Advertisement

We need your help now

Support from readers like you keeps The Journal open.

You are visiting us because we have something you value. Independent, unbiased news that tells the truth. Advertising revenue goes some way to support our mission, but this year it has not been enough.

If you've seen value in our reporting, please contribute what you can, so we can continue to produce accurate and meaningful journalism. For everyone who needs it.

Opinion Overnight, chronic pain caused me to turn into an almost childlike version of myself

Artist Ciara Chapman’s work on chronic pain is to be exhibited in Cork city – here, she explains how chronic pain has affected her life and how art has helped.

CHRONIC PAIN – IT’S so difficult to explain in words but it impacts every aspect of your life and the life of those close to you.

For me, overnight I went from a very independent woman, married less than a year with so many plans for my future – and I turned into a version of myself that was almost childlike.

I depended on my husband and mother for everything. Food, clothes, medicine, socialising, rent, income support, medical visits – everything. I started to feel like I was no longer entitled to an opinion in my own world because I was entirely dependent on those around me.

The guilt associated with cancelling last-minute plans and not being able to attend big events was tough, but watching my husband carry our lives on his shoulder was close to unbearable.

Originally from Carlow, I’m an artist and illustrator based in Cork city. My educational background is in Fine Art Printmaking and Graphic Design. In 2015 when I was 32 I had an accident that has left me with chronic sciatica and nerve problems in my back and legs.

I’d known next to nothing myself about the realities of living with chronic pain before the accident. Of course I realise now that thousands of people live with chronic pain, but this was all a total shock to me.

BF9D5A90-C5C7-464B-B3E5-68EB2A6C47C4 Art created by Ciara

After my accident I had the most intense feeling of having ‘fallen into a rabbit hole’. My new condition meant that I was often only able to experience the outside world through a filter – secondhand through other people, through the TV or the internet.

My situation, of only being able to receive this distorted, filtered experience of the outside world, gave me a connection to Alice in Wonderland.

And then during a particularly lonely period, my husband suggested we get a pet so I would have company each day. When we got to the pet shop I found the perfect little creature to keep me company. A little white rabbit we called Opie. I knew then my fate and connection to Alice was sealed!

Alice fell and I fell too.

Opening up the world

My new reality of living with chronic pain was really difficult for me to communicate to my family and friends, however much they wanted to be helpful and supportive.

They couldn’t understand why I wasn’t getting better, so, from down through the rabbit hole, I started to illustrate my experiences as a chronic pain diary, with the thought in mind that a picture tells a thousand words.

I didn’t want to look back at my time with pain as time wasted: I wanted something to show for this experience. And so My Chronic Pain Diary was born, using delicate lines and bright colours to balance out the weighty themes.

And the diary opened up the world for me in a way I wasn’t expecting. It gave me something to work on and something to work towards. Drawing and creating my diary was a way for me to claw things back. I started to see my value more and more as time went on. I began to adjust to how my body now worked and started to contribute more in my relationships.

I was so delighted when my illustrations for My Chronic Pain Diary received a Silver A’design award, a commendation from the Institute of Designers in Ireland, and I was shortlisted for the Association of Illustrators, World Design Award. I had the opportunity to work with Pfizer Pharmaceuticals on their chronic pain campaign at the European Pain Awareness Conference in 2019 and the following year I worked with Toyota Mobility on the Toyota Mobility Foundation’s Going Further campaign.

Taking the next step

Last year I realised I had reached 100 illustrated diary entries, and so decided to take the next step with this project. I applied for funding through the Arts Council’s Arts and Disability Connect scheme, managed by Arts & Disability Ireland. I was thrilled to be successful in that application and so I have now been able to develop a three-part project for September this year – which also happens to be Pain Awareness Month.

The first element is a printed book with over 100 illustrations from My Chronic Pain Diary. The second part of the project is an exhibition at Cork Printmakers of digital prints from this book. Aideen Quirke, the Director of Cork Printmakers has been such a remarkable influence on this project. At times where I was losing faith in myself and my big ideas, Aideen was there to push them forward, help me develop them and see the value in what I was trying to accomplish.

The third part of my project is an art trail of illustrations from the book in 2- and 3D in shop windows throughout Cork city. These windows will be decorated and filled with illustrations from My Chronic Pain Diary, embroidered artworks and origami characters with colourful fabrics and lighting, along with video pieces of short animations of some of the illustrations.

158224ED-9A34-4DAE-A912-749961BD5928

Accessibility is very important to me so by using shop windows a person can walk, cycle, use a wheelchair or stay in the car to travel from window to window. Keeping accessibility in mind, each window will have a QR code, which when scanned will send people to a soundcloud file on www.mychronicpaindiary.com where they can hear an audio description of the contents of each window. There are 15 shops involved in the art trail, and we’ll be running guided tours of the windows on two days in September, one being Culture Night.

Cork City Council Arts Office funding meant I could hire a project coordinator, Aoife Claffey who is a visual artist based in Cork city. I created the artwork but Aoife is helping it come to life. We put all the artwork together in St John’s Central College and then she’s installing all the artwork in the windows, doing all of the heavy lifting, and coordinating everything. I couldn’t install the artwork without her. She’s not afraid to try things out, she drives me everywhere and her enthusiasm for the project is so refreshing. I’ve been living with these images for a few years now so having her new perspective is brilliant.

