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File photo Sasko Lazarov/Photocall Ireland

Column ‘I will miss you’ – a mum writes to her son starting school

Lunches, lessons and other adventures – Deborah McCarthy gives some advice to her young son as he sets off.

TO MY BOY,

How is it you are starting school this week?

It seems like only a heartbeat ago since you were this.

Then you were home with me in your tiny babygro, swaddled in your blanket.

Glen Hansard won an Oscar for Once a couple of days after you were born. We watched it together in the middle of the night, you a tiny newborn gazing up at me. Falling Slowly is our song. I sung it to you all the time when you were smaller. Now you are going to be putting on a uniform and you don’t really look for bedtime songs that much any more.

It’s a momentous step in your life. Don’t get me wrong now, it wont be taxing at first. You will mainly just colour in for the first year. You will love it. Some of the other things might take a bit of getting use to though. Your teacher will be lovely but she is there for 27 children in your class, not just you. You need to close your own coat, open your own lunchbox and wipe your own bum (dear God, please remember this part). The school is big. Very big. It’s OK though because your classroom will be cosy and I will be waiting everyday outside when you are finished.

You need to eat your lunch everyday. At the moment you only really like cucumber and yogurt for lunch. Yogurt is a non-runner for the lunchbox and you’re not going to survive on just some cucumber at school so please give sandwiches a try, please?

Every day

You’re going to make loads of new friends. Possibly even life long ones. I met your godmother, 30 years ago on my first day of school. Not everyone will be your friend though and some of the children might do something to annoy you some days or might even be mean to you. I will tell you this is because they are having a bad day and not to let it bother you. I won’t tell you how I really feel about the potential situation of another child being mean to you as I will sound psychotic. Ignore them though, its their loss. I’ll take off my rose-tinted glasses for a split second and also ask you please don’t be mean to anyone either. I don’t think you will, you never have been before but thought it was worth a mention.

I don’t think you realise with all the excitement of starting, that it’s not just for a couple of days or weeks. This is it now. Eight years of primary school followed by another five or six of secondary school. You have to go every day. It’s not like in playschool when you were a bit tired so we stayed home and had movie days on the couch. I am sorry now I didn’t make more of the time when we weren’t tied down by school restrictions. I should have had more adventures with you. You get a lot of holidays though , we’ll adventure loads then, I promise.

I know for the first couple of weeks you are going to be demonic in the afternoon due to exhaustion. The getting up early, the colouring in, the eating of the cucumber and the looking after your own things will take it out of you. I’m prepared for that and I’ll let you away with it until October.

Leopardskin slippers

I will also try not to bombard you with questions about your day when I collect you from school but please please please tell me some things. It’s a big thing for me, you spending hours away from me every day. I want to know every single detail about the game in the yard, at least at the start anyway.

Your big sister can’t wait for you to go to school with her. Your partner in crime, your little sister, I fear, is going to be like a lost soul without anyone to chase her for hours every morning. She will miss you. I will miss you. Your sister is just not into the hugs and kisses the way you are.

I promise to try not to cry. Although I will warn you,every year I cry when they do the segment on the news about starting school and show all the new tiny junior infants in their uniforms. Yep, that’s me your mother, crying over children I don’t know starting school. So you know it doesn’t augur well, the not crying. I cried when you finished playschool, cried when buying your uniform and will obviously cry when you put the uniform on , on Monday week.

You won’t see though, I will hide it. I won’t cry when we go into your class room. I’ll get you settled and when I leave, I will sob. You won’t see that though either. Oh your Dad, will most likely cry too. (Here’s hoping your grow up OK with two whingebags as parents.) I wont be crying because I am sad, I will be crying because I am proud of you.

So off you go, laugh, make friends, have fun, explore and learn . I promise I will never drop you to school wearing leopard skin slippers. It only happened once before but your sister is still going on about it 18 months later. I will be waiting everyday outside when you finish, looking forward to your hug. If you want to wait till we get home to hug me because you’re big now, that’s cool, I understand.

I love you baby boy, enjoy every second of it.

Deborah McCarthy has three children. She writes at TheClothesline.ie, a blog and swap site for maternity, baby and children’s clothes.

Do you have memories of starting school, or seeing children off for the first time? Leave them in the comments or email news@thejournal.ie.

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51 Comments
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    Mute David Grey
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    Nov 9th 2017, 6:49 AM

    Families with children were hit harder than any other group and still are!
    Anyone on low to low middle incomes with kids were plunged into poverty by FF/Green and FG/Lab governments – this is shown by statistics and data, the same statistics show that the wealthy in Ireland got progressively more wealthy as we got poorer – the obvious agenda is to redistribute wealth to the top!
    People need to get out on the streets – child poverty is at record levels and this awful government has done NOTHING to improve the situation – they’ve made it far worse!

