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Name: Ciara Byrne (myfamilyandmeatno.3)
Age: 27
Occupation: Childcare practitioner
Location: Dublin 15
What type of house is it? Semi-detached, built in 2005
How many bedrooms and bathrooms? Three bedrooms, three bathrooms
When did you move in? May 2020
Who lives there? Myself, my partner Patrick, son Lewis (6) and our four-month-old miniature dachshund, Demi
We liked that the house didn’t need too much work done, but with paint and small changes, we could make it our own. It was slightly dated but we saw the potential straight away.
That would have to be the kitchen, because the transformation from what it was when we moved in to what it is now is so impressive. Instead of getting a new kitchen, we painted it ourselves, fitted new counters and Patrick tiled the walls and floors. I love the fact that we did it all ourselves and on a budget too! We spend so much time in here.
The bathrooms would be my least favourite as they are dated and need work done… but they’re not top of the to-do list. Patrick does all of the work on the house himself, and with three bathrooms to work on, we’d be looking at a lot of time and money.
I think that would be the garden. It was our least favourite feature when we bought the house – it seemed so small and we thought we would get no sun at all. But when we moved in we realised we had two perfect sun spots: we get the sun right at the back door in the morning and at the back of the garden in the evening. Those sun spots led to us designing a garden with two patio areas, one for the morning coffee and one at the back for hosting evening parties with friends when we can. I think we have created a unique and perfectly functioning space with such a small area – and again we did all the work ourselves and on a budget.
Our morning usually begins with a wake up call from Lewis at 6.30a.m. We all head straight for the kitchen to be greeted by Demi. We have a coffee machine which is one thing I could not live without! We eat breakfast together at the kitchen table before I head off for work at 7.15am. Patrick gets Lewis ready and drops him to school for 8.20am, and returns home. He works from the spare room/office for the day as a software developer. I work part time so I am home to pick Lewis up from school at 2pm, and we return again to the kitchen to eat and do homework.
Our wind down time begins at 5pm, Patrick finishes work and we eat dinner together in the kitchen or sometimes on the sofa, especially on a Friday! After dinner we usually get out with Demi for a walk and return to the living room to relax on the sofa in front of the TV, or play with Lewis in his bedroom. Bedtime for Lewis is then 7pm, I curl up with him on his sofa under his bunk bed for a story. Once he is asleep I will get some house work done. Once the kitchen is clean I can relax. Myself and Patrick turn on the electric fire in the living room, light the candles and watch TV on the sofa, usually with a cuppa and some snacks until bedtime.
I would not change a thing so far but we are still adding to our home. We started by painting all the walls a standard light grey throughout and our plan is to add more colours to the walls to decorate further! We still don’t even have our own curtains so there’s plenty more to do before we start changing anything we have done already…
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Dear Santy/Angela, I’ve been a good boy all year and done everything you’ve asked. Please may I have an Xbox, interest rate reduction and a surprise. Thanks Michael:)
I.O.U. 100 billion euro
Another big novelty cheque for the bondholders?
You think I care about you, silly child? I’ve already signed away your future. Hahaha!!!
I’m serious chicken, Australia New Zealand or America is where you need to be headin!!!!, this place is fecked!!!!!!!
“This 10 year old will prob do a better job than me.”!
“Ich schwöre Dir, Angela Merkel, als Führer und Kanzler des Reiches Treue und Tapferkeit. Ich gelobe Dir und den von Dir bestimmten Vorgesetzten Gehorsam bis in den Tod, so wahr mit Gott helfe.”
He’s writing lines…I must try to stop taking tax payers money and putting it my own pocket..I must try to stop…
Ah Jaysas, at least give the translation too!
Haven’t ya heard of Google “I swear to you, Angela Merkel, as leader and chancellor of the empire loyalty and bravery. I vow to you and the superiors appointed by you obedience unto death, so true with God. “
I wish Bosco and I were still best friends, times were simpler then.
I pledge to bring the country to the edge – and over it..
So this is your contract of slavery for the rest of your life if you stay here.
Niamh, do you see this number with all the zero’s? That’s how much money you will have to pay to bail out our banks!
“I pledge allegiance to Ze Almighty Merkel et al. To implement budgetary cuts and impose taxes and charges on the peasants as they see fit. One sovereign, indivisible, with freedom, and great riches for all elite.”
“haha, by the time I’m finished, ye won’t have any money to buy new books”
I pledge to carry on as I have in the past year and as soon as my pension is topped up to a reasonable sum I will let somebody else clean up the mess.
Yours Sincerely.
