Advertisement

We need your help now

Support from readers like you keeps The Journal open.

You are visiting us because we have something you value. Independent, unbiased news that tells the truth. Advertising revenue goes some way to support our mission, but this year it has not been enough.

If you've seen value in our reporting, please contribute what you can, so we can continue to produce accurate and meaningful journalism. For everyone who needs it.

Shutterstock/Billion Photos

Parenting After years of hardship and sacrifice, we finally have a home of our own

Margaret Lynch shares her absolute relief at finally moving into that long-sought family home.

WE FINALLY DID it! After years of hard work and sacrifice, we bought our house. We are currently two months in, the constant twitch in my right eye has stopped, and we are able to take stock of a whirlwind few months.

There is so much conflicting information and advice out there, so I have put together a few points that I would have benefited from knowing beforehand.

The first step, and by far the most important one, is to not talk about it. At all. Fight the urge. Seriously, just keep it all to yourself until you have those keys in your hand. Don’t let anyone know that you are starting the process, because it will inevitably take much longer than you think it will, and in a year’s time, you will rather gouge your own eye out than tell another person that yet another month has passed with absolutely no progression.

And listen, it’s no coincidence that it’s the same first rule of Fight Club, the similarities between the two are actually endless. Both are built on fragile, empty systems of delusion and involve copious amounts of blood, sweat and tears.

If you do talk about it, you have only yourself to blame when someone who bought their house in the 80’s for a fiver tells you that ‘it’s about time’ or ‘we all had to do it’. You also open yourself up to well-wishers checking in on how the process is going. Terribly, it’s always going terribly, and you’d rather not talk about it, thanks.

Keep calm and carry on

Secondly, you have to find your zen. For the love of God, start your deep breathing techniques and learn how to float away to your happy place mid conversation. Being able to go on standby and letting information pass over your head is an art form and one that you are going to need. Don’t mind your mam saying that your neighbour’s friend’s ex-husband’s cat managed to swing a three bed on one salary. That’s none of your business, you are doing you. Zen.

The third step is getting your deposit together, but you are going to want to start this 10 years ago. Although this seems like the hardest part, if you started working full time around fourth class, you should have enough by your late 20’s. If you didn’t, I can’t help you. Honestly, you can’t just spend all of your Communion money on Freddo bars and then get annoyed at the government when you can’t buy a house.

If you didn’t save your Communion money, you have three options. You can go with ‘The Bank of Mam and Dad’, emigration, or moving back home while you save. We chose door number three, and moved back in with my parents; myself, my partner, our two kids and all seven of our pet rabbits (following an unfortunate gender misalignment from the pet shop).

twobunniesonthecouch Shutterstock / Rylen M Shutterstock / Rylen M / Rylen M

We saved for two years, and then the pandemic hit and slowed us another two. Three generations under one roof (five if you count the bunnies), and six people with one bathroom was never going to be easy but when you added in the deadly virus that swept across the world without any kind of end in sight, well, that was really where the wheels started to fall off.

We didn’t follow the first rule, so we had plenty of conversations with people who just could not comprehend why we took so long to buy a house? Why were we dragging our heels? Why didn’t we just go to the bank and tell them that we were going to move our savings to a different bank if they didn’t give us a mortgage right there and then? Why weren’t we out ‘knocking on doors’ and negotiating prices with vendors? Find your happy place and tune out.

Getting the right advice

Fourthly, find a good broker. We weren’t sure if we should use one or go directly to the bank, and we heard solid arguments for both options. Ultimately though, we weren’t a straightforward application as my partner is self-employed, and we didn’t know enough to wing it ourselves. We used Finance Solutions (this is not an ad), and they were available for all of our questions throughout the entire process. Their website is also very user friendly, and you can easily see what you have uploaded and what is outstanding.

The fifth step, and by far the scariest bit, is the bank. This is the part where your future is decided. If you can buy where you hope to, or nearby, or if you are going to have a five-hour commute to the life you have built. All in all, when it is broken down, it’s not as daunting as it seems. You just need to give the bank all of your payslips, bank statements, and entire financial history, along with all of your Revenue documents, verification letters from your employer, your first-born child and written transcripts from your first confession.

