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HEALING A BROKEN heart has no definitive timescale. It takes as long as it takes, but the key is to not dwell in misery.
There is a time to process, but try to prevent that time becoming so long that years begin to stack up. I say this because a broken heart can define us if we allow it. We can take on the mentality that we are rejected goods for whatever reason, and live our lives in that mindset.
Rejection by someone does not make you a reject, it just means you weren’t for them. The reason a heartbreak hurts so much is because the rejection is coming from someone we love.
But it is also the disappointment that the dream and plans that we had with that person are all gone into oblivion. It hurts to be hurt. I have here nine keys to help you heal from a broken heart when you feel the time is right and you are ready.
Make the decision that it is time to let them go. If you are still connected to them due to co-parenting, or you see them at work, or they live near you, it is still time to let them go. We are the ones that hold onto them mentally and emotionally, and it doesn’t just stop. It is not easy considering this person was your partner, lover and friend who knew everything about you.
But you need to decide to remove them from this position in your life. They may have a part of your life still, but they are not defining of your future life. Let them go because that is best for you and them. As long as you are holding them in an important place in your life, they may influence it and prevent you from moving on.
Remove any photos of you together that might be hanging in your room or house. These can act like subconscious triggers. If there are kids involved, you can possibly put the photos in their rooms, but take them out of prominent positions of eye contact for you and visitors to the house. These images don’t help you move on.
They stay as a potential reminder of pain and old memories can subconsciously keep you repeating the story that this happiness is gone. Images of you together online should be hidden so that you don’t see them without choosing to. I once had a client who felt he was over his break up but kept feeling sad when he sat in his living room. It turned out there was a photo of his ex on the wall that he had forgotten about. When he removed the photo, the negative feelings in that room went away over time. Don’t underestimate your subconscious.
The social media connections have to be cut. It might be hard to see what the harm is if you are friends online, but the problem is that you are now in each other’s business. When he or she adds a new friend, shares a photo or video, next thing you know you’ve
spent hours wondering who that person in the photo is. You need to cut ties, otherwise you will get caught on the occasional stalking mission.
Trust me, I know it sounds hard, it is hard, you will move on faster when you see their face less. If you have kids together and must be online friends for practical reasons, then mute their posts. But make sure they don’t have a way to watch your life online. They are your child’s parent and not your partner.
If you cross paths with them often or have friends in common, you may not want boundaries. But in order to heal, you have to put them in place. Boundaries have proven to be the universal tip for co-parenting couples or former couples who still come into contact, for whatever reason.
Boundaries include decisions to exert self-control when you see them – for example, keeping things civil but not engaging in full-on conversations about how they are and what they’ve been up to.
If you work together, don’t be having lunch together, and if conversations arise, keep them short but not inquisitive. I know you want to know what they are up to but trust me, this is only torturing yourself. If you are in a co-parenting situation, there has to be an agreement to talk only about the kids and if texts or calls are made, they are purely about the children. If boundaries aren’t in place, problems arise when one of the parents wants to ask questions about the other’s personal life, like ‘Who was that parked outside the other day?’ or ‘Are you seeing someone?’
It’s easiest to put boundaries in place from the start in order to prevent such awkward conversations. It also stops you asking about their lives, which would in fact prevent you from moving on. Sometimes moving job or house is necessary if you cross paths a lot. A change in location can help you heal and move on.
Self-blame is sometimes a real struggle for some. We pick our personal poison, which we consume by the bucket. We default to ‘it’s me, not them’. If you have been rejected or abused in your younger years, you can now feel that this is the same old story repeating itself, rejected again.
You may wonder what is wrong with you. You weren’t the one for them and that is sometimes how cruel life can be. But it doesn’t mean that you are damaged goods.
They didn’t see the amazing human being you are, and that’s okay. It doesn’t change anything about your future, except the fact they are the one you won’t be spending it with. Remind yourself that no relationship is perfect, so stop remembering it like it was. You are painting an untrue picture of what you had, giving it a meaning that might not be accurate.
When you are triggered, you need to have a ‘go-to’ plan ready and loaded. Have an intentional thing you will do in the event of being triggered so you are prepared. For example, a woman I coached would always think of her ex at lunchtime, because they always had lunch together as their offices were beside each other. This was actually how they met.
So when it was close to one o’clock she would always be triggered by a thought of him. We created a ‘go to’ by setting an alarm for 12:55 p.m. so that she could call a colleague or friend for a chat. Or she would invite one of her colleagues for lunch.
