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Opinion Let kids be bored, it's how they become creative

Gwen Loughman says we don’t have to cater to our kids’ needs for every day of the summer.

MY SIBLINGS AND I can be held accountable for a lot of misdemeanours during our childhood. Using our mother’s priceless vinyl Beatles singles as plates in our makeshift café immediately springs to mind.

Disappearing for hours at a time, without informing anyone, to explore abandoned farmhouses was another regular infraction. Half feral, we were also held responsible for lighting the odd campfire in the back garden.

If our only crime was doing dangerous things carefully, then we were guilty as charged. But being bored during the school summer break was something we could never have been accused of. In retrospect, this was largely because we were left to our own devices. The lucky benefactors of a generation who grew up under the hands-off parenting model, we thrived on benign neglect. The unspoken directive of “don’t come home unless there is something wrong or it’s time for dinner,” was hardwired into us and our contemporaries alike.

Unburdened with the dystopia of smartphones and, indeed, a simple watch, we relied on our bellies to inform us when it was dinner time. But that was “back then”, and this is the here and now, complete with a very different way of doing things.

Being radical in 2025

In a few short weeks, schools will be out for summer. Those of us with young people attending post-primary education will already have clocked up almost one month of zero school runs, lunches, homework and washing of the uniforms.

However, along with the joy of not having to go to school for eight weeks comes the “what will we do with them” conundrum.

Sure, there are summer camps galore, but they only solve the problem for a few hours each day, plus they are only for a limited time. They can also be quite expensive, particularly for two or more children.

Perhaps you’ve lucked out, and the older teens already have part-time work for the summer. And with any luck, there is a lovely family holiday to look forward to. But ultimately, parents worry and stress about how to fill the long summer holidays for their young charges.

I have a deranged suggestion.

Leave them be.

Bear with me. Our kids are micromanaged and over-subscribed every other month of the year, so why not give them July and August to just be little kids?

Don’t parents need some downtime too? Surely we do enough for our smallies, driving them hither and tither, cooking the endless meals, reminding them to brush their teeth and, in general, keeping them alive all of the live long day without signing up for the thankless task of summer social director as well?

The art of being bored

I say this with much love: It’s not our job to regale them every second of the day.
During the height of my time in the parenting trenches, I had one pair of hands, four small humans under the age of six and a very tired brain. It just wasn’t possible for me to cater to all of their entertainment needs.

Although, full disclosure. I did avail of a family membership to the swimming pool for the two months and frog marched them there, if only to ensure I got my money’s worth. But that was it. After that, they were on their own. Not for this family, early morning alarms set for Cúl Camp, forest adventures or athletics.

I don’t have childcare dilemmas, and so I fully accept it’s easy for me to declare “let them be bored” but there is a lot to be said for it. Even The New York Times said so.

Boredom can be a gift. When was the last time you were bored? Properly bored. Can you remember what you did to alleviate that? Snacking, scrolling or online shopping doesn’t count.

The act of being bored doesn’t miraculously endow our youngsters (or us) with incredible skills. It’s what they do when they are at a frustrating loose end that reaps dividends.

Being idle often leads to creativity. Present them with a large cardboard box and free rein to go to town on it. Ask them to write about a dream they had, but change the ending. Watch how a small patch of ground and a packet of seeds have the potential to cultivate an interest that might last for weeks, simply waiting for the things to germinate and life to appear.

Here’s a really good one. Lack of something to do helps our successors build tolerance of less-than-ideal experiences. That one caught my attention too. What does it mean exactly? In a nutshell, when life isn’t going the way they want it to, and our kids are being fed micro annoyances, it’s believed boredom is the gateway skill to helping them regulate their emotions and manage frustrations.

If it’s of any help at all, eventually the older gang will police the younger ones, but long before that, they will become each other’s amusement, whether they realise it or not.

Look, I don’t know either. My lot went through a phase where they purloined knives and teaspoons to dig holes in the garden. And I let them. They were outside, getting along and having fun.

How did we move so very far away from kids having the freedom to being let roam wild and free? A rhetorical question. We only have to pick up the paper, any paper, to understand why.

Nonetheless, a lovely acquaintance once said that it’s OK to be a little bit blind and a little bit deaf when you have kids. I’d like to add it’s good to be bored onto that. Just maybe keep an eye on your cutlery.

Gwen Loughman is gatekeeper of four boys, one husband and watcher over two dogs.  

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26 Comments
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    Mute Johnny King
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    Jun 19th 2025, 7:09 PM

    Agreed
    Every minute of every day has to be filled with piano lessons,Ballet lessons,French lessons,sports,crafts etc.
    Nothing wrong with learning new things but modern parents seem to be obsessed with never letting their children be idle to explore their imaginations.
    So called boredom is a very natural state of being and has been since humans existed I imagine.Relax……

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    Mute Ian Cryan
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    Jun 19th 2025, 8:48 PM

    Kids are not creative anymore. They on devices too much and also get bored as quickly. Kids are not Kids anymore like years ago

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    Mute Thesaltyurchin
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    Jun 20th 2025, 7:44 AM

    @Ian Cryan: This means you are now old.

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    Mute Simon Tobin
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    Jun 19th 2025, 7:41 PM

    Aaah those were the days alright…hard times but happy times. No chance of them getting anyway close to a boredom stage these days with such easy access to a screen. Doomscrolling is the issue.

