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Surrealing in the Years Yes, the profits are enormous, but that doesn't affect our price hikes

We almost got through the whole column without mentioning RTÉ!

WE’VE FINALLY REACHED the chapter of climate change where we’re naming continental weather events for three-headed hellhound monsters of ancient Greek myth. 

Record temperatures in the high 40s were clocked across Europe this week, as over 1,200 children were evacuated from a Greek resort. The scorching heat climbed to 53 degrees Celsius in California’s Death Valley, where tourists showed up to take photos with the thermometers, which is sort of like sneaking a selfie with one of the four horsemen of the Apocalypse.

Evidently in two minds about climate armageddon, some Irish journalists took to Twitter to ponder over which was preferable: the rain in Ireland or the suffocating heat of Europe. An unhelpful narrative, to say the least.

A study published this week by the journal Nature Medicine found that 61,600 people may have died from heat-related causes across 35 European countries from late May to early September 2022. We can expect to see similar figures published next year no doubt, now that we’ve been visited by the literal guardian of Hades.

You might feel as though you need a pint after reading all of that. That’s natural. Heat makes us thirsty. This brings us to our next item of business.

Now, if you were to imagine some international media tycoon based in a skyscraper in London or New York, you might imagine him snippily saying something like “The Irish? What have they got to worry about? The price of a pint?” Well, this week, that unpleasant but fictitious individual who I have created for the purpose of this column would be correct.

From the outside looking in, it might seem that the frustration surrounding the 4c increase in the price of pints is indicative of an alcohol-obsessed culture, one where interest can be aroused simply by the mention of the word ‘pint’ in isolation, or any context.

And yes, okay, that’s probably “technically” true, but it’s not the whole story.

Concern over what, on the face of it, appears to be a meagre increase in the price of a good that a) is supposed to be consumed in low moderation and b) is available for less money in a supermarket, actually tells us a lot about the broader anxieties currently faced by modern Ireland.

The first is the ongoing cost of living crisis. This is the second increase in the price of pints made by Diageo in six months. The company bumped the price of its draughts by 12c back in February. In order for publicans to maintain their margins, even greater price increases are then passed down to the consumer. When these costs and additional VAT are into account, the latest increase could be more like 10c per pint at the bar.

The secondary issues centre around problems such as rural isolation, a lack of cultural spaces, and a society where the pub still represents the number one outlet for socialising whether you are living in Dublin city centre or a town of hundreds. 

Seen through this lens, the consternation over climbing prices is easier to understand. A pint of economic misfortune with a lack of public investment head, if you will. In some pubs they call that ‘a special’. With all due respect to Chris Martin, if it’s costing us somewhere in the region of €2,440 to see Coldplay, something is badly wrong with either the domestic economy, or with our valuation of a band who have not written anything to rival The Scientist in the ensuing 21 years since its release.

And oh, we came close. We came so very close to not mentioning RTÉ this week.

With the Dáil in recess and Kevin Bakhurst apparently asking everyone on earth (including Ryan Tubridy) what he should do about Ryan Tubridy, it seemed as though we were being given at least a weeklong reprieve from national broadcaster cock-ups. 

That was until the FIFA Women’s World Cup kicked off and it immediately became clear that while the picture was coming in from Sydney, the audio was obviously coming in from George Hamilton’s home base on Rigel 7

After the painful few weeks RTÉ has had, coverage of an inspiring World Cup campaign should have been an open goal (this pun is neither intended nor unintended and it would be best if you simply ignore it). Instead, many viewers will have flocked to ITV in order to watch Ireland’s unfortunate 1-0 defeat to Australia. Ireland put up a valiant effort, and the real loser of the day was, sadly, RTÉ.

Good coverage of Irish sporting events is utterly essential to RTÉ’s mission, and most of our fondest memories of the broadcaster likely include George Hamilton’s commentary of Ireland’s Italia ’90 penalty shootout against Romania, or Sonia O’Sullivan’s silver medal win (in the same stadium RTÉ struggled to broadcast from on Thursday).

Those trust-building, hopeful, joyous moments are RTÉ’s foremost unique selling point. Making a balls of them is the last thing they need right now.

So let us spare a thought in these times for the struggling institutions who have blessed us with so many sweet memories — those moments of glory, narrated by RTÉ, blaring out over a pub full of excited patrons gripping their pints, often in warm weather.

A thought for RTÉ and their barter accounts. A thought for Diageo, whose operating profit grew 15.2% to €3.7 billion, according to their most recent interim results report in January. A bone or three for poor Cerberus. They are doing their best.

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    Mute Christine Paulette Roche
    Favourite Christine Paulette Roche
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    Jul 29th 2017, 8:03 AM

    Heartbreaking, may he rest in peace.