This new habit broke the cycle and after a long period of time it became her new habit. She didn’t even realise she had forgotten about her ex at lunch till I asked her months later.
Social support has proven to be vital in recovering from heartbreak. Having someone we can simply vent to is crucial. It may be a friend, family member, life coach or therapist.
But having someone you can confide in is so important and proven to help
you heal. Talking is therapy.
Keeping a simple routine is paramount. Go easy on yourself and don’t overwhelm yourself with distractions. But keep getting up and going about your day even when you don’t feel like it.
Cultivate a routine that helps you to take the space and time out for yourself when you just need to have a good cry.
This doesn’t mean allowing yourself to stay in bed all day – when we stay in bed, our pain gets worse as heartbreak becomes all we can think about; it consumes us. Keep a simple routine of getting up and getting out. Go walking, to the gym, or for coffee with friends. Try to avoid the temptation to just stop everything.
This is sometimes needed in two directions: forgiving yourself and forgiving them. Sometimes this is thought of as letting the person off the hook. There is some truth to that, but the greater truth about forgiveness is that it doesn’t mean that the other person has been let away with what they did; it just means that you aren’t holding onto what they did to you anymore. This allows you to move on. You need to forgive yourself for the times you put yourself down, blamed yourself and you told yourself you are no good.
Forgive yourself for treating yourself like that. Forgive yourself for being in a relationship that didn’t work out and for any feelings of letting your family or kids down. Forgiveness is very tough to do, especially when you are on the receiving end of the pain and feel you did nothing wrong. But there also comes a time when we blame ourselves, and to move on from that we must forgive ourselves. I’ll elaborate on forgiveness in chapter 13 and explain why forgiveness is massive in healing.
Like all forms of stuck, we must ask ourselves what is on the other side of being relationally stuck. When it comes to a new relationship, start visualising the life you want. Pretend if you must that you are a blank canvas, with no baggage, past pain or heartbreak.
With that mindset, figure out what you want and why. This is what you get to work on visualising for yourself. Acknowledge that you may have come through a storm and you don’t feel like loving again, but that the long-term view of your life tells a different story.
It says that although you feel stuck and hurt now, how would you feel in five or even ten years’ time if you did nothing? It is with that state of mind you get to work – for the sake of your future self.
Mark Fennell is a high-performance life coach and mentor with a 20-year track record, renowned for his deep understanding of the human mind, psychology and performance. He has worked with many global corporations, individuals and teams. He appears regularly on the BBC, RTÉ, Virgin Media, Newstalk and other major TV and radio networks. His new book, Break Through is out now. More at MarkFennell.ie.
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On about Human Rights and he is asking for his Religious beliefs to be able to tell others what to do. Get lost you hypocritical clown.
Exactly. Who does he think he is telling people its wrong to murder innocent helpless babies.the bloody cheek!
So Paul – you don’t trust women?
No I don’t trust all women to make the right decision
Paul – have you got any more links from such an independent and credible source?
Let’s start another even minded debate so.
Merle a distraction from FG issues in banking
Senator Jim Walsh formerly of Fíanna Fáil and Senator Máiría Cahill , formerly a Dissident of RNU , now Labour – both lecturing each other and Us – that’s some laugh !
Is this guy for real? He says “there probably hasn’t been a time when we’e seen such breaches of human rights across the globe”. Has he never heard of the actual holocaust? Between 1914 and 1945 6 million people were murdered in Germany, 70 million were starved to death by Mao in China, 9 million died in the Russian civil war, 1 million in the Armenian genocide, WW I 15 million soldiers and 13 million civilians, 20 million under Stalin, 66 million with 45 million civilian deaths during WW II, 6 million under Japan. I think those numbers were far more than now. Does he think people will fall for his dimwitted arguments?
On a side note, no national broadcaster paid for by the people means all the information we are fed is put out by vested business interests, no transparency. In Italy Berlusconi was elected largely because of the amount of media outlets he owns. Imagine if we only had news networks like the US? Getting your news from Fox. We’d be facing a lot more problems. Sole private ownership of news is a very very dangerous thing.
Level headed even…..
This is the same muppet who prompted the headline at the bottom of this article. The only person who takes him seriously is himself.
Hopefully there will be a great clearing out of wasters and idiots come the next Seanad elections in the Spring.
Comical Eddie at it again.
Complains about others trying to make political capital out of serious issues, but only when it reflects poorly on SF.
Keep it up Comical. You’re a great little foot soldier.
