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Sarah-Jane Goff had a fear of flying that was preventing her from travelling. A young girl in her 20s, travelling to the USA for the summer and determined to get rid of the fear, she attended a training course in Dublin with TheJournal.ie’s Christina Finn. Sarah-Jane is back on dry land after her trip and says the course, called FlyFearless, was 100 per cent worth it.
I NEVER THOUGHT that I would ever get on a flight by myself, let alone one from Dublin to San Francisco. But that is exactly what I did. It might not sound like an achievement to others, but if you had seen me a few months ago you would realise that it was something that I could never have done.
I first heard about the course, FlyFearless, in the newspaper. My Dad showed it to me as he knew I had a problem with flying. I had tried hypnotherapy before, but that had not worked and I was determined to get rid of my fear. My friends were planning an amazing trip, six weeks in the USA, moving from the east to the west coast. It was something I wanted to do, but the girls had told me that it would involve at least four or five flights.
I have had the fear of flying for a number of years. When I was about fourteen or fifteen I realised that my Dad had a bit of a fear of flying. I had never really noticed it before. But I began to wonder then – why was he afraid of flying? What were the reasons? But it never bothered me to the extent that I wouldn’t travel.
I even flew to Australia a few years ago and I flew back by myself. But after that I think my fear escalated, for a reason unknown to me. When I try and think now did I have any bad flights, or bad experiences flying, I really can’t think of any. The fear just seemed to come from no where, it just gradually got worse into something major.
When I first went to the course I don’t think I did it properly as such. It was great but I really should have booked a flight to go on straight away. Instead I let time go by and that was my mistake. So, once I knew that I was going on this trip to the US with my friend, I said I would need a refresher course if I was finally going to get rid of this fear once and for all.
Sitting in the room with all the other people who shared the same fear as me, there was a number of things going through my head. The co-ordinator Michael handed out cards and we had to select which fears we felt applied to us. I think I picked up every single card!
One was the fear of lack of control. Michael explained that flying in an aeroplane was the one place where you had to give over pretty much total control to someone else. I had a fear of being in the air and if something happened there was pretty much nothing I could do about it.
I never wanted it to stop me living my life; I was determined to overcome this fear. However, I had stopped booking flights to go on holidays because of my fear, so I knew I was getting to the stage where I had to do something about it.
When me and my family had holiday plans and the flights were booked for me, I was always worrying coming up to the date we were going. The two days before I knew I had to fly were always a nightmare. I just couldn’t look forward to the holiday. My family and friends did try and understand, but really, if you don’t have this fear it is hard for people to understand it, they just say “ah you’ll be grand”.
The worst part for me, is probably sitting in the seat on the plane and buckling up, because you know what is next. The take-off was always a big thing for me.
On the course they explained every sound you will hear and exactly how a plane gets into the air. It took all the mystery and fear out of it. It is all about control really. Just like people would say, if you are in car, if something wrong were to happen you could always jump out but when you are in a plane, there is nowhere to go, it’s not in your hands.
The first flight I had to take was from Dublin to New York. I used to have panic attacks before a flight, so this time I was really surprised by the calmness that came over me, it seemed to come from no where.
Sitting there with Christina, I knew I had to do it – I had to get on the plane. I had read over my notes from the course the night before. I was of course nervous, but compared to what I used to be it was nothing as bad. I think having done the course, I had the knowledge. Knowing all the facts about flying really helped.
I did my breathing exercises, I had my lucky charm and rosary beads, and I was ready for it. The technique that worked for me, which I was shown on the course, was doing maths sums on the plane. It takes your mind of things as your brain has to focus on the task in hand and it keeps the brain active.
One flight that challenged me was when we were in Denver getting a connecting flight to San Francisco – there was a storm outside. There was thunder and lightning and the power in the airport even turned off. That had me stressed. The girls I was with were, I’m sure, worried I would not get on the plane. But I had all my materials with me and I had to just say that if it isn’t safe they are not going to let us fly, that’s it.
Before the course, if that were to happen, that would have been it. I would not have gotten on that plane, I would have been crying and stressed out and just point blank refused to fly. I dont even think I was that bad, I wasn’t panicky at all. Before I would have been up at the desk, asking the lady what was the story, just a mess. So that was a big step for me.
