 27th 2018, 12:03 PM

    @Kem Trayle: but again, that’s your opinion. The timing is designed to disrupt his nomination whether it’s done as a democratic political smear campaign or that these women were genuine and wanted to inform the world about a sordid history the nominee may or not have but the timing is everything. Perhaps if it was reported only to police instead of the media it might have had more support. He may well be a lecherous creep but he also may be a genuine decent family man whose family are been dragged through the mud. I commend real victims for coming forward but tbh I always suspect the motives of anyone who say that they didn’t report a crime to police in a confidential manner for fear of not being believed or some kind of public backlash and then go to the MEDIA instead.. doesn’t make sense

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    Mute EillieEs
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    Sep 27th 2018, 12:06 PM

    @Joseph Caulfield: funny that you view yourself as a Rottweiler, you seem more like a sheep to me

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    Mute John Ryan
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    Sep 27th 2018, 12:17 PM

    @Joseph Caulfield: Absolutely…do that then…Ford is more than willing to talk to the FBI..

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    Mute Dave O Keeffe
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    Sep 27th 2018, 12:34 PM

    @John Mullin: I’m sorry but the timing could just as likely have to do with him being among a number of names suggested for the title of Justice. If the alleged incidents occurred I’d imagine it’s be quite intensely painful the alleged victims to hear his name linked with that title every single day.

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    Mute John Mullin
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    Sep 27th 2018, 3:43 PM

    @Dave O Keeffe: yea Dave, while I don’t disagree with you at all, I’m also mindful of the notion that it is quite painful for him and his family as it is for the alleged victim(s) whoever is telling the truth. I just hate the idea of mob rule (which I thought was abandoned long ago) is making a comeback. The social outrage against any male alleged by a female to be involved in something sexually underhanded is riding on the back of and undermining the worthy cause enshrined in the #metoo movement. I suppose it’s human nature but it’s akin to when disabled driving bays were first introduced and lauded by all only for non disabled drivers to illegally use them while the disabled driver is back to square one. Kavanagh might be guilty but I always view people as innocent until proven otherwise

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    Mute Dave O Keeffe
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    Sep 27th 2018, 5:08 PM

    @John Mullin: I never said it wasn’t painful for him and his family. It no doubt is. But innocent until proven guilty has to be applied to both sides. Just because he’s accused doesn’t mean he did it and just because he hasn’t been convicted doesn’t mean she’s lying

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    Mute Colette Kearns
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    Sep 27th 2018, 7:59 AM

    We can comment on this article, but not on the article about bankers outrageous pay!

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    Mute Steven Fitzpatrick
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    Sep 27th 2018, 10:11 AM

    @Colette Kearns: absolutely sickening, isn’t it Colette. I say, down with that sort of thing.

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    Mute Mel Fitzpatrick
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    Sep 27th 2018, 8:01 AM

    Is it not weird that we know what she’s going to say before the event altogether?

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    Mute Brendan Greene
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    Sep 27th 2018, 8:20 AM

    @Mel Fitzpatrick: No, it isn’t. The procedure is that they give a written witness statement to the committee first and then are examined on it.

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    Mute Mel Fitzpatrick
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    Sep 27th 2018, 9:02 AM

    @Brendan Greene: I know that Brendan but it’s still a weird procedure.

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    Mute Tom Thumb
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    Sep 27th 2018, 8:07 AM

    Surely delaying the process so the FBI can determine whether there’s a case to answer is just common sense here? This is basically a job interview and it’s a job for life,surely anybody with any integrity would want them to look into it rather than risk confirming a man guilty of some pretty heinous acts?

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    Mute Vote4Pedro
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    Sep 27th 2018, 9:23 AM

    @Tom Thumb: thing is kavanaugh has I think gone through 6 extremely thorough fbi checks already in his life as a civil servant.

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    Mute John Ryan
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    Sep 27th 2018, 11:18 AM

    @Vote4Pedro: Then one more won’t hurt him will it..

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    Mute Tom Thumb
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    Sep 27th 2018, 11:20 AM

    @Vote4Pedro: Its not really the same mate.There’s specific allegations that will rightly need to be backed up with evidence.The FBI should investigate if the evidence is credible and should be able to determine relatively quickly if there’s a case for him to answer or if it’s just the accusers word against his.

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    Mute West Cork Lad
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    Sep 27th 2018, 12:26 PM

    @Vote4Pedro: Were those 6 extremely tough investigations carried out after he was convicted of what he has been accused of….oh wait,these allegations only have arisen in the past few weeks…

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    Mute Tom Thumb
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    Sep 27th 2018, 8:11 AM

    Interesting response from Trump when he was asked last night why he always sides with the accused rather than the accuser when it comes to claims of sexual assault.Bssically said its because he’s been accused of sexual assault numerous times(if that doesn’t show a man with a deep mistrust of women then I don’t know what does). Also said he was very upset with Roy Moore but since he was a Republican he wanted him to win anyway.Sarah HuckaSanders should have fun explaining that one away.