I love that he sees no irony in saying that working at rte requires little qualifications and is an overpaid position…
The senator finds using the word holocaust as horrific but the murder of a police officer in the north of Ireland well that’s a different matter
Hear,Hear ,about time the right of the UNborn be heard ,after all we were ALL in the same position ourselves .NO TO ABORTION
Eddie SF and the high moral ground, how laughable, the way senators walsh and mullen behaved belong to another generation and the joke is that while walsh berates Daesh, he is as much a fundamentalist as they are, there lies the irony, by the way i’m sure he is an honourable man but some a lot of his ideology belongs to the medieval age.
Brandy – you’re trying to paint this as a black and white issue. It’s anything but that, it’s complex and nuanced.
If you need it simplified though just ask yourself
-
1. Do you trust women?
2. Given that abortions will continue to happen, are you ok with exporting the ‘problem’ to neighbouring countries?
Moron.
Brandy, try focussing your energies on all the BORN children suffering poverty, homelessness and starvation in this country. Or are you just an armchair social hero? Once they’re born you don’t give a $hit, they’re someone else’s problem?
According to WHO, every year in the world there are an estimated 40-50 million abortions. This corresponds to approximately 125,000 abortions per day.
125,000 a day.
Think about that for a minute before using other statistics about other evils.
Every one you describe is true – there’s no disagreement. But using those stats doesn’t make the abortion holocaust any better.
40-50m abortions.
125k a day.
We say nothing but feel ok talking about Stalin or Mao?
So because of one eejit presenter we should scrap a RTE? We should have certainly scrapped the Senate and not just beacuse of you Mr Walsh!
We could do a 3 for 2 and scrap Irish Waster (sorry typo) as well
The mind boggles, at least, lately Rte has been making some revelations in the public good. Imagine the skullduggery overdrive without it.
That probably why he wants rte disbanded
Who is this idiot Senator ? Who elected him ? It’s the Senator who is the problem, needs reform.
How dare they allow in a senator who had a different view than the other ones!
@Martin: The Agricultural Panel elected him. So basically the members of :
Agricultural Science Association
Central Fisheries Board
Dairy Executives’ Association
Irish Thoroughbred Breeders’ Association
Irish Co-Operative Organisation Society
Irish Grain and Feed Association
Irish Greyhound Owners and Breeders Federation
Munster Agricultural Society Company Ltd
National Association of Regional Game Councils
National Executive of the Irish live Stock Trade
Royal Dublin Society (RDS)
A load of organisations most of us have never heard of them. They really take a long hard look at themselves.
Ladies and Gentlemen I give you…………..FINNA FAIL!
FIANNA failure to spell on my behalf
It’s ok to comment on this story, but not on this “serious irregularities occurred” around a meeting involving Alan Kelly and another Labour TD.” Hmmm….
Keep calm and carry on corruptly. Seems to be the governments response to everything
Do you think the media get everything tax free for nothing? The dog on street knew this about kelly . This is a clown that said he wanted to spray slurry over protesters, set up a false bomb threat, do you actually think people would be allowed to walk past a building with a bomb in it and neither himself or his wife left the building.
It’s funny he went on about dealing with people on twitter when some asked him what his brother does for a living. If someone else made that comment it would be considered a death threat.
Of the Kelly meeting with prospective bidders:
No minutes were taken, according to Phelan, because the meeting was “of brief duration.”
Lol.
Repeal The Eight or RTE for short.
You’ve just unlocked a great conspiracy theory there! Repeal The Eight (RTÉ) the Ionanists will have a field day, hysterically screaming and shouting and as usual never answering questions.
Repeal the 34th more like!
Perhaps we should reduce the number of senators that promote right wing view points that are only supported by dinosaurs & save us all some money.
I second that but my comment was deleted ;)
Perhaps dinosaurs are extinct because they aborted their offspring.
Clearly not extinct with views like that
Are you against opposing views Gavin ? , should we all re-educate ourselves in the left wing “there’s only here & now” policies of feck the next generation because …EQUALITY & RIGHTS , of which there can never be a universal level playing field.
Marion – that is perhaps the most intellectually redundant post I have read on the Journal and that is saying something. Will you now become a self proclaimed dinosaur rights activist?
The Christian Right wing lobby in this country are becoming increasingly fascistic.
I don’t use the word fascistic lightly but wanting to dismantle the media to suit your agenda certainly is the approach of a fascist
I suppose we can expect more of this as their insidious grip on society is loosened and we move towards the separation of church and state
Bravo! Nice to se the truth spoken.