Flying home was a big deal for me. My friends were staying on in San Francisco, but I had to get home for a wedding. This meant that I had to fly from the west coast of the US, back to Ireland, alone. I never, ever, thought that I could do something like that, especially as it involved two flights.
I never thought I would be able to do it alone, but I did. This time, I even read my book on the flight, something I never would have done before. I could never concentrate on anything else other than the flight, I would be sick to my stomach, but this time I was fine. I achieved what I never thought I could.
Throughout my trip I was looking forward to getting back and writing my testimonial on the FlyFearless website. I used to read them and find them quite inspirational, and I am so pleased that my success story is there now, and hopefully some people can take hope from it and know that you can overcome this fear.
Since I have been home, I have booked a further two flights, one to Spain and one over to London for the Olympics, and I am so pleased that I no longer let this fear, that was so debilitating to me, stop me from doing what I want to do. I am looking forward to my next holiday and that is something I never thought I would be able to say.
Sarah-Jane Goff is a recent HR graduate living in Bray, Co Wicklow.
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How about some rights for unmarried and single dads or do we need to pretend to be lgbt
@had the same problem with them here: one thing does not equate to the other. Why are you bringing that up during a discussion that is not related to that topic?
@Gearóid MacEachaidh: You just described LGBTQ+ in a nutshell
Your comment makes no sense.
@had the same problem with them here: what are you talking about? Single men and unmarried dad’s literally have more rights than lgbtq+ parents in many cases. It literally says it in the article. Shocking that bigoted whataboutery is complete nonsense
@Gearóid MacEachaidh: Then whybis it more popular than yours?
@had the same problem with them here: to be fair , rights of unmarried fathers have substantial improved under the 2015 act mentioned in the article .
@Gearóid MacEachaidh: it’s extremely relevant since the single father – unmarried father is actually a biological parent of the kid , unlike one of the members of the SSM . Not all unmarried father are dead beats or ignore their duties as parents
This from the same party that cut Children’s allowance?
#Neverforgive
@John Mcmahon: more woke nonsense. Why should these children have ANY rights
@alan: because of that inconvenient little document called the Constitution… oh and it’s the right thing to do.
@Paul: I thought you might add to my post, denying more people rights, thereby highlighting the inhumanity of the original comment. Different approach. Forget appeals to the Constitution. That’s exactly what the anti woke brigade want you to do. Maybe join the Labour Party who are about to disappear because they have neither any ideas nor the ability to promote, effectively, those that they do.
@alan: every child should have the rights and protection of the state .
I just find it a bit rich coming from the Labour Party
@John Mcmahon: if you want kids , don’t expect the State and the tax payers to fund it !
@Paul: what’s the fight thing to do ? Separate the child from its biological parents , who want to develop a relationship ? Not so long ago , the Constitution law was very clear on what a marriage meant and who were the ideal family .
They’re being denied the right of a proper and correct family structure. Matrimony comes from Matron – women in a family structure that bears children etc.
@Michael Holland: that little referendum we had in 2015 thankfully ignores your “opinion”
@Paul Furey: it hadn’t. Show us where it had anything to do with kids.
@Paul: Yes Mammy, I mean Daddy, I’m confused, are you my Mammy or Daddy?
@Abdul Abhaile: Depends what day it is
@Paul Furey: so in other words nothing changed. Gay people could already adopt a child through surrogacy or traditional means before the vote. The the vote literally did not add anything to the construction that wasn’t able to happen regarding kids. But if I’m wrong feel free to quote the part of the constitution you were voting on because it was obviously different than what the rest of us did. Also where your at it…. Show me where in history any child anywhere on the planet ever got to choose their own parents.
@Paul Furey: gay people could adopt and be parents before the referendum. Separate issue.
@Paul Furey: what ‘data’ would this be? Hopefully, more reliable than the ‘ data’ you have provided so far.
@Paul Furey: you’re just making things up to support your bigotry. I can’t think of any reason why children would be worse of with gay parents compared to straight. In fact, it’ll be normalised soon enough and the likes of you will die off enraged about it all still. Sad really.
@Max Bailey: Two men or two women can’t have a baby – that is a biological fact. Therefore, logically, surrogacy will be required.
There is a moral issue with surrogacy as it typically involves the exploitation of a vulnerable young woman. This is an issue that cannot and should not be brushed aside or dismissed as “hate”.
