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Surrealing in the Years A modest proposal for a Donegal-Dublin Bay South constituency

More TDs! More TDs! More TDs!

WHAT WAS THE most exciting thing to happen to you this week? It’s a silly question, because we’ve obviously all got the same answer. It was, of course, the Electoral Commission’s publication of their Constituency Review 2023

Across the land we stockpiled fireworks, got the beers in, sent the children to their grandparents. Days like this don’t come along very often. 

Politicos have spent the week speculating as to how the redistricting will impact the hopes of prospective TDs at the next election, but for many others, the fun comes from imagining a world of new possibilities. A world where we could conceivably have 250 TDs. A world where Tipperary can be split in half by the stroke of a pen. A world in which it is all of a sudden incredibly important to be popular in Arklow and Gorey.

County lines define most important source of identity in the psyche of each Irish person, but this week the oldest GAA club in Kilkenny was transferred (after many sleepless nights apparently) out of the county for electoral purposes. That’s to say nothing of the people in Terenure who will now share TDs with the people of Tallaght, like a subplot in a Ross O’Carroll Kelly novel. Essentially, the occasional constituency review reminds us that things we think are set in stone are actually a tad more gelatinous. 

My own idea for how to improve Ireland’s electoral system is what some would charitably call ambitious. Others might call it diabolical. Insane. Crazy. But so crazy it just might work.

I think what we should do is instead of pairing constituencies by geographical proximity, each constituency should involve a twinning of two areas at random – thereby forcing all TDs to focus on things other than parish pump parochialism. Instead of Sligo-Leitrim, we would have Sligo-North Kerry. Instead of Wicklow-Wexford, it would be Wicklow-Limerick City. Donegal-Dublin Bay South. All TDs would have to concern themselves with the priorities of Irish people miles away, thereby pulling more focus to matters of national interest.

Are there problems with this method? I suspect so. Should anyone listen to me when it comes to the shape of Ireland’s democracy? Perhaps not. But it’s all part of the excitement of Constituency Review week. Lose the run of yourself a little. Be the change you want to see in PR-STV. 

In sporting news, this week has seen a reboot in one of our favourite genres, that is the World Cup scandal. Vera Pauw’s tenure as Ireland manager is officially over after a spell as Ireland manager that has yielded exceptional results on the field of play.

Off the field of play, it appears that the relationship had broken down between Pauw and the players, as well as Pauw and the FAI. In a statement following her sacking, Pauw said: “Trust broke down between me and certain people in the FAI. I believe that the review process which the Association has carried out was flawed and that the outcome was pre-determined.”

Pauw also spoke of the FAI having conversations with staff and players that undermined her position, but said the details of this undermining was “perhaps for another day”. It seems undoubtable that we will indeed get into some other day, and that the saga will likely eventually be fodder for an RTÉ documentary – though we may never know, seeing as this week RTÉ decided not to do an official season launch, which is sort of akin to not showing up to work anymore because you embarrassed yourself at the Christmas party.

Either way, it’s a case we can look forward to relitigating if results begin to go awry once the Nation’s League kicks off later this month — and even if they don’t go awry then, we can look forward to relitigating it whenever they do. It’s not quite Saipan, but it’s good to know that we can still pull drama from the jaws of stability whenever we need to.

Unfortunately, much Irish news over the past seven days has been desperately sad. Two separate car crashes in Tipperary claimed four and three lives, respectively. The first crash, in Clonmel, claimed the life of four young people on the way to celebrate receiving their Leaving Cert results. The second, in Cashel, two grandparents and their young grandson.

In Laois, a three-year-old girl was killed when knocked down by a car. On Thursday night, a man died in Dublin after being hit by a bus.

Road deaths are up 25% on the same time last year, which is a pretty staggering increase. It’s also a 45.8% increase on 2019 figures, with 39 more deaths than the equivalent time period for that year. 

When beset by such tragedy, it is impossible to avoid asking questions of whether there is some structural fault in our society that is facilitating such awful outcomes. We do not have a definitive answer, of course. If we did then these things wouldn’t happen anymore.

Road safety is one of those strange things that we are all directly and collectively responsible for whenever we are behind the wheel. As with public health, it is also true that it is an area where, in the name of convenience, a certain level of tragedy is expected, if not tacitly accepted. This week will have tested the boundaries of that acceptance. 