I’d rather see christian terrorist supporting pro-life groups like Iona disbanded and outlawed. Where was Iona’s statement condemning terrorist Robert John Dear’s pro-life murder spree?
Great to see there’s a few politicians willing to defend the right to life of the unborn with such vigour and passion. Lucinda and her cronies in Renua should take a few notes.
Careful now Paddy or a swarm of SJWs will attack.
The senator is entitled to his opinion. And in this instance i agree with his sentiment.
Ah paddy you still have the angelus, chill nobody is aborting Opus Dei
if your mother had decided to abort you Nor_Rod_ten would have been her body her decision, cause heaven forbid your father should have a say in it, its legalized murder. (im an atheist)
“Bravo! Nice to se the truth spoken.” – Paddy Scully (spokesperson for a religion based on a book of bronze age folklore and falsehoods)
Ive been aborted so I can’t answer that sorry, I think you need to understand at what point a foetus becomes a person after doing that please come back and discuss it with the grown ups.
@ not rod ten – until the 1870s the catholic church did not consider a foetus a person until the time of ensoulment (roughly the 3rd trimester)
For Connolly the Sinn Fein supporter lambasting religion something your partys history is intertwined with.
I had a w@nk earlier, am I a murderer.?
Not_Rod_Ten© please enlighten me, at what point does a fetus become a person. I am all ears.
Typical that you attack me instead of the argument.
Rod
” I think you need to understand at what point a foetus becomes a person after doing that please come back and discuss it with the grown ups.”
Enlighten me as to what point along the spectrum of a pregnancy a person come into being then.
And seeing as you’re insisting you yourself are a grown up, why not prove it with a grown up answer.
I’d rather see christianity outlaw in total, a sick sick philosophy.
@Joe according to religion you are
All we need is Kilduff along to praise this hateful bigot now and we have the full collection. You lot are disgusting and should be ashamed of yourselves. Grow up FFS. It’s 2015
The foetus becomes a person when it is delivered and is capable of independent existence . Same for Embryos and blastocysts in freezers all over the world .
A child would have to be about 5 years old before he/she is capable of independent existence
So where did the evidence emerge in ref to Rober John Dear shootings to do with pro-life because the police force US still haven’t found it. Rather odd to accuse pro-lifers when the first person to be shot was co-pastor anti-abortionist Officer Garrett Swasey. Oops! the only defence pro-aborts have is using false names & making false allegations not evidence. https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/acts-of-faith/wp/2015/11/28/officer-garrett-swasey-who-died-in-colo-planned-parenthood-shooting-was-a-co-pastor-skating-champion/
No such thing as a christians terrorist , think about it , Jesus tells us to love and forgive those who persecute us , so technically a real Christian would never be a terrorist , where a real Muslim would be a terrorist . Anyone Christians who use violence in the name of god are not real Christian
Marion – perhaps if you used an article more recent than November 28 you might learn more. Why are you so disingenuous it is just embarrassing. Here, these may help you:
http://edition.cnn.com/2015/12/09/us/colorado-planned-parenthood-shooting/
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/10/us/colorado-planned-parenthood-shooting.html?_r=0
Yes, newborns are of course well known for their ability to exist independently. One next door to me got a paper round when it was 3 weeks old.
cool so when can we start aborting 4 year olds?
Walsh is disgusting. Hates gays, hates women, hates people who aren’t right-wing God-botherers.
The same five or six gas-bags will be spouting the same rubbish they did during the marriage referendum, and they will lose.
We are a compassionate nation and the majority will trust women with this decision and see that it is morally wrong to expect those with FFA to have to travel to Liverpool, for example.
Hey Hans .. in modern Ireland a child would have to be about 25 before they are capable of independent living..
Paul – how is the weather in the US at the moment? I do love these fake profiles from Americans trying to interfere in Irish matters. Sligo you say? Supporter of Raymond Arroyo and posts articles from large US Pro Life site, which supports the murderer Robert Dear, stay classy Paul, but please keep your nose out of Irish matters.
Dunno about US but weather in enniscrone in Sligo is crap.also that site did not support Robert dear.by the way abortion isn’t only an Irish matter,its a global matter.is this murder of unborn babies really worthy of your support?reading your comments I can tell you’re an intelligent man,I’m sure you could use that for better causes.
Paul – scroll down on that article and you will see the excuses made for the Dear shootings.