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    Mute Paul Fahey
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    Nov 9th 2017, 7:31 AM

    @David Grey: what do you class as the top, you know where you state there is an obvious agenda to redistribute wealth to? What income do you think families stop having financial pressures and suffering?

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    Mute Bilbo Baggins
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    Nov 9th 2017, 7:32 AM

    @David Grey: https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/08/07/opinion/leonhardt-income-inequality.html I thought this graph is an excellent display of how things have changed. It’s US focused but it’s going to be similar here.

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    Mute Paul Fahey
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    Nov 9th 2017, 7:39 AM

    @Bilbo Baggins: @Bilbo Baggins: do you are totally ignoring the article, which is about the middle class, and instead want to focus on the 0.001%. I ask you the same question, at which level of income do you think financial pressures and worries end?

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    Mute Bilbo Baggins
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    Nov 9th 2017, 9:13 AM

    @Paul Fahey: about the top 1-3% I’d say Paul. I share your view though that this angle will be used to punish the top 60% instead. (Not ignoring it at all).

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    Mute Paul Fahey
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    Nov 9th 2017, 9:51 AM

    @David Mc Nally: really? If you believe families with a salary income of 100k have ordinarily more than one source of income you are wrong and have believed too many of the rhetorical platitudes and falsehoods spewed out with ease and no evidence.

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    Mute Sean Conway
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    Nov 9th 2017, 12:22 PM

    @David Grey: Very well said.

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    Mute Phil Keenan
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    Nov 9th 2017, 7:07 AM

    Us families won’t be found on those paradise papers! If mega rich people and companies paid their taxes it might just help!

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    Mute Jay Lane
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    Nov 9th 2017, 8:18 AM

    @Phil Keenan: Labour shamefully and FG only cut from the poorest in their 5 regressive budgets as ERSI already proved. Remember Leo telling families in 2012 to “take a holidayas they were not cut, but Leo and Labour took 9-12 euro a week of rent allowance,electricity units to the elderly and fuel allowance cuts in 2012 whilst only taking 2 euro a week off the wealthiest for the household charge in 2012. Joan & FG slyly cut the pensions of many men and women who took time off to rear their children in 2012 too.

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    Mute Richie Curry
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    Nov 9th 2017, 6:48 AM

    Oh yes….we did not complete three or four mortgage repayments fully, paid over half each month for a few months, built up arrears….both working bit incomes reduced…..jaysus PTSB hounded us…..all paid up now…..but so pushy….and not for the people….to see the credit union do mortgages would be great for us all.

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    Mute Isthatright
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    Nov 9th 2017, 7:15 AM

    @Richie Curry:
    Ulster Bank in my case, knowingly trying to rip customers off. Bet the executives didn’t loose sleep, weight, feel inadequate/suicidal or grind their teeth away !

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    Mute Jay Lane
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    Nov 9th 2017, 8:20 AM

    Middle class had it the easiest from 2011-16 as ERSI has proved.

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    Mute Jay Lane
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    Nov 9th 2017, 8:10 AM

    Latest housing bubble is well under way as anyone trying to buy or even rent the most basic of dives.

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    Mute Jay Lane
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    Nov 9th 2017, 8:11 AM

    The latest housing bubble well under way. Anyone trying to buy or rent even the basic of dives off a a greedy & uncaring of basic habitation standards, only knows too well of housing crisis & don’t need last Thursdays Prime Time to tell them. What’s Leo and FG doing to help tenants by tax evading landlords & vulture funds?

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    Mute Cram Wood
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    Nov 9th 2017, 7:26 AM

    Wealth re-distribution is the State plan.
    Also know as having an inclusive society where all the people (especially the the top brass) can have an equal income and quality of life.
    What they don’t say is that they need to fleece-tax everyone in the country to achieve it.
    They just scutter on with communist babble like comrad Higgins.

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    Mute paulganly
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    Nov 9th 2017, 9:02 AM

    @Cram Wood: What are you trying to say?

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    Mute Seán O'Connor
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    Nov 9th 2017, 7:29 AM

    Excellent stock photo of ‘middle class worry’

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    Mute Nigel Mcatamney
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    Nov 9th 2017, 7:40 AM

    I find the poor middle income landlords affected the most….. When the greed for rent increases kicks in, you have to be prepared for the extra tax that follows. Boo hoo!!!

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    Mute Horace
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    Nov 9th 2017, 7:59 AM

    Keep voting FG/FF/Labour and expect different results? The definition of stupidity.

    They DON’T care about you. Wake up.

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    Mute Stephen Hughes
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    Nov 9th 2017, 7:42 AM

    Hopefully there’re ready for the next one

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    Mute David Stapleton
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    Nov 9th 2017, 10:08 AM

    What is “middle class” anyway? How does one define it, especially against such other classes as professional and managerial???

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    Mute Kevin Slater
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    Nov 9th 2017, 10:55 AM

    Aw

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