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24 Comments
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    Mute Joe Mahon
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    Jan 10th 2014, 7:58 AM

    Stand by for tons of comments from smug, self important atheists ridiculing the Filipinos.

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    Mute The Doctor
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    Jan 10th 2014, 8:23 AM

    Stand by for the inevitable smug comment slamming the atheists comments.

    So bloody predictable.

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    Mute Antonov Merinov
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    Jan 10th 2014, 8:46 AM

    You just got to see the comical side of millions of people running after a piece if wood in excessive temperatures.
    Whatever turns you on.

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    Mute Fozz
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    Jan 10th 2014, 9:14 AM

    @Joe, the reason they seem ‘smug’ is because all the evidence is on their side.
    It’s the same way a physicist feels ‘smug’ about some mathematical equations to send a ship to the moon…because they firmly believe the facts are with them.
    Of course, they could just launch a rocket and pray….

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    Mute J. Dunn
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    Jan 10th 2014, 9:20 AM

    Or, the billions of people chasing after paper.

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    Mute Tom Newnewman
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    Jan 10th 2014, 9:22 AM

    Queuing to see Michael Jackson relics at Newbridge Silverware good queuing to see Catholic relic ………..

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    Mute Alan R
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    Jan 10th 2014, 10:36 AM

    I bet you guys called Copernicus and Gallillio Gallilei smug too just because they had a problem with believing stuff without any evidence whatsoever.

    I guess, when you have little hope to address the core of the argument with coherent points, you’re left with name calling.

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    Mute Timothy Bryce
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    Jan 10th 2014, 12:26 PM

    Black Friday?

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    Mute Ru Ni Digs
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    Jan 10th 2014, 1:12 PM

    Ah Joe,I see what you tried to do there,with your attempt to incorporate subtle racial connotations,which in fact proves you know little or nothing about atheism.

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    Mute sean t bugger
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    Jan 10th 2014, 8:32 AM

    Superstition. Hope one day they have the education to see through it

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    Mute Keith Wizzy
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    Jan 10th 2014, 11:48 AM

    I feel sorry for these people and how they have been colonised and continue to be exploited by westerners. A pushed belief in a better afterlife is a great way of keeping the indentured slaves happy.

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    Mute The David Irving
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    Jan 10th 2014, 8:19 AM

    Rip Jesus xx

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    Mute Graham Cowley
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    Jan 10th 2014, 8:28 AM

    @Joe, why is an atheist seen as smug, or self important? When you have millions of people scrambling to touch a wooden statue thinking it has powers it questions many things, doesn’t the bible mention not to worship false idols, and since the main population changed to Catholicism 400 years ago, did the previous religion not work?
    Faith is seen as a virtue, but I won’t apologise for looking for fact, if you see that as smug then so be it. I am not laughing at those people but sad to see that many believe is superstition in the age we live in.

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    Mute The David Irving
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    Jan 10th 2014, 8:33 AM

    Because of Eamon Gilmore he ruined it for all atheists

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    Mute Anne Roberts
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    Jan 10th 2014, 12:33 PM

    Could not agree more, Graham

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    Mute robby rottenest
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    Jan 10th 2014, 8:56 AM

    ‘Scenes reminiscent of a rock concert mosh pit’. I was at a jesus and mary chain gig at the national, kilburn. It got so rough and abusive at the front they left the stage for their own safety! Music eventually broke out but we continued to smash the shit out of each other.
    Now that’s where I found religion.
    Halcyon days…..

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    Mute Arbuthnot Fink
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    Jan 10th 2014, 12:09 PM

    Science, b!tches!

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    Mute Alien8
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    Jan 10th 2014, 8:27 AM

    Thoughts and, er, prayers to his family at this tough time. Xx.

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    Mute Leon Taylor
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    Jan 10th 2014, 9:12 AM

    Sure they’re only having the craic nothing to see here at all.

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    Mute Rebecca eaton
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    Jan 10th 2014, 5:57 PM

    All I am thinking about is oh my goodness all them people and I for one could not be there crowds like that no thank you just looking at them gives me a panic attack. As for what anyone believes in it’s down to them I am not judging anyone.

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