I’ve also been supported along the way in this journey by Cork Chamber, Notes to Cork and Crowley’s Opticians. Support has also come from St John’s Central College, The Paint Store in Ballincollig and Sooner Than Later in Dublin who printed the books.

The people that matter

Chronic pain is a very polarising experience but one thing it does is show you the people and relationships that really matter to you.

The people that step away, you learn to let go of – but the people that step forward are gifts you probably took for granted before now.

To find out more about the My Chronic Pain Diary events taking place in Cork in September, visit Ciara’s website. Ciara Chapman is an award-winning artist living in Cork city. 

Readers like you are keeping these stories free for everyone...
A mix of advertising and supporting contributions helps keep paywalls away from valuable information like this article. Over 5,000 readers like you have already stepped up and support us with a monthly payment or a once-off donation.

Close
4 Comments
This is YOUR comments community. Stay civil, stay constructive, stay on topic. Please familiarise yourself with our comments policy here before taking part.
Leave a Comment
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Sam Harms
    Favourite Sam Harms
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 6:15 PM

    If weddings can happen this weekend restaurants should have been allowed to stay open until Monday so that they don’t waste the stock they would have bought in for the weekend which will now just be more money lost.

    238
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute ihcalaM
    Favourite ihcalaM
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 6:22 PM

    @Sam Harms: Good point, didn’t think about that; presumably they didn’t want a huge rush on restaurants before they’re closed for the three weeks though which was probably the reason for the sudden announcement.

    27
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Claude Saulnier
    Favourite Claude Saulnier
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 6:47 PM

    @Sam Harms: it wouldn’t be good for deliveroo and uber eats.

    4
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Mary Ann Sweeney
    Favourite Mary Ann Sweeney
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 6:15 PM

    Does the virus not spread at the weekends? What’s the difference between now and Monday?

    77
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Claude Saulnier
    Favourite Claude Saulnier
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 6:45 PM

    @Mary Ann Sweeney: 2 days. Can’t answer the first one.

    28
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute PeeedOff
    Favourite PeeedOff
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 7:36 PM

    @Mary Ann Sweeney: This has to be the most intelligent virus on the planet, it wont get you in 105 mins while eating a meal, it only appears if 26 attend a wedding. Or if 7 are in the house. You can also fly with over 100 people on an aircraft. You can take a ferry with several hindered people to another country, yep apparently it won’t get ya there either.

    Over 200 In one meat plant countless more in others and yet they operate as if nothing is happening. A few hundred Active cases in Dublin and yep yer locked up or down whichever way its the same thing. Oh and yesterday house parties were the cause, but today without any evidence whatsoever its restaurants and pubs.

    Definitely the smartest virus ever.

    24
    See 3 more replies ▾
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Decko49
    Favourite Decko49
    Report
    Sep 19th 2020, 9:26 AM

    @PeeedOff: Its just a pity you’re not as smart as it.

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Decko49
    Favourite Decko49
    Report
    Sep 19th 2020, 9:27 AM

    @PeeedOff: Has any member of your family or any friends died from the virus?

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute PeeedOff
    Favourite PeeedOff
    Report
    Sep 19th 2020, 9:53 AM

    @Decko49: Yes, do you want their Names and address’s. Well I’ll give you their location. The Cemetery.

    Any other personal info you require. Or is the Cynical interrogation finished now.

    And yes, this is now a Casedemic, which this Government is now bending over backwards to destroy society in Ireland.

    2
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Jeanette Dunne
    Favourite Jeanette Dunne
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 6:23 PM

    another blow to anyone getting married in the next few days up there, I’ve resigned to the fact the wedding we planned for June 2020 will never be.thinking we were safe pushing it to august, nope, definitely next May right?? Nope probably not!

    39
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Aaron
    Favourite Aaron
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 6:43 PM

    @Jeanette Dunne: Just push it to late next year? Might have a better chance then

    9
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute SB
    Favourite SB
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 6:25 PM

    Covid 19 is such an intelligent virus it knows the difference between 50 at weekends and 25 from Monday

    32
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Peter Bell
    Favourite Peter Bell
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 6:23 PM

    Sad times we are living in…..

    20
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute D4 Observer
    Favourite D4 Observer
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 6:20 PM

    Should have let the communions go ahead too.

    19
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute nelliekel
    Favourite nelliekel
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 6:34 PM

    Wgat about the poor children were to make communion tmw been told day before its cancelled

    13
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Rachael Baldwin
    Favourite Rachael Baldwin
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 9:29 PM

    @nelliekel: Completely agree! My nephew and some of my friends kids were due to have theirs tomorrow too and to find out less than 24 hours before is disgusting. Don’t understand how weddings can go ahead and communions can’t. Furious for the parents and kids.

    12
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Pauline Gallagher
    Favourite Pauline Gallagher
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 11:59 PM

    @Rachael Baldwin: Pointless day anyway.

    8
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute William Kelly
    Favourite William Kelly
    Report
    Sep 18th 2020, 7:11 PM

    Ah shure, just split the hooley into 2 x25 phases. Lots of wedding feasts go over 2 days or more.
    Could be the way forward, his & hers maybe.

    6
Submit a report
Please help us understand how this comment violates our community guidelines.
Thank you for the feedback
Your feedback has been sent to our team for review.

Leave a commentcancel

 
JournalTv
News in 60 seconds