Treating another human being as an incubator is hateful as it treats that person as less than. It’s not really about gay or lesbian – lesbians can easily find a male donor – that has always been the case. Gay men on the other hand cannot carry the baby themselves so can either adopt or traffick another human being who is “less than” them.
Either way, this deprives the child of their own mother or father in the case of lesbians. It is one thing to grow up without a parent due to a death in the family, it is another to deliberately set out to bring a child into the world and to deprive that child of a relationship with its natural mother. That is not kind. On the contrary, it’s incredibly selfish so let’s not pretend otherwise.
@Paul Furey: Still have not posted that data I see – surprise surprise…
@Home Truths: you into young wauns, are ya ?
In 2015, 1.2million people supported LGBT community. That amount do not support the addition of Q+ which divides communities in my opinion.
@Barney: what is wrong with the Q bit and how would the Q bit affect marriage equality. Enlighten us.
per the photo – she has the support of 7.5 people, 8.5 if she counts the women in the mirror every morning… although she probably shouldnt count on that vote..
I’m eagerly anticipating the start of July, hoping things will start to feel more normal again!
From a political point of view I’d like to see Labour speaking up about more issues to do with ‘labour’ i.e. workers rights. Right now is a perfect opportunity to speak up about abuses within the civil service. Surely this party wants votes.
@nickusan: They know nothing about those issues but if you want to know about a nice bottle of wine or where the best restaurants are, the Labour Party can help you out.
@nickusan: that cuckoo has flown .
It was quite telling all during pride month that there was feck all talk/memorials/vigils/parades etc for those 2 poor sligo men buturched by that immigrant
if the killer was a str8 white guy ,we never hear the end of it!
MORE AND MORE self righteous hypocrisy from the self appointed “good guys”
@empty: eh…. How many prides have you been to this year? I’ve been to two and those two men were heavily mentioned. Do you think gay people don’t mind gays being murdered unless it’s by white people? I mean seriously?
@Gearóid MacEachaidh:
Really, from all the coverage of parades and celebrations on tv an din papers and online, I have legit feck all reference to those poor men!
The silence is quite deafening!
@empty: so you see 2 or 3 minutes of coverage of an event that lasted a month and a parade and after party that lasted approx 6 hours and out of those couple of minutes of coverage you decided that nothing was said all month or all day? OK.
@Gearóid MacEachaidh:
after what happened u think it be covered a lot more, but we all know why not, now dont we!
#coverups
#movealongnothingtoseehere
@empty: you haven’t a clue about what is “covered” and what isn’t. Back to your YouTube k-hole bud. You are beyond help.
Single sex couples can’t have children. It’s injustice if children can’t have the right to have their biological parents listed on their birth cert.
@Mr. Cullen: It truly is. My father went to his grave without knowing who his parents were. This impacted him his entire life. Separating children from their natural parents is not kind. It is one of the cruellest things a human can do to another human.
Its an injustice Labour Party are still around. After the likes of Eamon “not one more red cent” Gilmore to Joan “stop harringly me Vincent” Bruton” to Alan “Irish Water will be my legacy” Kelly, they should have been washed out with the tide.
@UCD Trinity: And that they had a landlord as leader of the party shows how they’ve become the complete opposite of what James Connolly stood for!
@Gearóid MacEachaidh : Apart from Q being Derogatory. It is based on nonsense Gender identity that has no scientific basis or societal acceptence. On that very basis it would break up & contradict any security in marriage, which is primarly to secure families and protect children.
Oh and Ivana Bacik? Never a more unlikable woman, have I ever come across. Kindly just piss off.
Any update on the numbers of refugees in D4, Or is D4 full.
Oh Christ.
Sandymount clown
What about the children’s right to know who their biological mother or father was?
This law puts the rights of the adults before those of the children.
It also encourages human trafficking of vulnerable women’s bodies.
Sperm donations are not without problems either both moral and legal.
There have been many cases of doctors donating their own sperm leading to dozens or hundreds of offspring who could end up in relationships with one another without realising it. There are also cases of super donors who have sired hundreds of children again with the same risks. This is first and foremost a middle-class bill for middle-class people who are used to getting what they want all the time.
It’s not about the children when you ignore their biological parent.
This bill commoditizes children.
It will encourage ever more people to order babies online.
It encourages human trafficking of vulnerable women in poor or war-torn countries like Ukraine. These children could not exist without their biological mother or father.
They have a right to know who their parents were.
Two women cannot create a baby and neither can two men.