Well Paul anyone who would condone the murder of anyone has serious issues. I am not trying to offend you or for my opinion on you but surely you can see that abortion is killing unborn babies. They are not clumps of cells as some would have you believe.
If you are not trying to offed Paul please stop posting multiple links, you may ha e noticed from there reads it is not helping you. You may also wish to co spider the credibility of such a link.
I have a better reason to boycott the licence fee… because I don’t watch the garbage that is RTE.
Okay, I voted to retain the Senate because I really do believe we need two Houses but I was hoping it would be reformed as an elected chamber, not a dumping ground for unelectable politicians!
This guy is entitled to his opinion, I personally think his opinion is stupid but that’s my perogative.
So we have an unelected politican calling for the dismantling of a media organisation because it doesn’t reflect his opinions?
It is BEYOND time to reform the Seanad.
He is of the opinion that RTÉ is campaigning against human rights – which would be ample reason to close them down if it becomes more than an opinion, if it is established by the courts to be a fact.
Senator Walsh spot on as usual. The agenda pedaling out of RTE is disgraceful, if it’s not Brendan O’Connor pushing gay marriage it’s Ray D’Arcey pushing abortion.
All things not actually concerning you.
Another lunch break is it Veronica or are you skiving now?
Abortion concerns all of us. women and MEN.
Do you have ANY idea what women go through when pregnant? The pregnancy could endanger both the baby and the mother and you think that abortion shouldn’t be allowed? What happened if a woman got raped and she didn’t want to have the baby? Would you still say that she has to have the baby and be reminded of the horrors she went through??
zzzz i have 3 kids. I watcher them grow right through the pregnancy, 12 weeks scan, 20 weeks scan they are fully formed, one of the kids had complications and we were worried, but never entered our minds to abort the child. Who would you put first if you had children YOURSELF or the child?
From wikipedia
In 2004, there were 185,415 abortions in England and Wales. 87% of abortions were performed at 12 weeks or less and 1.6% (or 2,914 abortions) occurred after 20 weeks. Abortion is free to residents,[52] 82% of abortions were carried out by the National Health Service.[55]
so you trying to tell me in one year there were over 180k rapes/fetal abnormalities?
Its a complicated issue, and I am liberal on almost everything, but not this. Its not cut and dry.
Are you concerned that a terminated pregnancy might have resulted in a man? Is that where the horror for all of this comes into play for you? You don’t seem to care about women that are already born, is it the chance a foetus has of being born male that has you so angry about women trying to gain control over their reproduction?
I have a different opinion than you, im not going to get hysterical about it.
You didnt even read what i said and instead immediately started labeling me a misogynist, which is so far from the truth its ridiculous.
You have full control over your body, you can eat sleep and poo when ever you like. This is more complicated than that, this involves the life of another. So please keep you simplistic arguments to yourself.
I’m sorry, but watching your partner go through pregnancy is not vaguely the same as going through it yourself. Only someone who has never been pregnant themselves would think it is. Being a partner does involve a lot of stress and worry and I’m sure you supported your wife but your life was never in danger, you did not face the irreversible physical changes in your body, or the hormonal or psychological changes involved in being pregnant. You were an observer or at best a sideline supporter. I don’t say that to diminish your support during that time or your experience, but to try to make you see it is not the same as BEING pregnant. I doubt you will understand, but there it is.
Edward that’s what these proi-choicers do. They try to label you a misogynist as they have no moral argument. At the end of the day they want the right to kill their own off-spring without question or judgement.
Ruth what about the child, the unborn child is killed that is what abortion is, murder.
In a time of contraception’s that are available etc. All I see on those pro abortion marches are teenage girls holding up signs with written on them how unprotected sex is fun or their right and that their bodies are theirs but if they do not or want safe sex then they should be having sex.
The last pro abortion rally in Dublin had a sign that stated that abortion was “FUNdamental”, anyone who thinks abortion is FUN… has a screw loose…
http://www.dailyedge.ie/pro-choice-2353362-Sep2015/
Number 5 as an example of another one…
“Brendan O’Connor pushing gay marriage”
No he isn’t, Oisin. Don’t be stupid!!
“teenage girls holding up signs with written on them how unprotected sex is fun”
Where did you see this, Michael? It seems like you didn’t even read what you linked.
The entire phrase on the posters is “Girls just wanna have fundamental human rights”. Those signs are clearly a play on the song/phrase – “Girls just wanna have fun”, I’m sure you’ve heard that before.
