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AS THE PARENT of teenage girls I am aware of the dangers of teenage drinking.
However, as I journey through the minefield that is parenting teens, I am more and more convinced that the strength of my relationship with them is ultimately the only real control I have over my teens.
I cannot force them to do what I want and I simply alienate them from me, so what is the alternative?
1. The importance of the parent and relationships in the family
If the focus is on establishing a good relationship, good communication, some boundaries and setting a good example it will make a difference. If I give them the facts of drinking at an early age, give reasons not to drink and provide ways to avoid dangerous situations, it will help them to identify fun alternatives to drinking and encourage a healthy lifestyle.
Knowing their friends’ parents and keeping tabs on their activities is also important, in early/middle teen years especially.
2. Parents’ own drinking
We have one of the worst incidences of underage binge drinking in the EU, and there can be a link to parents’ attitude to their own drinking. Many teenagers when questioned say ‘they can hardly lecture me’ and this can have an influence on their attitude to drink.
Do we drink to excess? And if so, what message are we sending out to our teens? They are more likely to do what we do – not do what we say. Awareness of our drinking (frequency/quantity) is important.
3. When do teens start drinking?
Headstrong, the National Centre for Youth Mental Health, recently reported that for school-age teens problems are most pronounced in third and fifth year. Third year was identified as the most vulnerable period.
Fifteen-year-old students are facing the Junior Cert, and it is the stage when most start drinking. The studies show that about half this age group are regular drinkers. Yet, almost half do not drink – so what can we do to aid our young people in resisting peer pressure? What can parents do to help?
The bottom line is to have a strong parent-child relationship, where you believe and trust in your child. Teens are more likely to delay drinking when they have a close, supportive tie with a parent who has had good communication with them around this issue. A good relationship with you is likely to influence your child to try to live up to your expectations. Warm and positive parenting ensures a child’s self esteem and encourages a feeling of being happy with themselves.
4. Peer pressure
A good relationship with your teen makes it easier for them to withstand peer pressure. But the opposite is also true: when the relationship between parent and teen is full of conflict or distant, the teen is more likely to use alcohol.
Firm but appropriate expectations, backed up with explanations help them make sensible choices. If there is a history of alcoholism in the family, your child needs to know that for them, drinking carries extra risk.
5. Good communication is vital
Establish open communication – do not preach, lecture, advise or moralise. Instead, encourage conversation by listening without interruption (something I find a challenge) by asking open ended questions like “What do you think about teen drinking?” Why does he/she think teenagers drink?
If you listen without interrupting, he/she will feel heard and respected, and you may learn something. Control your emotions. You may hear something you do not like, but take a few deep breaths and acknowledge your feelings in an honest way. Make every conversation a ‘win-win’ experience – if you show respect for your teen’s viewpoint, he/she will be more likely to show respect for yours.
6. Educate them on the dangers of alcohol
Give your child some facts about alcohol and good reasons not to drink. You want your child to avoid alcohol and establish consequences for breaking rules. Your values count with your child, even if they do not show it. They have probably witnessed other young people drunk and making a fool of themselves; say you want them to maintain self respect. Drinking can be dangerous. A leading cause of teen injuries and death is drink driving.
7. Teen drinking is dangerous
Alcohol lowers your inhibitions. Many drink as it makes them feel more relaxed and confident, but also makes people more vulnerable to sexual assault and unprotected sex. Underage drinking is illegal – the parents of your child’s friends may no longer permit them to associate with your child. Anyone can develop a serious alcohol problem, including a teenager.
Brainstorm difficult situations. Say “if you find yourself anywhere you are not comfortable, you can call me and I will pick you up immediately – and there will be no punishment”.
Sheila O’Malley runs Practical Parenting, which gives help, support and training to parents. She offers one day courses which run monthly, parenting talks for schools and companies, talks on cyber bullying and in house corporate talks/workshops for working parents’ groups.
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There’s a circular area of about thirty square miles in Northern Ireland, where a person might die of thirst.
Lough Neagh, you’d die of drowning.
It looks like there’s no pubs in Tyrone.