    200
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    Mute Charles Williams
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    Jul 29th 2017, 9:35 AM

    @Christine Paulette Roche: Yes his suffering is now over thankfully. The bigger story here is 7000 children are dying every single day from hunger but it’s met with a defending silence, no Pope, no US President seem to notice, care of comment and the media, not interested. So it’s amazing how one child with little chance of survival could solicit such support while the other 7000 others who could survive were ignored.

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    Mute joanne murphy
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    Jul 29th 2017, 10:27 AM

    @Charles Williams: oh be quite, this is about one little boy. Not a political / social statement. Sleep tight little Charlie xx

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    Mute sue
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    Jul 29th 2017, 10:45 AM

    @Charles Williams: not the time or place Charles

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    Mute Ryan Carroll
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    Jul 29th 2017, 11:23 AM

    I think we should let the Charlie story rest now, there is something that just does not sit right in me debating it anymore, it feels wrong. The childs health is no longer something that can be affected by the debate so it would just become a cheap ego contest over who was “right” when really this was not about who gets proven right or wrong.

    It is however appropriate to call out the hypocrisy of many of those, especially in the US, who complained about “socialized healthcare” not keeping him alive when they have the only developed country where you can go bankrupt from medical expenses. Thanks to McCain it won’t happen but they were 1-2 votes away from 32million people loosing their health insurance and it was calculated to cause thousands of deaths, including kids.

    30
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    Mute gerry fallon
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    Jul 29th 2017, 8:10 AM

    There really are no words fitting.
    That poor couple will take a long time to get over Charlie’s death.Its time now to leave them to grieve in their privacy.I hope the Journal and other media just move on now.

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    Mute Frank Dubogovik
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    Jul 29th 2017, 8:26 AM

    For such a short life there was so much love packed into it….rest now little fighter.
    R.I.P.

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    Mute Margaret Henry
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    Jul 29th 2017, 8:37 AM

    Their real journey starts now . Thank God little Charlie is at peace and no longer suffering . RIP

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    Mute DaisyChainsaw
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    Jul 29th 2017, 11:22 AM

    @Margaret Henry: Sure it was god’s will that he suffer in the first place.

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    Mute JeanieD
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    Jul 29th 2017, 11:48 AM

    @DaisyChainsaw: Troll sick one at that.
    RIP little boy and may your grieving parents find comfort and solace in the knowledge that so many people truly cared.

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    Mute DaisyChainsaw
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    Jul 29th 2017, 12:38 PM

    @JeanieD: What’s trolling about it? If god is going to be thanked for relieving Charlie of his suffering, then he has to be blamed for giving Charlie the fatal disease to suffer in the first place.

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    Mute Catherine Sims
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    Jul 29th 2017, 12:57 PM

    @DaisyChainsaw: Let it go. If you understood the Theology around suffering you would know that what you say is not the case. Regardless let people express their condolences in the manner that they see fit. If religion brings them solace it’s no skin off your nose. The one thing I do know that it’s not possible to expect tolerance if your give it. I’m not religious but I’ve made an effort to try to understand where they are coming from. The baby has died and it’s time to move on.

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    Mute Catherine Sims
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    Jul 29th 2017, 12:58 PM

    @Catherine Sims: * if you don’t give it* that should have read.

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    Mute Liam Whelan
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    Jul 29th 2017, 1:24 PM

    @Margaret Henry: This god you speak of, if you thank him for letting Charlie be at peace now then who do you fault for him having this disease in the first place? It certainly wasn’t the parents who placed this disease upon him so does your god take full responsibility for it? And if so can he tell you as to why he done it? Because I would love to know why any “all loving” person can do things like this to innocent children day in day out. I think you know what you can do with your “thank god”.

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    Mute Margaret Henry
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    Jul 30th 2017, 1:12 AM

    @Liam Whelan:

    I lost a young child myself Liam Whelan . So I think I’m qualified to speak on this . When I said Thank God his suffering is over I meant just that .

    If you have watched your young child suffer in pain for months through operations and treatments you would thank God when it finally means they are no longer suffering even when that means they are no longer with you

    its not about you in all this it’s about your child who is suffering

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    Mute Celtic_Horizon
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    Jul 29th 2017, 8:31 AM

    RIP

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    Mute Tony
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    Jul 29th 2017, 9:43 AM

    Look after your parents now Charlie. Rest little one.

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    Mute Louise Dunne
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    Jul 29th 2017, 10:37 PM

    R.I.P. gorgeous little boy. Beautiful photo to treasure forever.
    That picture of him smiling up at his dad is haunting, i can’t equate that with all I’ve read about his condition. looking at that picture no wonder they were keen to try various treatments.

    9
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