In fairness Ruth the woman would also have to live with the murder of her unborn child in the case of an on-demand abortion in the circumstance of rape. That’s something that I’m sure would haunt most people for the rest of their days. It’s a very difficult situation in fairness. How often does it occur I wonder, pregnancy following rape? Regardless, I have every sympathy for any woman in that position. Abortion IMO is required unfortunately in certain, very rare obviously, cases.
“so you trying to tell me in one year there were over 180k rapes/fetal abnormalities?”
I would say that tells you there was 180K women who for some reason or another wee not able/ ready to become mothers. The reason why is really nothing to do with you.
Well said Ruth, every situation is different. It’s these small minded idiots that have our beautiful country stuck in the dark ages!
Rapists are pro-choice, legal abortion assists them to cover-up sexual abuse. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2738957/Abuser-told-abort-baby-I-d-killed-I-fell-pregnant-let-More-100-teenage-girls-Rotherham-gave-birth-rapists-children.html
Kermit Gosnell is a male abortionist who is imprisoned for slitting born alive babies throats after performing abortions on them & causing women to hemorrhage to death.
Oisin – you’re so wrong it’s astounding! I mean everything you say is the opposite of true. Are you a parody account?
Marion – I think you’re just using an extremely rare and unlikely shock story as a way to invoke disgust.
Well it kinda worked – I’m disgusted by you.
*Do you have ANY idea what women go through when pregnant?*
I would imagine they “go through” what their bodies are biologically designed to go through as you put it.
http://www.dailyedge.ie/pro-choice-2353362-Sep2015/
Photos 5 and 6 are highlighted beyond normality in colour, font, size and are pointing to the fact that abortion is fun as FUNdamental is not fundamental due to the FUN being implied as something else as in FUN. I did not do up those posters as it was those who are pro abortion who did them. I just pointed out a fact about them, which for me shows who they really are as people…
Michael: Obviously not a Cyndi Lauper fan are ya?!!?
Who?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cyndi_Lauper
GOOD ONE…
the sign is based on one of her songs. A famous song of hers no less!
Didn’t think I had to spell that out for you.
You reading is “abortion is fun” is your own interpretation not shared by the majority of people who saw that picture or made that sign!!
That is not what I said but what those pro abortion photos of placards had written on them. I just highlighted the fact.
You interpreted it as they were saying abortion is fun.
“and are pointing to the fact that abortion is fun”
You interpreted incorrectly!
I am pointing to the fact that they are saying that abortion is fun, I find that a wee bit nasty.
He should be dismantled from the senate.. This guy is unreal!
I am not religious or conservative but abortion involves the killing of a human being at its most vulnerable to have amnesty campaigning to kill the unborn babies is crazy amnesty have lost all credibility. I can’t see how anyone supports abortion it’s the slaughter of the innocents,the unborn is not a clump of cells its a human being at its earliest stages
its not illegal to go to another country to “kill unborn babies” as you term it, so its a bit hypocritical to not allow people to abort less than 12 week old foetus’s here. Especially in the case of FFS and rape
Simple solution Benny. Don’t have an abortion if you don’t agree with it. But to say no one can have it because you don’t like it is a bit much. Most abortions take place very early in the pregnancy and are no different than the morning after pill. “Pro Life” groups like to make it seem like all pregnancies are a week before the baby is due. they also make it sound like there are millions of women out there purposely getting pregnant just so they can abort the fetus. Neither of these things are true. If they thought abortion in reality was so bad why do the exaggerate and lie about it??
FFS should not be used. Try disabled instead, its more accurate and less insulting.
I don;t like the man very much, but I can;t argue with the dismantling of RTE.
I would also encourage any pro-lifers to track down the interview Darcy did with the writer of Fr Ted and his wife a few weeks ago about abortion on RTE Radio 1. It was riddled in bias and pathetic. The guy is absolutely clueless.
The majority in this country appose abortion on demand by a large margin and they are completely silent on the airwaves. They don’t get airtime or representation. There seems to be this attitude that Iona are somehow representative of them and that’ll do them. It won’t.
You don’t get any airtime because it’s hard to understand people who foam at the mouth and are confused by their own thumbs.
Just as well they can and do vote so. And just as well 62% oppose abortion on demand.
All you need to vote is a pen, you don’t even need to be able to read, they even introduced pictures for the likes of you.
Not_Rod_Ten©,
That’s the comment of the week for me!
Well then you’re as puerile and thick as Rod Aisling. Rather than make a contribution to a comments section on an abortion article he acts like a 12 year old and thinks he’s great. He isn’t. He’s an idiot. And he still hasn’t made a point on this thread worth reading.