Wanting children is natural – using another human being, especially a woman who has to carry the baby for 9 months is human trafficking and it exploits vulnerable or desperate women. Womb trafficking is a growing business and the women end up being pimped on an industrial scale with the majority of the money going to their male handlers as is already the case with prostitution.
Those against same-sex couples/families would have been the same type against interracial marriage.
Such homophobia, racism, and bigotry needs to be stamped out in a civil society. And it’s always the adults who harbor such hatred, albeit a small yet vocal number but still worrying.
@9QRixo8H: There’s a lot of us. See how many likes my comment had before it got taken down.
@Gearóid Quirke: So are you also against interracial marriage? Yes I saw what you had written and it was very concerning for lgbt families. Can’t you just leave people be without harassing them?
@9QRixo8H:
and still we import people from a certain culture where being gay is banned and or u get the d*ath peno for it
and what is defined as being racist and being a bigot has become value less as the far left nutters and some people in minorities have caused the bar for what is deemed as bad lower and lower.
76% and counting btw!
@empty: Those parties combined are on less than 1% in all opinion polls and recent elections. Even FFG have consistently kept their support at roughly the same level since the election (don’t ask me how).
You can flood this little forum with hate all day long but it’s not transferring in real life
@Gearóid Quirke: it’s concerning that you seem to be proud of hating others just for being different to you for something they can’t control. And yeah, whilst there may be a “lot” of brainwashed bigots, you are still massively in the minority and always will be.
@9QRixo8H: Why are you ignoring the women who are trafficked to act as human incubators? This is already a burgeoning industry in Africa where baby factories are mushrooming
Baby factories taint surrogacy in Nigeria
Abstract
The practice of reproductive medicine in Nigeria is facing new challenges with the proliferation of ‘baby factories’. Baby factories are buildings, hospitals or orphanages that have been converted into places for young girls and women to give birth to children for sale on the black market, often to infertile couples, or into trafficking rings. This practice illegally provides outcomes (children) similar to surrogacy. While surrogacy has not been well accepted in this environment, the proliferation of baby factories further threatens its acceptance. The involvement of medical and allied health workers in the operation of baby factories raises ethical concerns. The lack of a properly defined legal framework and code of practice for surrogacy makes it difficult to prosecute baby factory owners, especially when they are health workers claiming to be providing services to clients. In this environment, surrogacy and other assisted reproductive techniques urgently require regulation in order to define when ethico-legal lines have been crossed in providing surrogacy or surrogacy-like services.
“Children of same sex couples” is an oxymoron
God help those children given the psychological damage growing up under such a grotesque ‘family’ dispensation.
Labour were in government in 2015. Why didn’t yee get it right the first time instead of jumping about it now.
This article is fundamentally dishonest.
It presents the issue of surrogacy as only being a concern for LGBT+
This is not the case. There are plenty of high profile cases of heterosexual couples using vulnerable women to get what they want irrespective of the rights of these women or THEIR babies.
First and foremost, these children must retain their right to know who their biological mother and father are not just the people who paid for them.
This is just a modern secular version of what the catholic did for decades – use poor people to provide babies for the well-off.
To say it’s an injustice seems a bit strong. It certainly is a relatively new phenomenon and is due consideration in the parliament. Good luck getting it on that agenda, which is years long, as Ivana knows. Just a lot of hot air from her. Trying to make her champagne socialism more relevant by solving rather pressing 1st world problems.
Labour scrambling for relevance. I recall how Burton and Gilmorer savaged lone parents’ standard if living who are still suffering the consequence of Labour’s last stint at propping up right-wing parties. Never again will the electorate trust them
Most of the supporters and advocates for same sex marriage were all quick to point out untruths that there would be no issues or concerns about children . That was always fantasy stuff , but how many bought that tripe ? It wouldn’t be justifiable to discriminate against married couples when it comes to children’s rights , yet when that was pointed out , the “experts” tried to shut that discussion down . Now here we are at the inevitable issue of children again. Why did this community claim that the referendum was just about marriage and only marriage ? It’s not like a lot of them they were ignorant of law .
I can’t understand why Ivana Bacik concentrates mainly on this stuff. Labour are going to be wiped out at the next election and she keeps going on about these woke agendas. Irish people are not interested or are against it (but are afraid to say so in case they are accused of being ‘racist’ ‘homophobic’ or whatever you’re having yourself)
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