We found the broker enormously helpful here too because they were the go between with the bank. They simplified the questions for us and helped us provide answers.

You are accountable here for every financial decision you have ever made, and if you have any signs of recklessness, it will be used against you. This could be activity on an online gambling account, missing previous loan payments, or significantly over-lending money that you don’t have, to people unlikely to pay it back, resulting in the financial crash of 2009 (for which the people of Ireland are still bailing you out).

But I wouldn’t really advise bringing up the last one, as this is about your ability to pay back loans, not theirs.

The joys of buying

Once you get your approval, you can start actually looking at and viewing houses! A broker is great again here because some estate agents wanted to see the ‘Approval in Principle’ documents, which would show how much we had to bargain with, but a broker can guide you through that. 

This stage is really hard, because you plan out your entire future in these houses, but it’s gone sale agreed by the time you contact an agent. You have to play quick and fast with the bids, like whack a mole, except when you actually whack a mole you are going to spend all of your life and money there, forever. It’s great!

The final step is to make an offering to the Housing Gods, by setting fire to several hundred Euro in the front garden — and you’ll have plenty of time to do this because you can be months between sale agreed and receipt of keys, and the people on both sides who are responsible for processing forms and moving things along genuinely do not care if you live or die.

I’m only joking here, you don’t really have to set fire to the money, but you do have to organise a survey of the property and it has the same effect. Our survey was issue free, but after we signed the contracts we found a new water feature in the kitchen, courtesy of two leaking Velux windows that had ruined the floorboards and created damp in the walls. We also had to call an emergency plumber out for two different leaks in the first week and had to fix a broken downstairs window.

There’s a lot of pressure and a lot of work that takes a physical and mental toll. And because there are so many barriers, you aren’t any closer to the end goal until you have the keys in hand. It’s very tough to keep going. I don’t know why the process has to be so hard, but when you do finally come out the other side of it, and you will, the relief that it is over is unlike anything else.

You don’t have to negotiate, remind, check in, hurry along or curse the postman. It will end, you will get through it, things will settle down again, and when they do, you will be so grateful to yourself for going through all the hard work.

And you never, ever, ever have to do it again!

Margaret Lynch is a working mum of two in Kildare. 

Readers like you are keeping these stories free for everyone...
A mix of advertising and supporting contributions helps keep paywalls away from valuable information like this article. Over 5,000 readers like you have already stepped up and support us with a monthly payment or a once-off donation.

Close
26 Comments
This is YOUR comments community. Stay civil, stay constructive, stay on topic. Please familiarise yourself with our comments policy here before taking part.
Leave a Comment
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Paddy Short
    Favourite Paddy Short
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 8:28 PM

    If you are hoping to buy your first home you need to consider the pros and the cons of the EU Migration Pact. We have the option to opt out of this pact and apply our own asylum policies that suit our country. If we opt in we are at the mercy of the unknown EU agenda. Contact all TD’s and Senators and voice your opinion, the government is currently trying to force their preference through, without our consent, in the coming weeks.

    287
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute 9QRixo8H
    Favourite 9QRixo8H
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 8:38 PM

    Three IRISH teens took the life of an immigrant, thanks to your far-right rhetoric you are complicit in. His name is Josip Štrok. Where is the social media outrage? Silence.

    294
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Pat Hazzard
    Favourite Pat Hazzard
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 8:59 PM

    @Paddy Short: utter BS, usual lies and conspiracies from racists the low IQ sheep swallow.

    154
    See 2 more replies ▾
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Dave Murray
    Favourite Dave Murray
    Report
    Apr 28th 2024, 6:47 AM

    @Paddy Short:
    Are they “coming over here to take Air Jobs and Air Women” too, Paddy?

    37
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute alan wallace
    Favourite alan wallace
    Report
    Apr 28th 2024, 9:06 AM

    @9QRixo8H: Last week in Limerick, a Brazilian man was seriously injured in a racist attack.

    18
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Mark R
    Favourite Mark R
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 8:17 PM

    Congratulations, all your savings and hard work have paid off.