Neither have you Pepper with your biased spoutings
So if foetuses are unborn babies, then babies are ungrown adults and adults are undead corpses. Sensationalist terms may do well in tabloids but shouldn’t be used in the Seanad
I think you may be confusing Life with Death there Ross , there’s a big difference , no wonder most pro-baby killers can’t see the immorality of their actions. The unborn is as much alive as the adult , just not causing as much chaos & mayhem onto the world with their wants & their needs , they never asked to be conceived and I think it the height of injustice (you SJW types should hear that) to even argue for that baby’s death.
Human development from conception until death, I fail to see it any other way.
“The unborn is as much alive as the adult” right! Thats you considered total moron for a start.. ask the unborn to put the bins out in the morning, you plonker
@fern, firstly the unborn is dependent on its mother for life so its not alive in the same way as an independently alive being. If the host dies, the foetus dies.
Secondly, you missed my point on sensationalist language- any convenient term may be used if there’s a qualifier before it, but its still incorrect. Eg an unwealthy millionaire, an unintelligent genius, an unborn baby, etc, etc.
This Senator’s tirade goes to show the dangers of Traditionalist Catholic ideology. This is simply not needed in the Ireland of today. Is this typical of what a vote for any Renua candidate will bring in the future ? Ring Kissing notwithstanding the Holocaust the Catholic Church has wrought on our children when we as a people couldn’t or wouldn’t say or do anything about it.
So only traditional Catholics think it’s wrong to murder innocent babies?
The senators speech is akin to being incitement. Some of the comments on the thread are scurrilous.
I detest and abhor the use of inflammatory language equating I abortion to a holocaust. The senator should withdraw his remarks and himself from the debate as he obviously lack any sense of reason or logic.
In time there will be Gardens of Remembrance for these children and countries will pledge ‘Never Again’
On human rights day it deserves a mention.
It would be appropriate to commemorate those children who died in residential care rather than those who never existed as people. That’s what should never happen again. If you don’t agree with abortion simply don’t have one. Similarly if you disagree with divorce don’t get one.
It’s never a great idea to slag off and alienate the national media when you’re trying to push a national cause. He must have been out sick from senator school the day they were teaching that.
I’ve already been refusing to pay my tv licence…..
Toddle along there Jim ….. Toddle along..
Dead right.
I just think we should scrap RTE full stop.. Or at least let it self fund.. (I’m pro-choice by the way)
We need to oust all of these out dated, out of touch, publicly funded politicians.
Crap , Now I have to support RTE…. yuck…
Rte dosen,t give a shit it has the law on its side where the tv licence is conserned their Christmas schedule can tell u that.as a tv licence payer I wish we can sue them for throwing out the same rubbish year after year surly it can’t b legal to rob the Irish people for that kind of rubbish
Oh sit down and go back to taking up space mate, it’s all you’re good for
He should stay out of it. this a woman’s issue. And only women should vote in the next referendum.
Here is a word for word quote from a leaflet of the Coalition to Repeal the Eighth Amendment: “While we have used the term woman here, the Coalition to Repeal the Eighth Amendment recognises that NOT EVERYONE WHO MAY NEED AN ABORTION IS A WOMAN. We support access to abortion for everyone whether they be cis, trans or gender-fluid”.
You could take that argument to its logical conclusion and argue that only unborn children should be allowed to vote.
Here Here! RTE is a joke, biased in everything.
Licence in Slovakia is €5!
I hope that this might give pause to those who voted for the retention of the Seanad, despite what was staring them in the face.
Always have been and always will be pro-life, but this sort of language doesn’t further the cause one bit.
I think we should ban masturbation too. Just thinking of all the perspective kids I’ve killed makes me sick!!
Think of all the men and women in the world who may be cannibals !!! Spit or swallow has taken on whole new connotations.
Oh dear, someone flunked biology. You do realise sperm doesn’t go on to become a human being right?
An old man telling women what they can do with their own bodies, while in complete denial about the fact Ireland only exports our abortion demand to the UK.
#equality was short lived. Literally.
All the homeless would agree…
I would abolish RTE because of their slogan “RTE supporting the arts”.
I am legally required to pay my television license to listen to this nonsense.
Since when did the Irish people support the low IQ graduates from the arts department of UCD?
You can get an “arts degree” from an Irish university without ever having heard that the earth is round.
.
When your IQ is high enough to see that James Joyce was a con-man and a bullshitter.
Obviously I am a “philistine”.