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    Mute Ossi Fritsche
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    Sep 27th 2018, 9:12 AM

    @Tom Thumb: Says it all about Republicans, when a GOP supporter which a woman was asked she said she would rather see a paedophile “Roy Moore” in office than a Democrate.

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    Mute Herbert
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    Sep 27th 2018, 9:29 AM

    @Tom Thumb: Innocent until proven guilty my friend

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    Mute Tom Thumb
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    Sep 27th 2018, 11:06 AM

    @Herbert: Couldn’t agree more buddy but that’s different to automatically siding with the accused because of the party they belong to,isn’t it?

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    Mute Herbert
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    Sep 27th 2018, 11:16 AM

    @Tom Thumb: It is, but US politics are toxic. And politics today are all about tribalism on all sides. Many on the left have labelled him as a sexual predator and a monster. This is almost identical to what happened to Clarence Thomas – not sure if you’ve read into it but it’s worthwhile. Andrew Breitbart was a leftist until the Thomas case came to light, and I can guarantee that more people will swing to the right because of this case now

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    Mute Tom Thumb
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    Sep 27th 2018, 11:33 AM

    @Herbert: I can’t really comment on what this will do to anybody’s political affiliations and politics is toxic but I’m commenting on basic human decency.Donald Trump has no idea if Kavanaugh is innocent or not and while he’s perfectly entitled to push ahead with this appointment if nobody can convince him he’s guilty,his rhetoric about how sexual assault victims would and should behave is ignorant,disgusting and as far away from how a decent human being(never mind a president)should speak on these matters. The reaction to women who come forward after rape/sexual assault is a big factor in why so many don’t want to come forward.An intelligent person with empathy could back his nominee without contributing to that problem,sadly he is neither of those things.

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    Mute John Ryan
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    Sep 27th 2018, 11:41 AM

    @Herbert: Innocent until proven guilty sure, but if you want to hold this to a criminal court standard then surely you agree that there should be an investigation at least rather than just dismissing the allegations out of hand.

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    Mute West Cork Lad
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    Sep 27th 2018, 12:30 PM

    @Herbert: “innocent until proven guilty ” <- so one should wait until he has proven his innocence,yes ? I couldn't agree more with you..

    "more people will swing to the right" <- thanks for the chuckle :0

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    Mute Dave O Keeffe
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    Sep 27th 2018, 12:36 PM

    @Herbert: but you have to maintain the innocent until proven guilty stance for both sides and therefore an investigation is the only way forward. Kavanaugh has already shown that he is comfortable lying to the committee.

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    Mute JΛCQUʘRΛПDΛ
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    Sep 27th 2018, 10:21 AM

    “I BELIEVED he was going to rape me.”

    They made a movie about this, Christine. It’s called Minority Report.

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    Mute Tom Thumb
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    Sep 27th 2018, 11:15 AM

    @JΛCQUʘRΛПDΛ: Unless I’m mistaken the alleged victim is reporting what if true,would be an actual crime and when actual crimes are committed testimony of what the victim felt at the time is a pretty important part of the process because intimidation is part of this alleged crime.

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    Mute Tom Purcell
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    Sep 27th 2018, 1:12 PM

    @Tom Thumb: perhaps, but remember, the testimony is not being given to a court, it is essentially all part of a job interview so there really is no evidencial procedure or bar of acceptance to get over in this situation.

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    Mute Tom Thumb
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    Sep 27th 2018, 5:48 PM

    @Tom Purcell: True but my comment was in response to a silly comment about Minority Report and how the alleged victim felt is still an important part of these proceedings.

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    Mute Oonagh Brett-Francisco
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    Sep 27th 2018, 2:46 PM

    Yeah well she has to make her story dramatic, whoever is paying her needs to get their moneys worth!

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    Mute Dave O Keeffe
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    Sep 27th 2018, 2:53 PM

    @Oonagh Brett-Francisco: innocent until proven guilty works both ways.

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    Mute Joe Byrne
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    Sep 27th 2018, 5:36 PM

    This woman is a total head case being manipulated by Democrats weirdos who conveniently overlook Keith Ellison beating up his live in girlfriend

    https://www.twincities.com/2018/09/26/keith-ellison-seeks-house-ethics-investigation-of-abuse-allegation/

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    Mute Joe Byrne
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    Sep 27th 2018, 5:32 PM

    This woman is a total head case being manipulated by Democrats weirdos who coviently https://www.google.com.au/search?client=safari&hl=en-au&q=conveniently&spell=1&amp;

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    Mute Tom Thumb
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    Sep 27th 2018, 5:43 PM

    @Joe Byrne: The Republicans can easily put it to bed then by calling the other person she claims was in the room to give his testimony but they won’t do it.Kavanaughs own college room mate contradicts much of Kavanaughs own testimony so far and says the allegations against him from a woman from college sound very believable and in character at the time. This guy ain’t getting confirmed.

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    Mute Joe Byrne
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    Sep 27th 2018, 6:22 PM

    @Tom Thumb: She’s a nut job

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