    187
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Sean Money
    Favourite Sean Money
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 8:33 PM

    Well done buying your house

    148
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute 9QRixo8H
    Favourite 9QRixo8H
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 8:30 PM

    “We finally have a home”? I’m afraid this article is out of touch during these decades of FFG housing policy. I finished university, was told to go back to college to upskill when I couldn’t afford housing, which I done, twice. Still my salary wasn’t enough so I had to emigrate. Sorry anti-immigrants. Then my host country paid me way higher wages than what Ireland offers. I could even buy a home here after ONE year. Ireland has bad wages. Workers need to fight.

    155
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute 9QRixo8H
    Favourite 9QRixo8H
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 8:34 PM

    And I hope to god for everyone’s sake that we don’t start all this closing borders because I’d hate to live in Ireland forever. Or to be deported due to the new trend of far-right deportation orders. Ireland sucks.

    43
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Pat Hazzard
    Favourite Pat Hazzard
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 9:00 PM

    @9QRixo8H: Ireland is a high wage, low tax economy.

    53
    See 6 more replies ▾
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute ItWasLikeThatWhenIGotHere
    Favourite ItWasLikeThatWhenIGotHere
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 9:07 PM

    @Pat Hazzard: Ireland is a high tax economy.

    112
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Jerry LeFrog
    Favourite Jerry LeFrog
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 9:20 PM

    @ItWasLikeThatWhenIGotHere: well, if Ireland is a “high tax economy”, then what are France, Denmark, Sweden, Norway or Finland?
    OK, you get quite a few things back from your taxes there, but you pay way more than in Ireland.

    40
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute ItWasLikeThatWhenIGotHere
    Favourite ItWasLikeThatWhenIGotHere
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 9:26 PM

    @Jerry LeFrog: Why do you think you pay more in those countries than Ireland?

    And – as you note – there are actual real benefits for the taxes they do pay.

    Ireland is a high cost, high tax, economy.

    One reason for that is the high cost of government.

    86
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute 9QRixo8H
    Favourite 9QRixo8H
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 9:32 PM

    @Pat Hazzard: workers pay up to 52% tax while businesses pay 12% tax. Ireland is low tax? While wages can’t afford a basic home?

    53
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Paul Gorry
    Favourite Paul Gorry
    Report
    Apr 28th 2024, 4:05 AM

    @Roy Dowling: Did ye win the lottery or was it an inheritance Roy? Maybe the next 4 years will put your comment to bed tho!!

    26
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute CP
    Favourite CP
    Report
    Apr 28th 2024, 7:21 AM

    @9QRixo8H: start a business then if you think it’s so good

    7
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Steven
    Favourite Steven
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 8:26 PM

    Well done, now could you achieve asking the journal to let us comment under important articles please

    108
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Pat Hazzard
    Favourite Pat Hazzard
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 9:01 PM

    @Steven: why comments at all, when most are either from far left or far right loons.

    45
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Brian
    Favourite Brian
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 9:16 PM

    @Pat Hazzard: Says the clown who has to comment on every article. Threatening commentators on here to give them a ‘good hiding and show them what real Fianna Fail men are like’..! lol. Sad man

    81
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute morgan crowe
    Favourite morgan crowe
    Report
    Apr 27th 2024, 9:56 PM

    Congrats and best wishes for the future…SEVEN rabbits though…wow

    77
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute brian o'leary
    Favourite brian o'leary
    Report
    Apr 28th 2024, 6:44 AM

    Here’s a tip, get the house sorted BEFORE having kids.

    62
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute CP
    Favourite CP
    Report
    Apr 28th 2024, 7:22 AM

    @brian o’leary: C’mere now, no room for sense around here

    13
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Mr. Cullen
    Favourite Mr. Cullen
    Report
    Apr 28th 2024, 7:20 AM

    Never understood why anyone would use a mortgage broker. You get copies of your bank statements and payslips and fill out a form.

    22
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Kevin Collins
    Favourite Kevin Collins
    Report
    Apr 28th 2024, 8:51 AM

    @Mr. Cullen: It doesn’t cost anything, they can advise you on your options and it speeds up the process. Yes you can apply without one but there is no harm in using one too.

    29
Submit a report
Please help us understand how this comment violates our community guidelines.
Thank you for the feedback
Your feedback has been sent to our team for review.

Leave a commentcancel