Mick
For sale: beautiful country, comes with gullible voters (I got in! ;) ), free oil, wind and wave power, plentiful supply of firewood, original banking system, No hse, plenty of tax -Quick sale wanted, cash buyers only.. First to see will buy.. May consider part exchange.. Call (10-2 mon-fri (office hours) between sept and may) ask for enda..
A pledge for a blank cheque.
Dear Jim,
Can you fix it for me to….
cant wait for next election so i can retire and get fat pension
Looks like he’s doing a quick calculation:
“€132,709,700,000 x … Ah jasus lads, we’re ballixed!”
He’s doing up his CV for a job in EASONS.
I’m a big TOS*.ER
Dear Angela,nI’m just after a nice long break…
And from next May Niamh, you will pay 30% tax on your confirmation money. “You don’t mind Niamh, do you, as me and my colleagues have got used to a certain standard of living and we’re too old to change our ways”
“We put the Brick on the accelerator”
“tax high, spend low” that will do it
“fifty shades of grey” by Michael Noonan. ”
A lifetime in Limerick”.
I pledge to learn something about economics this year and to fix my whiny monotone voice so ICANN try and actually talk in a European meeting instead of just whining and not having a clue.
It doesn’t really matter what Noonan is pledging, like every other member of this government his word isn’t worth a damn.
Whatever he’s writing is not putting a smile on Niamh’s face anyway.
He’s writing down the provisional property tax liability, due from the young girl, on her ‘Wendy’ house.
Pledge ? …. I prefer Mr Sheen !
Start saving your pocket money now, because by the time your finished school your parents won’t be able to afford to buy you a tin of beans.
We have a plan in place that will ensure we get the bankers out of the mess were in today, at the expense of your parents and all of their friends.
With numerous budgets still to come I would also advise that you to find a job from 1st class on. As more than likely children will be means tested on their pocket money allowance from their parents.
But look on the bright side, at least we have great summers.
Yours sincerely,
Michael Noonon…
Noonan even
Squiggle………..
I agree. I think he is writing in Pokemon.
I pledge…I pledge…I pledge..I pledge hmmm…I pledge F**k All really is not my style..Yours insincerely Napoleon Noonan..
Murray, u sound like a sad old fianna failure
that letter to Cowen from the ECB!
Dear Children of Ireland,
As you know I firmly believe emigration is a lifestyle choice, that none of you will have a choice in. So lets stop wasting money educating you all. Let’s just ship you out from Kindergarten to various parts of the world so you can build their pension reserves. After all the people here won’t need it, that is why we keep “borrowing” from it.
We got elected so now forget everything we gave out about, as we will show you how much worse things can be.
The Right Honourable Michael J. Noonan, Minister for fleecing the tax payer.
I think the sign behind him says it all….
A LITTLE NONSENSE NOW AND THEN….
I’ll sum up our vision for the investment in your educational future in two words, “sorry about that”.
Get into reading, Australia expect basic literacy skills…
hopefully his resignation
I really don’t sound like George Burgess
This is your new foster home address – your parents did not pay the household property tax. I now have to give your home to a German tourist on a 3 month vacation. Run along now …,
The Rules of the Henry Hippo Club:
1st RULE: You do not talk about the HENRY HIPPO CLUB.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about HENRY HIPPO CLUB.
3rd RULE: Bailouts will go on as long as they have to…….
Look how easy it is for me to sign away your future…
There now! Amn’t I a better writer than Willie O’Dea?
And Michael Noonan writes his pledge of allegiance to the United States of America.
I pledge to cut…. to cut….. to cut…. I pledge to fix…. to fix…. DRRRRR!!!! (It’s actually a scene from a new movie, ‘Liar Liar 2′)
It was the best of times. Now it’s the worst of times.
Then Lenin came and Mick told him how to do things. And that’s the pedigree I am following.
with this invisible ink i thee pledge……………………………………….
He is writing a Proposal for a new tax on writing with blue ink.
meow meow meow
“I pledge that I will not *uck up this country any more than it is”
In our dreams I think??
There was a bald man from Limerick, who tried to write a good Limerick, when he got stuck he said,”who gives a F#*k” and ran all the way back to Limerick!
So, with the pocket money tax at 40% you owe me…
…and this is the amount of money I saved the then government in the Hepatitis C scandal……
This is my transcript of what went on in the Bildeberg Meeting. First we ordered our dinner and then we watched a video on all the misery we caused on the world, the best laugh I’ve had in years :) and then we all dressed up as some wierd druid like people and praised an owl-like creature and to finish we all ate some human liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
“100 euro” “Unfortunately young lady I can’t donate much because the country is strapped for cash.”