With no competition, Lough Neagh looks like a good place to set up shop. I’m gonna open up a pub at the bottom of the lake called Little Atlantis. All Scuba divers get 15% off our heavily watered down pints.
I can assure you all there are many pubs in tyrone. I have no idea why that blank space is there.
You realise this map was discredited the moment it was published a few days ago???? There’s thousands of pubs in Ireland missing!
Nothing in County Louth it seems so many more are missing
British isles?!
I’ve never heard of it either.
The writer must of the old colonial mindset… believing that Ireland is just one of many islands off the mainland.
The British Isles is a geographical term that refers to the islands of Great Britain and Ireland. Every map of the “British Isles” I have seen contains Ireland. It just describes the Islands off the North Western coast of Europe. It’s just a handy term init…!!;)
Are you having a drink in “londonderry” at the minute?
‘British Isles’ is a geographical term that refers to the two island of Ireland and Britain. It is not a political term.
For example, the term ‘Irish Sea’ refers to the sea between Ireland and Britain. In exactly the same way it is a geographical term and not political.
Mr Gomez is able to use ” Britain and Ireland” for his map. It’s a pity some Irish people here don’t follow suit.
I always hated how New Zealand is in Australasia! I used to have to spend a lot of time explaining it was a separate country.
“The British Isles is a geographical term” – who first coined the term? Did it just magically appear and we therefore accept it without question? No. It was coined by those in power at the time of the British Empire. Terminology is powerful, subjective amd often extremely politically motivated. Think of “The War on Terror”, “Weapons of Mass Destruction”. You can question terms used and people can reject terms they find offensive if they so wish.
But they are the British isles as named by the Romans – the Prettanic isles.
Will the “Anglo-Irish Isles do ya so!!! Weapons of mass destruction…PMSL!!!!!
The irish sea doesn’t have millions of people living in it that aren’t Irish or people who have fought countless wars to get rid of occupying Irish soldiers who have caused unparalleled death and destruction.
The government of Ireland doesnt recognise the term and actively discourages it’s use abroad, it has also been removed from geographical school texts in Ireland. It is totally misleading to anyone outside of the Isles and a huge number living in them. British and Irish Isles is used by many scientific authors today to avoid offense. If you are an actual citizen of Ireland then you should use one of the plenty of alternatives in use otherwise you are purposefully causing offense.
personally I prefer the ‘Celtic Archipelago’ myself.
No its inaccurate!
No it’s not a handy term – it often causes confusion and dilutes our tourism marketing efforts to create a unique and differentiated identity for Ireland.
Right I’m of to the pub
see ya there;)
Lots of good spots there!
I love driving around Ireland and seeing pubs in the absolute middle of nowhere. I suppose build it and they will come.
next American to make an Irish alcoholic jibe at me is getting this shoved in their face
England by far has the Lions share of pubs!!! With 54 million people! Love the Typical English pubs and names!! the Drunken Duck, the Cock and Rose, Dirty Dicks, Tudor Tavern, the George and Dragon!!!
The Drunken Duck is a pub in Greencastle, Donegal. Is closed at the moment.
Well there’s one in England too!! Just sayin’ :)
It is now a dead duck!
Just looking at both of those maps. What strikes me is not where the largest concentrations of pubs are, but where the lowest concentrations are. It appears that the places that have the worst reputation for alcohol consumption. Have the lowest amount of pubs. Scotland, Wales, Ireland.
Or the data is terrible because everyone is too sloshed to update OpenStreetMap.
Population. We do put up a good showing though.
British Isles?
This is only a small sample of Irish pubs. Firstly, most towns are represented by one or two dots, whereas I know that Ballina (my local town), for example has c. 40 pubs. Also the area of North West Mayo, which is the most sparsely populated region of the country, is virtually blank – but i reality while there may not be many people in the area, there are still quite a number of rural pubs, all of which are missing.
I can see the Arch Bar in Thurles though!! :)
Are we part of the British isles now?
What’s with this “British Isles” shite?
At least edit this stuff before posting.
Ireland and UK more appropiate.
you are supposed to be Irish?
have your say