RTE is just the spin doctor for the government, a fact that we tax payer pay for through the TV licence and what for, to see other channels programs on RTE and to be bombarded with adverts?
Human rights??? What about a womans rights to her own body!
What about the babies right to life?
Still attention seeking on the back of human tragedy. Shamefully so.
Who is this Muppet? I’m from Wexford and have never heard of him. Just goes to show how much of an impact this failed politician has had on national politics. G0bshite
How did a clown like that ever get to be a Senator?
Jims right, we need the Late Late Show, GAA, telly Bingo and thats it
There’s nothing like people being extreme
She is concerned about language used what about the crime of abortion Marie,you lost a lot of credability when you joined labour, now your losing more
His comments about ‘dismantling RTÉ’ are disproportionate to what actually occurred. Yes O’Gorman and even D’Arcy himself overstepped the boundaries laid down by the BAI in respect of impartiality and objectivity, but I seriously disagree that this ISOLATED incident would merit the dismantling of such a fundamental public service broadcaster. His comments on abortion aside, his overreaction to the comments made on the show clearly displays a lack of knowledge of the RTÉ’s importance in a democratic state. What an idiotic comment to make. But personally I believe that O’Gorman and D’Arcy were pushing a pro-abortion agenda with regards to ‘abortion on demand’ and these comments are unacceptable from a taxpayer’s point of view.
You can’t honestly say that it’s and isolated case!
Marion – so we must not allow abortions because it may assist child abusers? Let’s just ignore the needs of the child and make them have the baby of a rapist so the child can be DNA tested, which will assist a prosecution. Your logic is sinister and twisted, no police officer or social worker would support you, a self proclaimed human rights activist on this. Strangely, I don’t see you on the discussions where Catholic priests are the abusers, now why is that?
The man speaks the truth! Better than most of the fools in the Seanad *cough* David Norris *cough*
Fair play to him.one of the few brave enough to speak up!
He’s completely right too. On a day when we celebrate Human Rights, one of which is “the right to life”, it’s good to know there are people in public life who will stand up for the unborn.
What a complete and utter lunatic
While we’re on the subject of people being payed too much, let’s start with senators.
It’s a shame that the secular pro-life movement is being overshadowed by this clown’s remarks. Would love a genuine debate about abortion without religion being at the front and centre, as there a MANY people with pro-life beliefs who are on the same page as many pro-choice people in regards to religion – and that is that is has no place in a parliamentary or Seanad debate and also is irrelevant when discussing abortion. Secular pro-lifer here and proud of it.
Out of curiosity where do you stand on abortion in cases of rape or fatal foetal abnormality?
Would you allow in these cases?
Fatal foetal abnormalities and rape shouldn’t even be used in the same sentence. They are of a totally different nature and an answer of ‘yes’ or ‘no’ would be ridiculous. In cases of FFA, I don’t believe that a woman should carry her child to delivery as it is a cruel and unfortunate event, as the baby is predestined to die (over a 90% chance of the baby dying in the womb or within a short period after birth). In the event of a rape, aborting the foetus is no way effective in punishing another for a sexual crime. I don’t believe that sexual violence like rape is treated fairly in the courts due to a myriad of case law involving lenient sentencing. The rape occurred and won’t be undone by the illegitimate killing of a third party, that is the baby/child/ball of cells or whatever one would like to call it. Bacteria are balls of cells, as well as humans and trees. That does not mean that in the context of abortion we should refer to them as balls of cells for the purposes of allowing abortion. That is simply anti intellectual. Otherwise, if you got pregnant of your own volition and no problems occur like FFA or risk to the mother’s life, I would say that one should take personal responsibility in dealing with one’s pregnancy over aborting a perceived ‘inconvenience’ any day.
Hang on a second you think women seeking terminations after being raped are doing it just to get back at the rapist? I’ve heard it all now.
Senator Walsh is correct Hitler introduced the abortion holocaust into Poland March 1943. History just repeating itself. Ouch! Senator Cahill sorry the truth hurts. As Hitler once said “It’s not the truth that matters but victory”. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/poland/7354284/Hitler-abortion-poster-sparks-anger-in-Poland.html
Marion – you seem to mention Hitler a lot, but I suppose you should invoke the actions of other known Roman Catholics to further your cause and support your position.
Leaving aside for the moment the fact that you just shot your Godwin load.
Hitler actually banned abortion for German women.
He banned abortion. Something YOU support!
Itchy & Scratchy
What a silly question..
have your say