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    Mute Meh Meh
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    Jun 19th 2025, 7:10 PM

    How bored are we talking here? Inner City Dublin, no outdoors facilities, bored or Foxrock “Mummy, I’m bored of this Pony!” Bored?

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    Mute Setanta O'Toole
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    Jun 19th 2025, 8:43 PM

    @Meh Meh: i’ve seen kids in working class areas that were just as spoiled. Tis down to the parents, not the economic bracket!

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    Mute Meh Meh
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    Jun 19th 2025, 9:29 PM

    @Setanta O’Toole: I suppose, anyone can get a pony, depending on who you know.

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    Mute The Kenn
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    Jun 19th 2025, 11:27 PM

    @Meh Meh: There’s more ponies in Finglas or Tallaght than Foxrock, by multitudes.

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    Mute Karin Ahlers
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    Jun 19th 2025, 8:48 PM

    My best time as a kindergarten teacher was when we worked together with a drug team on drug prevention. We assumed, it is important to start early. Children nowadays are not allowed to be bored anymore. As soon as they start complaining, there is something to make them feel better: the Telly, new toys, sweets… Thus they learn early, that there is always a quick fix for their bad feelings. They don’t learn to entertain themselves. It starts with the computer games, later it’s the cigarette, the drink, the pills.

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    Mute Karin Ahlers
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    Jun 19th 2025, 8:55 PM

    @Karin Ahlers: We decided to ‘send all toys for 4 weeks into holidays’. The parents were sceptical, but after a short transition the kids started to play with the furniture, stones and sticks. They communicated much more with each other, negotiating what next. Fights were almost gone – nothing to fight about. After 4 weeks, nobody wanted the toys back. Many families started to put their toys away. Everybody said, the situation at home was more relaxed.
    That’s just another positive reason to let them be bored.

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    Mute Furious George - The Wasp
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    Jun 20th 2025, 9:59 AM

    @Karin Ahlers: really interesting experiment. Wonder would it work with adults or would there just be silence

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    Mute Larry Betts
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    Jun 19th 2025, 7:35 PM

    I say to my kids “You want to be boring?” “Yes,daddy!” “Well,you know the drill” “We do,daddy!” “Great,here ya go. Here’s a set of shelves I got in B&Q,put them up for me in my man shed” as I hand them my Black & Decker

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    Mute Setanta O'Toole
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    Jun 19th 2025, 8:40 PM

    @Larry Betts: not really up there with ‘Hi Bored, I’m Dad’.

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    Mute Larry Betts
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    Jun 19th 2025, 9:36 PM

    @Setanta O’Toole: Enough of your criticism. People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

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    Mute Larry Betts
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    Jun 19th 2025, 9:37 PM

    @Larry Betts: Also,people who live in stone houses shouldn’t throw glasses.

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    Mute Lance Taylor
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    Jun 19th 2025, 8:35 PM

    As soon as mandatory national service is introduced the better. Also remove PlayStation and what not, replace with sports.

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    Mute Setanta O'Toole
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    Jun 19th 2025, 8:41 PM

    @Lance Taylor: when would you conscript them into the army, after creche or let them make their holy communion first?

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    Mute Lance Taylor
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    Jun 19th 2025, 8:46 PM

    @Setanta O’Toole: at 17 when they are able and the crime starts

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    Mute Ian Cryan
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    Jun 19th 2025, 9:03 PM

    @Lance Taylor: jesus by 17 most of their crime careers is over

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    Mute Thesaltyurchin
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    Jun 20th 2025, 7:48 AM

    @Lance Taylor: Everyone should do 2 years in the public sector! : )

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    Mute Be Lucky
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    Jun 19th 2025, 11:51 PM

    Very hard now days to play with your imagination, when I was kid there was no security/fencing on building sites, there where lots of empty buildings to play games. Buildings of curiosity that where used where not guarded like now days. You could climb trees play cowboys in the tall meadow grass without some eco nut telling you your damaging the environment or some pc nut telling you off for pertaining to be a cow boy or Indian. Even tho we got more we have lost so much of simple life pleasures & freedoms .

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    Mute Thesaltyurchin
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    Jun 20th 2025, 7:50 AM

    @Be Lucky: lol, it’s ‘Cowperson’ and ‘Native American’ actually! ; )

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    Mute Ai Ie
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    Jun 19th 2025, 10:34 PM

    The problem is kids are not treated as kids anymore! Good parents always try to bring up their kids with good parenting skills regardless of social class.

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    Mute Suzanne Phelan
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    Jun 20th 2025, 9:18 AM

    I love this article and couldn’t agree more. It is complex if you work full time, don’t have outside space or that space is risky. However much can be made of nothing a large box some dress up clothes, water in a basin simple stuff but sometimes challenging to implement. Enjoy your summer

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    Mute Jason Walsh
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    Jun 20th 2025, 7:44 AM

    No camps when I get up. Off on the bikes exploring on a nice day. Jigsaw, Lego or airfix models on a wet day. If ya complained of being bored there was always weeding and other chores. Give them small jobs to do around the house, valuable life lessons.

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    Mute Nikki Swift
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    Jun 19th 2025, 10:08 PM

    Or don’t have kids if ya haven’t the time to entertain them

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