(The ceiling above gives way; money and jewels pour down on him.)
He is thinking, ‘Jesus they were right when they said a ten year old could do it better’.
He is writing….Budget 2013
“What I discussed at the Bilderberg meeting in my capacity as Minister for Finance for the Irish People was…”
Dear Mr Trichet,
We have started to scare the shit out of our citizens, as promised. By the time our, sorry your, budget comes around, in December, we expect them to say the usual, ” sure it could have been worse”. Your humble servant,
this is how much you will have to pay us for your life if you live here
40% of every penny you ever earn will be paid to support continuing socialization of the private losses incurred by irish banks’ careless gambling.
We shud have used our brains and voted sinn fein!!
So Barry has 2 apples but Ann-gela wants 10… feck..
‘Excuse me young miss, how do you spell pledge?’
All newly minted Euro coins will have a milk chocolatey centre!!! But not white chocolate thats manky!!!
Im not leaving here without those balloon animals.
Once upon a time there was a political party called Fin Gael.
I love petrol!!!
Sign here kiddo
“Michale Noonan”
*points* That’s my name!
100 lines I must try harder
so i cant make a quip about expenses,thanks journal.Im off to north korea where there is more freedom of speech!
“…take a left at the dole office go straight to the end of the street go around the corner and probably the corner after that…
mmmm! 4 across, In a really bad predicament. F blank blank K blank D. Well I’m stumped on that one!
WANTED….MONEY OF ANY TENDER….WILL EVEN TAKE FROM YOUR CHILDREN AND ELDERS
hope Niamh doesn’t notice that I don’t have a clue how to spell litteresy.
So you’se all snubbed me when I was leader of Fine Gael, now its pay back time.That should ease this big chip on my shoulder. ha!ha! HA!HA!HA!
Dear Brian,
If I publish the letter from Trichet will you come back and take over.
Now Niamh I do know your only 9 ,but this is how many thousand you already owe your country DEUTSCHLAND.
Hope they don’t think that I’m actually going to be doing any of these things that I am pledging to do. Found it hard enough to explain away d pre election promises.
once upon a time the cruel sheriff of Nottingham rand his soldiers took one tenth of all the money his peasants earned.- boy did he have a lot to learn
“You will be the last child that the state ever pays teachers to educate, or my name isn’t Nooooony.”
I pledge . . . . . . . that I will not write like some crazed jrunk tiny MONEY spider . . . . . . that is struggling to wield a solid gold pen . . . . . . and failing miserably.
Signed DAMNIT! I just broke another pledge.
“what did charlie mc creevy give cause enda says im on ly to go 20% of that figure”.
Mick N woz ere 2012……..
His Will?
How much is mammy’s house worth Niamh ?
Pledge,
Flash,
Persil,
Milk,
Bread…….
And now Sarah this is how you spell PROERTY TAX
‘no little girl, it’s potatoe with an E.’ FAIL
His resignation….
Ah no is that my alarm, was it all a dream !!!
Look, this is how I will fcuk the country at the next budget
He is writing… “Sucka’s”
I pledge to steal candy from babies.
And now Niamh this is how you spell PROPERTY TAX.
Can we play hangman next? The lads never play with me.
One law for us in the dail and another for the people outside the golden circle HaHa bringing in the new taxes for ye.
eeny meaney miney mo…
I am God……not a great one mind…
MATT DAMON!
He’s signing away the kids future to please his IMF/ECB over lords, the gormless gombeen.
I pledge to stop dithering and to focus on my job; oh look a puppy… aah puppies
Now pay attention and I’ll show you how to bleed tax payers dry!
his resignation, with any luck!
I promise that I will not raise fees for primary school goers… Signed Santa
I pledge to continue to pontificate about how much of a financial mire we’re in while continuing to take my hugely over inflated salary. Ha ha Bitches!
Michael: well Niamh what’ll we hit next? Niamh: I think we’ll hit the schools, no we’ll get Joan to hit health care again I think there’a bit of blood left there.
This is the way I signed you into slavery Niamh.
Dear nation
I am sorry for making such an awful job of the finances but if you re elect me the next time I vow to do better
I pledge to only eat feta cheese from now on
That he is going to ban gun ownership in America.
his resignation, with any luck!
All work and no play makes Mike a dull boy. All work and no play makes Mike a dull boy. All work and no play makes Mike a dull boy.
i swear there is nothing sinister behind those handcuff shaped baloons
The 5 x tables
I SMELL WEE.
MN: ‘Now is the winter of our discontent…’
Little Kid: ‘What!?! Only now, what planet are you on.’
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